Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club

The End is Near

"Kaoru, I heard you talking to somebody and I heard you moaning out somebody's name. Hikaru? But there's nobody here."

And Kaoru is scared to death. He wants to run away but he can't. He's stuck. Half naked and sticky too. He wants to cry because Hikaru is gone and they heard what was going on between them. He notices a stranger escape from the room from the corner of his vision but he's mostly paying attention is his mother's shocked look.

"Kaoru, I think it's time we discuss getting you help," his mom says and he had always known this would happen if they had ever figured out about Hikaru. But they don't really know. Not yet. And maybe if he shows them Hikaru in the mirror. Maybe…

"Mom! I'm not insane! Hikaru's real!"

"Who is he then, son? Where is he? If he's real, I know we'd like to meet him," and Kaoru feels just a bit grateful to his dad.

"If I tell you, you have to promise me you won't call me insane."

They nod.

"You promise?"

They nod again.

Kaoru takes a deep breath, "Hikaru's my reflection."

"Hikaru's your what?" Mrs. Hitachiin says, looking bewildered. "He's your reflection? Your reflection? Well, I'm breaking my promise because Kaoru, you need help."

"But he's real, Mom! Hikaru is real! I've been talking to him for a couple of months! I'll show you he's real!" He hurries to the mirror and signals to his parents to go there. "Watch!" And he looks to the mirror but he doesn't see Hikaru. He only sees himself. He shakes his head and his reflection follows, "No. No! Hikaru! He isn't here! What happened?" And he feels himself begin to cry. Hikaru isn't there.

He feels his mom hug him but he doesn't want her touch. He wants Hikaru's and he pushes him off of her.

"I bet you think I'm crazy, huh? Like this is all in my mind or something. But it isn't! And if you had ever tried to be my parents, you would know I'm right! You would know Hikaru was real! He is! I don't know where he is but Hikaru is real!"

Mrs. Hitachiin looks like she's about to faint and Mr. Hitachiin decides to be brave and take a step forward to his child.

"Kaoru, how about we go downstairs, okay? And how about we talk about all of this? We'll figure out what to do. And where you can go."

"Where I can go? Are you saying you're putting me in a loony bin?"

Mrs. Hitachiin wipes her eyes and puts her hand on his shoulder, "Don't make it sound so bad. You can go there and then get better and then we can all go back to normal. And we'll try to spend more time with you and then we can-"

He slapped her hand away, "But I'm not crazy! Hikaru's real!"

"Kaoru, think about what you're saying. You're saying your reflection talks to you," Mr. Hitachiin says softly.

Kaoru looks at the mirror and all the carvings, "But I think this mirror is magical. I think maybe this is why I know Hikaru."

"I'm sick of hearing this!" Mrs. Hitachiin screamed, stomping over to the mirror. "Come on, reflection, talk to me! We can have a lovely conversation about the weather!" She waited a few seconds before turning around to her son and frowning. "You see? Reflections don't talk to you. They aren't people. Now let's go downstairs. We need to figure a few things out."

Kaoru was usually very sure of himself. He was right a lot of the time and he was smartest than most boys his age. But at this time, he wasn't sure what to think or to do. He wasn't crazy. He couldn't have been. He had felt Hikaru. He had talked to him. Hikaru had been so human. His mind did not make him up. His mind couldn't have. He was staring at the mirror and then he felt himself being tugged away by his mother.

Hikaru was real. He knew that. He just wasn't sure where he was.

xxx

"Right now, you're just really sick, Kaoru. Just really, really sick. But you can get better. It happens all the time. People just go a little bit crazy and then they get all better," it sounds like she was trying to reassure herself more than she was her son and she smiled at him. "We'll get you into the best hospital there is. Nothing less for my Kaoru. You deserve the best."

"And we'll visit you as much as we can. And I'm sure there must be nice things. You'll get great therapy. We'll make sure of that."

"Yes!" Mrs. Hitachiin says happily and energetically. "And then when you get out, maybe you'll make some great friends. Find a nice girl. Who knows! Anything could happen!"

"Are you really going to send me to an insane asylum?"

"Kaoru, it isn't like we're leaping for joy over this, you know," his mom says and she's giving him a sympathetic smile. He takes in her appearance. Her usual neat, short red hair isn't so in place and her face has make-up smudges all over it. Her clothes are rumpled. She looks like she hasn't slept in days.

He looks to his father and he looks much the same.

He sighs, "I'm not crazy. But I don't have any choice in this, do I? I'm going to be in an insane asylum and I'll never get out."

"Don't say that! Of course you will!"

"Stop making it seem like this isn't a big deal. If I am insane, I'll never leave. I'll probably never get better. And maybe if you knew me better, you wouldn't be putting me in some nut bin. It's like you're just doing this to get me out of your hair."

"What? No! No, Kaoru! We're doing this because we love you! We want you to get better! We want you to go to a hospital so you can get better and come back and be with us!"

He looks at her and even if she seems sincere, he can't find it in himself to care. He looks to his father and his father does look amazingly calm and he sighs once more. He feels like he's apart of some other world. Like he'll wake up and things will go back to normal.

