Disclaimer: I do not own, hold any rights to, or am in any way affiliated with, Harry Potter, etc.
Possible mild spoilers for past events referred to in all Harry Potter books.
If you require pairing spoilers, see my profile page.
Author's note: This story picks up directly after Peter changes and flees after the events of Oct. 31st, 1981. All events beforhand occur as we are told they do in the books. Special thanks to Jediempress for convincing me that this story was not a load of rubbish. Riku-Rocks.
Sirius Apparated before the Magical Law Enforcement Squad could reach him. He could not believe it. James and his wife were gone. Peter had been the spy all along. Peter had betrayed them all… In addition, Sirius had let him, even helped him… And, oh Merlin, Remus… what must he think of them by now? They had completely abandoned him. Peter had ruined everything.
Sirius needed to get this cleared up, and there was only one person who would listen to him now, if he had not burned that bridge down to ash during the past couple months.
He arrived in Remus' small flat, and felt another wave of guilt. They had shared Sirius' flat until they had a bad row nearly two months past. Sirius had started it; actually, Sirius had carried it. Remus had hardly said anything and had not raised his voice once during the whole argument, if one could call it that. Sirius could not recall actually telling the other to leave, but it had been clear enough that he was unwanted, and Remus, never one for confrontation, had left that night without a word of protest.
Now, Remus rushed into the room (wand drawn, of course) and suddenly froze when he saw Sirius. "Padfoot, what happened?" He asked, voice almost desperate. "They're saying that you betrayed James and Lily, that you murdered Peter along with several others. How…? What happened?"
"Remus," said Sirius, his voice just as desperate. "I swear it isn't what it looks like. I didn't betray them, it was Peter."
Remus' eyes widened slightly, but he kept them focused on the man before him. "Peter… but how? You were… Unless…you switched…without telling me, but why…?" The shock remained in his features, it would probably be there for quite some time, however, the shock became secondary to sorrow now, and that would remain for even longer. When he spoke again, his voice was no longer desperate. Nor was it accusing, as Sirius would have expected from anyone else. It sounded crushed and defeated. "You thought I was the spy. All of you." With that, he lowered his eyes and his wand.
"Remus, I…" Sirius began, but the other man interrupted him.
"Never mind that for now," Remus said as he raised his head again, "What happened tonight?"
Sirius explained everything, starting with his grand idea to convince James into making Peter their Secret-Keeper, and ending with him tracking down Peter. He told Remus about Peter naming him as the traitor and then killing several Muggles and cutting off his finger before transforming into a rat and scurrying off. This left Sirius to take the fall.
When he reached the end of his explanation, Sirius' eyes widened as he realised something he had not thought of before. "The Aurors! Remus, I have to go. If they find me here, they'll assume you had something to do with this, and the Ministry won't waste any time in persecuting a werewolf… even if they have no evidence to support it."
To Sirius' surprise, Remus gained a distant and thoughtful expression for a moment. Sirius knew that look, it meant he was deciding something important, possibly life altering. After a brief moment, the werewolf spoke quietly. "Then let them."
"What? Remus, you can't mean that," Sirius replied. He could not shake the feeling that he was missing something… something important. "I won't have us both throw our lives away like that."
"Neither would I," Remus conceded. "Sirius, you know the Ministry won't stop until they have someone to hold accountable for this. They need to save face, and you're right about the lack of evidence not stopping them, for you as well."
"I know, but it will be even more difficult for you," answered Sirius; he still had that feeling, and he did not like that. "Besides, it's not as though they would let us share a cell; it wouldn't do any good if we were both thrown into Azkaban." Remus nodded his agreement to that logic; however, that only made the feeling of unease increase within Sirius.
"How many know that you suspected me?" Remus asked, his voice sounded carefully neutral. "By you I also mean James and Lily."
Sirius was a little taken aback because it wasn't like Remus to ask such a question, especially in a situation such as the one they were facing, but he decided the other had every right to know and this may be the last time they spoke to each other. Besides, knowing his friend, there was probably another reason behind the query.
"No one knows for certain. At first, we defended you if anyone else in the Order said anything. For the longest time, I wouldn't even consider it as a possibility." Sirius wanted to say that how much he regretted that he had accepted it, but Remus was right, there was not time for that now. "After awhile though, they began to doubt and then I- but none of us ever said it." Sirius never could say it aloud. James and Lily never had either. It was as if they were afraid that verbalizing their fear would make it a fact, and then there would be no room for doubts.
"Good, then tell the Aurors that you suggested switching to me as Secret-Keeper. You stayed quiet so the real spy would believe you had accepted that I was the traitor. When Dumbledore and the others think back, it will make perfect sense. It is, essentially the plan you made anyway, and everyone knows that I can keep a secret. They'll believe it, and as you said, the Ministry will be more then willing to accept that a werewolf was on Lord Voldemort's side without any evidence…and no one will care if I don't receive a fair trial."
