Sequel to Growing Pains. This story happened after Growing Pains and Day One: First Contact, and reference will be made to both. Do leave a note if you like it so I know if I should continue...
PK: Thanks for the reminder of maintaining consistency of styles within a series.
Liz: Thanks for liking my previous post. Hope this one's OK too. The plot only modified minimally to suit the style.
Lessons Learnt
By Jolly
CHAPTER 1:
At present, the earlier half of the day:
Joe Hardy leaned against the window of his room in Pan Shifu's house looking down into the beautifully landscaped garden. It was a garden he helped to plan and to create. And it was this garden that he turned to for peace and tranquility that he sorely needed in the past two weeks.
The two weeks he chose to spend at his Shifu's house recovering from his brief sojourn into heroin addiction rather than in a professional detox-center or in his own home. That was the easy part.
He gave his silent thanks to the Lord for letting his Shifu successfully persuade his parents, and Frank, to let him rest and heal here in Red Creek.
It was what he wanted. It was what he needed.
This was where he healed the first time. And here he returned to be healed again.
In the time of emotional turmoil and hurts borne out of his feelings of betrayal from those he loved most, he had seek refuge in that garden he helped build with his own two hands. He sat on the wooden boardwalk that he had painstakingly constructed and polished; and spent hours meditating and gazing into the still waters of the man-made pond. The smooth movements of the colorful carps swimming to and fro about the pond were soothing to his battered spirit and his bruised soul.
Last time, he believed he let his family down.
But this time… this time his family let him down.
And that old hurts that surfaced again at those remembrance.
Frank. It would always come down to Frank. What Frank would do and how Frank would do it.
Why can't they see that he and his brother were different people? Joe wondered despairingly.
A fragment of a memory flashed by: He was sitting in the ice-cream parlor eavesdropping on a conversation between his brother and his parents. They all believed he ran away from home… Worse, Frank believed he ran away from home. His eyes stung. Then they said they weren't out there looking for him because they agreed he would come home when he learnt his lessons and when he was ready…
But he did not run away! He was taken, he was abducted… He remembered that bit far too well. What kind of a son was he that his own brother and parents would believe that he would run away from home for so petty a reason?
Another more recent vision flashed before him: His brother and his parents looking sadly at him, their disappointment in him clear in their eyes. Why did he do that? How could he do that? Their eyes accused him.
Frank would not have… Joe could hear those unsaid words clearly even now. Frank would always do the right thing, and he? He…
Why can't they trust him to do the right thing? Was he that much of a disappointment? Has he been such a hopeless and irresponsible rascal all these years?
His heart cried out at those possibilities. His heart hurts. He silenced his tearing heart ruthlessly. There was little purpose in dwelling on the past. His lips tightened and formed into a grim smile.
He did what he had to. He had no regrets. His family could believe in whatever they wanted to believe in.
Now, he must believe in himself.
But they believed him now… a tiny voice reminded him. They told him so…
Then he hardened his heart. They said that before, but each time, when it came to the crux, they always assumed the worse. He learnt his lessons well indeed.No, he must believe in himself. There was no one else.
Not true, Pan Shifu believed in him. Always have.
His heart lightened and Joe shooed those morose thoughts away. It would do him no good to dwell on them. He had plans to make and things to do. He finished the last bit of his packing. His luggage stood primly by the door. And before him was the portfolio of his best works. He fingered the folio lovingly.
If he could not make a good detective or a good son, at least he knew he make a good artist.
And he would make sure he makes a darn good disciple, Joe vowed as he heard his Shifu coming up the stairs towards his room.
"Joe, 是你大哥打来的电话 (It's your big brother on the phone)." Pan Shifu said to his young disciple as he handed him the cordless phone.
"谢谢, 师傅 (Thank you, Shifu)." Joe replied as he took over the cordless.
"Hey Joe…" Frank's voice sounded a little excited and yet a little hesitant.
Joe felt a little bad about that, but he forced himself to pretend not to notice it.
"Hey Frank…" He returned the greeting in a quiet tone.
There was an awkward silence for a moment.
Finally, Frank spoke. "You're coming home today…"
"Yeah…"
"You want me to go and pick you up?" Joe did not miss that hopeful and needful tone in his big brother's voice.
He ignored it.
"No…" Joe said and quickly added. "Pan Shifu will be dropping me back home just after lunch…"
There was another awkward silence.
"Oh…"
Joe felt a tiny stab of guilt at the degree of disappointment and sadness in Frank's voice imbued into that simple word.
"Joe…"
"Yes?"
"We'll all be waiting for you…"
"Yeah…"
"You'll call if you need anything, won't you."
"Yes, Frank, I will call if I need anything." Joe forced a little lightness into that last bit, not because he felt like it, but because he knew his big brother needed it.
