A/N: YAY PLOT! I spent awhile working out the actual storyline I'm going to start following. As I said, the questions will stop playing such a big part, though PLEASE SEND THEM IN, as at THIS stage, they are still hugely important, and not getting any makes Iggy cry.

PLZ NOTE: Tomo is going away soon, and may not be able to update for some time. December/January is always a really busy time for me, as I spend most of it at my nana's house, where I only get an hour on the computer a day. I will see what I can do about updating, but DO NOT COUNT ON IT UNTIL MID-JANUARY. Then I will be home, in severe writing withdrawal, and looking to finish this AWESOME plot lol. YAY.

Warning: EXTREME COOLNESS.

PLZ NOTE 2: If you send in a question, a physical description of some kind, preferably including gender, would be just dandy. You will see why when you read this chapter.

Disclaimer: OwnNo.

Fang's Fun Friendly Help Column

"Great. We're trapped." Fang groaned. The door had vanished predictable, and they were left in a black room that appeared to be entirely empty. And then, something living brushed against his arm.

"Something just touched my arm!" Fang yelled, jumping.

"Me too!" Iggy wailed. Fang waited, prepared to kick whatever it was if it came back. He didn't have to wait long; a strong hand grasped tightly onto his forearm. Fang swung around, his leg hammering backwards into something. There was a loud cry Fang recognised, and he sighed.

"Iggy, please let go of my arm."

"Don't... bloody... kick." Iggy hissed, staggering to his feet. Fang was looking around pointlessly in the darkness, when a loud hiss erupted behind him, and he whirled around.

The barren black wall the computer had once been facing (It appeared to have vanished the way of the door) was slowly lowering, a stream of light and fog pouring into the room. Fang approached it warily, Iggy following, still clutching his stomach.

The wall hissed up, opening to reveal a small passageway, only leading a few feet, with a figure standing at the end of it. Mistaking her for Tomo, Fang charged, but as soon as he grew close, it became apparent that this was someone else. By the way her t-shirt said kaylormonkey, he was guessing this was her.

She was clearly a hologram, with brown hair that was easily seen through, and freckles dotting her face. As Fang stared, what was clearly a recording of her played. She was smiling excitedly, love for Fang (Iggy not quiiite so much) shining clearly in her eyes. Her mouth opened and the girl began to speak, the voice grainy as though off an old record.

"Fang,

Would you rather your last meal be:

A. Hot, fresh, sodo-muffins from Iggy.

or

B. Iggy's titty-sprinkles.

Yum.

Xoxoxo,

Haley"

Fang rubbed the sides of his head exasperatedly. He was considering just ignoring it, when a voice rung through the halls.

"I'd answer her if I were you. It's the only way out." Came Tomo's voice, glee evident in her tones. "And quite a delicious question, might I add."

"Fine." Fang groaned. Tomo had them beaten here. "Titty sprinkles. Sodomy would be painful."

The hologram smiled, and then flickered, and the wall ahead slid into the ground with many gravelly, crunching sounds. The walls of the passageway were gritty and concrete, though they had a greenish tint to them, which looked like it could have been added by moss. Iggy and Fang went ahead, before coming to the next wall. Fang groaned. Here there was no hologram, but a console set into the wall. Upon it's screen sat the next question.

dear fang,

admit you atleast find max attractive let alone constantly ressit the urge to fuck her. and iggy too. but max more. becuase your biness hasnt reached its maximum gay point yet. right?

sunybee

Fang closed his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to calm down. This was intolerable. Utterly insane. When he got his hands on her, Tomo was going to be killed.

sunybee

I don't want to fuck anyone right now. I want to escape. Besides, Max isn't here to find attractive. You are sick people, keeping us trapped like that.

Fang

When he hit the enter key, there was another grinding crunch, and the wall sank. Fang and Iggy leaped over it as soon as they could, sprinting for the next wall. This one too, held a console. Clearly, not everyone had offered a visual of themselves.

Dear Fang,

What would you prefer,

a) a game of strip chess with Iggy in the candlelight?

b) a game of "tickle my pickle" with Iggy?

c) some hanky panky with Iggy under the blankets?

d) a peice of Iggy pie?

P.S. I don't object to threesomes...

unauthorisedbooknerd

Fang actually growled slightly. These people were all insane! He hammered hard on the keys, as though he could punish them for this.

unauthorisedbooknerd.

I didn't know you needed authorisation to be a book nerd.

Iggy cooks nice pie. I fancy some of that now. Thanks a lot.

