MISSING SCENES FROM STARSKY'S LADY

A/N: This is a series of missing scenes that I think should have been included in this episode. This story is told from Starsky, Hutch and Terri's POV.

This story was beta read by ProvencePuss. Thanks for the great work and support.

(STARSKY'S POV)

I grinned at my reflection in the mirror as I finished running a brush through my unruly curls. Satisfied with my appearance, I left the bathroom and grabbed my leather jacket off the bed. I had told Terri that I would pick her up at seven-thirty and I was looking forward to the evening.

I had met Terri Roberts three weeks ago when Hutch and I had gone to the school for Mentally Challenged students where she was a teacher. A girl that Hutch and I both knew named Lisa was a student there and we had promised to come and talk to her class about personal safety. Lisa had been brutally raped on her way to the downtown Library and the man who hurt her almost got away with it because the judge questioned Lisa's competency as a witness. Hutch and I hoped that by talking to her classmates, we could prevent the same thing from happening to one of them.

Unfortunately, we had both seen this sort of thing happen with other mentally challenged people. It was so easy to take advantage of them and they were the ones who got used and hurt. Not only by the people who victimized them but then by the system that was supposed to protect them. Lisa was still receiving intensive counseling to help her deal with her ordeal.

I noticed the pretty young teacher with the softly curling brown hair and sparkling blue eyes almost immediately. She was tall and slender and you could tell from the way she interacted with the children that she really cared about them. After speaking to the class, I made a point of introducing myself to her. We hit it off right away and I left the school with a date for that same evening. We had been seeing each other ever since.

Terri was warm, friendly and fun to be with. She was also a very smart lady. She had a Master's degree specializing in working with disabled children. She made me feel good and best of all, she accepted my crazy hours at work. I knew she would understand if I had to cancel a date at the last minute because something came up. She was as passionate about her job as I was about mine, so she understood that being a cop was a big part of who I was.

And even better than that, she hit it off with Hutch right away. That was a definite plus. I'd had other girlfriends in the past who had been jealous of my close relationship with my partner and best friend, but not Terri. And Hutch liked her too. Everything about our relationship seemed perfect. I already knew that I was falling for her and falling hard. This could be it. She could be the one I was meant to spend the rest of my life with, the mother of my children. I could feel it.

(TERRI'S POV)

I gently smoothed down the skirt on my best blue dress and put the final touches on my makeup. Dave would be here soon and I couldn't wait to see him even though we'd spent the previous night together, cradled in each other's arms. I blushed as I remembered how gentle and loving he had been making me feel like I was the center of his world. I had never had any man treat me the way Dave did.

Don't get me wrong. I've had my share of boyfriends in the past and even a couple of pretty serious relationships but nothing seemed to work out the way things were working out between me and Dave. He was funny, he was cute, he was sexy and he always made me feel special. I had it bad and I knew it. I had never been happier in my life and I was positive he felt the same way. We were taking it slow but I was pretty sure this was it. I had finally found my soul mate.

Sometimes I worried because of his job but I never let him know that. He loved his job as much as I loved mine. I accepted that. Besides, I knew he had Hutch by his side keeping him safe and protecting him. I knew that Hutch loved Dave almost as much as I did. I trusted Hutch with all my heart to take care of him. Dave never talked much about his job. I knew he didn't want to scare me with any of the close calls he had out there on the streets. I could accept that as long as I knew he would be coming home safe at night.

We'd only been seeing each other for a few weeks but I already felt as if I had known him for a lifetime. Last night, he had even talked about taking me to New York to meet his mother and his brother. He had told me how his mother had sent him to California to live with his Aunt and his Uncle when he was only thirteen to keep him from getting in with the wrong crowd back home. I had to respect his mother for making such a difficult decision. It must have broken her heart. I was looking forward to meeting her.

I felt a thrill of excitement sweep through me when I heard the doorbell ring. He was here! Feeling like a teenager on her first date instead of a twenty-eight year old woman, I hurried to get the door. David smiled that crooked smile that I had come to love and pulled me into his arms as he stepped into my apartment, closing the door with his foot. I felt myself melting in his embrace as he kissed me. I was where I belonged in the arms of the man I was falling in love with. Nothing could destroy the happiness I was feeling right now.

(HUTCH'S POV)

I smiled to myself as I watched Starsky taking a break from the basketball game with the kids. He was talking to Terri and you could just see the love on his face when he looked at her. I was happy for my partner. He seemed to have finally found the woman for him. I knew it was only a matter of time before he asked her to marry him.

I really liked Terri. She was the perfect woman for Starsky. Her calm, soothing influence tempered his more volatile nature. She brought out a side of Starsky that few people ever had the privilege of seeing, the gentle loving side that was fiercely loyal and protective with the people he loved. Starsky didn't give his heart away easily but when he did, it was for life. I felt honored to be one of few people that could say that I held a place in that big heart of my partner.