"No!" Sirius responded before the suggestion even settled in properly. "Remus, they will throw you in Azkaban for life…if you're lucky. Besides, Peter is still alive and out there."
"Exactly…Think about Harry," Remus answered mildly, almost subjectively. "They will never allow me to have custody of him, and you know how Lily's sister feels about our world. However, you are his godfather; they have to give him to you unless you are found guilty. Sirius, if they take you then Harry and I have lost everything, but if we do this, then you and Harry still have a chance to be happy...to be together."
"They won't look for Peter if they have you in Azkaban," Sirius said intrepidly.
"They won't look for him either way," answered Remus, his voice even softer.
Sirius despised the whole idea, but at the same time, he had to admit that Remus was right. He searched for an argument that he could use against it. "There were witnesses that heard Peter declare me the traitor before half the street was destroyed. The Ministry can't ignore that; they'll take us both."
Remus' eyes flicked down to Sirius wand, and the dark haired man knew that the other was doing some very quick thinking. "Priori Incantatem…they can use your wand to prove you did not cast the spell that killed all those people. Tell them everything as it happened, except for the changes I already suggested. Also, tell them about going to Peter's house, -make an excuse- and then tracking him down. Tell them you were not sure anymore about who the spy was by that point. Peter called you the traitor and then the street exploded, you have no idea how."
"That's ridiculous, Remus, there were witnesses." Sirius was finding it harder to argue, but he did not want to allow Remus to do this for him.
"The witnesses obviously didn't see many details if they failed to notice a full grown man turn into a rat," remarked the fawn-haired young man without missing a trick. "Also, those witnesses have most likely been obliviated already. Point that out; Muggles are easily confused when faced with magic. I am not asking you to claim I was the spy Sirius, just convince them it was not you. They'll reach the conclusion that it was me on their own."
"Yes, right after I tell them that a werewolf was the Secret-Keeper," Sirius commented bitterly.
"Right after you tell them that you suggested a werewolf as the Secret-Keeper," Remus corrected. "Just say that as far as you know, James accepted your advice. You were not present when the magic was cast, naturally."
"And if the real spy is caught later on?" Sirius prompted, although he was no longer sure if he was arguing or asking for more details about the plan. If the circumstances had not been so dire, Sirius would have laughed at how much it felt like fine-tuning a prank back at Hogwarts.
"As I said, neither of us will claim I'm the traitor. You say you weren't certain, and I'll say it was Peter," Remus offered. "If they never catch him, at least you and Harry will be alright. If they do, you can ask that they review my case. The mere fact that he is alive is bound to arouse some suspicion. Who knows, maybe they'll let me go."
"But we can't count on that," said Sirius.
"No," Remus shook his head sadly, "we can't."
"I don't want to let you do this," whispered Sirius, staring at the other's face. Nevertheless, I will.
"I know, Padfoot," Remus whispered in response, meeting Sirius' eyes. You have to.
Without breaking eye contact, Sirius crossed the space between them, and then embraced the other man, who returned the gesture immediately.
"I'm so sorry, Moony," breathed Sirius.
"I know, Padfoot," Remus exhaled.
"Can you ever forgive me?" whispered Sirius.
"I already have," answered Remus softly.
"You don't have to do this," Sirius offered, "maybe they'll believe me anyway."
"It doesn't matter what they believe, they need someone to hold responsible," countered Remus. "I don't have the future that you have anyway, and I cannot offer Harry the future that you can either."
"I'll tell him all about you, so he'll know who you are when you come back to us," said Sirius, and he hoped that he sounded more optimistic then he felt.
"I'd like that." Remus was much better at forced optimism then Sirius. "Take care of yourself, Padfoot."
"You too, Moony…" Sirius reluctantly let go, and very soon after, the Aurors arrived and took both men to the Ministry.
The way Sirius could see the Ministry officials treating Remus before they were separated for questioning removed any doubts he had about whether the lycanthrope was right in his assessment of the situation. It was obvious that as far as they were concerned, Remus was guilty. They were simply considering the possibility that Sirius had been working for Lord Voldemort alongside him, due to the incident with Peter as well as the general belief that he was the Potters' Secret-Keeper. As soon as Sirius gave the statements that Remus had suggested, his inquisitor's tone drastically changed. They clearly decided that they were dealing with a victim instead of a villain. Sirius wondered how Remus, who was more of a victim in this then he, was faring.
When they began to refer to Remus as 'it' or 'the werewolf' instead of 'him' or 'Mr. Lupin', Sirius knew his friend had already been condemned. Yet again, he had helped destroy the life of someone he loved.
Sirius enquired without hope about speaking to Remus before he left, and was not surprised that he could not. Instead, he asked what he needed to do to claim custody of his godson. A fair amount of paperwork along with an argument with Dumbledore later, and he was the legal guardian of one Harry James Potter.