Like I said to my friend, there are times when even I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I count this as one of those times O.o Annyway... All comments will be appreciated, thank you very much.
He sat on a tree branch staring down at the boy walking through a dark forest. There were three others obediently following him. He tilted his head to get a better view, but it made no difference: the view was buried by trees. Without making a single noise, he jumped down hiding himself behind the tree he had been sitting on. He kept staring at the boys back until he was completely hidden by the shadows taking the others with him. He stepped beside the tree still holding his hand on its rind. That was the boy. He remembered him well. That was the one. But he wouldn't. He just wouldn't. He didn't want to. There was no reason to and when there was no reason there was no way he was doing it. He didn't do worthless things, no way. There was no way he was going to… He gasped when he felt a cold hand snaking its way on his hips. The hand rose under his shirt and was gently caressing his skin. He let out another groan and closed his eyes.
"You're doing it right?" a male voice asked.
"I… nh…" he tried to speak, however not being able to get it out.
"You're not hesitating, now are you?"
The hand slipped lower, now making its way in under his pants. He let out a muffled moan trying hard to concentrate as it reached its target.
"So what's it going to be? You doing it?", the other whispered tentatively.
He moaned again, this time not being able to repress it anymore. He knew from that second he had given up and lost the control once again.
"I will, I will, I will, I will…" he pleaded pleasure filling his body.
"Good then. Then I'll give you your reward. I'll give you what you want. But after, you've finished your… task. Remember this. Remember what it feels like. Think about what I'm going to give you. Don't disappoint me" with that he was suddenly gone.
He felt like his feet couldn't hold him any longer and he leaned against the tree shaking uncontrollably. He had done it again. He had surrendered to his needs. He wanted him and the other knew it. He knew it and he was using it. He was using him. But despite the fact that he himself was aware of this, there was nothing he could do to stop himself from being used. His body was screaming him to take him. He craved him so badly. And the things he was making him do to get what he wanted… He didn't care about that, he just didn't want to be controlled. He wasn't supposed to be controlled. He wasn't supposed to be controlled so easily, using more nothing more than just pure sex. Pathetic. He fell on the ground and covered his face with his hands. He wasn't supposed to be this lowlife, sex-addicted cunt. How could he let this happen? Why couldn't he just say no? But he knew the reason already, he knew too well. He had to do something. He had to stop himself being used.
But the only thing he needed to do was to touch him and he had lost himself again. And then his body had taken the control, making him do whatever was asked just to get what it needed so bad. He made himself sick. He felt like vomiting. If the others knew… If the others knew what a scumbag he was. They would look at him with hate and disgust. A disgusting thing that was supposed to be their leader. It was easier to disobey someone you wouldn't respect. Respect. He'd lose all the respect he had. He had stopped respecting himself a long time ago. He didn't deserve it. He hated himself so badly for what he had become. And he hated the other even more. Why did he have to make his life so miserable? Why couldn't he just let him be? But why would he? They both wanted control and when they knew how to get it, there was nothing to stop them from getting it. He had to do it. There was no other option. He was ruining his life! It had to be done! He stood up moving heavily towards the place he knew he would be by now. There was nothing more on his mind than what he knew he had to do as he walked deeper into the forest. It wouldn't take him long to get to his target though it seemed like a forever his legs gaining more weight with every step he took.
His sight was blurry as he found his way to the door silently opening it. He slipped himself in the dim light of the room. He saw a relatively young boy lying on the bed across the room. He laid his gaze on him watching him eyes filled with lust. He was breathing quite softly, apparently sleeping. He sat down on the bed beside him and lightly fingered his hair. He pulled a kunai out of his pocket, gently drawing it on the boys back. He felt like he was on control, finally on the top where he belonged to.
"You going to kill me with that?" the formerly sleeping male asked with no color in his voice.
He didn't answer to his question, but pulled his hair in the air placing the kunai on his neck. Suddenly he felt like laughing. It seemed so easy to get rid of all his problems. One slit and everything would be like they used to be. Everything would be alright. It couldn't be that easy. It just couldn't. He found himself incapable of cutting the others neck.
"What's the matter?" the other asked rising into a sitting position "Can't do it? Or is it that…" he moved closer towards the person sitting on the edge of his bed "you need me".
Shocked by the others words he froze not knowing what to say. He tried to shake his head, not being very assuring.
"Oh, is that so? So are you telling me that…" the boy moved his hand on the others thigh moving it towards the crucial point "you don't want this?"
He started rubbing his hand carefully against the inner leg of the intruder causing a series of gasps coming from his mouth. While still doing this he moved his head near his prey ear whispering him the words the other plead he didn't have to hear.
"Now are you sure you don't want to reconsider?"
He tried to struggle away, failing terribly and soon finding him under the male he had tried to get rid of just a moment go. The other held his hands beside his head keeping him locked to his grip. He leaned closer kissing him gently on the neck. The kisses soon became rougher and the groans of the man under harder to suffocate. He pressed himself tightly against him moving his knee between the others legs, faster every second. He kept struggling against the pleasure quickly overpowering him and a no longer suppressed moan escaped from his lips.
"So, do you want me to keep going on?" the surprisingly younger male asked with a playful voice.
"Y-Yes… O-Oh, god, please… Please, just take me…" he begged losing the last of his self-respect that he still had possessed until that moment.
"That a good boy".