I knew how much Starsky wanted a family and kids, the little house with the white picket fence. The American dream. And if anyone deserved that kind of happiness, Starsky did. I was happy for him and I was happy for Terri.

We had become close friends since she started seeing Starsky and she had become like a little sister to me. She was one of the few women who had ever understood and accepted the relationship between me and Starsky. That made her a very special lady in my book. More than once, she had insisted that they include me on one of their dates when she found out I didn't have plans of my own for evening. Not many women would do that.

Starsky and I had to leave the game early and get to work. That was another thing about Terri. She accepted the crazy hours we worked and the split shifts. She never got upset or angry when Starsky had to cancel their plans at the last minute. She had everything it took to be a cop's wife. I knew that Starsky was truly blessed to have found her.

Starsky and I spent most of the afternoon trying to get a lead on a gang of men who had been robbing little mom and pop stores and carry-outs in our district. So far the only lead we had was that it was two men, one middle-aged and one older. We had just returned to the station and were on our way upstairs to the squad room when a uniformed officer at the front desk stopped us and told us they had just gotten a report of a robbery in progress that sounded like our men. I saw Starsky's face turn pale when he realized the address was just around the corner from Terri's apartment, a store that she went to every night to buy a jug of milk and a newspaper.

We raced to the scene. There were already three squad cars there and an ambulance. The scene inside the store was one of controlled chaos. I could see the paramedics caring for someone lying on a stretcher.

"Who's in charge here?" I growled

"I am." said a large man with a mustache. His eyes were fixed on the stretcher. "They didn't even take the money. They just shot her." He said "I don't know why…just meanness I guess."

For the first time, I focused on the face of the woman lying on the stretcher. I felt my heart twist in my chest when I realized it was Terri. Starsky was kneeling beside the stretcher, talking to her in soft, quiet voice. I could hear him begging her to hold on, to just hold on, that she was going to be okay. I felt a sickening lurch in my stomach when one of the paramedics said that he thought she had a bullet in her head. She was conscious, obviously in pain and very frightened.

I reached out and clutched Starsky's shoulder, squeezing gently to let him know that I was there. Ignoring the store owner, I barked at one of the uniformed officers at the scene to wrap things up there and get statements, as I followed Starsky and the stretcher out to the waiting ambulance. Starsky needed to be with Terri right now. The rest could wait. He climbed into the back of the ambulance with Terri while I climbed into the Torino to follow them to the hospital.

At the emergency room, Terri was whisked away to be treated and Starsky was banished to a nearby waiting room. I could tell he was upset and scared. I tried to comfort him as best I could as he sat down to wait for news. I wanted to stay there with him but I knew I had to follow up on the shooting and see if there were any clues to help us nail the men behind this. After making sure he would be okay by himself for awhile, I left and went back to headquarters.

(STARSKY'S POV)

I sat on the imitation leather sofa in the waiting room and tried to control the frantic pounding of my heart. It had been hours since they had taken Terri away and I still hadn't heard any news on her condition. I prayed to God that she would be all right. I couldn't lose her, not now. Not like this. I had never been more afraid in my life except for the times when it was Hutch who was hurt.

I was glancing through a magazine without really seeing the print on the pages when Hutch came down the hallway. I felt a surge of relief at seeing him. At least now I wouldn't have to wait alone.

"Hey." He said gently

"Hey," I replied "Where you been? Working?"

"Yeah. The lab boys pulled a partial thumb print off the register."

"What good is a fucking partial print gonna be?" I growled, my mind more on Terri than on the case.

"Maybe nothing. Maybe everything if I'm right." Hutch said

"Right? About what?"

"Think about it, Starsky." He said carefully "What are the odds of your girl going into that store and being shot by the same guys we're after?"

"Are you trying to say that somebody's out to get to me by hurting Terri?" I asked in a stunned voice. I felt a cold fear clutch at my heart. I had been so upset that was one scenario I had not considered. Before we could continue our conversation, we were joined by an attractive Oriental woman dressed in a white smock.

"You're David." She said in a pleasant voice. "I'm Doctor Quo. You can see Terri now and then after we'll talk."

"Is she going to be all right?" I asked, fighting the fear that wanted to overwhelm me.

"See her first." The doctor said evasively "She's going to need your strength for a decision she has to make."

"What kind of a decision?" I asked in a worried voice, my fear escalating.

"See her first. After, we'll talk." The doctor said "Room 612."

"Go on." Hutch said, "You don't wanna keep her waiting."

I nodded as I hurried down the hall to find Terri's room and see for myself that she was still alive. I paused outside of room 612 and took a deep breath to calm my ragged nerves. I needed to be strong for Terri. I couldn't let her see how frightened I was. Slowly, I pushed open the door and entered the room.

Terri was lying on the bed, dressed in a white gown with a bandage wrapped around her forehead. She seemed to be sleeping and I didn't want to disturb her. I quietly slipped up to her side and sat down in the chair beside the bed. As I touched the back of her hand, her eyes fluttered and opened.

