A/N: I don't not own the characters of Twilight, nor am I Stephenie Meyer.
Chapter One: Leave Me Be
"You know what! I hope you crawl underneath a rock and fuck someone you little whore!" I screamed. I assumed that I was beyond pissed. Ever since he left me, everything has gone wrong.
I heard the footsteps coming to my door again. Renee slammed open my door more furious than ever. "Excuse me! What did you just say to me?" I stood up and was now about 3 inches away from her face.
"I-Hope-You-Crawl-Under-A-Rock-And-Fuck-Someone-You-Little-Whore!" I said in syllables. And the last thing I knew was that I felt the stinging from a slap in the face and stumbling to my bed.
"Never ever say those words to me again young lady." She sounding convincing. But not that convincing.
"Fuck me. Just like you do every body else in the world!" I screamed at her again.
She stomped out of my room, slamming the door behind her screaming at the top of her lungs. And all I could to was drown her screams out with my CD player and smile, only because I would not see her at all again tonight, which meant I was free.
I lied on my bed staring at the ceiling while repeating "Session" by Linkin Park on my CD player over and over again. I could feel tears piling up, and I tried to block them out but, I failed. I took my headphones off, and threw my CD player at my wall, where it shattered to pieces.
I hugged my knees to my chest and rocked slightly back and forth, crying. I fell over on my bed and sat there crying, still having my knees to my chest. It hurt, everything hurt, and it wouldn't go away, no matter how much I tried.
I reached underneath my bed and grabbed my little friend, and slid my arm slowly across it about 10 times. Each time I did it, I winced, but it made everything better. I put my little friend back and let my arm soak in my crimson blood until I finally fell asleep.
Even though I'm 21 now, four years has gone by, and ever since Edward had left, things had been messed up left and right. He never came back for me, and I felt half-dead. I couldn't stand living with Charlie, because of all the memories that were there. And so I came to Florida to live with my mom. I had no where else to go.
I woke about two hours later. I got up from my bed and decided I needed a new CD player or I was going to go nuts. It was 9:00, so I was okay. I went into the bathroom to clean up my arm. I rinsed it, stung, but I was going to fine, physically at least.
I snuck back to my room and put up my hair, put a long sleeved shirt, along with a couple bracelets, just in case my sleeve came up. And put on some black skinny jeans, and ended with socks and my converse.
I opened my window quietly, and went out legs first, I had put pillows under my covers, just in case my mom came to check on me.
I landed on the Earths ground and almost fell on my ass, but I was okay.
I walked down the street, while taking my other little friend out, I sat on a deserted bench and emptied it out on so my hand, little by little, sniffing it up. God was it was awesome. I dropped my arm. I would still remember things but not really. I couldn't remember names and faces that well, because of the effect my little friend had on me.
5 minutes passed, and I got up, a little wobbly, but I was fine. It took me about fifteen minutes to walk to Target. Not that far though. I liked walking slow.
I walked into the store, feeling the air conditioners on me, it all felt too good. I walked to the back to where the electronics were. Looking at all the portable CD players, I could feel eyes on me. I looked over. And I could have sworn that the face I saw was familiar.
"Bella?" The familiar guy said to me. His voice made my heart sting. I winced and started walking away, but faster than my normal pace should have been.
And little did I know, I was being followed. I stopped back, this was utterly annoying. I stopped and turned around so that I was standing face to face with him 10 feet away.
"Do I know you?" My voice sure did sound annoyed.
He cringed at me. "Don't you remember me? Edward?" I stopped thinking, everything shut down. And then the pain started stinging everywhere.
"Bella?" He said, but his words weren't reaching me right. And of course, the only way I responded was gasping for air. "Fuck!" Was the only word I could get out, and a little louder than I wanted it to be.
He looked at me confused and I know why, I looked horrible for one. And two, he's never heard me say something like that.
My legs reacted faster than my brain could, I darted for the door. And once that I was outside, I ran, I didn't know where to, but anywhere but here.
I knew I couldn't shake him off. He was faster than I was, but I needed to get out of that spot.
I ran as fast as my legs would carry me, which was in my favorite spot. On top of a tall hill where you could be alone. As I ran, I could feel the tears spill out of my eyes.
