Checkerboard Dancefloor
"Ugh, Mello, please…"
Matt sucked on his cigarette, combining the action with a small groan.
"…Please don't tell me you're turning into Near."
Mello glanced up at him through blonde hair and smoke; his dark eyes narrowed but uninterested.
"Hypocritical, if you don't mind me saying, Matt," he replied coolly, nodding at the Nintendo DS in Matt's hand. "You know, coming from the one who sits around glued to games consoles all day."
"Ah, ouch." With a grin, Matt sank into the chair across from the blonde. "Point taken." He flicked a little ash from his cigarette onto the table.
Mello didn't answer him this time, and Matt watched him; because honestly, Mello wasn't himself today. Mello worked on his laptop, and rifled through the newspaper muttering obscenities at Kira, and ate chocolate, snapping the squares between his teeth.
Mello didn't sit at the table of their apartment with a checkerboard, arranging the pieces in groups on the black-and-white grid. That was so… Near.
"What's it to you, anyway?" Mello snapped finally, not looking up.
"You're being weird." Matt gave a shrug. "Is all. You know?"
"No, I don't know." Another glance upwards. "Matt, I'm busy. Get lost."
"Look, I'll shut up, okay?" Matt raised his hands in surrender, still clutching his cigarette. "But I'm staying here."
"Fine."
Again, Mello didn't spare him a glace, concentrating on arranging the checkers in small, precise groups. Matt flicked the game cartridge upwards and then snapped it back into place, flipping the power on. Mello's slender, leather-clothed fingers twitched a little as the high-pitched strains of Gameboy music started up.
"Matt…" he hissed.
"Jesus, what now?" Matt snapped, already distracted by his game.
"Turn it down!" Mello's fingers absently touched the rosary strung round his throat. "And don't blaspheme," he added as a quiet afterthought.
"Okay, seriously…" Matt turned off his DS, slammed it down on the table, pulled his goggles up to his forehead, snapping them against his red hair, and leaned across towards Mello a little, resting his elbows on the table. "…What the hell is up with you today?"
"Your damn Gameboy."
"It's a Nintendo DS," Matt corrected tetchily, "and no way, nice try, but no. First there's the whole Near-act, and now I'm getting it in the neck for saying 'Jesus'? You know I say that ten times a day, right? And you know you've never said anything before, right? You do know that, Mello, right? Since when do you care about blasphemy? You're the worst culprit for it!"
"Okay, look…" Mello massaged his forehead. "I'm not in a good mood today. Not like you didn't notice."
Matt gave a nod, and flicked more ash onto the table.
"Any reason? It's not my fault, right? Because I try, you know, and I… well, you've never complained before, and you seemed happy enough last night—"
"Matt, not now!" Mello banged his hand on the table, interrupting him. "This is serious."
Matt blinked.
"Checkers are more serious than us?"
Mello pointed furiously in the direction of the bedroom.
"Matt, what happens in there stays in there, okay? Because this isn't about you and me, this is about…"
Matt rolled his eyes as Mello trailed off uncertainly.
"It's about what?" Matt pulled his goggles off completely. "Catching Kira? Beating Near? Avenging L?"
Mello sighed deeply and pressed his fingertips together.
"Matt, for all my talk, I think you know as well as I do… that Near will probably find Kira before me. I wish it wasn't that way, because we were supposed to be equal, you know, but… we weren't. We aren't. L never got the chance to choose one of us, but… he would have chosen Near. I know he would have."
"You don't know that."
"Yes I do." Mello gave another small sigh. "But it doesn't matter. He didn't choose Near, because he couldn't. That gives me the opportunity to be the one to avenge him, even though I know… it probably still won't be me."
"And you've been dwelling on that all day?" Matt asked, raising an eyebrow. "Mello, I know L was important to you… hell, he was important to me and Near too, but… shouldn't you be thinking about catching Kira because it's the right thing to do, and less so because it'll show that you're better than Near? I mean, it's not even like, if you caught Kira, you could even show L that he should have chosen you, because… well, because he's dead. That's why we're all here, isn't it? I mean, if he was still alive, we wouldn't be—"
"Matt, I know, I know. You're right. It shouldn't be about vengeance, it should be about justice, but… it's impossible to me. Every time we get closer to catching Kira, I think to myself we're getting closer to catching the bastard who killed L."