"Hey…" she said weakly. "You okay?"

I couldn't help smiling. That was so much like Terri. Concerned about me when she was the one that was hurt. "Haven't you got that backwards?" I teased her lightly "You're the one who's hurt."

"I love you." She whispered, saying those special three words for the first time. I felt my heart twist with pain as I tried to hold back the tears that suddenly filled my eyes.

"Tell Sally to keep working with the pom poms, okay?" she said, referring to one of her students that Terri had been spending extra time with to try and bring out of her shell.

"You can tell her." I said quietly, holding her hand securely as I looked deeply into her eyes.

"It's really important. She's just starting to come out of her shell. You can't let her slip back in now."

"The doctor said you have to make a decision."

"I have to make it alone." She said in a barely audible voice, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Any decision you make affects us both. Why don't you let me help you make it?" I said, feeling the fear rising up inside of me again at her words.

"Please…" she said, pleading with her eyes for me to understand and accept her choice. It was the hardest thing I had ever done but I finally nodded my head, agreeing to her terms. I lifted her hand and gently kissed it, giving her a crooked smile.

She smiled back, her lashes wet with her tears. Whatever decision she had to make, I knew it was one I wasn't going to like. I stood up and leaned over the bed to give her a long, slow, lingering kiss. She smiled and cupped her hand against the side of my face when I pulled away. I could see the love shining in her eyes and I knew she could see my love reflected in my face. Turning, I slowly left the room to go and talk to the doctor.

(TERRI'S POV)

I watched as the door closed behind David before finally letting the tears fall down my face. The doctor had told me that I was going to die. The only question was how soon. They couldn't operate to remove the bullet without killing me and it would eventually shift and kill me. Either way, I was going to die. It was my decision as to how soon. If I stayed in bed, flat on my back without moving around, I could live up to a year, maybe even longer. But, if I chose to get up and live my life the way I always had, I could die tomorrow. The decision was up to me and it was a choice I knew I had to make alone. This was something I couldn't share with David, even if I wanted to.

I also knew that I could never tell David what the man who shot me had said just before he pulled the trigger. This is for Starsky. May he rot in hell. I knew those words would tear him apart if he knew. I didn't know how the man had known about me and David but he had.

I was so scared. I didn't want to die. Especially now. All my plans, my dreams for my future, a future with David, were gone. Which would be worse? Spending what little time I had left in a hospital bed flat on my back and being able to have more time with the man I loved, or going back to my life and living what little time I had left to the fullest with the man I loved? I loved David with all my heart. I couldn't sentence him to months of waiting for me to die, watching me slip away from him. That wouldn't be fair to either one of us. In the end, he would grieve even more if I allowed that to happen. I already knew in my heart what my choice had to be.

I smiled faintly. Everyone had always told me that I had a deep inner strength that saw me through the worst times of my life. But, I had never expected my life to end like this. There were things I had to do before the end of my time here on Earth. I had to help David accept the inevitable, to accept the fact that I was going to die and there wasn't anything either one of us could do about it. The Doctor had said she would seek a second opinion from the best brain surgeons in the country but she held out little hope of their diagnosis being any different from hers. A tiny piece of metal lodged in my brain was going to be the cause of my death.

I lay there for a long time crying. For myself, for my family and for David. Bitter tears for a future that I no longer had. I had always had a strong faith in God and I knew he had his reasons for allowing this to happen but it just seemed so unfair. But then whoever said that life was supposed to be fair?

(HUTCH'S POV)

As long as I live, I will never forget the look on Starsky's face when the doctor told him that Terri was going to die, it was just a question of when. His grief and his pain were etched deeply on his face and in his eyes. He was barely holding himself together. I wanted to help him, to comfort him, but I didn't know how. I was hurting as much as he was at the thought of losing a very special lady.

It's funny. You always believe that doctors can do anything and then you find out that they can't. They're human just like the rest of us. And sometimes, people like Terri die in spite of their best efforts to save them. I slung an arm around Starsky's shoulders as we left the hospital together.

"Give me your keys. I'll drive." I said, mildly surprised when he gave in without an argument. He was quiet and withdrawn, lost in his own thoughts as I drove towards his apartment. He was in no condition to go to work and neither was I. When we reached his place, I ordered a pizza while Starsky went into his bedroom and closed the door. I respected his need to be alone and didn't disturb him until after the pizza arrived.

Walking to his bedroom door, I knocked lightly and then opened the door to tell him that the pizza was there. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, his face wet with tears, staring at a tiny black velvet box he was holding in his hands. I caught my breath sharply and waited for him to notice me.

"I was going to give it to her last night." he mumbled without looking up. "Talk about lousy timing, huh?"

I could hear the strain in his voice and knew he was struggling to keep his emotions under control. I didn't know what to say. What could I say? I'm sorry sounded so damn lame. Finally, I just sat down on the bed beside him and put my arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. He leaned against me and rested his head on my shoulder, giving in to the physical and mental exhaustion that was overwhelming him.

