This chapter in POV form to better portray the character's emotions. Sorry for the wait. Review please.

Ville

I sat alone in Bam's kitchen, struggling to eat breakfast. I couldn't help trying to do it while Bam was still asleep; I had become a bit self conscious of my eating habits and I was not pleased at the thought of Bam being here while I tried to eat, watching me fail. If I wanted to stay here on Earth, I had to eat something. Even if it required getting up before the sun. A bowl of cereal. How hard would that be? I frowned at the bowl. I had stalled far too long; it was mush now. I scolded myself for letting Bam's cereal go to waste and decided to try to eat it anyways. I shoved a spoonful in my mouth…

And spit it back out in mortal disgust.

Oh god it was awful.

I cringed, looking around for something to take away the strange bitter taste.

I sighed as I settled for a cup of coffee. It was neither food nor healthy but it at least had the capability of filling my stomach to some degree. It took away the cereal taste. I'd get to eating food later. I then remembered that tomorrow I had to go back to the hospital for a check up, and more pills. I glanced at the bottle on the counter that I hadn't opened yet. I threw it in a drawer where I could no longer see the depressing thing, and smiled.

I hummed to myself, giddy with excitement just by looking around. I was in Bam's house. I had always loved his house. It was warm and homey, even if it had an empty castle appearance to it. Still, I couldn't help notice I was more giddy now that Bam had no woman upstairs.

It all felt so wrong, to think such a way. How could I be happy to be in Bam's house, after I ruined his wedding and got rid of his wife? It was selfish…

but I couldn't help it.

I wanted him so bad.

I nearly spilled my coffee on myself when I saw him coming down the stairs. My heart raced. Bam. He was taking his time trudging down the stairs, the sleep still visible in his eyes, his hair a soft-looking mess. He wasn't warring a shirt. I stiffened. It wasn't that I hadn't seen him shirtless before. He had been shirtless countless times, and it was easier to imagine him shirtless than imagine him actually warring a shirt. Still, this never took away from the fact that my face would burn irritably every time I saw large amounts of his bare skin. I tried looking away to hide my face, that was possibly flushed red by now, but I couldn't help notice that something was different. I dared to look at him again. I looked him up and down as he stopped before me a second to yawn.

'He's wearing pants'.

I pressed my lips into a thin line, trying to hide the smile that was leaking out at the sound of those words in my head. I couldn't contain it, therefore I resorted to hiding it with my hand. I shook my head at the inside joke. It was a strange site to see him in pants, truly it was. When I stayed here for a night or two with the band, on bloody H.I.M. tours that left us exhausted beyond our wildest dreams, Bam would usually come down the stairs in his boxers and prance around and shake his ass when he thought nobody was looking. He had always been so comfortable with himself. I turned my head to stare as he walked past me, admiring the soft looking material of his long black sweat pants that swished just a bit with the slight movement of his hips. It was a wonder that he hadn't tripped on the dragging fabric yet. I tore my eyes off of him finally, and proceeded to greeting him.

"Good morning." I said to my coffee. The image of him dancing in his boxers was still fresh in my head and I couldn't look at him.

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Morning." He said absently, rummaging around cupboards.

I looked up at him and realized, to my amusement, that he wasn't fully awake. He was walking around like a mindless zombie, completely unaware of what exactly he was doing. He picked out a cup and set it down on the counter. He poured cereal as he stood there, aiming for the cup, which ended up spilling everywhere on the counter but the cup. I got out of my chair and quickly ran up to him, taking the box away. He threw his arms around my neck, drowsily hanging on me, causing me to spill the box all over the floor.

"Wille Walo!" He said with a smile, his eyes closed.

I had known that he was a messy drunk, but I hadn't been aware that he was like this in the morning as well.

"Bam love, you need more rest."

I blinked in amazement at the word of endearment I had used. Love. It sounded nice. I shook it away, and for once I was glad Bam was too out of it to pay attention to me.

