Author's Note: Why is it that everyone seems to think that Grimmjaw is some sort of sex god or something? That's all they ever write about! So I wanted to stray from my usual genre of comedy and silliness and write something about him that's totally opposite to whatever everyone thinks. And it's this. Enjoy! Read and review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

If Only They Knew

People looked at Grimmjaw Jaggerjack and saw a sex god.

It was a well-known fact among the inhabitants of Los Noches, and one that Grimmjaw was rather proud of. All the other Arrancar expected him to have scored with dozens, perhaps even hundreds of women, and what was to say about other men? Despite or rather because of their suspicions, everyone regarded the rebellious Espada with a sort of awe, watching him strut his way down the lonely corridors of Aizen's domain, indifference and apathy in his steel blue eyes. What would it be like, to be in his shoes for one day, one night? The other Arrancar couldn't even comprehend it.

And, after all, wasn't he the supreme manifestation, the perfect image of a sex god in material form? Shocking blue hair, chiseled abs, a tall body wired with muscle – what wasn't there to like? Not to mention his bad-ass attitude and constant air of uncouthness that made every Espada meeting teetering on the edge of an all-out brawl. It all added up to one simple formula: Espada plus Overall Bad Attitude minus Conscience multiplied by Good Looks equals Total Smexiness.

Male, and sometimes even female Arrancar, would seek him out and ask his advice on one matter or another, usually about others and how they could coerce them to let them in their pants. Grimmjaw would grin and shake his head, as if the answer were so simple and obvious, tell the horny person the answer, and send them on their merry way. This was a common occurrence for the Sexta Espada, and one he was quite good at. The only person who remained a mystery to Grimmjaw was Ulquiorra, since he was so cold and emotionless that everyone suspected he'd decapitate them on the spot if they so much as winked at him. So everyone just left him alone, Grimmjaw included.

So, all in all, the women adored him, the men wanted to be him. Grimmjaw had it all. The rumors of his exploits floated around the halls of the fortress, theories about his sexual orientation not far behind. Everyone whispered about him, from the other Espada to the Numeros.

Grimmjaw didn't mind the gossip or speculation one bit.

But there was one thing he was damn sure he wanted to keep secret.

There was no way in hell he could ever let anyone know he was actually a virgin.

The End

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

Author's Note: Yep, short and sweet, how I like it. I guess this is a drabble, since it's quite short, which makes this the first one I ever make, huh? Plus it's not all-out comedy, which is what I usually do, so all this is new to me. Oh, well, hope you liked it and found it amusing. I also don't plan to continue this, it was just my irritation at all the Grimmjaw fics with him being a sex fiend. Why can't there be any normal fics about him? Am I asking too much? Review, if you liked it. Later!