We the Marauders do solemnly swear

(Padfoot: That Wormtail is gay

Wormtail: AM NOT!)

A/N: Okay I'd thought I'd try something a little different, something I've never done before but will thoroughly enjoy writing. Yes I know it's been done so many times before but its fun. Hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 1: Mr Bumpy

First lesson

Transfigurations

Fourth year

Moony: Prongs are you paying attention?

Prongs: More than Padfoot is…

Padfoot: Snoring lightly

Moony: hits Padfoot round the back of the head with a book Wake up you idiot!

Padfoot: Hey that's harsh! I'm not an idiot nurses bump on head Oh no, no I'm deformed! WHY MOONY! WHY!?!

Moony: You'll get over it

Prongs: Bumpy is a good look for you Pads,

Padfoot: Well you know, I can make anything work

Wormtail: sniggers hee hee Mr Bumpy

Padfoot: Oh no

Prongs: What?

Padfoot: Something terrible is about to happen

Prongs: WHAT?

Padfoot: God there's no need to shout! Minnie's coming over

Prongs: lets off sigh of relief Ohhhh okay, I thought you meant something serious.

Padfoot: For God Sake Prongs hide the note

Five minutes later

Padfoot: Phew, that was close

Moony: Something strange has happened…Padfoot actually tried to stop himself getting detention.

Padfoot: I can't have a detention! I have a date tonight…

Prongs: oooh, with who?

Padfoot: Erm…Ebony Blackburn, in Hufflepuff…

Moony: Take it you've grown bored of Ravenclaw girls

Padfoot: It's hard not to get bored when all they talk abut is class, and when they're not talking about class they're asking questions that I don't know the answer to

Moony: Personally I find them intellectually stimulating

Prongs: Stimulating eh?

Moony: Trust you to pick out the one word in that entire conversation with sexual connotations

Prongs: shrugs It's what I do

Moony: And you wonder why Lily won't go out with you

Prongs: Leaves the conversation

Padfoot: Yay! We can stay stuff behind his back

Prongs: I'm sitting right next to you Padfoot, I can read everything you're writing

Padfoot: I thought you'd left!

Prongs: rolls eyes I haven't left the room

Padfoot: oh…

Moony: What's Wormtail doing?

Prongs: I don't think I want to know…

Padfoot: He's…taking notes

Prongs: The end is nigh!

Padfoot: The chocolate has ran out!

Moony: Hell hath frozen over! re reads Padfoot's comment hold on…in this dire situation the only thing you can think about is chocolate?

Padfoot: What can I say? I'm complex

Moony: Not how I would've put it to be honest

Padfoot: HMPH!

Moony: What's that supposed to mean?

Padfoot: It's just a sound

Prongs: Erm…you wrote it down…it didn't make any noise

Padfoot: HMPH!