"Sorry." I whispered to him anyways. I wasn't entitled to calling him things. I hadn't earned it yet. He stared at me curiously, asking me what the hell I was talking about with his eyes. I smiled and picked him up in my arms. He didn't hesitate, and I'm fairly sure he didn't even notice. I stood for a minute, pondering my options. There was the couch, and there was the rooms upstairs. I wondered whether I should put him back in his own bed or in a guest bed. As far I was concerned, he hadn't slept in his own bed ever since before the wedding, and I wasn't going to mess that up for him yet. I sighed, taking in the sight of my dearest Bam as he nestled into me and fell asleep. I wanted to keep holding him, I decided. I was leaving soon, and just for once, I wanted to savor him to the last minute. A couple more hours and I would leave, causing him no more troubles. There wasn't a possible way I could screw his life up from Finland, or wherever it was the road took me. I walked over to the couch and sat down slowly, trying not to disturb him.

Bam

The instant I woke up, I knew there was something up. It didn't feel right. The material of whatever was on my body keeping me warm wasn't the material of any of the blankets I had. It felt like a coat. I didn't get what was going on until I really opened my eyes and saw that I was downstairs…

"Oh… crap."

My eyes widened when I finally figured it out. I had been asleep, resting my head on Ville's lap on the couch. I thought he was sleeping for a minute by how he wasn't moving at all. I felt him cringe, and I was sure he was awake.

"Hey Ville," I said, not bothering to sit up. To hell with it. It felt nice on Ville's lap. "How'd I get down here?" I asked casually.

"Your awake?" Ville sounded surprised. "Ah, you woke up in the morning like a messy drunk--"

"Oh, right."

"You've done it before?" Ville asked in amusement.

"Yeah… I do that a lot. Missy used to wake me up before I even got out of the room… I'd always end up tripping down the stairs. Last time I nearly smashed my skull open--" I stopped there, not wanting to remember. Ville understood. He quickly changed the subject.

"Your cereal tastes horrible." He muttered.

I chuckled darkly. "I didn't know you were the cereal type."

"I wasn't," Ville said flatly. "and I don't think I ever will be."

I smiled at his eating habits, trying to picture him eating cereal. I didn't notice it at first, but I was gently stroking his knee. He didn't seem to mind too much, and I didn't really give a damn anymore about the awkwardness. It felt nice too. I moved down a bit and stroked his leg, just a bit, and he twitched, as he suddenly got agitated. I didn't like making him uncomfortable but I had just decided a minute ago that I didn't care if he, or I, was, so I kept doing it anyways. He calmed after a bit.

We kept in silence for what seemed like forever. He didn't move and I kept stroking his leg, admiring it openly.

After a while, Ville tensed again. "Maybe I should be leaving now." He said. I finally sat up.

"What? Why?" I asked too fast.

"I've overstayed my welcome." He said simply.

"You can't leave!" I frowned.

He got up anyways, and started heading up the stairs for his things. I grabbed his arm.

"No!"

Ville looked at me, torn for a minute. His eyes grew cold. "I'm destroying everything." He whispered. He shrugged his arm out of my grasp and was already going up the stairs.

"Ville!" I called, but he stubbornly ignored me.

No. No. No! He couldn't leave. I wouldn't let him.

He was already shuffling around upstairs, and I wondered how'd he'd gotten there so fast. I must have been frozen in shock for too long. I ran up the stairs, two steps at a time. He hadn't brought many things. He was already heading out of the guest room.

"Stop!"

I startled him and he dropped his things. I shoved him back into the guest room and locked the door behind me. I pushed him too hard I noticed; he fell onto the floor and was looking up at me in shock.

"Don't leave." I pleaded. I stalked in front of the door, making it impossible to get out. He noted this, and for some reason that made him want to get out more. He stood up and tried to push me aside. I stood my ground before him.