"I'll let mom and dad know that you'll be back after lunch."
"Thanks, Frank."
"I can't wait to see you back home, Joe…"
"Yeah…"
Yet another long pause.
"Bye Joe…"
"Bye."
Joe disconnected the call. But he sat there holding and staring at the cordless for a long time. He wondered if he was doing the right thing.
Yes, I am. He told himself fiercely. I need to find myself. I cannot continue to exist in my brother's shadow… I cannot live that life any more…
With his resolve firmly in place, he picked up his portfolio and his luggage and headed down for a quick lunch with his Shifu.
The master and his disciple had their usual fare; rice with a meat dish and a vegetable dish, washed down with a bowl of steaming hot soup. It was a simple life, but a simple and contented life, Joe thought as he was washing up the dishes.
Once upon a time, he lived for the adrenaline rush of tackling a case and solving a mystery with Frank… he recalled a little wistfully.
Pan Shifu eyed his young disciple surreptitiously. He sighed. His young disciple was not yet fully healed. Wounds of the heart and of the spirit were the hardest to heal, he knew. And Joe's heart had been sorely bruised. However, the youth's spirit though battered was not beaten. Not yet. That was a good sign. The master watched with pride as his disciple worked at beating the odds, throwing off the heroin addiction without the aid of medical drugs, then crawled through his own emotional quagmire to emerge fairly intact with a steely determination to move on with life. But the master knew the boy kept buried deep in his heart, his desire to be accepted as he was by his flesh and blood family. And the master also knew his disciple needed more time.
Joe needed more time and space to re-discover himself.
Would Joe's family give him that time and space to recover? Pan Shifu wondered. Or would they be too lost in their own guilt to notice Joe's needs?
He frowned. He would have to talk to the Hardys about that too…
Soon, it was time to go.
Pan Shifu watched quietly as his disciple took a last glance at the landscape garden that had served as his sanctuary over the last fortnight.
"是你回家的时候 (It's time to go home)." Pan Shifu said to him.
"是的，师傅，是我该回家的时候了 (Yes, Shifu, it's indeed time for me to go home)." He responded.
And then, there was this two hour long journey to that house on the corner of Elm and High Street.
--xxxXXXXXXxxx--
At present, the latter half of the day:
Frank saw Mr. Pan's 4WD turned into the driveway and he quickly rushed down the stairs to the door, to find his mom already there, the front door opened wide and inviting. His dad was just coming out of his study. There was no mistaking the tension amongst the three of them, even as they all had smiles plastered onto their faces. It was the eyes that betrayed them all. Those eyes were dark and deep with fears and regrets.
The homecoming was awkward, as Joe gave each of them a hug. It felt almost requisite rather than loving and spontaneous. Frank felt saddened by that.
"Let me help you with the luggage," Frank offered and felt relief rushed through him when Joe nodded.
So Frank picked up the luggage while Joe grabbed his backpack and a huge portfolio. Together, the brothers made their way up to Joe's room. There, Frank stood silently aside as he watched Joe unpack his stuff.
Neatly. So neatly.
That bothered Frank. His brother had always preferred a cluttered room. Then he realized what was bothering him for the past week. It was the lack of spontaneity. Joe's zest of life; his spontaneity, his vibrancy, his indomitable spirit, were all missing.
This Joe before him was quiet, and cautious. He took time to consider before responding. He took pains to be 'correct'. Frank gasped at the realization. And I did it to him. We, his family, did it to him… Suddenly, Frank felt a little desperate. He wanted Joe back the way he was! Not this reserved and well-behaved person before him...
"Joe, I missed you…"
Joe looked back at him, and gave him a little smile.
"I know…"
'But did you miss me at all?' Frank wanted to ask. He dared not. He feared the answer.
A while later, Joe had everything packed away, and they both headed back down the stairs. They were there just in time to see Mr. Pan and their parents emerging from Fenton's home office. Frank wondered what that was about.
"It's a long drive back, so I should be going," Mr. Pan said as he bid them goodbye.
"Mom, Dad, I'll be seeing Pan Shifu off," Joe informed them politely, and waited for their approval before moving.
And Frank watched sadly as Joe and Mr. Pan walked out of the door.
Then he realized his dad was beckoning him into his personal study and home office. His mom was already there. They both looked a little too tense and grim for his liking. He wondered what was going on. Then he saw the pile of letters and a huge portfolio of artwork on his dad's work table. Those were remarkable work, Frank acknowledged, and he knew they were all Joe's.
"Frank, Mr. Pan was here to talk about opportunities to further develop Joe's artistic talent… a four week stint in a very prestigious Art College in France." Fenton said.
Frank simply stared blankly at his dad for a while.
Joe just got home. And Joe's going to leave?