"Mello, if you don't start being more careful, you're going to end up the same way as L."
Mello absently touched the scar on his face, noticing that Matt's gaze was lingering on it.
"I know, I was lucky, okay? And I know I could die doing this. We all could. You, me, even Near… L did, after all. And fuck, Matt… he was the best."
"Well, if he was so great, why are you doing a Near?" Matt asked, nodding at the checkerboard.
"Because Near is closer than me. I know he is. I might have gotten that notebook, but that was because I needed it to figure stuff out. I can admit that, Matt – Near didn't need the Death Note. And this is how Near does it, this is how he works stuff out…"
"You're seeing if it works?"
"Just…" Mello moved two checkers – black and white – across the board. "Just… curious…"
"Mello. Listen to me." Matt reached across and put his hand on top of Mello's, stopping him from moving any more checkers. "You aren't Near. And you aren't L. You don't work like them, so you shouldn't try. I mean, fuck, man… The Mafia?"
"I know what you're saying, Matt, but until I start playing with Lego, don't be too worried." Mello offered him a smirk and turned the board around to show him. "Look. This is the Kira investigation."
"Is it really." It wasn't a question on Matt's part as he ran his sceptical gaze over the board.
"Don't piss me off, Matt; just listen." He pointed to the few lone scattered pieces at one end of the board, focusing on the one right in the middle. "This is Kira. And then L believed there was a second Kira, so… that's this one here."
"Misa Amane?"
"That's what L suspected. We know, at least, that there's more than one notebook."
Mello's fingers moved across to the other side of the board, where there were considerably more pieces.
"This one right here at the front is L. This line behind him is the Japanese investigation team that he worked with while he was alive – the one that has continued to seek Kira in his permanent absence."
"The one you made contact with?"
"Right." Mello picked up three more checkers, placing one on top of the "L" one. "L was killed. He didn't choose Near as his successor, exactly, but… I think it's safe to say that Near is the closest thing to being the next L, apart from that fake one with the investigation team, of course."
"So that one is Near?"
"Yeah."
"Interesting." Matt raised his eyebrows. "The one on top of L is Near…"
"Matt, take this seriously!" Mello snapped. He held up the other two checkers. "These ones are you and me. This group here is the Mafia gang I was with, but…" He placed the two pieces across the other side, next to one another. "…Right now, it's just you and me."
"Which one is me?"
"Oh, uh…" Mello irritably flicked his finger at one. "That one. It doesn't matter."
"Sure it does." Matt picked up the checker and slapped it down on top of the "Mello" one. "There, I prefer it that way."
"Matt!" Mello gripped at his blonde hair. "This was a serious—"
"No, I think you were just bored."
"And that is irrelevant to the investigation." Mello flicked the "Matt" checker in question off again, sending it skidding across the board. "It's just how you wish things were."
"No, this is how I wish things were," Matt corrected flatly, lifting the board up and letting all of the checkers slide off onto the floor. The board joined it as Mello stared from it to Matt and then back again, speechless. "No investigation. No Kira at all."
"Well, so do I, but this is how things are," Mello snapped.
"Yeah, this is how things are," Matt agreed; he leaned right across the table and kissed Mello hard on the mouth.
Mello paused, not because he was surprised by or unused to it, but because he was debating whether or not to bite Matt on the lip as punishment for emptying his checkers onto the floor.
He didn't, incidentally; why fight with Matt when Matt wasn't his enemy? Matt wasn't Kira, or… Near.
Matt was…
The blonde detective leaned out of his seat too, pressed harder still, felt Matt's fingers tangle in his hair, and placed his own hands on the other man's shoulders; felt the soft fabric of his top even through his gloves. He felt Matt heave himself upwards onto the table, kneeling on it, pulling at Mello even with their mouths still locked to get him to join him. Mello pushed out of his seat and used his grip on Matt's shoulders as leverage to get onto the table too; where all they did was kneel and let their tongues battle it out.
"It's hard… to stay mad at you," Mello breathed when Matt eventually pulled away, resting his cheek against Matt's shoulder. "And you know… I never find it hard to stay mad… at anyone."
"It's 'cause I'm awesome," Matt agreed blandly.
"Hm." Knowing that Matt couldn't see him do it, Mello rolled his eyes irritably; and then his gaze settled on the black and white stripes of Matt's top, and he gave his shoulder a squeeze.
