A/N: Thanks to my sis for reading this first chapter over and correcting as much as you did. I suck at spelling and all that jazz, love you hon! If anyone gets around to reading this, I wouldn't mind a review or eighty –winks-.

Dedicated to Sydney, who though technically no longer my friend did inspired me to write this. Thanks Syd.

Disclaimer- These characters are not mine, I just play with them when JKRowling isn't looking.

Chapter one - Wavering Strength

"Mr. Potter, are you even paying attention?"

There was a pause as Harry Potter, sitting at the front of his Transfiguration classroom, heard his name being called. He considered whether it would be worth it to lift his gaze from the tabletop. He eventually decided he didn't care if it was which only served to confuse his professor more. Usually an attentive and respectful student this rude attitude was completely new.

"Mr. Potter. The least I expect from my students is acknowledgement of my presence, if you cannot even manage that I will assign you a detention for you to consider your behaviour here." Professor McGonagall stated coolly.

Harry managed to reign in his thoughts. He forced himself to remember that he respected this woman a great deal and told himself she was right to demand his attention. He brought glazed eyes up and focused them on her face.

"Yes?" He finally managed. Seated beside him Ron and Hermione exchanged a worried glance.

"May I have a word in private please?" Asked the Professor, her voice now seemed concerned. She gestured to the corridor.

"Of course Professor," he answered. Placing his hands on the desk he levered himself up and moved to take a step towards the door. He stumbled and Ron was there in a moment to steady him with a hand on the elbow. Harry gave him a wan smile and allowed his best friend to guide him to the door.

Once outside the class Harry gestured the other boy back. Ron looked as though he'd like to argue, but with a glance at the Transfiguration teacher, he retreated.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Ever since the end of the war McGonagall had been calling him by his first name whenever they were outside the classroom but it never failed to surprise him. "You've been acting strangely since the beginning of term over a month ago. I am far from the only one that's worried either. Your friends have both talked to me about your uncharacteristic behaviour over summer break," McGonagall's face was strangely unguarded, sadly Harry wasn't looking at her face. He was intently examining his own hands.

"It started at the end of last year, whatever it is," Harry muttered.

"You've been like this since you defeated V-him?" she asked quietly.

"It's just a name Professor, Voldemort won't hurt anyone ever again," Harry murmured.

"I know Harry, I know…" she said.

"Professor?" Harry prompted as she paused, to gather her thoughts, "Could we go back to class now? I don't like to give people too much to whisper about."

"Are you still having problems with the Slytherins Mr. Potter?" she demanded, forgetting their recent familiarity in her sudden severity.

"Nothing like that Professor, not since before the war ended. It's still a little awkward, naturally. I'm certain all the whispers are concerned ones now," Harry reassured.

"All right Harry if you're sure. There's nothing you would like to talk about at the moment?" she prompted gently.

"No Professor," with that he returned to the classroom.

Halfway to his seat Harry stumbled again. It wasn't his best friend that saved him from a fall this time, but an almost as familiar figure. Harry put a hand to his head as though that would stop the encroaching migraine.

"Thanks Malfoy," he said quietly,

He felt the hand on his elbow tighten momentarily as the other boy's whole body tensed. Harry looked at him curiously, but Malfoy just shook his head with a quiet, "No problem Potter."

"All right class," spoke McGonagall, once more at the head of the class, "Your homework for tonight is a two-foot-long essay on Self-Transfiguration, that is all."

The students gathered their things and filed out of the classroom. The last to leave were Harry and his two friends. None of the three looked up to see the blonde figure pause at the door and glance back with a worried expression.

They left the room with Hermione carrying Harry's things as well her own and Ron hovering near his elbow should he stumble again. They made it to the Fat Lady's portrait without mishap. Hermione quietly spoke the password and Ron led the way to the comfortable chairs near the fireplace. Harry collapsed into the middle chair and remained slouched.

"How was it today Harry?" Hermione asked gently.

"Worse than usual… I could hardly get up his morning…every part of me hurt, hurts… Ron had to help me get dressed," Harry answered quietly, Ron nodded beside him.

"But yesterday was so good-"

"You know how it goes 'Mione," He cut her off tiredly, "One day I'm perfectly happy, the next I'm swamped by depression. Then I bounce back and forth until I'm exhausted," he gestured to his current state, his hand shook as he held it to his temple and closed his eyes. "There is something really wrong guys. I haven't mentioned this before but-" he paused to hiss out a breath between his teeth, "I've had thoughts of suicide."

"Don't say that Harry. Please."

"You know I won't Ron. They, these thoughts, they just came out of nowhere. I- Merlin. I would never actually do it. It's like my head isn't even my own. I thought that ended with Voldemort." Hermione frowned at that but Ron beat her to speak again.

"I couldn't stand to lose you Harry. What would I do without you? Who would 'Mione and I save the world with?" Ron tried weakly to pass it off as a joke. Harry could see the desperation in his eyes though, and hear the tremor in his voice.

"Don't worry Ron I'm not going anywhere, I couldn't leave the saving of the world to you guys. You would have no one to follow into danger, nothing would ever get done," Harry responded with a small grin.

Ron chuckled lightly before turning to Harry, serious once more, "Promise?"

"Promise."

I hope.

End Chapter One

A/N: So here's the first chapter, I just revised it and changed some wording, over all made it flow better. If you're just reading this for the first time I suppose you won't know the difference but I hope you like it anyways.

Leave a review, it'll make me smile.

DerangedxandxSarcastic