I do not own "The Legend Of Zelda" or any of the characters in this story.

"Link's Rant"

"I just don't understand it! Why aren't people giving me the credit I deserve!? I've fought countless monsters, survived dangerous challenges, saved the world dozens of times -- and yet, people still REFUSE to name the games after ME!

"Zelda, this. Zelda, that. Zelda, Zelda, ZELDA!

"Don't get me wrong. I like Zelda. I actually think she's pretty cute. And we're paired together in so many fanfics and fanart pictures. That, I don't mind. But hey! I'm the one doing all the work here! I'm the one saving the world every two minutes! I'm the one rounding up the fairies, putting myself in danger, and in my most recent adventure for the Nintendo Wii, I even turn into a WOLF! What more do I have to do to get even so much as one game named after me!?

"The only time a game was ever named after me was in 1988 when "The Adventures Of Link" for the regular Nintendo came out -- which was way, way, WAY back in the day, right? TWENTY YEARS AGO! That was it? That was the only time? What about now, for Pete's sake?

"And what kind of 'legend' does Zelda have anyway? I'll tell you what kind! She sits around, waiting for ME to fix things in Hyrule whenever something goes wrong. I've never once seen her pick up a sword to defend herself, or her kingdom!

"Let's face it people: a video game is in No way like a movie. I don't have a stunt double to fill in for me every time I have to fight a really tough boss, or something. Even though a person can just press the reset button, or make me drink a bunch of potions to keep myself alive, IT HURTS TO DIE!

"Man, the 'Final Fantasy' people have all the luck! Even though there is a great new cast of characters and a whole new story every time a new game comes out, they never have to worry about the name of the game. You think Cloud Strife would have kept his mouth shut if the game were called 'The Legend Of Aeris?' She died at the end of disk one, for crying out loud! Cloud would most certainly want the game named after him. After all, he did all the work, right?

"But, I guess I shouldn't complain too much. I mean, at least people know just who the star of the show is. In the end, it's all about me -- Link. Everyone's favorite elf. The cute little elf with the green hat, green cloths, and irresistible save-the-world charm!

"… You know, after thinking of that, I think I can deal with the whole 'Legend Of Zelda' title after all."

"AH! LINK! HELP! IT'S A MONSTER!"

"Coming Zelda!" He winks at you. "That's my cue. Gotta go! Bye!" He draws his swords and runs away.

THE END