"I need to go to the bathroom."

His mother looks at him suspiciously, "Do you really?"

"I'm dirty and sticky."

His mother coughs and she looks uncomfortable, "Okay then, go to mine."

"Why?"

"I don't want you anywhere near that mirror of yours. I don't like it. I'm getting it destroyed as soon as I can."

"No! No! You cannot destroy that mirror! You can't get rid of it!" He screams, shocking both his parents. "I really will hate you if you destroy it! I swear I will!"

"Be practical, Kaoru," his mother says. "That mirror isn't anything special."

Kaoru just glares and stomps angrily up the stairs.

"Why did he freak out over that mirror?"

Mr. Hitachiin shakes his head, watching his son disappear, "Who knows."

xxx

Kaoru isn't very sure why he actually listens to his mother and goes to her bathroom. He sums it up as he wants to see if Hikaru is real or if his mirror is magical. He wants to know.

But he smiles and locks the door. His parents were idiots. Didn't they at least know him well enough to expect that? His smile quickly fades as he goes to his mother's mirror.

And he sees Hikaru.

"Hikaru! You are real! But why did you disappear? Why didn't you talk to my mother? Why?"

"I'm sorry, Kaoru. I really am. But even if I love you, nobody can know about the Mirror World. I mean, what would happen if anybody knew? I can't be that selfish, even if it is for you" Hikaru frowns before replacing it with a small smile. "But at least we got one moment in."

"So that was real," Kaoru mumbles before sighing. "Why did you disappear? How did you even get to me?"

"I don't know. It just happened? I don't know."

"Eloquent," Kaoru teases but he doesn't feel like teasing very much. "Hikaru, I'm going away."

"To where?"

"To the insane asylum."

"To the what?! Why the fuck are you going there for?!"

"My parents think I'm crazy. They think I made you up," he looks at his reflection with a desperate look. "What do I do? I can't go there. I can't be away from you. If I don't have you, then I have nothing. I'll never leave that place. I know my parents will make some story up. Make it seem like I'm crazier than I am. And I won't have you. I don't have anything but you, Hikaru."

He hears Hikaru sigh and it makes him feel weaker for some reason, "I don't know, Kaoru. I mean, I can't do anything. I want to help you but you have to understand I can't go ahead and ruin my world."

"I know."

Kaoru is strong. He was one of the very first children to stop crying when he got a scrape. But he starts crying and he doesn't even try to stop. He feels weak. He feels like his life is ending. He can't let himself go to some insane asylum.

"Hikaru, what happens if I die?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"No, I mean, what happens to you?"

"I die too, I guess," and the realization hits him. "Kaoru, you aren't going to kill yourself, are you?!"

"Hikaru! I have to die! My life is already ending! I can't let it end on their terms! If my life has to end, I'm ending it myself!" He sobs, putting his hand to the mirror. "I don't want to die but I have to!"

"Kaoru, there has to be some other way," Hikaru replies, placing his hand where Kaoru's is and looking at him sadly. "You can't die. Talk to your parents, make them understand you aren't crazy! Something!"

"Hikaru! They don't even understand me! Nobody does!"

It seems to hit Hikaru right there that there is no other way and Kaoru notices he is beginning to cry too.

"I'm sorry I ever talked to you."

"Don't, I love you. I don't regret it."

They're silent for a little while.

"Hikaru, are you okay with dying? Do you want to die?"

"Not really. I want to live. But you're right, there's no other choice for you. And because I am your reflection, I follow you no matter where you go."

Kaoru laughs and wipes away his tears, "Who says you aren't poetic?"

Hikaru gives him a half quick glare. It doesn't mean anything, "So how are you going to die?"

"Well, my mom probably has a razor in here but cutting myself seems so melodramatic."

"Like suicide isn't already melodramatic."

And Kaoru laughs and gives him a grateful look, "Thanks for that. Making this whole thing more comfortable. You really are great."

Things go silent again before it hits Kaoru.

"I'll overdose. My mom takes these sleeping pills when she can't get to sleep. And it shouldn't be painful or really slow or anything, right? I can make myself go to sleep. And my parents won't be able to get to me because the door's locked. It's perfect," He looks around and sees that there's a notebook on his mother's counter. "She must use that in case she gets some idea for some fashion design. I can write her a suicide note."

"Yeah, let's make this thing even more dramatic."

"Well, isn't me dying already dramatic enough? I might as well make a huge show of it. And have my name in the newspapers. And some huge funeral because my mom likes to make everything big."

He walks away from the mirror to go look in his mother's medicine cabinet and he sees the sleeping pills. He was right. He knew his mom more than she knew him and it was very ironic.

"Should I take the whole bottle?"

"Yeah, like you said, make a huge show of it. Hell, take something poisonous too."

"I better write the suicide letter before I do it. I might not be able to finish it and I really want to say a few more things to them."

As he writes the letter, he finds it odd that he's starting to cry harder. He thinks it's probably because he's about to die. And the idea that his life is shortly ending is very scary. But he knows there's no other choice. So he finishes it and lays it on the toilet seat and sighs.

