Anywway, big thank yous to the Dib/ZimLove list AGAIN for their mad support of this fic-I love you all, we're all getting married in Utah someday. And an ultra big pimpwalkin' Peepi domo to Dani (AKA Hypterintelligent Shade of Blue-go read her stuff, it rocks it out old skool!) for late night conversations, inspiration, ans sweet sweet lemon tea. ^_~
Title: And Youre Mary Tyler Moore?
Author: Jibaku-chan
Summary: Dib comes up with an interesting plan to be able to go to the school dance with Zim undetected. To the song "Buddy Holly" by mad flash rock gods Weezer (I love you Rivers! Mwah!)
Warnings: Slashy of course. Drag!
"Zim...we cant."
"I do not care about what you THINK we can do, Dib."
Dib shuddered inwardly. Zim was getting angry. Things could inevitbly only get worse from here. He cupped his hand over the mouthpeice of the phone, whispering urgently "Look, Zim. You cant GO to school dances with otehr boys. Earth kids cant do that."
Zim's voice took on its professional tone, the tone of an Irken Invader slighted. A tone Dib had come to dread. "It is apart of my mission to appear as Earthen as possible, Dib."
"Yeah, but-"
"And it is a common occurence for earth children to attend theese..school dances, is it not?"
Dib sighed, sweating bullets. He wasnt going to win this one. Still, he tried. "Well, yeah, but-"
"So it stands to reason, DIB, that I should go. And I refuse to go with an earthen female-they smell funny. I want to go with YOU."
Dib sighed. "I-wait a second." He turned to see Gaz running into the kitchen with a 60's flip wig on. He smiled. "Getting ready for the dance a little early, Gaz?"
She snorted. "Like I'd even waste my time at that stupid childrens even. Im going trick-or-treating."
"Oh. Are you going as Mary Tyler Moore?"
"Nope." She pulled a large, shiny knife out of the butcher block and admired the blade. "Serial Mom."
Dib blinked then shook his head. "Im sure Mrs. Petersen will love it...if she's recovered from last Halloween, anyway..."
Gaz glared at him. "That was your fault. YOURE the one who was so obsessed with that dumb movie."
He glared back. "Yeah, well how was I supposed to know she'd believe you had burst out of my chest? Its just-" He stopped. "Hold on a second." He whispered into the phone. "Zim, I think I figured out how we can do this...Ill be over in an hour."
"Good. Ill see you then. Goodbye, Dib."
"Seeya, Zim." He hung up, then turned to his little sister, his best pleading look on his face. "Gaaaaaaaz-zy...how much do I have to pay you to get you to leave that wig at home tonight?"
-
They walked to the school in silence, hand in hand. Dib kept glancing over at Zim, who was staring off into the distance. He tried to speak a few times, but it was useless. they were both to nervous about what was about to happen. What if they were discovered...or worse...
Dib shook his head. This wasnt the night to worry about such things. they stopped at the gym doors. He squeezed Zim's hand. "Ready?"
Zim furrowed his eyebrows. "I feel odd in theese clothes."
"You look cute."
Zim blushed. "What is this called, again?"
Dib laughed. "Its called an angora sweater. That's a plaid skirt-" He paused and tapped Zim's head, grinning a little. "And this is a flip. Tonight, your name is Mary Tyler Moore. My gosh, im brilliant sometimes..."
Zim nodded. "Code names, very good. What is yours, Dib?"
Dib brushed his hands over his dark suit and pushed his glasses up his nose. "Just call me Buddy Holly." He took Zim by the hand and led the way inside.
("What's with these homies dissin' my girl,
Why do they gotta front?
What did we ever do to these guys
That made them so violent?")
"Oh! Weezer!" Dib got happy as they walked in.
"What is this...Weezer?"
"Theyre a good band. You might like it." The lights were blaring. The punch was probaly weak, and the Dj was an annoying high-schooler with a Casio mixer. But as long as the music was good, he'd be okay. He smiled over at Zim, who finally smiled back at him, makiong his heart skip a beat. He really did look cute...it wasnt the femininity as much as how shy he looked. He just wanted to...well, that could wait untill afterwards.
