Disclaimer: All characters belong to Janet Evanovich.

Special Kuddos: goes to Stayce for her encouragement to write this story myself and for introducing me to the one and only Kashy. Thank you Kashy, editor extraordinaire, for your hand holding and coddling. I couldn't do this without you.

Warnings: Rated R Adult language and situations, angst, violence and character death

Hindsight

By Jeannie (Devka)

Prologue

Present day...

It's said that your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die and in the nanosecond of that fleeting thought, Stephanie Plum realized that it was true. She knew that her next breath could, and probably would, be her last.

Even Ranger couldn't save her this time.

Although she saw her whole life speed by in only moments, the past two months flashed before her in a dizzying array of colors, sounds, smells and faces.

She saw Joe's handsome face, beaming smile and slight dimple as he scooped her up in his arms, hugging her to him and swung her into the air while Bob barked and bounced happily around their feet.

Her family didn't hug, kiss or show outward emotions, yet she could feel the love her mother baked into the dishes she prepared. She could smell the lasagna and could all but taste the pineapple upside down cake her mother baked, which never failed to entice her to make an appearance for dinner regardless of the bedlam which usually accompanied each meal.

She remembered how, as a little girl, her grandmother had always encouraged her to be brave and daring, to try new things and live life to its fullest.

She felt her father's presence when he walked into her room at night to tuck her into bed and smelled his Old Spice aftershave as he bent down to kiss her on the forehead before turning out her bedside lamp.

She felt the softness of her little niece Lisa's skin and smelled her sweet scent as she lifted her from the tub after helping her sister, Valerie, bathe her and realized with deep despair that she didn't leave behind any kind of legacy of her own.

No one would remember her as a person; she would best be remembered for the number of cars and buildings she had blown up and the times she was covered in garbage, Vaseline and muck from chasing after the skips she was determined to bring to justice.

Her last thought though was of Ranger. She saw her friendship with him deepening as he shared more of himself with her, allowing her little glimpses into his life. She noticed how he really listened to her when she spoke and was interested in what she had to say. She saw the desire in his eyes when he gazed into her own and watched as they traveled the length of her body, pausing at the pulse in her neck as if hypnotized by its throb, she remembered how his gaze would touch upon her breasts and she would feel her nipples contract into little pebbles just from that simple glance.

She felt, smelled, tasted and experienced all of this in only a few moments and realized with full clarity what it all meant. This was it, there was no locking herself into the bathroom to hide from the inevitable, no denial and no "do over's".

Her lungs were burning with fire yet she had never before, in her entire life, been so cold. What she was experiencing now was far worse than her horrific nightmares had ever been of being buried alive.

Somehow she'd always known her death would be like this, that she would die alone with no one around to comfort her while she drew her last breath. She had regrets. Too many to name, but the biggest one was the realization that she never told those she loved the most how deeply she loved and cared for each one of them. She would never hear Ranger's words of encouragement and pride as he said "Proud of you Babe". They would never know how very sorry she was. She knew she had let them all down and with one last sob and a deep shudder she gasped for a breath of fresh air and found there was none to be had.

TBC