Disclaimer- I don't own HP, if I did, you can bet that Fred and Dobby would have lived. Harry might not have… er, anyway.
A/N- This chapter goes back to when Filch first became attracted to Madame Pince as well as why he hasn't yet 'wooed' her.
Summary- In exchange for not giving them detention, Fred and George teach Filch a few Muggle magic tricks. Takes place sometime before HP1.
A/N- The end of this is a bit off, because even though I could see the scene in my head, I couldn't figure out exactly how to word it. I may revamp it later and then repost it, I don't know. I'm moving on to another story that I like better than this one.
Chapter 2- Of Daffodils, Plastic Wands, and Puddles of Goo"This is our library," Professor Dumbledore said. "Madame Pince, our librarian, does most of the care taking in here- I'm told that she doesn't trust anyone else with her books- but she may on occasion solicit your help."
The headmaster rattled on, unaware or perhaps uncaring that his new caretaker was no longer listening to his words.
Argus Filch hadn't stopped listening out of disrespect, but more because he'd been struck by an image of beauty. She was radiant, tall and slim with a bit of a birdlike face. She was repairing a battered copy of 'Theories of Transubstantial Transfiguration,' tending to the worn pages and binding almost lovingly, as if this was her only purpose in life and if she made one mistake her life would end.
He was startled to find that his throat was suddenly quite dry. She glanced up and he looked away quickly, hoping that she didn't notice him staring at her. Not for the first time in his life, he wished that he hadn't been born a squib. He wanted to stride over and do something to impress her, but he could think of nothing that was good enough that didn't involve magic.
His cat, Ms. Norris, slunk around his feet and shot him a look as if she knew what he was thinking. She mewed in a cross sort of way, perhaps to remind him that she'd never minded that he was a squib and that she'd always been good enough for him before. He picked her up and stroked her absently as he resumed watching Madame Pince as she added a few extra security measures to the book; bewitching it to return on it's due-date, perhaps, or maybe to beat its reader over the head should it be written on.
Dumbledore finally noticed the object of Filch's attention. He smiled merrily at the thought.
"I believe she likes Daffodils," he said airily, and resumed his tour of the school grounds.
Filch shook out of his stupor and followed. Had the headmaster just said that? He couldn't be sure. Still, Dumbledore was supposed to be the greatest wizard of the century, so maybe he'd noticed. Not like it was a jealously guarded secret. And, the bit about her favorite flowers had given him an idea.
That Valentine's Day, and every Valentine's Day after that, Madame Pince entered her office to find a large bouquet of daffodils sitting on her desk. She never knew who sent them, because there was never even a note, but they made her happy to know that at least someone thought of her.
Several years after that, the flowers began to appear on Christmas and her birthday as well. She wanted to find out whom they were from after that. She'd even asked Professor Sprout if she knew, as the flowers would have come from one of the greenhouses, but Pomona had just said that she had no idea.
And back to the present, where the Weasley twins have been teaching Filch the use of Muggle Magic tricks!
"You're sure this will work?" Filch asked the two troublemakers. "Do you think this will make her love me?"
"Well…"
"We don't know about love…"
"Women are hard to comprehend, you know."
"But it should impress her,"
"Unless of course she's heartless."
"Which she obviously isn't."
They headed to the door. "We should be leaving now."
They headed out. "Let us know how it works out!"
"Wait!" They stopped and turned. "I do feel it necessary to warn you- no one is to know of this."
"Right, gotcha," they said, and immediately beat a retreat.
Once they were safely in their common room, George fixed his brother with an icy stare.
"And just why are we helping Filch get lucky?"
Fred sighed. "Georgie, Georgie, Georgie." He shook his head. "Don't you realize that if Filch has a girl he'll have less time to punish the students? He might even be less bitter!"
Madame Pince had grown accustomed to her bouquet of daffodils on her birthday, so she entered her office expecting to see them as always. She was quite surprised to find that instead of her usual flowers, Argus Filch was leaning on her desk, his hand wrapped around something in his pocket. She blinked a few times before regaining her composure.
"Argus. What a surprise. What are you doing here?"
He straightened up, suddenly nervous.
"I, er, uh, I- I wanted to give you these." He took a black wand out of his pocket. He bowed and flourished it, and it changed into a bouquet of daffodils- her birthday bouquet.
Her breath caught in her throat. Suddenly everything made sense- how he'd gotten the daffodils without Sprout's knowledge and how he'd gotten them in her office without her knowledge: he was the caretaker, he had keys to everywhere! She was so delighted to have all her answers that she couldn't help but laugh a little.
Filch felt horrible. He'd been aware that she might not like him, but he'd always thought that she had enough tact not to laugh.
Madame Pince noticed Filch's face all and stopped laughing.
"Oh, please don't feel bad, Argus," she reassured him. "I'm not laughing at you. It's just that I've waited so long to find out who's been sending me these flowers every year, and now I find that the answer was right under my nose the whole time." She smiled at him, and he melted into a puddle of goo on the floor.
Once she had scooped him up and put him back together, he slipped his arms around her waist.
"I was hoping that when I finally managed to tell you you'd be happy."
"You should have said something years ago," she whispered, and leaned in to kiss him.
I think we'll leave them there. This is, after all, pretty private.
Oh, and the twins were right. After Filch got the girl, so to speak, he was less bitter and mean. Which just goes to show how bitter he was beforehand, because we all know how bitter he is in the books.
Fin.