Disclaimer - don't own RENT or the song Beautiful Disaster. Both belong to their respected owners (Jon McLaughlin and Jonathon Larson). 'Nuff said.
Italics are song lyrics, thoughts and flashbacks.
A/N: I got this idea while I was in my sister's apartment and this idea came to me. I will update my other stories, plus I'm working on another one, so be on the lookout for it.
Summary: AU: For her 20th birthday, Roger writes Mimi a very special song about how much she means to him. Meanwhile, Collins has passed away and the ones who are still living have forgiven Benny for his jerkiness.
Genre: General/None
Rating: T
Roger sighed and looked out the window. He was having writer's block - again. This was the second time that week that he had writer's block. He was a musician for Pete's sake - inspiration was all around him.
"How's the song writing coming, Rog?" Mark asked, sitting beside his friend. Roger let out a frustrated sigh and strummed angrily on his guitar.
"Whoa! Whoa! Calm down, Rog!" Mark soothed, trying to get the guitar from his friend, but Roger wouldn't let go.
"Mimi's birthday is this week and I wanted to write a special song for her, but my muse left me." Roger explained, looking at his composition notebook.
"What do you have so far?" Mark asked.
"She loves her momma's lemonade
Hates the sound that goodbye's make
She prays someday, she'll find someone to lead her
She swears that there's no difference
Between the lies and compliments
It's all the same is everybody leaves her
And every magazine tells her she's not good enough
The pictures that she sees makes her cry…
She will change everything
Everything, just ask her
Caught in the in-between,
A beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home…" Roger sang while Mark sat silently, listening.
"That was good, Rog." Mark commented after Roger was done singing.
"You think that Mimi will like it?" Roger asked, strumming his guitar.
"I think so." Mark said, a little uncertain.
For the rest of the afternoon, the boys did their own things - Mark went to visit Collins who was in the hospital, slowly dying from AIDS. Roger didn't want to see his friend suffer, so he decided to stay in the loft and work on the song for Mimi.
Three hours later, Roger finally got it - the last part of his song.
"She's giving boys what they want
Tries to act so nonchalant
Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction
She never stays the same for long
Assuming that she'll get it wrong
Perfect only in her imperfection
She's not a drama queen
She doesn't want to feel this way
Only seventeen, but tired
Yeah …
She will change everything She will change everything,
For happy ever after
Caught in the in-between
A beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home
She's just the way she is
But no one's told her that's okay
Everything, just ask her
Caught in the in-between
A beautiful disaster
She will change everything,
For happy ever after
Caught in the in-between
A beautiful disaster." Roger sang, making sure that the song flowed smoothly.
"Hello?" Mimi's familiar voice called into the loft. Roger quickly hid his guitar and composition notebook before opening the door.
"Hey Meems. It's good to see you again." Roger greeted his friend. She smiled at him and brushed her brown hair over her shoulder. She was dressed in a leopard print tank top and tight jean shorts. On her feet, she wore leopard print flip-flops.
"It's good to see you, too, Rog." Mimi told him, making her way into the loft. The last time Roger had seen her was at Maureen and Joanne's wedding that April. Now, three months later, she still looked stunning.
"Whatcha been up to?" Roger asked, going to the kitchen to get bottled water for both him and Mimi.
"Not much. I'm still working at the Cat Scratch Club and-" she stopped and looked at the ground.
"What's wrong?" Roger asked, handing a bottle of water to Mimi before sitting on the couch next to her.
"Forget it." Mimi told him, turning away and looked at the wall.
"Meems, I know something's bothering you. No matter how bad it is, you can tell me." Roger said, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Imightbepregnant." Mimi mumbled, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Slow down - what?" Roger asked.
"I might be pregnant." Mimi repeated, only slower. Roger didn't know what to say. He just stared at her, stunned.
"What makes you say that?" Roger asked, adjusting his position so that he was looking at her.
"I've been feeling really nauseous for the past three weeks and I threw up this morning." Mimi told him.
"Did you go to work?" Roger inquired. Mimi shook her head.
"Do you want to stay here?" Roger asked out of the blue. Mimi nodded and made herself comfortable on the couch.
While Mimi slept, Roger continued to work on Mimi's song. He had the melody in his head, so all he had to do was write it in his composition notebook.
Around seven that evening, the phone rang. Roger quickly exited his room and answered the phone.
"Hello?" Roger said into the receiver.
"Rog? It's Mark." Mark told him, a hint of sadness in his voice.
"What's wrong?" Roger asked.
"Collins died around five this afternoon." Mark said, his voice breaking.
"Oh God." Roger whispered, sitting down in the chair next to the phone.
"At least he's not suffering anymore." Roger said after a while.
"Yeah." Mark agreed.
"When are you coming home?" Roger asked, twisting the phone cord around his finger.
"I don't know. Are you okay by yourself?" Mark asked.