"You hungry?" I asked quietly after a few minutes.

"No." he mumbled

"Come on, Starsk. You have to eat something. Terri needs you to keep your strength up."

"Yeah," he said with a heavy sigh. He moved away and pushed himself to his feet. I followed him into the living room where we settled down on the sofa to eat.

(STARSKY'S POV)

Terri was going to die. Terri was going to die. My Terri was going to die. The thought kept running through my mind like a broken record. I closed my eyes and tried to focus my thoughts on something else but it was hopeless. All I could see was Terri's face.

My sweet, beautiful, gentle Terri was going to die and there wasn't anything anybody could do about it. Doctor Quo told me she was sending Terri's X-rays and medical records to a specialist in New York for a second opinion. All I could do was pray that he would have better news about Terri's condition and would prove the doctors here wrong.

There was still hope. I had to keep that in mind. It was all I had left.

I let Hutch drive when we left the hospital. I knew that shocked the hell out of him since I seldom let him drive my baby but my mind was on other things. As Hutch drove back to my place, I kept seeing these billboards along the street advertising funeral parlors. It gave me the creeps. I guess they've always been there, I just never had any reason to notice them before. I felt a lump lodged in my throat that made it hard to breathe and a pain in my chest that wouldn't go away.

When we got back to my place, Hutch decided to order a pizza even though the last thing on my mind was eating. I went into my bedroom and closed the door. I needed to be alone for a little while. I opened the top drawer to my dresser and reached underneath a neat stack of tee shirts to where I had hidden the tiny black velvet box.

Sitting down on the edge of my bed, I bowed my head and stared at the box in my hand. Inside was the engagement ring that I had planned to give Terri last night after taking her out to dinner. I was going to ask her to marry me. Now that dream was going to die along with Terri. I knew I would never find another woman like her, not in this lifetime anyway.

I smiled bitterly and found myself wondering what was wrong with me? Why couldn't I find a woman to love and share my life with? Was that too much to ask? Then, when I did find her, why did she have to die? I felt a chill run down my spine. What if Hutch was right? What if Terri had been shot because of me? How was I supposed to live with that kind of guilt? There were no easy answers to any of the questions that kept running through my head.

I heard the light tap on the door but I ignored it. I knew it was Hutch. The door opened and Hutch came into the room. He didn't say anything, he just sat down on the bed beside me and put his arm around my shoulders pulling me close to his side. I leaned against him and let my head rest on his shoulder as the tears flooded my eyes. I choked back a sob. I wasn't ashamed of showing my feelings in front of Hutch. I knew he understood.

"You hungry?" Hutch asked in that gentle voice he reserved just for me when I was hurting and in pain.

"No." I mumbled. The thought of food made me feel nauseous.

"Come on, Starsk. You have to eat something."

"Yeah," I muttered, raising my head and moving away from his side. I stood up and walked out of my bedroom with Hutch right behind me. I slouched down on the sofa while Hutch got two beers out of the fridge. Handing me one, he settled down on the sofa beside me and we started to eat but I don't think either one of us had much of an appetite.

Hutch stayed at my place that night, sleeping on the couch while I lay awake on my empty bed, staring into the darkness and dealing with my own demons. I could smell the scent of Terri's perfume clinging to the pillowcase beneath my head as I let the tears flow down my face.

The next morning, I drove to the hospital before we headed for work so I could check on Terri. I was startled but not really surprised, to find her sitting on her bed, dressed as if she were ready to leave.

"It looks like you made your decision." I said, trying to keep my voice level and calm.

"The doctor said I can go home." She said "I was just waiting on you." She stood up and took a step towards me, reaching out to run her fingertips down my cheek. "The doctor said it was either stay in that bed or be with my best friend." She whispered with a soft smile that broke my heart. "It wasn't a hard decision to make."

I pulled the bouquet of roses out from behind my back where I had been hiding them and looked deeply into her eyes. "Marry me." I whispered.

Terri looked back at me, her eyes filled with love as she gently brushed her lips against my mouth. "Take me home." She said without answering my question. I slipped my arm around her waist as we walked out of the room together.

Hutch was waiting in the hallway. He smiled warmly when he saw Terri and we exchanged a long glance. This was her decision and we had to abide by it. The three of us walked out of the hospital together and climbed into the front seat of my car with Terri sitting in the middle between me and Hutch.

I started driving slowly towards Terri's apartment, trying not to think about the consequences of her decision. Terri and Hutch were joking between themselves, teasing me about driving so slowly. Terri pointedly told me that while she appreciated my caution, it was a constant reminder of her condition and that was the last thing she wanted. She didn't want to be pitied or to have anyone feel sorry for her. She hated that as much as I did. When we dropped her off at her apartment, I walked her to her door and kissed her goodbye, promising to stop back after work.