Ville

I tried to look fierce, really I did, but it wasn't even fooling me. I felt the fake expression on my face slipping, as I realized I was standing much to close to him, in a locked room. "god, this feels so WRONG!" I nearly blushed. I knew where this might lead; It had happened to me before. I stayed as far away as I could from the bed, I could already see the intense desire in his eyes. I couldn't grow attached to him like that and have to leave him the next morning, sneaking away as he slept, or worse, I couldn't stand the thought of being used…And then thrown away. Could I over power him if he tried to get me onto that bed? No, I was too weak to shove him off if he happened to get on top of me…

I shoved at him again, more desperate to leave than before. He wobbled just a bit, but managed to return to his position blocking the door. I cursed.

"What the fuck? Why are you leaving now?!" He demanded.

I clenched my teeth. I was getting impatient and the mood on my face started to feel more real. I grabbed his shoulders.
"Bam, don't you understand?! I shouldn't be around you! I'm doing awful things to you! Look...You're covered in my tattoos! You started drinking more because of me! You started smoking because of me! You more than likely got the razorblade idea from me, and I destroyed your wedding! Doesn't that matter to you?!"

His eyes flickered, but he suddenly looked a bit frightened. He blinked hard and I noticed he was fighting back tears. My heart sunk. Had I really been too harsh? I loosened my grip from his shoulders a bit, but I didn't know how to let go.

"Ville…" he looked up at me and a smile twitched onto his face. "Are you going to leave me to fix my problems on my own?"

"I stole your innocence." I whispered. "You were just an innocent skate kid before you met me."

"You didn't do anything but steal my heart." He muttered.

I cringed at the words.

"I just don't what to damage you more…"

"Stop." He interrupted me. He unlaced my hands off his shoulders, but kept a tight grip on them, not letting them go. "No, no, no… please don't do this to me." my hands grew cold in his, even though his were remarkably warm and pleasant.

"God dammit Ville." He said, a slight bit amused. "you didn't do any damage at all, it was all me. Fuck, you saved me from making the worst mistake in my life! I wasn't happy with Missy, I was just too afraid to call it off at the last minute. You made me happy, and I can't solve all these problems. Not alone, I can't."

I thought about it.

Could I risk braking him more to fix how damaged he already was?

I looked down at his hands holding mine.

"Please?" He whispered. "Stay. For a little longer. I'm… scared." He admitted, looking down shyly.

He looked back up at me with a forced smile. I could see the fear in his eyes, he wasn't lying. I smiled.

"I didn't want to leave anyways."

Bam

I was so relieved when he said that he would stay longer. I felt so greedy, so wrong, but there was nothing I could do about being a wussy. I dropped his hands, suddenly embarrassed at how much I wanted him here, how much I begged. I just couldn't handle the stress of the world weighing down on me on my own. I needed his arms to run into more than ever now. I was too pushy, but he assured me he was staying by his own free will. I still wasn't too sure whether he was lying to me or not. I was afraid that he might disappear as soon as I turned my back. He understood this, and let me sit on the guest bed to watch him unpacked his things. He finished and turned to look at me, a smile spreading across his face.

"So master, what now?" He joked.

I laughed. "Your not a prisoner here, you know."

Ville put on a straight face. "Alright. Goodbye." He waved and headed towards the door.

"stop!" I called after him instinctively. I even knew he was joking and I still freaked. I turned red.

'I'm not leaving." Ville chuckled. "I wouldn't dare."

"I know…it just feels like you're going to jump out of a window or vanish into thin air…"

"fuck, what if I'm dreaming?!"

"oh my god, this is a dream! You're not really here! I'm imagining things." I stared at him hard.

He walked up to me. "If I were a dream, or a nightmare rather, then you wouldn't feel this, correct?"

He took my hands in his, stroking them, in awe with my skin.

"I can still be imagining that." I frowned. I really thought I was dreaming now, it was all so surreal. I mean, running out from a wedding with Ville, taking him to get surgery, bringing him back home, keeping him captive… it sounded like the type of dream I usually would get after getting wasted.