I collapsed on my hill and sat on the grass. And a second later, he was there, standing right in front of me.
"Bella? Are you okay?" He asked, and I looked at him as if he were a dumbass.
"Look at me, do I look like I'm fucking okay?" He stepped closer to me.
"You look fantastic. I haven't seen you since that one day." Now I knew he was a lunatic. I looked ten times worse than the last time I'd seen him.
He came and sat in front of me, reaching for my hands, but I pulled them away and set them aside.
"What are you doing out here at dark." He looked at me still confused. Probably with the way I was reacting.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" I said and looked away, still having tears coming out of my eyes.
He looked at me a little hurt. "Seriously, I want to know, why are you out here?" He leaned closer.
I was negotiating with myself, trying to figure out if this was a dream or not. I slapped myself in the face, unfourtunately, I felt it. This couldn't be happening. "I broke my CD player and I was going to get a new one, plus I'm needing to meet up with someone." I told him so that he would stop asking.
"Really? How did you break your last one?" He said.
"Why do you keep asking so many questions?" I asked, annoyed.
He cringed again. "Because, I want to know what's going on. I haven't seen you in a long time."
"I got in a fight my mom, got pissed and shattered it against a wall. You happy now." I stood up. I was hating it right now. This just was not the time. If I knew that I was going to be seeing him, I would not be getting high on a bench.
He stood up too. "Ouch, so you moved in with Renee? What happened with Charlie?" I felt like I was going to explode out of my head. I needed to get out of here.
"It hurt too much to be there." Was all I said and started to walk away.
His face sadden. "Oh…. I'm sorry." He said slowly, keeping pace with me as I walked.
"Whatever." I grimaced and kept walking.
He stopped. "Where are you going?" He asked and I knew he wanted an answer.
"Away." I said and sped up my pace.
"Away? What do you mean? Bella, what happened to you?" His voice had a whole lottery ticket full of pain in it. "Your different."
I stopped and started walking to him slowly. "What the hell do you expect me to say Edward?" I stopped half way. "I'm a happy little college girl, my life is so great, I don't need anyone to make me happy because I'm already happy." I mimicked someone superbly hyper. "You left me in a forest half dead, Edward." My voice cracked. "You said you didn't want me, you left me there dying, I might as well go hang myself from a tree, because obviously no body wants me." I closed my eyes shut for a little and counted to five, trying to calm down.
"Charlie sent me to a physiatrist, a therapist, everything he could think of, nothing worked and he sent me off to my mother." His expression fell, I continued. "Me and my mother fight all the time, I don't talk to her anymore, except for when I'm screaming all I can at her. She's about to kick my ass out of her apartment. I have no one. And here you come back, talking to me like nothing happened when everything is fucked up everywhere." I was now crying, unable to hide it anymore.
I looked at him. He too looked like he was going to cry, but even I knew he couldn't.
My voice was expressionless and low. "There's more to it, but you don't have any say in it so it doesn't matter. Now I have somewhere to be." I said and started to walk off. But he started talking and I stopped in my tracks.
"So all of this is because of me?" He looked at me with dead eyes.
I turned towards him. "You think this is your fault?" I laughed. "Yeah. Right. The reason I'm like this is my fault, and because nobody cared. It's neglect." I turned and started walking again.
I heard no more from him. And as much as I knew, he wasn't following.
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An hour and a half later I found myself strolling around the park. I did something wrong, I knew I shouldn't have said those things to him, I might have pushed him too far. But at least he doesn't even no the half of it.
I found my way to a tree and stood facing it, and with one strike, I hit my head. I felt the blood rushing down my face, and waited for the nausea to come.
I sat down and leaned my head against the tree, waiting for what would happen next. Next, as I knew it, I felt the tears roll down my face. I hated when they came for a visit.
I let my mind wander as I sat at my tree. Five minutes later, the bleeding stopped and I was finally able to get up, but I stumbled back to my way down. "UGH! I HATE THIS!"
I hugged my knees to my chest and started to fall unconscious, only until I heard footsteps coming my way onto the grass. I looked up to see who it was. Nonetheless, I found myself shocked.
"Bella?" Edward's voice almost sang.