At that second, as in most magic moments that could stand to last forever, three large blundering jocks swaggered up to Dib. One of them snorted. He was dressed as Al Capone, the other two as hitmen. "Whhatchoo doin' here, Dibby? With a GURL, no less?"
The otehr two snickered. "Yeah, Dibby, we aint never seen her before. Is she an ALIEN?"
Dib gulped nervously. Unfortunately, Zim picked this moment to speak up.
"I am Mary Tyler Moore! Now return to your putrid punch, stinkbeast, or I will use your organs as vacuum attachments!" he/she snarled in a high falsetto, finger pointing straight at the nose of the lead boy.
They backed up, hands raised. "oooo-kay...um, enjoy the dance, yeah...freaks..."
Zim turned to Dib, a satisfied smile on his face. "I did good, yes?"
Dib rubbed his bright red face, then smiled back at Zim. "Yeah. Let's dance."
"Dance." Zim glanced at the otehr couples moving about on the floor. "We did something liek this on Irk...do you have spears?"
Dib shook his head. "Come on, Zim, Ill lead."
("Woo-hoo, but you know I'm yours
Woo-hoo, and I know you're mine
Woo-hoo, and that's for all time
Woo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly
Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler More
I don't care what they say about us anyway
I don't care 'bout that")
Dib wrapped his arms around Zim's neck. Zim studied him curiously. "Why do you do that?"
"We;re dancing. Put your arms around my waist." Dib grinned at Zim's carefull placement of his hands- lightly around the waist, no where NEAR anything bad. He pulled Zim closer. "Now sway, like this, see?"
"Oh." Zim grinned. "This is not too difficult. Earthen mating rituals are quite odd."
Dib turned bright red. "Mating...right." They slowly swayed around eachotehr in circles. His ears pricked. He was aware of the kids around him, murmuring and giggling. He had done his best to turn Zim's natural green hue pale with facepaint, and he was just praying noone noticed the lack of ears or nose...still, he knew it was unusual to see him with a girl. And although he thought Zim was beautiful, he could certianly see what other people would think...
Zim was aware of it too. "Why are they whispering?"
"I dont know and I dont care." Dib gave him a little squeeze. "Tonight youre mine, and as long as you are nothing bad can happen to us. I promise."
Zim blushed a little. "What are you worried about, Dib?"
"Not a thing." His eyes were dreamy. Despite the tauning and whispering of the kids, it was still his first dance with Zim. "Besides, Im not Dib tonight. Im Buddy Holly and youre Mary Tyler Moore...so who cares what they say about us?"
"Im not sure I understand...but alright."
("Don't you ever fear, I'm always near
I know that you need help
Your tongue is twisted your eyes are slit
You need a guardian'")
Dib held Zim close, blushing at the feel of his small body agasint his. Zim really was a tiny thing. Ever since they had gotten together, Dib had noticed Zim's honest, wide-eyed innocence on how this world worked. No matter how old Zim was on Irk, he was a chlid on Earth and acted like it. Even something as simple as a school dance was completely beyond his comprehension. Dib had gone from pursuer to steadfast guirdian, intent on showing him how to live a life on Earth.
("Woo-hoo, but you know I'm yours
Woo-hoo, and I know you're mine
Woo-hoo, and that's for all time")
The fact that they were in love...well ,that was an aded bonus. He loved to guide Zim through an Earth relationship, and Zim seemed enthusiastic about learning. It seemed that affection on Irk was hard to come by to say the least. He was a shy starter, but soon they were closer then anything. They belonged to eachother completely, and nothing could come between them.
("Woo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly
Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler More
I don't care what they say about us anyway
I don't care 'bout that")
They began to dance faster, putting a little space between them. Dib hopped up and down as Zim struggled to hang on. "I cannot hold you if youre jumping, Dib!"
