YET ANOTHER REPOST!
TitleSweeping Insensitivity of This Still Life
RatingT
GenreRomance/Tragedy/Drama
CharactersTemperance "Bones" Brennan and Seeley Booth
Pairings
Seeley Booth couldn't see a thing. Only because his vision was blurred by mounding tears that were forming and weren't ending anytime soon. He stared ahead at her. Just her. Nothing else. He chose to ignore all else. Chose to ignore all those lines and wires and machinery that were working to keep her alive. Chose to ignore them. And he would.
Temperance Brennan had always been a fighter. To Booth, it seemed at though now she was about to lose. And he knew that she would fight no matter what he said or what anybody else told her.
Booth couldn't understand it. It was just a bullet. He's been hit with bullets a hundred times and over and he was still walking around fine. Why her? Why did Oliver Laurier suddenly crack under all the pressure, grabbing his gun by default and instantaneously shoot her? Wasn't he supposed to be her biggest fan? What had went wrong? Booth didn't know and he didn't think that he wanted to know. Like he didn't want to know her injuries.
She groaned lowly and Booth very carefully took her IV hand. "Bones," he tried to keep the cracking of his tone under control. "Can you hear me?"
Brennan slowly moved her fingers over his hand and cracked one eye open. "Hi."
Her voice sounded so distant. It took everything in Booth to not break then. "Hey," he smiled. "Hey, you're going to be okay, Bones, okay?"
"Yeah..." Brennan groaned in sheer pain and Booth bit his lip. He hated seeing her like this. Wasn't used to it. Normally this was him. Never her. So why did it all have to go wrong? "I'll...be fine..." she managed a smile.
Booth smiled and rubbed his thumb across her hand. "Yeah you will be. You'll get out of here and--and got back to the Jeffersonian and do the job you always love to do. You will, Bones, I promise."
Brennan lifted a hand, then winced. "Ow."
"Don't, Bones, don't move, okay?" He gently laid her hand back down. "Just relax."
Brennan took a staggering breath and winced again. She was in so much pain that it pained Booth to watch. If he had the power, he would take it away from her. Bring it upon himself instead. He would. He loved her. She was his Bones. And he would do anything for her.
"I wish I could help," Booth smiled and gently kissed her hand.
Brennan let out a low moan. "You are. You're here. That's all I need."
"Tempe, you have to fight. You've fought so many other things. One little bullet shouldn't stop you."
"I know," she lolled her head to the side. "I'm trying."
"You better try harder," Booth told her sternly. "I promised your father I would protect you and I promised myself that I wouldn't lose you. It's not going to happen now," tears ran down his face by now and his voice was trembling slightly.
Brennan saw this. "Oh, Booth. Come here," she lifted her arm, ignoring all pain and grabbed hold of Booth's shirt, lowering him down until she could hug him. "Cry, Booth. Cry."
Booth still held onto her hand and sobbed into her shoulder. He couldn't remember the last time he'd just cried about something. But it was such a release. A release from everthing he'd held inside before. It was almost comforting.
Brennan laid her head closer to his and took a breath painfully. She let Booth go and slipped off her oxygen mask. "Booth."
"Bones," Booth tried to reason with her, "put it back on. You need it."
Brennan motioned for him to come back down and when he did, she met his lips. She smiled weakly when he pulled away and slipped her mask back on. "I'm not going anywhere."
Booth nodded numbly. He wanted to believe it, but had seen death many times before. He knew what it looked like and Temperance's was one of the many. He stroked her hair and bit his lip when she groaned louder in pain. "Bones, I'm sorry."
"For...what?"
"I didn't protect you."
"Yes...you did. I'm not going anywhere, Booth."
"I would love to believe that, Temperance. You know I would," Booth looked at her with all sincerety. "But you know I've seen this many times before. And we both know that you're dying. I don't care what you say. It's the truth." He paused. "And I would love to believe that you could and would stay here with me. But we both know what we have coming."
Tears spilled from Brennan's eyes. "I know."
"I know you do," Booth kissed her forehead. "I know."
Hours passed of Brennan's groaned and yells of pain. Hours passed of Booth just being there, comforting her the best that he could. Hours passed of tears and memory recollection. Hours passed of Booth's mind slowly counting the minutes until his Bones was taken from him.
