Title: Excuses

Genre: Romance/General

Words count: 522

Pairing: Tsuzuki/Hisoka

Warnings: Shounen-ai, Psychology (believe me, there are people who get freaked out by this)

A/N: I've written this late at night (okay, not that late. It was only 23 pm, but I only had 4 hours of sleep the night previously and I had to shop with my brothers all day, so I was really tired.) I personally think it's a little confusing at times, but I had this in my head and I just had to write it. I don't know if it matters a lot, since this doesn't really fit into any time-line, but I've only read the first three volumes and watched the anime. I'm still saving to buy the rest, but buying manga isn't very easy in the Netherlands, so I have to wait till they ship it from America or England.

Excuses are easily made, as Hisoka knows all too well. Excuses are made for the simple little things, like staying up late or eating too much sugar. But also for things that are important to you or to someone else. Things that you can't bring yourself to do, or things you don't dare hopefor. That's why he answers with an excuse every time someone asks him if he loves Tsuzuki, or why he doesn't.

He doesn't know why he makes those excuses. Maybe it is because he doesn't dare to let anyone get close to him for the very simple reason that he doesn't dare to trust other people. Maybe it is because he thinks Tsuzuki can never love someone like him. But deep down, he knows that's not what's keeping him from admitting the truth. The very simple truth: he does love Tsuzuki; he's just too scared of what will happen when he admits it.

Excuses start with a truth. Let's say that the truth is a square piece of paper, excuses are made because someone wants to change the truth, turning the square piece of paper into a circle. This happens over and over again, the circle turning into a square again and then, turning back into a circle. But you will have to cut of pieces of paper to change the shape. And there will come a time you run out of paper, or the paper isn't big enough to be changed into a new shape anymore. Just as one day, inevitably, you'll run out of excuses.

The only real question is when this will happen. It's really basic math, Hisoka believes. The more you use excuses, the sooner you'll run out of them. You can't change the facts, and the only thing you can do then, is admit the truth.

And one day, Tsuzuki decides to ask Hisoka in his usual smooth and subtle way, "Do you love me?". Hisoka decides to answer in an equally smooth and subtle way, and simply says, "Yes."

He discovers that things are a lot easier from then on because he doesn't have to make excuses anymore every time somebody asks him about it. And, perhaps the best thing about it, he can kiss Tsuzuki whenever he likes and knows that the purple eyed Shinigami loves him as well. Life and death can be equally cruel, but death is a much more sweet when it comes to love, because you can wish to stay together forever and see that wish being fulfilled.

One thing he learned is that it's better not to wait until you're ready to take the first step. It's better to just throw yourself into things that you know you're not ready for, but things you also know you want more than live itself. If you wait until you're ready you will scare yourself out of ever doing it and never take the first step in the end. And when Tsuzuki pulls him into a tight embrace late at night when they're both lying comfortably in the bed, he truly realizes what a terrible waste that would've been.

A/N: Hope you liked it! A lot of thanks to my beta Airenko, for adding very useful comments to this story in an attempt to learn me some things about English. Thanks to her I finally get the difference between then and than. I always used to mix those up Reviews are much appreciated, but if you don't want to it's not necessary.