"I'm not by myself - Mimi's here - she's sleeping, though." Roger informed his friend.
"Do you two want to come to the hospital and say goodbye to Collins?" Mark inquired. Roger looked over at Mimi - she was still asleep.
"We'll be there in about half an hour." Roger told his friend.
"Okay. See ya then." with that, Mark hung up. Roger sighed and hung up the phone. He then walked over to the couch and gently sat down next to Mimi and took her in his arms. Looking down at her, he gently stroked her hair and tried to hold back his tears, but failed. A tear ran down his cheek and landed on her neck. She stirred, but didn't open her eyes.
"Meems, can you wake up for a minute?" Roger asked. Mimi opened her eyes and looked up at him.
"What's wrong?" Mimi croaked.
"Collins passed away and Mark wants us to come to the hospital. Are you up for it?" Roger asked. Mimi nodded and sat up and stretched.
Roger carefully helped Mimi climb down the stairs and helped her get into his car. They drove in silence for a while until Mimi broke the silence.
"So, how's the song writing going?" she asked. Roger shrugged his shoulders and kept his eyes on the road. Mimi sighed and looked out the window.
They arrived at the hospital ten minutes later. Roger dropped Mimi off while he went to look for a parking space - his thoughts spinning out of control.
Sighing, he found a parking spot, turned off the engine, got out of the car, locked the doors and headed to the waiting room where Mark and everyone would be waiting for him.
"Hey guys." Roger greeted his friends - Maureen, Joanne, Mark, Mimi and Benny. Maureen and Joanne had tears streaming down their cheeks as they hugged him. Roger fought back tears as he hugged the girls back.
"Rog, I'm sorry about what happened and I want to help out as much as I can." Benny offered. Roger nodded, but didn't say anything.
"Thanks for offering, Benny." Mark thanked his friend, breaking the silence.
The six of them sat in the waiting room, exchanging funny and serious stories about Collins.
"Remember that one time in college when Collins streaked through the campus?" Mark asked, smiling. Roger and Benny burst out laughing while the girls exchanged confused looks with one another. Mark shared the story with the girls while Benny went to make a phone call and Roger thought about his song. Checking his watch, it was nearly midnight - almost time for Mimi's birthday.
"Mimi, it's almost your birthday." Roger whispered in her ear. She nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and drew her close.
Exactly at midnight, Roger's watch beeped.
"What was that?" a sleepy Maureen asked, lifting her head off of Joanne's shoulder.
"My watch went off." Roger whispered, shaking Mimi awake.
"I'm sorry to tell you folks this, but you're gonna have to leave." a nurse barked at them. The six of them mumbled and complained that they didn't want to go, but they decided to go to the loft and crash there.
Once they were at the loft, the six of them sat on different surfaces, from the table to chairs to the floor.
"Mimi, I want to share my present with you first." Roger spoke up, going to his room to get his guitar. He finally finished Mimi's song and decided to call it Beautiful Disaster.
"She loves her momma's lemonade
Hates the sound that goodbye's make
She prays someday, she'll find someone to lead her
She swears that there's no difference
Between the lies and compliments
It's all the same if everybody leaves her
And every magazine tells her she's not good enough
The pictures that she sees makes her cry…
She will change everything She's giving boys what they want She will change everything She will change everything, She will change everything,
Everything, just ask her
Caught in the in-between,
A beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home…
Tries to act so nonchalant
Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction
She never stays the same for long
Assuming that she'll get it wrong
Perfect only in her imperfection
She's not a drama queen
She doesn't want to feel this way
Only seventeen, but tired
Yeah…
For happy ever after
Caught in the in-between
A beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home
She's just the way she is
But no one's told her that's okay
Everything just ask her
Caught in the in-between
A beautiful disaster
For happy ever after
Caught in the in-between
A beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home
She just needs someone to take her home…" Roger sang, looking up every so often at Mimi. She was nodding her head to the rhythm of the song, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Roger! That was beautiful! Thank you!" Mimi thanked him when he was done singing.
"You're welcome, Meems." Roger told her, ripping out a page in his composition notebook and handed it to Mimi.
"These are the lyrics to the song." Roger said, signing the bottom of the page 'To Mimi, Love Roger.'
"I think we're gonna go home. We're wiped out. Happy birthday, hun." Joanne told her friend, standing up and hugged her. Mimi hugged her back for what seemed like a lifetime.
"Wait a minute, I thought you guys were -yawn- staying here?" Mark said, stifling a yawn.
"We were, but I just remembered that I have a big court case tomorrow and I can't miss it." Joanne told him, going over to the couch and shook Maureen awake.
"Mmm." Maureen moaned.
"I think I might crash here tonight, if that's okay with you two." Benny piped up, his voice hoarse.
