I decided to do a humor, but i won't discontinue my other story. I will be continueing both, but don't expect updates to be soon, since i'll be pretty busy. Please review and tell me if you like it. Yes, they are ninjas in this fic. I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: i do not own Naruto
"talking"
'thoughts'
The sun came over the horizon to share it's light with the world. The wind blew ruffling flowers and leaves on the tress. Birds chirped in the sky as they flew toward the horizon.
Chirp, chirp, chirp –
SPLAT.
Okay… how about we ignore the twitching birds with kunai stuck in their flesh.
Cough.
Anyway… let's see what this fellow is doing outside the woods of Konoha, so how about a little stalking, hm?
A familiar spiky raven haired man walked on the dirt path toward the large Konoha gates. His hands cuffed as 2 ANBU led him to the village of Konohagakure. His spikes wavered slightly from their normal spiky position as he walked.
The chains clinked together with every step he took. The ANBU neared the gate and waited for the guards to open the door. As the door creaked open the ANBU and raven haired man stepped toward the gates when…
"hold it right there!"
The 2 ANBU and raven haired man turned and looked at the guard that dared to stop them from going to the hokage tower to report the retrieval of the spiky haired man.
"you, ANBU, right?" asked the guard
Nod
"what are you doing with…" the guard looked at the captured nin
The man opened his eyes to reveal… Sharingan!
Nah, I'm just kidding.
To reveal cerulean eyes.
"you're the guy that was crazy enough to run off with the Godaime's sake!" yelled the guard
Nod.
"so that's why ANBU were sent… Carry on!"
The three people left and the raven haired mans block spiked hair ruffled as the gust blew by, all three figures disappearing in the wind with sake in the ANBU's arms.
The next guard on shift took his post and as the other guard was about to leave he asked a question.
"why didn't the godaime just buy another box of sake?" asked the second guard
The first guy took a minute to ponder this as he tapped his chin with a kunai. Then after a long 15 minutes he answered.
Shrug.
Now let's head over to the ramen stand a little ways away…
A spiky haired blonde was stuffing some ramen down his throat, practically inhaling the stuff.
"alright, Naruto. Since you've been working pretty hard over the past 5 years training…. Ramen is on the house!" the ramen owner announced with a grin
"REALLY?!" Naruto looked up from his bowl "ARIGATOU, DATTEBAYO!"
He began scarfing down food like there's no tomorrow. Ayame looked at the blonde haired Jonin and blinked at the unlimited space his stomach has.
The shinobi had been there for 3 hours straight!
"Oi, Naruto. You better quit eating that stuff or you're precious Ramen stand will go bankrupt in no time." A voice said behind him
Naruto froze hearing the familiar voice then whirled around wide-eyed.
"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto shouted
"yo" the sensei greeted raising a piece sign
"YOUR LATE!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger
"um, Naruto. You haven't seen me for 5 years and 'kakashi-sensei, you're late' is the first thing you say when I finally drop in to visit?" the silver haired Jonin questioned
"oh" Naruto shrugged "habbit"
Kakashi sweat dropped. He whipped out his book and turned the page.
"anyway… Godaime wants to you, but you also have to wait for three others" Kakashi spoke
"alright maybe a mission!" Naruto cheered
"something like that" Kakashi muttered under his breath with a grin
"what was that, Kakashi-sensei?" asked Naruto cluelessly
"nothing, Nothing. Hurry up on your way now" Kakashi said nervously waving his hands and shoving Naruto out of the stand as he poofed away
The last Uchiha was training in training ground 3. Weapons were scattered all around and stuck in trees, the ground, practice targets.
(A/N: news got to Konoha that when Itachi was at a bar he was drunk and didn't look both ways before crossing the road… and the rest is history! Sorry Itachi fans!)
He held a fuuma shuriken in his hand as he calculated how to his target. His eyes flashed open, revealing his mangenkyou sharingan.
"concentrate my chakra into my weapon, so it can increase the damage of the hit" he muttered to himself
Chakra began to glow around his hand.
"alright, now focus the chakra to the weapon" he mumbled
The blue chakra engulfed the weapon.
"even out the chakra, so the when the weapon is thrown it doesn't go off course" he quietly said to himself
The chakra glowed brighter as wind whipped around the fury and power of his chakra. The ground below him and the weapon began to crack under the force.
"that's it! Now – ! " just as he was about to swing the weapon and the unfortunate tree
Poof.
"yo!"
Clunk.
"AAAK!" hollered the sharingan user
10 minutes later
A frustrated Uchiha blew at the bangs that curtained his face. Mad at his sensei for interrupting his training. He sat against a tree with his lips in a frown.
His sensei nervously scratched the back of his head with his book in the other hand.
"Well the bleeding on your head stopped thanks to my chakra and the fuuma didn't hurt you too bad. I'm not a medic-nin, but I know enough to know you're perfectly fine as if you never got hit on the head by your fuuma when you attempted to throw it at the tree, but you aimed at the sky instead" Kakashi said
"I lost concentration when you popped up out of nowhere" Sasuke growled defensively
"right, hehe" Kakashi chuckled sheepishly
…
Turn page.
Frown.
…
Turn page.