(TERRY'S POV)

I saw the look in David's eyes when he realized I'd made my choice. I had chose to live whatever remained of my life on my terms, doing the things I loved with the man I loved. I felt my heart break when he pulled out the beautiful bouquet of roses from behind his back and held them out to me. As I reached for them, he looked deeply into my eyes and whispered, "Marry me."

As much as I loved him, that's the one thing I knew I couldn't do. I couldn't marry the man I loved with all my heart. He looked so hopeful and so desperate that I wanted to cry. Instead, I pasted a smile on my face as I brushed my lips against his and said, "Take me home."

Nodding, he smiled sadly and slipped his arm around my waist, guiding me out of the room as if I were a china doll made of the finest porcelain. Hutch was waiting in the hallway. I pretended not to notice the glance the two of them exchanged when Hutch saw me walk out of that room with David.

Hutch and I teased David about what he called his 'compromise speed' as he drove me to my apartment. I didn't want him or Hutch feeling sorry for me or pitying me. This was hard enough for all of us as it was. I had to stay positive and help David as much as I could. He walked me to my door and kissed me goodbye, promising to stop back as soon as he got off duty. I stood there and watched him walk back to his car and drive away before unlocking my door and going inside.

I looked around my apartment. This had been my home for a long time and held so many memories of happier times. I unlocked my desk and took out a file where I kept my personal papers. My life insurance policy and health insurance was all up to date. And I planned to call a funeral home to make my final arrangements. I had to call my parents. It was a call I didn't want to make but they needed to hear the news from me, not from someone else after I was gone. I needed to call my landlord too and arrange for someone to dispose of my things after I was gone, that was one less thing I didn't want my family to have to worry about. I had plenty to keep me busy for the next few days.

(HUTCH'S POV)

Before going to headquarters, I told Starsky to swing by my place for a minute. We were both startled to find Huggy Bear sitting on my sofa, holding a bag of ice against his swollen cheek.

"Excuse me for letting myself in." Huggy said "But it's unhealthy on the streets to be friends with Starsky and Hutch."

"Did you get the number of the truck that hit you?" I asked our black friend, as I went into the kitchen to make some coffee.

"Well, I wasn't supposed to know with their ski masks and all, but I'm sure that one of the two goons that found me at a certain young ladies abode this morning was Crazy George Prudholm."

"Prudholm?" Starsky exclaimed in a loud voice.

"Yeah, he made sure and tell me that it wasn't healthy being friends with Starsky and Hutch and he said that the next time, they'd do me like they did your girl." Huggy said. I watched Starsky's eyes darken with rage. George Prudholm was a creep who had killed two cops three years ago trying to get to Starsky. We had arrested his son, who was knifed in a fight in jail shortly afterwards, and Prudholm blamed Starsky for his son's death. We had arrested him and he had been sent away but somehow he had gotten out and was after Starsky again.

After making sure Huggy was okay, we rushed to headquarters and checked in with Captain Dobey who confirmed Huggy's suspicions. The partial print found at the scene where Terri was shot matched one of George Prudholm's prints.

"That flake is supposed to be at Cabrillo State!" Starsky snarled. "That's a maximum security hospital for the criminally insane! How the hell did he get out?"

"He just walked away. It was clerical error." Dobey said, "The hospital thought he'd been sent back to prison and the prison…"

"Thought he was still in the hospital." Starsky finished the sentence for him. "Terrific! Thanks to somebody's fuck up, the lady I love is walking around with a bullet in her head that's gonna kill her!"

"I know that!" Dobey snapped gruffly. "I've got an APB out on Prudholm and every officer in the city is looking for him." He looked at Starsky solemnly. "Starsky, I'm putting you a leave of absence until we catch this psycho."

"No way, Captain!" Starsky growled, his eyes narrowing with determination. "This sucker is mine! I'm not going hide from him! I'm the one he wants and I'm gonna make it easy for him to find me!" Starsky slammed out of the office before the Captain could reply.

Dobey frowned at me darkly. "Well, don't just stand there!" he growled, "Go after that hot headed partner of yours before he does something stupid!"

I didn't need to be told twice. I hurried out of the office to find my partner. I found Starsky kicking the candy machine in the hallway.

"Hey, don't take it out on the machine." I chided him gently.

"It took my quarter!" he snapped angrily. I knew it wasn't the machine he was really mad at. It was an easy target to vent his frustrations on. I took his arm and led him away so he could cool off. I pulled him into a deserted office and closed the door. He turned on me, his eyes blazing with rage. "Prudholm!" he hissed through tightly clenched teeth. "That bastard doesn't give up, does he?"

"We'll get him, Starsky and this time we'll put him away so far under the jail that he'll never see daylight again!"

I watched the anger drain out of his face to be replaced by a raw pain that was unbearable. In a broken voice, he said, "Why Hutch? Why Terri?"

"I don't know, buddy." I said, watching him carefully. "As crazy as Prudholm is, he doesn't need a reason. You loved her…that made her the perfect way to get back at you."