Black and white, of course, like his checkerboard.
"It's because of something… Near told me, actually," he admitted finally.
"What is?"
"The checkerboard thing. Back at Wammy's. I saw him playing with one once, and asked if I could play too, and he said no, because he wasn't playing Checkers. He was arranging armies."
"Right, because that makes sense."
"Well, it's Near." Mello paused, the side of his face still pressed to the warmth of Matt's shoulder; he could smell smoke and knew Matt had the damn thing in his mouth again. "You ever heard of the "Devil's dancefloor" analogy?"
"No, but it sounds like an arcade game I should know about."
"What the hell?"
"DDR; Devil's Dancefloor Revolution."
"Matt, I'm serious."
"Me too."
"I'll bite your shoulder." Mello pressed his mouth to it to show he wasn't joking.
"Fine, fine." Matt exhaled a breath of smoke. "Shoot."
"Near said he'd read it somewhere, that life on Earth was like the Devil's dancefloor. You just weave in and out, dance with some people, avoid others, try and make your way through, and in the end, you all go to Hell. And the Devil watches and laughs at you."
"Cheerful." Matt frowned. "What's that got to do with Checkers?"
"I don't know. Nothing, I guess. I was just thinking today, how… since Kira first showed up, society has changed. People are afraid. Kira preys on that fear, but… it's like he's the Devil. People are good because they're afraid to go to Hell, and people are good because they're afraid of being judged by Kira. Kira hasn't destroyed evil, he's just suppressed it. And, well, it reminded me of what Near said, and Near was playing with that checkerboard when he said it."
"So, what, we're all on Kira's dancefloor?" Matt asked humourlessly. "Dance or thou shalt be smited by Kira's wrath?"
"I don't think "smited" is a word, Matt," Mello replied. "And yeah, I know it's stupid."
"Maybe Near meant the checkerboard was the dancefloor?"
"I dunno. It's dumb. You're right."
"Well, I didn't mean… It's just not you, you know?"
"No." Mello even smirked a little against Matt's black-and-white shoulder. "I mean you were right. I guess I was just bored."
"Heh." Matt rested his cheek on the top of Mello's head; soft gold pressed to his skin. "Though I do like the thought of being on top of you…"
"Matt," Mello groaned.
"What?" Matt was indignant. "Look, you might piss and moan about Near, but… you do have this. Near doesn't."
"Near doesn't need it," Mello sighed. "Neither did L."
"Well, you're not them, and I'm glad." Matt kissed Mello on the forehead. "It means I get you."
"Lucky me," Mello muttered blackly.
"No, lucky me." Matt sighed. "Maybe you don't like to hear this, because you're tough-leather-Mafia-guy and all, but I love you. And I don't need checkerboards or dancefloors to tell me that, and I don't need you to be like L or better than Near. I don't want any of that."
"I know." Mello closed his eyes. "Stop being so melodramatic. I love you too. You know that. Stop acting like the jilted lover already."
Matt grinned.
"Fine, fine. But only if we do Checkers tonight."
"Checkers?" Mello lifted his head, opening his eyes.
Matt's grin widened.
"Me on top."
"As if." Mello shoved him off the table to join the real checker pieces on the floor. "It's my turn."
"You're so unfair," Matt grumbled, rubbing his elbow where he had hit it.
Mello lay across the table and looked down at him, his head resting in his hands.
"Matt, all's fair in DDR."
"Devil's Dancefloor Revolution, right?"
"Right."
Matt scowled and slid his DS off the table into his hand.
"Well, I'll be playing Pokémon…"
Mello gave an absent nod as Matt retreated under the table, the music that annoyed him so starting up again.
Near was one matter, and L another entirely; but Matt—
Checkerboard dancefloor or no, couldn't live with him… and sure as hell, Mello knew, couldn't live without him.
Black to white – and everything else in between.
END
Aww, MelloxMatt. They're sooooooo awesome… :)
Though it will never cease to amaze me how much more popular Matt is than other minor characters that have much bigger roles than him. I mean, Hal Lidner, that Gevanni guy, Kiyomi Takada (by-otch; Misa kicks her ass), even the likes of Aizawa…
Nope, it's Matt all the way, with the whole ten-odd lines that he says in the entirety of Death Note… Oh, we love him so.
I wrote this partly for AutumnDynasty, and partly because a Magic 8 Ball commanded me to…