"But…but… Joe could not afford to miss anymore classes at Bayport High!" Frank spluttered out. "The school board made it clear that if Joe misses any more classes they'd hold him back a year… and we all agreed that that would be bad for Joe's self-esteem and…"
Fenton eyed his eldest for a while, concern clear in his eyes. He wished again that he had been a better father and had noted that his younger son was different and had different needs. And he was now worried about how what he was going to say next might affect Frank.
"Frank," Fenton started a little hesitantly.
"Joe won an all-expense-paid 4-week fellowship to the Ecole Nationale Supérieure des Beaux-arts in Paris." Laura finished up for her husband.
Frank turned his full attention to his mom. He noted his dad was also looking at him rather anxiously.
"And… his classes at Bayport High? They are okay with him going, right?" Frank asked a little dully.
There was a long pause.
"Frank, Joe did not need to graduate from Bayport High." Laura finally added.
"What do you mean?" Frank demanded, even as he watched his dad pass him a very official looking piece of document. He reached out for it, and was surprised to see his normally steady hands shaking a little.
'Cambridge GCE 'A' Levels Examinations Official Results,' the heading on that document read.
Candidate: Joseph P. Hardy
Institution: Red Creek Towers
A Level Subjects:
Grades/Paper
A – Art (Free Form)
A – English Literature (Contemporary and Practical Criticism)
C – Mathematics Syllabus 'D'
Special Papers:
Grades/Paper
A – Art (Free Form) 'S' Paper
B – English Literature (Contemporary) 'S' Paper
A – History (Current Affairs) 'S' Paper
AO Level Subjects:
Grades/Paper
A – General Paper
C – Chinese as a 2nd Language
"When Joe attended that semester at Red Creek Towers; he sat for the Cambridge examinations, Frank…" Fenton paused as he watched comprehension slowly seeped into Frank's eyes. "With this cert. he can apply for college, just that he would be limited in his choice of courses..."
Frank stared at the paper in his hands. He had to admit his brother's grades were good. Not 'perfect' like his straight A(s) and his 4.0 GPA score, but they were good. In fact, without subjects like Physics and Chemistry to drag him down, Joe's grades were excellent.
But then why did Joe take all those subjects that he took at Bayport High? Frank asked himself. The answer was obvious. Some of those subjects were compulsory. But the more important reason was this. To be like him, Frank answered his own question. Joe wanted to be like him; his brother had looked up to him and had wanted mom and dad to be proud of him like they were proud of their elder son…
"Why didn't he tell us then?" Frank asked his parents, his eyes pleading for an answer that was not the one he already had in his mind.
"Because he wanted everything to go on as normal, Frank. He wanted everything back the way it was before… the family that we were before…"
And now, he decided to move on… again, that was left unsaid.
And Joe let Mr. Pan tell them about all these instead of telling them himself. Had they been so forbidding to Joe and so unsupportive of him that he had to let a stranger do the telling?
Then Frank noticed something else.
"Dad, Joe only took 5 subjects…"
"There are no classes for those Special Papers, Frank. Those were for students who were considered 'gifted' in the various fields to try on their own efforts. Mr. Pan felt that Joe was good enough to try for them and encouraged him to take those papers…" Fenton said, and then his voice lowered to a whisper. "No, Mr. Pan believed in Joe… "
Frank flinched at those words, and he heard his father's unsaid words. 'An outsider believed in Joe… while his family did not…'
He could almost hear the pain and self-loathing in his dad's voice. He understood it totally, he felt it too.
"Frank," Fenton began again in a rather hesitant tone. "Frank, we need to let him go if we ever want him back again…"
The father's anxiety deepens as he watched his eldest stare unblinkingly at that certificate in his hands. He exchanged a worried look with his wife. Finally, Frank looked up, and the father could see the regrets in there. But there was also a steely determination beneath those regrets.
Fenton smiled. Of course his eldest would understand.
They as a family had never really fully known Joe, and hence had never really understood him. In fact, they had always misunderstood and underestimated him. They believed the worse of him; effectively betrayed him, leaving him alone and hanging, at the point in time when he needed their belief and support most.
And to do that so soon after their mistake over Joe's supposed runaway stint?
They really failed him.
Thanks the Lord Mr. Pan was there for Joe during that time…
And Joe, in his desire to have his family proud of him, had never had the chance to fully explore his own skills and talents.
No, Fenton amended. His youngest was never given that chance, since both parents had always used Frank's performance and behavior as the yardstick.
But now that Joe started to flex his wings, the raw talent there was undeniable. Mr. Pan had focus on Joe's strengths and had shown Joe alternatives at which he excelled…
"Of course he had to go!" Frank said in a bright voice that belied the misery in his eyes. "This is a great opportunity, and it'd selfish of us not to give him our full support…"
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