"Yeah, well it sucks." He muttered sullenly. He looked at me with tears glistening in his eyes. "She didn't do anything to deserve this, Hutch."

"Neither did you, pal. Neither did you." I reassured him. "Come on. Let's hit the streets and find this piece of scum."

"You got it." Starsky said gruffly to hide his emotions.

(STARSKY'S POV)

We didn't have any luck finding Prudholm or his accomplice whom we had finally identified as Woody the Magic Man, an ex-con with a record a mile long. Hutch and I finally called it a day shortly after six pm and I immediately headed for Terri's apartment.

She opened the door with a warm smile and a kiss. I just wanted to stay in her arms forever.

She had prepared us a delicious dinner, including my favorite, Pot roast with vegetables. We talked quietly through our meal, carefully avoiding the one subject that was on both of our minds. Our time left together. After dinner, we spent the rest of the evening cuddling and making love.

Terri scolded me for being so gentle with her, as if I were afraid she'd break. To tell the truth, I was. I was terrified that she'd die in the middle of making love if we got too carried away. I think she realized that because she didn't scold me when I continued to treat her like a fragile piece of glass. She fell asleep cradled in my arms while I lay there and stared into the darkness, wondering how many more nights like this we had together.

The next morning, I know Terri noticed the dark circles under my eyes but she didn't say anything. I gave her a kiss and promised to call her later. Hutch and I were starting our patrol when a call came over the radio to meet one of our snitches. He told us that he knew where Prudholm was holed up at and gave us the address of an old apartment building on Greene Street.

We found the place without any problem and went up to the third floor. Locating the correct room, Hutch knocked on the door and announced us. When there was no reply, he reached out and gently turned the knob. Luckily, he saw the rope rigged at the top of the door before he opened it all the way. We took a position on either side of the door to protect ourselves and Hutch used his foot to open the door. Immediately, there was a loud explosion and a hole the size of a manhole cover appeared in the door.

We jumped into the room which was empty, except for a double barrel shotgun rigged to go off as soon as the door was opened. If we had followed our usual pattern with Hutch going high and me going low when we entered a room, Hutch would be dead right now.

Before we could search the room for any evidence that might help us locate Prudholm, the telephone on the coffee table rang. I grabbed the receiver in time to hear Prudholm's gravelly voice say, "Starsky?"

"Yeah, Prudholm." I growled

"The way I figure it, if you and your partner haven't changed your ways, you went low and Hutchinson went high and now Hutchinson is dead." There was a smug satisfied tone to his voice that set my nerves on edge.

"You're a sick man, Prudholm."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what the courts will say when I turn myself in. But that won't be until after you're dead, Starsky!" There was a sharp click as he hung up in my ear. Hutch and I exchanged a glance. We had to find this jerk before somebody else got hurt because of his vendetta against me.

(TERRI'S POV)

I leaned against the railing and watched Hutch and his girlfriend riding the bumper cars. Dave and I were spending the afternoon with Hutch and Christine at a local amusement park. I glanced at Dave and said, "You could join them. You don't have to stay out here because of me."

"It has nothing to do with you." He said with a crooked smile. "Hutch won't let me out there. He's afraid I'll start driving like that on the street." After a long pause, he added, "I'm gonna quit the force, Terri."

"What?" I said in a stunned voice. "Because of me?"

"Yeah, because of you." He admitted "And because of two cops who died on my account. I became a cop to help people not to have them die because of me."

"You became a cop to help people. Doesn't that mean anything anymore?"

"It used to mean everything. Let's just say I don't wanna pay the price anymore. I can't pay the price anymore." He was so serious. I knew this was bad. I couldn't let him give us something he loved so much because of what had happened to me. I had to find a way to make him understand that wasn't what I wanted. "Look," he said turning to look at me with those beautiful sapphire eyes that still made my stomach do flip flops. "All I want right now is to be with you."

I thought about what he said for several minutes and then looked at him solemnly. "You know what I really want to do right now?" I said

"What?"

"Come on." I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him down the steps to the ground. I led him around the corner of the bumper cars and pointed at a giant slide.

"That's what I really want to do." I told him.

"Come on." He said, starting to turn and walk back to the ride where Hutch was.

"No, that's what I really want to do." I said in a determined voice.

"Are you serious?" he said, looking at me with an exasperated expression on his face.

"I feel like it's really foolish for me to let a little piece of metal in my head, stop me from doing the things I really love to do." I said, pleading with my eyes for him to listen to what I was saying and understand. "Keep me from living my life. Dave, you can't stop living because I do." I saw a flicker of pain cross his face but I knew he heard me and understood what I was trying to tell him.

"How am I gonna deal with you?" he asked lightly

"The same way you always have." I told him with a soft laugh. "Will you take me on that slide? Do you love me that much?"

After a moments hesitation, he reached for my hand. "Come on." He said.