But upon the hour of her death, she started breathing heavily, as if never having breathed before in her life. Booth stood there, straight as an ex-Army Sniper, holding her hand, but letting his tears be shown.
The doctors had since then piled in. Her monitors beeped and went all out. Signs that told Booth she was leaving in less than that moments' time.
"Booth," she gasped.
"I know, Tempe," he kissed her lips. "I love you."
Brennan gripped his hand. "I'm sorry."
"I am, too."
"Watch Ange...for me."
"I will," Booth bit his lip. "I will."
Brennan gasped for breath. "I love you...Seeley."
Booth found the will to smile. The words just hit him. "I love you, too, Tempe. Be my guardian angel for me." He kissed her hand as it went limp and the EKG went flat. She was gone.
And it was then that Seeley Booth sobbed, sitting on the bed and holding her body, rocking it.
Angela Montenegro had stood in the doorway with Jack Hodgins then and seeing the agent with her dead best friend's body and crying, she broke down, holding onto Jack as if the whole entire world and Brennan's existence of coming back depended on it.
Funeral services were that next day. Booth didn't want to waste any time. The day had brought rain, which suited his mood and the Squints' mood perfectly. Booth looked at the people who were there: Angela, Zach Addy, Jack, himself, Cullen, Camille Saroyan, and Tim Sullivan. Others were there, too, but Booth didn't have time to recognize them all.
He stood straight as an FBI Agent in front of Brennan's casket, holding his hands in front of him crossed. His teary eyes were hidden by his sunglasses and the rain was welcoming as it poured down over him. He let his eyes wander over to Angela, who was sobbing into Jack's shoulder. He looked over at Zach, who was sullen and quiet. His eyes then wandered over to Cam. She was crying as well as holding Sully's hand tightly. He looked at Sully, who was gnawing on his lip and casting glances over in his direction. Lastly, Booth looked at Cullen. Cullen was standing very much like Booth himself and looking at Brennan's casket. Booth knew what he was thinking about. His daughter, Amy. Booth had remembered that day well. Brennan had been with him. They all had. They had all been there for Cullen. Now, they were returning the favor back.
Booth cleared his throat and Cullen gave him the nod to say anything at all he wanted to. And he knew exactly what he wanted to say.
"Temperance..." he swallowed hard. "Excuse me." He swallowed again and gained composure. "Temperance Brennan...I couldn't have worked with someone better. She was a breath of fresh air to me. Witty and sarcastic at times, she--she never really let anybody in." He looked over at the Squints. "Except for the people she knew best," he cast a look over at Sully and Cam after. "I worked with her for two--two wonderful years..." he swallowed again. "She didn't deserve what she had coming to her. She loved her job, she loved the people she worked with...and me. She--she loved me." He looked at Sully. "I remember when Sully lost his partner. The pain he had. I have respect for that now. Because I know what it feels like."
Sully nodded in response.
"So...to Bones," he smiled and took out two things from his trenchcoat pocket. "Your mother's beltbuckle," he laid the dolphin buckle on the top of the casket much like he had when he gave Amy Cullen his pin. "And..." he smiled at the very first FBI medal he'd ever recieved, "...my very first FBI medal. You deserve it, Bones. You really do." He laid that down right next to the beltbuckle and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Thanks for the best two years of my life with you." He smiled and kissed Brennan's casket. "I love you, Bones."
He took two steps back and stood straight once again, in between Angela and Sully. Angela squeezed his arm and Sully looked at him.
"Very touching, Booth."
Booth nodded. "She wouldn't like it, but..." He shrugged. "It's Bones, you can't please her."
"She would have liked it. She probably does."
Booth nodded.
"You know she loved you, right?" Sully looked sideways at him.
Booth nodded and caught the sob in his throat. "Yeah...she--she told me."
"She was a good person, Booth, don't let her die and go in vain. Continue her work. You know the team would want that," Sully nodded towards Brennan's casket. "She would want that."
Booth swallowed hard and his voice broke. "I know she would." He looked at Sully. "I know she would."
Night found Seeley Booth in her office that same day.
He sat in her chair and just let his eyes wander. She was gone, but somehow, she was still there. He dried his eyes and looked down at the desktop where lay her unfinished book that she had been working on. The title of it was Death In Bones and Booth couldn't help but to shake his head and utter a small laugh. It was ironic, the title and what had happened to her. So ironic that it had become true.