"Of course, Ben." Mark told his friend, going to the linen closet and got out mint green sheets. He went into his room and retrieved an ugly pink, gray and black striped pillow.
"I'm gonna go to my loft. Thanks for the present, Rog." Mimi hugged Roger around the neck and kissed his cheek. Roger smiled and watched her go.
The three men ended up sleeping in separate rooms - Benny was in Collins' old room, Mark was in his room and Roger was in his.
As he slept, Roger couldn't keep his mind off of Mimi - she was twenty-years old and pregnant. He wondered who the father of Mimi's baby was and when the baby was born, if the father would be there to support Mimi. Also, if she was pregnant, Mimi couldn't do drugs or work at the Cat Scratch Club. Roger wondered how Mimi would be able to support herself and the baby when it came.
Turning over on his back, Roger gazed up at the ceiling and put his hands behind his head. Sighing, he tossed the thin blanket off of him and crept downstairs to Mimi's loft. Quietly sliding the door open, he crept inside and slid the door closed behind him. He couldn't see very well in the dimly lit room, but he knew his way around.
"SHIT!" he swore loudly as he banged into the kitchen table. Limping over to the couch, he sat down and examined his left big toe.
"Who the hell is in my apartment?" Mimi hissed, moving over to the couch where Roger was in one swift move. Roger could see that she had a baseball bat in her hand and a wild look in her eyes.
"Whoa! Mimi! It's okay!" Roger told her, waving his arms in front of his face.
"Roger Davis! Don't you scare the shit out of me like that!" Mimi told him angrily. She then rambled on in Spanish, pacing back and forth. Roger couldn't help but let out a chuckle.
"Mimi, calm down. I wanted to ask you something." Roger told her as Mimi flipped on the lights, blinding Roger. Mimi was dressed in a teal bra and matching underwear. Her hair was a wild mess around her head and she looked absolutely beautiful.
"What?" Mimi snapped.
"Who's the father of your baby?" Roger blurted out, not realizing what he had said.
"I don't know. I never saw his face." Mimi answered, walking around Roger. He wanted to unfasten her bra and make love to her, but he couldn't - she was seven years younger than he was and she was pregnant.
"Were you raped?" Roger inquired.
"What is this, 20 questions?" Mimi asked, irritated.
"No. I'm just worried about you." Roger told her, reaching out to touch her, but she shied away.
"Don't worry about me, Davis. I can take care of myself." she growled.
"Okay - I came over here to help you, but you're just pushing me away. Is that any way to treat your friends?" Roger growled back.
"Just leave me the hell alone." Mimi told him, signaling to the door.
"Fine!" Roger yelled, getting up from the couch, opened the door and stormed back up to the loft.
--------------------------
Eight months later, Mimi went into labor, with Joanne and Maureen at her side, guiding her through the intense labor. Mark, Roger and Benny were in the waiting room doing their separate things - Mark was reading a book, Benny was using the pay phone and Roger was scribbling away in his composition notebook.
Three hours later, Maureen came into the waiting room, an unreadable expression on her face. She sat down next to Roger and took one of his hands in hers.
"What are you doing, Maureen?" Roger asked.
"There's good news and bad news." Maureen told him, tracing the lines of Roger's left palm with her right index finger.
"What is it?" Mark inquired, looking up from his book.
"The good news is that Mimi delivered a healthy baby girl named Sofia Maria Marquez. The bad news is-" Maureen wiped the tears out of her eyes.
"She didn't make it, did she?" Roger wanted to know. Maureen sadly shook her head.
"What's gonna happen to the baby?" Benny spoke up, hanging up the phone.
"Come see her." Maureen told Roger, pulling him up. Roger obediently followed Maureen to the viewing center and pointed to a pink bundle in the second row.
"She's beautiful." Roger whispered.
"I'm afraid I have more bad news, Rog." Maureen told him, not looking away from Sofia.
"What is it?" Roger asked, feeling tears stream down his cheeks.
"That little girl tested positive for HIV. The doctors don't expect her to live much longer, but they're trying everything they can to save her." Maureen said, turning so that she faced Roger. He could see that tears were streaming down her cheeks.
"Oh God." Roger whispered.
"Mimi wanted you to have her - she looks a little like you." Maureen spoke up.
"What's gonna happen to her if I don't take her?" Roger asked.
"She'll die." Maureen told him.
"I'll take her. I don't want that baby to die - not like her mother." Roger told the drama queen.
"That's what I thought you'd do." Maureen said, smiling a little through her tears.
"She just needs someone to take her home…." Roger sang softly as Maureen led him to the nurse's station so that he could fill out paperwork to be Sofia's legal guardian.
---------------------------
Eight years later, Sofia Maria Davis is living with her Uncle Mark after her dad passed away from AIDS last year. She's doing well - she's taken up ballet, photography and guitar lessons.
She will change everything,
For happy ever after
Caught in the in-between
A beautiful disaster