I stopped him before we took two steps. He stopped and looked at me with an arched eyebrow.

"Not now." I said

"Huh?"

"I don't have to anymore. I love you that much." We looked at each other then leaned into a tender kiss, a silent promise between ourselves. Joining hands, we walked back over to wait for Hutch and Christine.

(STARSKY'S POV)

I laughed as I watched Hutch dodge a basketball thrown by one of the kids in Terri's class. We were playing our usual weekly game with the kids at the school where Terri worked but my attention was divided between the game and keeping an eye on Terri. It had been almost a week since she left the hospital. In many ways, it had been both the best week of my life and the worst. Terri and I had spent every minute we possibly could together and in my heart, I knew that each day could be our last one together. That was tearing me apart inside but I tried to keep my pain and my fear from Terri. But, I knew that she knew how I felt because she felt the same way.

Stealing a glance in her direction, I saw her slump down at the picnic table. Something about her position sent warning signals screaming through me. I quickly left the game and hurried to her side.

"Honey?" I said gently, reaching out for her.

"Dave?" she said in a questioning voice that scared the hell out of me.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Dave, I can't see." She whispered in a tiny frightened voice. I felt as if someone had plunged a knife deep into my heart. I sank down on the bench beside her and put my arm around her shoulder.

"We'll get you to the hospital." I said, trying to keep my own fear from showing in my voice.

"Don't scare the children." She said, her first concern being for the children under her care. I gently eased her to her feet and kept my arm wrapped around her waist as I guided her across the schoolyard towards the parking lot. I noticed Hutch pausing to watch us, a worried look on his face. He gently distracted the children as I led Terri away.

I helped her into the car and slid underneath the wheel, fumbling with the key as I tried to fit it in the ignition. I was scared to death. This was it. I knew the bullet had shifted. Terri scooted across the seat so she was sitting right beside me and rested her head on my shoulder as I tore out of the parking lot. I used the light and the siren to clear the way as I rushed her to the hospital, praying all the way that God would spare her just a little while longer. I wasn't ready to let her go. Not yet.

At the hospital, she was immediately taken away and I was forced to wait once more for news on her condition. My heart was pounding frantically and my hands felt cold and clammy. I couldn't lose her. I didn't know how to live without her. Finally, Doctor Quo came out of her room, the same room she had been in the last time.

I knew immediately even before the doctor spoke that she was going to tell me the one thing I didn't want to hear.

"I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do." The doctor said gently, her eyes filled with compassion and sympathy.

"How long?" I forced myself to ask, struggling to force the words out past the lump in my throat.

"Anytime now." She said, slowly turning and walking away. I bowed my head and prayed for the strength to get through this without breaking down entirely. I wasn't sure if I could. My heart already felt like it was being ripped apart inside my chest. I took a deep breath to steady myself before going into her room.

Terri was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. As I leaned over her, she smiled and said, "Hey, best friend."

"You can see." I said in a stunned voice

"Doctor Quo said I could expect it to come and go." She said in a weak trembling voice. As I sank down in the chair beside the bed and gently clasped her hand in mine, she asked, "How long have I been here?"

"Three hours. You were out for a long time." I said, hating the quiver I could hear in my voice. "Hutch took the kids back to the school."

"Don't let Sally give up. Okay?"

"I won't." I promised. "I love you." She turned her head to one side and for a second my heart stopped. I thought she was gone. "Terri?" I whispered.

"I'm still here." She whispered in a thick voice. She turned back to look at me, her eyes flooding with tears. "Who won today? Huh?"

"I love you." I repeated "I don't wanna talk about Sally or basketball games…"

"Wanna talk about funerals?" she said, her words ripping my heart apart even more.

"I don't wanna talk about life without you." I said, not caring if she could hear the tears in my voice.

"Don't kid yourself." She said with a sweet gentle smile. "I'm not giving you up so easily. I'll always be there when you need me." I saw her bottom lip quiver. "You're scared. Your whole world feels like it's falling apart." She looked deeply into my eyes. "But some dark night when you're all alone, just close your eyes and try to remember me. I'll always be there. I'll be waiting." All I could do was nod. I didn't trust my voice to speak. A part of me was dying with her. "I promise." She added.

"Promises, promises." I said in a broken voice, struggling to hold back my tears.

"Hey, what are best friends for. Dave, hold my hand."

I glanced down at our clasped hands and squeezed hers tightly. She smiled faintly and said in a breathless, barely audible voice. "I love you. I'm not afraid anymore."

I watched as her eyes drifted shut and she let out a long slow breath. That's when I knew she was gone. I gave a strangled cry, partway between a moan and a sob, and buried my face against her side as I wrapped my arm around her waist. I began to cry, my heart shattering into a million tiny pieces. My Terri, the love of my life, was gone.