The book was unfinished, with one page left, two inlcuding the dedicate. But going to the front, Booth made a change:
Death In Bones
Seeley Booth
Then flipping to the dedicate page, he wrote:
Dedicated to Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan. The best partner, friend, and love I could have ever hoped to ask for. May she not die in vain and may her memory live on in the lives of her workers, fans, and family members. Here's to you, Bones.
Smiling through a few falling tears, Booth grabbed the half-finished page and started writing. He'd never had this experience before, but he had all the right reasons and ideas to finish what Brennan had begun. In both her writing and job.
That next afternoon found Seeley Booth in the office of Dani Serveilli, Brennan's publicist, with the prinout of Death In Bones. He wanted it printed as soon as it could be printed and Dani had come through. She was going to put the book on the shelves shortly after lunch and Booth told her that he wanted her to schedule a confrontational meeting to discuss the book rather than having the usual signing. Dani nodded and hurried off to do so.
Booth leaned against the desk and looked at the cover. The title and and his name blared at him in bold, black lettering and the background was blood red with a sillhouette of a skull and bones behind the original look of the skull and bones. He flipped it to the back where a black and white photo of him and Brennan together stared him in the face. Below, in white lettering was:
Special Agent Seeley Booth and Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan
Partners Forever Even In Death
He grinned somehow. Angela had written that part. He'd gone to her, asking what to do for the back part of the book. She'd fished out the photo that had been taken not so very long ago during one of her photoshoots and had come up with the writing. She had told him that it suited the photo and the current. Booth had taken both gladly.
The FBI agent flipped to the back of the book to the dedication page. Exactly how he wanted it, and exactly how he'd written it. He then flipped to the last chapter that he'd finished. His eyes scanned until he found where Brennan had left off and where he had picked up. Then, he bagan to read silently to himself through the falling tears, "...the case had been in my favor all that time. And even though I had never known it, part of me wanted to resent what had happened to Tresia Janlie. She didn't deserve the fateful death she faced. She didn't deserve to leave like she had and leave everybody who loved her and whom she loved behind. Tresia may not have died in vain, but she didn't die with glory. She died with respect. Respect for herself and for those she knew..."
That night, Seeley Booth was at Brennan's grave. He had the book in his hand and stared at her headstone. "Hi, Bones," he smiled somewhat. "I, uh, finished your book. I dedicated it to you. Of course you probably didn't need to know that." He smiled. "You angels know everything that goes on down here." He paused and took a shuddering breath. "I miss you, Bones. We all do. But we're keeping your legacy alive. I've read so many of your books to know how to write and what to write. And with each book will come a dedication to you. I know you probably won't want that, but I'm still going to do it. You deserve so much better than what you had." He paused and looked around. "Ollie went to jail, Bones. Prison for life by order of me and Sully. We don't know what made him crack, but we'll make sure he never forgets what he did to you." He knelt down and kissed his hand, placing it on her headstone. "I gotta go, Bones. I love you."
Shortly after, Booth shifted his feet, holding the book in his hand still. Dani had issued the confrontational sooner than he'd expected, but he was grateful. The sooner people knew, the better things would progress from there on in.
Dani flipped her bubble gum pink hair over her shoulder. "Ready, Agent Booth?"
"Please, Seeley. I don't feel so very professional right now," he cocked a grin.
Dani nodded. "Okay, Seeley. Ready?"
Booth nodded and Dani gave him the okay, to which he regarded the crowd. In the distance, he could spot Sully, Cam, Angela, Jack, and Zach. They all waved and sent hiim a saddened smile. Booth nodded in return, then started.
"Hi. As you all are aware, the author of this book isn't Dr. Brennan," he looked down for a moment. "It's me. Many of you may know me as Special Agent Seeley Booth of the FBI. I worked with Dr. Brennan. Others may know me as Andrew Ryan in the book. Yes, that is me. Though Dr. Brennan always denied it." He smiled, then went serious. "Bones, as I called her, was shot not so very long ago. She died in D.C. Memorial Hospital and I watched while comforting her. The revelance of her murderer is not important for you guys to know, but it is for us. Us being me and her team," he gestured to the back. "I will be continuing Bones' works with the team. Her books, her job. I realize that...that the way I write the books probably won't be as good, but each one is in living memory of her. I'm doing this purely out of her. She would want this from us. She would want us to remember her. Remember her and continue our lives remembering her." He swallowed. "That's what I'm doing."