Scowl
…
Turn page
"augh! What the hell are you doing here?!" Sasuke growled impatiently
"to deliver a message from the Hokage" Kakashi answered
…
Turn page
"well" asked the Uchiha
"well what?" asked the older shinobi
…
Turn page
"what did she say?!" he asked with a vein twitching
"oh she wants you to go there, three people are supposed be there too" Kakashi shrugged
"thanks" the Uchiha said with his eyebrows twitching as he disappeared in a whirl of leaves.
In the Hokage's office…
In the blur of gusty winds the last Uchiha appeared very pissed off. Naruto was seated at a chair in front of the Godaime's desk and Tsunadae sat at her position behind the dsk in that comfy chair of hers.
"Oi, Sasuke-teme!" the blonde called
Sasuke growled animalistic like and roughly sat down on the only other chair which was next to Naruto. He began to glare at anything and everything like it was their fault he was pissed off.
Naruto and Tsunadae sweatdropped at the behavior of the usually emotionless Sharingan user.
"Kakashi?" asked Tsunadae
"hn…" he grunted burning a whole through the desk before him
"late?" asked Tsundae
"hn…" he answered again
"throw you off your concentration?" asked Naruto
"Hn!" he grunted louder as he childishly crossed his arms and turned to glare at the wall
This earned another pair of sweatdrops.
"Tsunadae-shishou, sorry I was late! The fanboys were faking illnesses again at the hospital" a feminine voice yelled behind the door
Soon the owner of the voice opened the door and stepped into the room. Both boys turned around to look at the new arriver. One reluctant and the other curious.
Both of their jaws dropped at the sight of their pink haired teammate 7 years ago, now at the age of 19.
The three re-united cell 7 stared at each other after not seeing each other for years. Sasuke quickly regained his bored expression while Naruto had a stupid grin.
"Sakura-Chan!" he yelled and ran over to her Sasuke twitched
In mid-hug he was hit upside the head by Uchiha Sasuke himself. While Sakura looked at Naruto who was now on the ground.
"dobe"
"teme what was that for?!" shouted Naruto
"for being a dobe, dobe" he said nonchalantly
Naruto muttered as he rubbed his head Sasuke looked over at Sakura who looked amazing, time definitely changed her not that she was ugly before.. where'd that come from.
Sakura glanced at Sasuke for a minute.
'this is my chance to show him I'm not that sniveling weakling from our genin years' Sakura thought
The Uchiha was confused. He'd been here for a total of 7 minutes and 48.445 seconds yet she had not glomped him yet… weird.
Suddenly Sakura began to walk towards him and he smirked cockily.
'I knew she can't resist me' he thought
… and Sakura walked straight past him.
'say WHA?! Oi, pinky I'm right here!" he yelled in his head
On the outside he merely slightly frowned when he finally figured out she was walking toward her sensei.
"shishou, what's up. Why are we here?" she asked
"ah yes" Tsunadae nodded as she folded her hands with a serious face
The three jonin crowded around her to listen to what she had to say.
"you three" she said in a death sentence tone
They all looked as if they were in some serious shit and began to sweat harshly.
'did she find out I broke into Ichiraku's ramen bank?!" thought Naruto
He remembered leaving something behind. His award for buying the most ramen!
'did she find out that I was the one who sent half the male population for trying to glomp me while i was taking a shower?!' though Sakura as her eyes widened
'did she find out that I burned Kakashi's porn collection of Icha Icha Paradise?!?' thought Sasuke as he hid his slightly scorched hands behind his back (yay no porn!!!)
"it wasn't my fault shishou! They were all pervs! Every single one of those guys who peeped at me in the shower!!" Sakura blurted
They all looked at her while Sasuke's eyes bled into Sharingan,
'must…kill… fucking pervs…' he thought as his right eye twitched uncontrollably
"what are you talking about Sakura?" asked Tsunadae blinking
"heh heh, nothing" Sakura said laughing nervously
Sasuke snapped out of his murderous avenging aura and began to sweat again.
'it had to be me' he thought
"does this have anything to do with …porn?" asked the Uchiha
Tsunadae raised a brow "no…" she said slowly
"perv" Naruto snickered and Sasuke glared daggers at the blonde
"I don't mean it like that" he said blushing as a picture of a bare Sakura underneath him came to mind
"it has nothing to do with porn" Tsunadae informed
Naruto stiffened. It had to be him then…
"Does this have to do with the ramen theft yesterday?" asked Naruto cautiously
"no, but we are looking for a possible suspect. We did find an award engraved to Naruto Uzamaki as we speak. We are currently looking for the ramen crime lord!" Tsunadae said with determination as she banged a fist on the table.
Team 7 sweatdropped at her obliviousness.
"but that's not the point. You are here because…" she trailed seriously
All three teens paid close attention.
"you have a vacation in Hawaii with rookie nine!" she cheered whipping out a party hat and putting it on as she threw streamers into the air. In the background was Kakashi in a Hawaiian hula skirt doing the hoola.
"SAY WHAT?!" team 7 shouted
…. And they were permanently scarred after seeing Gai join the hoola dance with nothing but a hoola skirt.
Thanks for reading and please review!