I have no idea how long I sat there, crying and holding her in my arms. Nobody disturbed me, leaving me alone in my grief and my loss. Then I felt a familiar gentle touch on my shoulder. Forcing myself to raise my head, I looked into Hutch's gentle loving eyes. I let him help me to my feet and lead me from the room. I was numb, too numb to think or feel any longer. He took me home and then stayed with me for the next two days while I shut myself away in my bedroom, lost in my grief and my pain. The third day, I convinced him to go to work. I knew I had to learn to deal with this on my own. Yet, I knew that Hutch was grieving right along with me. He had loved her too.

Prudholm tried pulling another robbery and was trapped when the silent alarm went off. He took hostages and used them to get me to the scene by threatening to kill them unless I came. I had no choice. Hutch and I managed to bring him and his accomplice down. Prudholm tried to bait me, to get me to kill him in cold blood and I wanted to. I had never wanted to kill anyone as much as I wanted to kill that bastard and I barely managed to control myself. But, finally, I pulled him to his feet, refusing to give him what he wanted the most, his blood on my hands.

(HUTCH'S POV)

When Doctor Quo called me and told me that Terri had passed away, I rushed to the hospital to be with Starsky. I found him in Terri's room, still holding her close, his face buried in the covers, his shoulder shaking with his sobs. My own heart felt like it was breaking in two, for my partner and for the love that he had lost. I stepped to his side and gently put my hand on his shoulder.

He raised his head and looked at me, his eyes red and swollen from crying, looking so much like a little boy who didn't understand his own pain. I gently eased him to his feet and led him from the room. I knew he was in shock and needed to rest. I took him back to his apartment and helped him into his bedroom. He immediately threw himself down across the bed and pulled one of his pillows in his arms, burying his face against the pillowcase as he began to cry again. I backed out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him. I knew he needed to be alone right now but I didn't plan on going far. I stayed with him for the next two days, while he refused to leave his bedroom, lost in his grief and his loss.

It was three days before Starsky started to make an attempt to rejoin the land of the living. He convinced me to go back to work, assuring me that he would be okay on his own. I didn't want to leave him but I knew I had to give him this time alone so he could start to heal.

We finally caught Prudholm and Woody the Magic Man. He had taken hostages in a botched robbery and used them to try and get Starsky one last time. He did everything he could to goad Starsky into killing him. For a minute, I was terrified that Starsky was going to do what Prudholm wanted but then he regained control of himself and pulled Prudholm to his feet, turning him over to other officers on the scene before breaking down into tears once more. I shielded him from prying eyes as I helped him out of the building and into the car to take him home.

Six days after her death, Terri's funeral was held in the funeral home where she had made arrangements before her death. Her parents, her sister, and her two brothers were there along with their wives and their children. Most of the students and teachers from the school where she had worked were there too. Captain Dobey was there along with me and with Starsky. Starsky had asked the family permission to say a few words and they had graciously agreed, even though their own grief was evident on their faces.

I watched him carefully, ready to intervene if needed, as he slowly walked to the front of the room to stand by the simple cream colored casket. Terri looked so beautiful and so peaceful. An angel taken from those who had loved her much too soon.

As Starsky began to speak, he kept his eyes focused on Terri's face, knowing this was the last time he would ever see her, at least in this life. His voice trembled with emotion but was strong and clear, "I loved Terri more than anything in this world. I wanted to marry her, to make her my wife and the mother of my children. She was so special to everyone who knew her and loved her. I will have to live the rest of my life knowing that she died because of a sick man who wanted revenge on me…just because I was a cop. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to live with that kind of guilt but that's the cross I will have to bear. I will never love another woman the way I loved Terri and I pray that someday we will be re-united in heaven." Starsky paused for a moment to gather his thoughts and get his emotions under control, then he continued. "I wanted to quit…to not be a cop anymore because of what happened. But Terri told me that I couldn't stop living just because she did. So, I will try to honor her memory by going on with my life but I will never forget her or stop loving her." He bent down and gave her one final kiss, before straightening his shoulders and moving stiffly back to his seat.

I was proud of him for having the courage to reveal so much of himself to a roomful of people that included Terri's immediate family. I knew he was still torn up inside and filled with guilt over her death. And that was something he may never get over but maybe he could at least learn to live with it. I slipped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close, not carrying what anyone else in the room thought about my actions. He was in pain and my first instinct was to protect and to comfort him.

EPILOGUE (STARSKY'S POV)

I listened as Hutch read the note Terri had left him along with Ollie, her teddy bear. "Dearest Hutch, to you I entrust Ollie and Dave. Love them both and don't ever let either one of them change. Terri. I looked at Hutch, my eyes burning with tears as I listened to her words from beyond the grave. I knew I would never find another woman like her. I would never love anyone the way I had loved her. It still hurt so much and I missed her so bad but I knew Hutch would always be there to pick me up when I felt like I couldn't go on. And I remembered Terri promise that if I needed her to just close my eyes and she would be there. I knew she would waiting patiently until my time here on Earth was done. Then we could be together again for all eternity.

THE END