Angela smiled. "He's good."
"Yeah," Sully agreed. "He's doing the best thing for everyone."
"That's what he does," Ange replied.
Sully nodded. "I know."
Two weeks later, Seeley Booth was shot in the arm during a mission, losing complete loss of the entire muscle. He still wrote the books, still kept with the jobs, and still went on. Physical rehab was painful, but he got by. He couldn't use the arm, but kept it in a sling at all times. Not a day went by, though, when he didn't think of his Bones. Not a day went by when he thought of her. Not a day went by when he knew for a fact that she had been protecting him during that mission. Why he didn't lose his life as well. She was being his guardian angel like he had asked. She was retuning the favors of all the times he'd saved her by protecting him.
Booth still went to his therapist. Dr. Wyatt often asked about his feelings. How he was doing, how he thought he was getting along after Brennan's death. Each time, Booth answered the same. Each time, Dr. Wyatt accepted the answer.
A month later, Angela was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had about a month left to live. Booth felt the walls coming back up, then crashing down all around him. He went to talk to Brennan daily. He worked on a new book titled Guarding Bones. He still did his job. He wasn't going to let this new bit of news overrun his life. He believed that something good would come out of it.
It had.
By Angela's next checkup, the cancer was gone. She was fine. It had been as if nothing had ever been there in the first place.
Booth believed that Brennan had been watching over her best friend as well. Or maybe...maybe it was him. Maybe Brennan did it for him. Maybe she knew everything. Brennan knew. Knew that Booth needed to keep on. So she spared Angela. Yes, Booth was sure of this.
By the end of that month, the new book was in production.
Guarding Bones
Seeley Booth
Dedicated to Brennan and now had a spin on Angela's cancer scare in the book. The dedication was ever the same and a new picture of the both of them was featured on the back of the book. The writing was still the same underneath it.
Two months later, Sully became paralyzed during a mission. Booth was trying to pull strings to keep Sully on the team. Cullen allowed him to work for them still, but office work. Sully agreed and Booth was thankful. Anything to keep the people he had left in his life together.
Booth believed Brennan had a reason for not healing Sully. He believed that she had a reason for keeping him confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. And that reason would be for Tim Sullivan to stay with them. That FBI missions wouldn't overrun the other half of the job. That he could defintely help out around the Jeffersonian and lab.
Both Sully and Booth thanked her for that.
Another month went by and Cam found herself wanting to quit. There was too much for her to handle. Booth was to put a stop to that. He called her in his office and she numbly walked in.
"You want to leave?"
Cam nodded.
"Why? Because the memories are too heavy to bear? Cam, I'm dealing with it just as much as you or the next person, but look how far we've come! Angela's better! I'm not dead! Sully's not dead! What more do you want?" Booth was at this point standing in front of her.
Cam closed her eyes. "I don't know. I never had this happen."
"You should be happy, Cam. You still have a job, a life. Bones is dead, but I'm sure she's happy, too. She's with her mother and father. She's watching over us. Do you think those instances with Ange, Sully, and I were just coincidence?" Booth asked.
"No," Cam shook her head. "I'm sorry, Booth. I'm just...overwhelmed."
"We all are. Even months after Bones' death. It still effects us and it will always effect us. It won't go anywhere." Booth paused. "I just need you to stick it out with us. Stay. We'll all get through it all over again. Just like we do every day."
Cam nodded. "Okay."
Booth smiled and gave her a friendly hug. "Thanks."
"No, thank you."
Near the end of that month, it was Parker's birthday. Booth looked forward to a happy occasion. Rebecca had dropped the boy off at the Jeffersonian and Parker followed Booth into Brennan's office, which was now his own. He just kept everything Brennan had ever had still in there.
Parker sat in the desk chair and looked at the picture of Brennan and Booth together that was sitting there. "Do you miss her, Daddy?"
Booth nodded. "Every day, Bud. Everybody here does."