Fang

Again, the wall grumbled away, and they dashed forward, to the next console. Iggy could hear Fang's teeth grinding as he read it.

Dear Fang

So... When are you and Iggy getting together?

Alexandrea Isabelle Ride

Alex

Never.

Fang.

It was short, and the machine froze up for a second, but then the wall was going down, and Fang sighed with relief. They ran on, coming to the next wall. This one had a hologram, a redheaded girl of around fifteen, with a smile on her face. Her plain white t-shirt was inscribed in black with the simple block words "The Pink Darkness". She smiled hesitantly, then started to speak.

"Fang-

You strike me as the pudding type. Ever considered having a threesome in pudding? With Max & Iggy? Pudding + Threesome One Sticky, Hot Sexi Session

-Rose"

Fang rubbed his face in horror. This was a nightmare. Beyond a nightmare.

"No, I haven't, Rose. I'll keep it in mind though." There was a rumble, and The Pink Darkness vanished. Fang and Iggy hurried to the next wall, which also had a hologram. This one was of a Native American girl, with black hair, and curiously, a tail and ears. Her t-shirt was inscribed with the word kogasha She began to speak, grinning minxishly as she did so.

"Fang,

I know you want to get in Iggy's pants. But here's one thing I don't know. Do you watch him while he's in the shower?

- Cookie"

Fang wanted to pull her ears and tail clean off. Ugh.

"NO, I do not. I DO NOT WANT IN IGGY'S PANTS!"

"I feel loved." Iggy said dryly from behind Fang, as kogasha and the wall vanished.

"What, it's not like you want me in your pants." Fang snorted, raising an eyebrow. Iggy just raised one of his own, and Fang blinked. "Please tell me you don't want me in your pants, Iggy. I'm begging you."

Iggy just shrugged, heading off towards the next wall, this one only housing a console.

dear fangy,

how many times have you screwed iggy? exactly HOW MUCH did you love iggy in those leather panties??

forbala

Fang hesitated, before putting fingers to keys. He didn't know why he was being so truthful, but what Iggy had just said had shaken him. Could there be anything between him and Iggy? Was it even possible? He sighed, and typed quickly, glad Iggy couldn't see or hear the answer to this one.

forbala

I haven't screwed him. But... I think I like the leather panties. They make his arse look gorgeous.

Fang.

It was a risky move, and Fang knew it, but he hit the enter key anyway, and the wall crunched open. To Fang's surprise, this was not more empty corridor. There were refreshments here; food and drink, and Fang was incredibly grateful for them. As he and Iggy ran to replenish their energy, Fang found a note on the pie.

Fang

Truthfulness is rewarded. Remember that when you get tired and fancy a bed.

Tomo.

Fang had no idea what to think of the note, so he just tossed it aside, and chose to stuff his face, rather than dwell on it. Once they were full, Fang went over to the next wall, the hologram sparking to life at once.

A spark of anger was born behind Fang's eyes as he saw the name on her t-shirt; danceswithwings119. She was tall and tan, with long black hair, and a large book under one arm. She smiled knowingly at Fang, and began to speak.

"For your information, Fang, maybe I ask you questions because your funny and I'll never get a chance to talk to you or the flock! Oh and by the way you totally admitted that Iggy's ass is hot! Okay question time. You really don't like Max at all? I mean Iggy is indeed one of the hottest most irresistible people on the planet, but still. I mean, you kissed her and everything! What's going on with you two?"

Fang rubbed his face for what felt like the hundredth time before replying. "Max and I decided it wouldn't work. We just don't have the time for a relationship. Besides... It wouldn't work anyway." Fang winced, practically hearing Tomo's snide remark about Iggy but it didn't come, instead, he was met by the familiar grinding of the door, and the flicker of the vanishing hologram. He looked at Iggy, and together the two of them stepped through to the next chamber, cute little botties swaying in their tight leather panties.

A/N: THAT IS ALL FOR THIS TIME! YAAAAY! I only have a short teaser for next time, just ONE LINE, but I think you will love it. Keep sending those questions in!

Fang could practically hear Tomo's smile. "This." She said. "Is the Drag chamber."

And now some review responses! BWAHAHA!

kogasha: Sorry I didn't use the outfit you requested, but I want everyone to be dressed the same. Like evil clones only not. :D

Jacky06: Contrary to what seems to be popular belief, Fang/Iggy is actually a common pairing, one of my friends is writing a long Fang/Iggy fanfic (Up to chapter 13 now I think), and I have a couple others of my own posted on here :) And yeah, I'm a character haha. Exciting, no?

Well bye! See you all when I get home! -waves-