"Well, I guess it's time to die, huh?"

They're silent again and they just look at each other, tears rolling down their eyes and Kaoru smiles, thinking of how romantic it all seems. Dying for love. Cliché but still romantic.

"I'm scared," Kaoru admits.

"Me too."

Kaoru puts his cheek on the mirror and closes his eyes, "I'm sorry I'm going to die. I'm sorry I'm making you die."

"Don't worry, I get it. And if I don't have you, I don't have anybody either. So, I guess I have to die too."

"Do you think we'll be together when we die?"

"I hope so."

They're both still crying and Kaoru turns to his reflection, giving him a smile. They both lean in and Kaoru knows that his lips are where Hikaru's are even if he can't see it. When they pull away, they give each other one last smile.

"I love you," they say simultaneously.

Kaoru moves away from the mirror to grab the pill bottle. He shakes it and hears the rattle of the pills against the plastic bottle. He hopes there's enough to kill him. He takes a deep breath and opens the cap and swallows everything.

And now Kaoru knows there is no turning back. He smiles sadly and looks at Hikaru one more time, who seems to be sobbing. He lays down on the floor and rests his head on his arm, closing his eyes. He doesn't really know what will happen. Kaoru is still scared but at least he knows he has done everything he can.

"I'll wake up with Hikaru. We'll be together."

And Now It Ends

Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm not going to begin this letter with "I'm dead" because that has to be obvious by now. You'll probably cry or something but then that just makes you really selfish. And hypocritical. You left me with no other choice. Even when you tried to 'help me', you just ruined my life more. You ruined my life as soon as I was born. You ruined it more when you never spent time with me. And then you obliterated it when you tried to take Hikaru away from me.

You think I'm insane and I understand that to some level. I'm not, though. Hikaru is real. More real than you. He's more real than you because unlike you, Hikaru has always been with me. He loves me and I love him. You can say you love me but you don't.

When I met Hikaru, I thought I was going crazy. And who knows, maybe I am crazy. But if I am, though I doubt it, then I'm glad I lived in that insanity. That insanity was the only time I was actually happy. Otherwise, I always lied to myself. I always said I wasn't sad or that I wasn't unhappy. But I was. My life was miserable. And if my 'insanity' brought me joy, good. I'll do it all over again.

I could go on and on, but I won't. I'll end this letter here because really, I don't think you deserve to know anymore. But I guess good luck in life. And you're not too old, Mom, maybe you and Dad can have another kid. I dare you to name it Hikaru.

Good-bye,

Kaoru

The Future is Now the Present

"This was never supposed to happen." Mrs. Hitachiin said, stress evident on her face as she looked desperately to her husband. "Kaoru was supposed to be perfect, popular, and have tons of girlfriends. He could have! He wasn't supposed to hang out with a…ugh. What kind of child does that anyway? I could put up with him always reading books, and him having no friends. But…not this…it's just….where did we go wrong?"

Mr. Hitachiin frowned, putting a comforting hand on his wife's shoulder. "Who knows? Who knows but Kaoru and that mirror."

"Don't ever mention that fucking mirror again. I want it destroyed. I want to kill whoever made it."

"Of course, dear."

"Why did he have to kill himself? Did we really push him into that?"

Mr. Hitachiin hugs his wife to him and sighs, "We can't blame ourselves. Even the psychologist said we can't. Kaoru wasn't right when he did all that. He had a serious mental problem and unfortunately, we were too late to do anything about it."

"If I had known that his lack of human contact could have done that to him, I would have done something. I didn't know. I mean, I thought he needed friends but I didn't know it could have messed with his head. I didn't know," she sobs and clutches at her husband's black jacket. "I didn't know but I should have. I shouldn't have been so demanding and I should have tried to be more understanding. I feel like I let him down. And I did. If I had been a better mother, Kaoru would still be alive."

"Shh," he mumbles into her hair, still trying to comfort his wife. "I told you not to say that. But, let's go to bed. The funeral was tiring and we need some sleep."

"I don't want to sleep."

"You'll sleep away some of the pain."

"Well, okay then. Maybe that is a good idea. I don't want to feel anything for a little while. But I know I'll think Kaoru is alive when I wake up."

"It'll get better in time, I promise."

The Living Keep On Living

Kaoru Hitachiin knew he was considered many things. Many things that were so far from the truth that they almost seemed real in a twisted way. He knew what kids said about him and many of the things they said were lies. Well, other than he was odd. That was true. He wasn't in denial about that in the least bit. He knew he was odd. He wasn't proud but he wasn't ashamed. You always needed an odd kid and who better to suit the job than him?

The End

DON'T KILL ME? Thank you. :)

So, I'll answer the question the that must be going through your head.

Was Kaoru crazy? Well, he was and he wasn't. It's all up to you to decide. Was Kaoru crazy or was Hikaru actually real? I gave enough information for either to be true. Do I have my own opinion? Yes. But I'm not telling. Neither is right or wrong. Including my opinion. :3

And there's the end of that story. Thanks for reviewing and no sequal. :)