"Okay!" He grabbed Zim around the waist and swung him wildly. "We'll dance like this then, Mary!"
"Augh!" Zim laughed and tried to squirm away. "Buddy Holly, youv'e gone mad! Let me go! People will talk!"
"Who cares?" Dib laughed and dipped Zim-
causing his wig to fly off and reveal the antenna underneath.
They froze, aware of the eyes of everyone else in the room. Laughter bubbled out of the corners of the gym, burning Dib's ears like acid. He grabbed Zim by the ahnd and they bolted for the door.
("Bang! Bang a knock on the door
Another big bang and you're down on the floor
Oh no! What do we do
Don't look now but I lost my shoe")
"Ow!" They collided into the door, making two muffled thumps. Dib moaned, rubbing his head. he held a hand out to Zim, who was flat o nthe gorund. He helped him up, then slipped and fell to his knees. The kids giggled and catcalled. the door creaked open, and they both crawled out, Dib leaving his loafer behind in the melee.
("I can't run and I can't kick
What's a matter babe are you feelin' sick
What's a matter, what's a matter, what's a matter you?
What's a matter babe, are you feelin' blue? Oh-oh!")
"Owww..." Dib stopped runnign and started to limp.
"What is it?" Zim turned back to Dib. "Are you okay?"
"I think I hurt my knee...I cant run anymore."
"Alright." Zim walked back and scooped Dib up, then continued jogging. Dib blinked. For a little guy, Zim was very strong...
("Woo-hoo, but you know I'm yours
Woo-hoo, and I know you're mine
Woo-hoo, and that's for all time")
They burst into the parking lt. It had gotten alot colder. Dib shivered in Zim's arms. Zim growled. "Mock us, will they? I will rain doom down on them like a radioactive doom cloud! Watch my doom, Dib, watch and respond!"
"Will do." They stopped at the playground. Zim carried Dib up the wooden stairs into a jungle-gym. They settled there, shivering against the cold.
"Here." Dib took off his jacket and threw it around them both. They snuggled against eachother. He sighed. "I guess we should stay up here untill the dumb dance is over and those kids go home..."
Zim nodded in agreement, then popped out his contacts. "Damned scrtachy things...you know, Dib, the evening did not go that badly. The music was loud and annoying..."
"Yeah."
"The kids were a constant irritation..."
"God, yes."
"The lights hurt my eyes..."
"Mine too."
"But..." Zim smiled and pulled Dib back into his lap, stroking his hair. "I was with you. I liked dancing, I want to do it again sometime."
Dib laughed. "I think we can do that..."
("Woo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly
Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler More
I don't care what they say about us anyway
I don't care 'bout that")
"Cmere." Dib tugged Zim's arm. "Just stop poking my head a moment, and duck down here...someone will see you, you know, you arent in your costume."
"I dont care." Nevertheless, Zim laid down next to Dib. He laid the jacket over them like a blanket. "The stars are beautiful tonight."
"Yeah..." They alid side by side, breaths clouding in the air. "Zim?"
"What?"
"Do you really not care about what those kid's say?"
"No, not at all."
"Thats good...Monday is going to be hell for us."
"I know." Zim sighed. "It will. Monday, however, is far away. tonight is all that matters. And tonight..."
Dib kissed Zim on the cheek. He made a face at the taste of the powder, then wiped a clean place on Zim's cheek. "I dont care what they say about us anyway. No, i dont care about that..."
"More Weezer?"
"Ill play it for you when we get home."
-end-
Yeah, thats it. Kinda silly, kinda fun...Imagining Zim in an angora sweater was just too funny for me. Im still trying to draw it. Anyway, if you liked it, im glad, and if you didnt...well, I wouldnt blame you. -_-;; But I hope y'all enjoyed it anyway...
Jibaku-chan
*Proud supporter of IZ slash!*
"Open your heart. Straddle the fence. Obey the fist."
Jibaku-chan
*Proud supporter of IZ slash!*
"Open your heart. Straddle the fence. Obey the fist."