Wasted. When was the last time I did that? Probably not long ago if I was imagining all this…

He leaned towards me and gave me a peck on the lips, his soft lips barely touching mine. He didn't back away, and remained inches from my face. "was that real enough for you?"

I still wasn't even sure if it was real, but instinct and desire took over. I grabbed him, my hands in his soft mess of hair, pulling his face into mine. I greedily kissed him hard, wild with desire. He hadn't missed a beat, he was kissing me back, and that made the kiss even more unbearably good. I couldn't stop. My hands were running all across him now, feeling down his smooth face, his soft neck, outlining his collar bone, gripping onto his perfect shoulders. He stopped kissing me, going stiff as I embraced him, but I willed him to continue on. My hands ran down his chest, and I felt his throbbing heart, going insane. My hands returned to his face quickly, fuck did I love his face. It felt so right…

Ville

This was what I was trying to avoid. I had seen the lust in his eyes before I had given him the small kiss. I could have guessed right away that kissing him like that would have gotten a rise out of him, made him go wild. And it did. It was stupid of me to kiss him even when I knew he would react in such a way, but I couldn't help it. I craved for him as much as he seemed to crave for me at the moment, and I took the first opportunity I could find. I knew it was wrong, to grow attached, to bring love and lust into our friendship. Things wouldn't be the same anymore, and it would be harder when he was gone. Whether I left out of my own will, to keep from doing anymore damage in his life, or if he just… dumped me. Either way, it was going to hurt too much when I lost him, and I knew that I would pay a price for this later. Wretched hormones. I had given in. It was Bam after all. How long had I wanted this? I had loved him since the day we met, I loved him far too much. I started to wonder if possibly I was the one dreaming, because here was the man, this beautiful man, of my very dreams and aspirations. No. My dreams did not compare to this. It was far beyond what I had imagined, and I was completely intoxicated. I couldn't help start to do what he was doing to me; running my hands across his perfect body, embracing him.

I had to stop.

I took my hands off of his still bare chest, and pulled away from his lips. Before he could do anything to stop me I was out the door and down the stairs.

I heard him close behind me. "Where are you going?!" He asked, still afraid that I'd leave him.

He cornered me in the living room.

"Bam, I can't get attached to you like that."

"Why not?" He asked, coming closer. I backed up into a wall.

"Ville, this is what you want, and this is what I want."

"What if it doesn't work out." I whispered.

He stopped. He looked at me now, his eyes curious. "What?"

"I don't want you to use me and throw me away." I admitted with a whisper, looking down at the floor.

His lips spread into a smile. "Ville, I'm afraid of letting you out of my sight for a second, and your worried about me dumping you?! I wouldn't dare,"

He inched closer. "I want you bad." He whispered.

I searched his face, trying to find reason to doubt him. Trying to find the sign that read that he was lying, that he was unsure of what he wanted. The look in his eyes reflected nothing but how confident he was with his words.

He gave me a peck on the lips. "Is that sure enough for you?"

I nodded my head. "I love you Bam."

He wrapped his arms around me. "I love you too Ville."

We both jumped when the sharp ring cut through the air.

Bam dug for the cell phone in his pocket. "Hello?"

He listened for a second. "Oh, hey Ape."

April. Last I had seen her she was putting on a smile. I wondered then how real it was. I mean, I took Bam away from the wedding. Not to mention I was at his house the few days after the wedding when April visited. Of course it had to be awkward. But she seemed so kind and understanding about it. Could it be she just accepted the fact that maybe I was a little bit closer to Bam than she had thought before?

I shook away my thoughts and walked over to the couch where Bam was now laying.

He looked bored at whatever it was that Mrs. Margera was saying. I got on the couch next to him. Then I smiled. I crawled on top of him, gently pressing my lips against his cheek. After all, this was what we wanted. His eyes widened. He froze up a bit, and tried harder to listen to April. I pouted. The desire was taking over and I no longer wanted to deny myself of what I've wanted to do for so long. Waiting was not an option here. I bend down and pressed my lips against his, gently licking them. He nearly dropped the phone. He turned his face away. "Aw, yeah." Bam squeaked in response to something his mother had said. I smiled.