"She was very pretty," Parker picked up the picture now. "I remember meeting her."
Booth smiled. "She was very pretty."
"Did you love her, Daddy?" Parker looked up at him, his brown eyes reflecting off of Booth.
"Very much," Booth hugged his son. "Very very much."
That same month Guarding Bones hit its all-time high in the selling records. Booth denied the money.
Another two months past and it found Zach Addy with a girlfriend. Madni Rhilie. She was hired by Booth for secretary work and had laughed when the blonde fell for Zach. It wasn't long before the two got together. Angela thought it was cute, Booth joked with Zach, telling him that he better be careful or else he'd shoot him in between the eyes for hooking up the hired secretary. Zach had replied with a curt, "Yes, Sir," which made Booth laugh.
That same month, Booth began writing another book.
Bending of Bones
Seeley Booth
This told the story of everything in the past that had happened, but keeping in theme with Temperance's characters. Kathy Reichs was dead, Andy kept up with her jobs, and everybody else tied into the book with their struggles along with new cases very nicely. Booth was proud of this book.
Yet at in that same month, Jack Hodgins proposed to Angela after their one year relationship. Angela said yes. The wedding was to be that next Christmas.
That night of the proposal, Booth went to Brennan's grave. "Hey, Bones. Angela and Hodgins are getting married. Guess you already knew that, though. I think you set it up." He grinned. "I would have married you, Bones. You know I would have. I would have loved to spend the rest of my life with you." He knelt down and kissed his fingers, placing it on her headstone. "Night, Bones. I love you."
By the beginning of December, Booth produced a special addition book.
Wedding Bones
Seeley Booth
This book told the story of what would have happened if Kathy and Andy had ended up together. If Kathy hadn't died and the two got together. Married, kids, the whole deal. Only, Booth changed it for the benefit of it being special addition. Kathy was no longer Kathy but Temperance Brennan. And Andy was now him. Seeley Booth. The book hit big and Booth got money for it even though he declined. He took it and gave half to Rebecca for personal purposes and some to Sully for his medical bills and necessities. Late at night, Booth would sit home and read the book. He had already read it twice and over, but each time he did, it felt as if it were real. As if it really happened.
By the beginning of January, Booth had another book in mind.
Saving Bones, Saving Me
Seeley Booth
The fans loved the rendered version of Kathy and Andy as it being Brennan and him. So he kept with it. This next book was about everything that he and Temperance had been through. From the first time they met when he'd arrested her, up to now. Everything in between, from the time he'd saved her from Kenton, to the time he'd saved her from the entrapment of her car. Every single little thing. He'd pulled some strings to make everything else not so quite out there that the public knew every case they'd gone through. No, he'd changed them. But everything else was just the same.
This book also hit big and it was claimed as another special addition, even though Booth hadn't issued that specifically.
By March, Sully and Cam were engaged. They were going to get married just before Angela and Jack. Zach and Madni's relationship was going smoothly. But neither of them were really ready for anything drastic. They were taking it nice and easy and loved it.
By now it'd been a full year since Temperance Brennan's death. Booth still recieved physical therapy for his arm, still saw Dr. Wyatt, still wrote books, still did his job and Brennan's job, still had time for his son. It was almost as if nothing had changed except for the fact that Brennan was gone and drastic things had taken place. Both good and bad. And for that, he thanked Temperance. For everything that had happened, both the good and bad, he thanked her. He realized then that she wasn't just his guardian angel. She was all of theirs. That was the only explaination and Booth chose to believe it.
They all did.
Temperance Brennan may not have been with them in the body, but she was still with them. Whether it be in spirit, heart, or mind was each person's perrogative. But the fact of the matter was that she was still there with them. And it didn't matter what anybody else thought. She was there. With her team, with her fans...with everybody who ever knew who she was and what she did.
For that, Seeley Booth was grateful.
The LONGEST oneshot I have ever written and probably one of the saddest.
This is inspired by the song "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap and if you haven't read otownsangel's story, "Shortly Before the End", it's fantastic. Very good. And for those of you who have and have also seen her video on YouTube, swear to God, I'm not trying to copy her or anything, I'm just enthralled with this song and you can do so many tragedy fics with that song. For those of you who haven't seen her video, check it out. Title's the title of the song and under Bones.
JayJay