I rubbed my body against his, both of us hard now.

"I want you now." I whispered.

He bit his bottom lip. Mmm, his lip. I licked my own lips and went after his. He held a hand in front of his face, shielding himself long enough to tell April he had to go. I tried again and ended up on the floor. He looked down at me apologetically.

"sorry." He mouthed.

He said his final words of goodbye.

He pressed a button and dropped the phone onto the floor.

He got down on the floor and crawled over to where I had been dropped.

"There's something called patience. Have any?" he grinned.

"It's not my fault you had to be so hot right then." I said simply.

"Lying on the couch bored to tears on the phone with my mother looked attractive?" He asked in disbelief.

"You have no idea." I sighed in pleasure.

He jumped me then. He pushed me onto my back and positioned himself on top of me. He looked down at my face. "Then how attractive is this?" He asked curiously.

"Too attractive to bare." I whispered, pulling his body as close to mine as I could.

He pressed his warm lips against my own. His sweet, sweet lips. I was more than turned on at the moment, and surprisingly he seemed to be as well. He slipped his hands inside my shirt, feeling up my torso. I tried not to squirm at the tickle and instead focused on our moving lips. He pulled away for a second to pull my shirt off over my head, and attacked me again with his lips, a continuation to our long kiss. He was admiring my upper body graciously. He pulled away and tugged on my belt. I felt it loosen, unbuckling. He got my jeans undone. I kicked off my sneakers and socks before he proceeded to pulling off my jeans, stripping me down to my boxers. He was much easier to get undressed. He wasn't warring much but the soft black pants from this morning. He slipped out of them and kissed me hard.

Bam

Oh god he was beautiful. He looked up at me, his eyes wild with desire. He was getting impatient, looking at me with a pleading face, begging me to take him. His lust filled eyes sparkled when I rubbed against him.

I gently ran my finger across the few stitches he had on his stomach. He was so breakable. I made a mental note to be careful; I didn't want to hurt his sensitive stomach more. Still, knowing that he was so fragile was a thrill. He slapped my hand away and shielded his stitches with a hand. I rolled my eyes and went for something of more interest.

I started to slip the boxers off of him. He closed his eyes. We were both being shy.

I bend down and poked my tongue out, until the tip of my tongue met the head of his hard on. I moved my tongue in circles, grinning a bit at how bad I was teasing him. Ville closed his eyes tighter. I opened my mouth to let his hard on slid in. I heard a little gasp come from him as I sucked. He thrust a little and I sucked harder.

He was so good.

"Stop, stop." He pleaded, about to cum.

I turned him onto his stomach.

He knew more than I that it would hurt him.

I slipped two fingers into him first, to let him get used to it. He made sounds of both pleasure and dislike.

"Brace yourself." I warned. He tensed.

I thrust myself hard into him, trying to make getting inside him as painless as possible. He gasped.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

I grabbed his hips and started thrusting, moving in and out of my love.

We moaned at the strange sensation of pleasure, barely able to contain the sounds from getting too loud. There was nobody home but it all felt so wrong that we were afraid to be heard anyways. I went faster and he moaned my name, sending a chill down my spine. I suddenly loved my name right then. I was getting close to orgasm.

"Ah! Bam, I love you." He whispered.

And that triggered it. I released a steady flow of my warm cum into him. He gasped again, and he came too, sending another shiver down my spine.

Then, I heard the door slam.

I couldn't tell whether I was feeling guilty and hearing things. "What was that?" I whispered.

"What?"

"Oh fuck, I think I heard the door slam."

"Ignore it." He whispered.

"But--"

"OH MY GOD!!!"

My head snapped in the direction of the voice and I already knew I was busted. I was frozen in horror.

April.

Yum. To be continued. Please review. Funny, the song Rendezvous With Anus (the HIM version) came on when I was editing this. Never heard it? Sex. That's all I have to say, lol.