"Greaaat. Your back." I murmured not sure if I was wanting him to here that.
He looked at me, but not like he was hurt or anything, and sat down beside me once again. "I t-thought about what you said." He tried not to stammer over his words. "And I am sincerely sorry for what I did, but I had no choice but to leave you, you weren't right for me." He looked at the ground. "And I didn't know what else to do. I never stopped loving you, and I always regretted leaving you, I kept thinking and rethinking about returning. I'm so sorry. I never wanted that for you to happen. I want you. And I keep thinking that you will never forgive me, but, will you forgive me?" He sounded so concerned. But how was I ever able to forgive him for what he did. But I had no choice. He was my possibility for me to get better. He was my only chance.
I felt the tears building up again. I choked my words out. "Really? Oh my god Edward. It's not that easy. A lot of things have changed." He looked at me from the ground with sadness in his eyes.
"I know, but I really want to be with you. Bella, I love you." He said
"Edward, I don't know how bad things could get. I'm already screwed right now. There are so many things that are different in my life, I'm surprised that you even recognize me." I could feel the tears welling up again.
"I could help? Can't I? I can try to make things better." I hated it when he was charming me.
"Edward? I-I don't know..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.
"Bella, please? I really want you back. There has never been anything else in the world that I want more than this." He pleaded more. I starred at him wide eyed. This had to be a dream, or a nightmare, or... something. If it is, might as well make the best of it.
I threw my arms around him. And cried even more. He in return, put his arms around me. "Shhh, Bella, it's okay now." He tried saying repeatedly. "Bella, I love you. It's going to be alright." Soon after, my crying softened quietly.
"Edward? I love you. Please never leave me?" I pleaded.
"I promise. Don't worry, everything will be okay." I could hear that he was smiling.
I pulled away quickly and looked at my watch. "DAMN IT! I'm really sorry, but I have got to go." I looked at him sadly.
"Okay, I'll take you home." He looked at me smiling.
"Really? Are you sure? Wait, when was the last time you went hunting?" I had to make sure it would be safe.
He looked at me confused. "Three days ago." He said concerned.
"Okay." Said joyfully. "Come on." We both stood, and he motioned for me to get on his back. I looked at home like he was some crazy person on a bull. "Are you sure?"
He smiled my favorite crooked smile. "Of course." He gestured.
I climbed on his back and off we went.
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As soon as we got to my apartment, I had gotten off his back. I looked at him. "Uh? Do you want to come in?" I offered.
"Of course." He quietly laughed. And all I did was smile gladly that he was back again.
I grabbed the rope, and climbed up, but he didn't need it, obviously.
By the time I got up there, he was already in my room. "Okay, yeah, so my room isn't as plain as you would think, but it's there." I turned on my light, and it made my room all bluish, it was the only way that Renee would know that I was asleep if she walked down the hall. And everything was plain, except for the couple of band posters on my walls.
And thank goodness that you couldn't smell the blood from before, or else I would be in trouble. I took my hair down, sat on my bed, and yawned. Edward looked at me. "Maybe you should sleep, your exhausted." He suggested.
"Yeah maybe your right." He sat down next to me. And looked at me straight in the eyes.
"Bella, you know I love you right? And that I never want to hurt you ever again?" I nodded.
"Good. I just wanted to make sure." He whispered in my ear, and then lightly pressed his lips against mine and quickly pulled away. "Now you need to get to bed."
I lied down and he too lied to next to me, stroking my hair as if it were all a dream and he'd never be able to do it again.
"Edward?" I asked almost half asleep.
"Yeah?" he answered.
"I love you so much." I couldn't think of a way to explain it. "I love you too." He responded.
I turned over so that I was facing him. And he knew what I was searching for, like always. I found his lips and then I slowly fell asleep while he was humming my favorite lullaby and stroking my hair as I dosed off.
Okay, I think I should know that it is wrong to start another story if you still have two more in progress. But I had this in my head and I just had to write it down. Iono, guess the emotions in it were sorta how I felt. I don't mind flames, this was simply just for entertainment or whatsoever. Anywho, please review for next chapter? Or the whole story will die completely. Thank you.
-Suki
Update. 10/9/07
Okay, I added a little more things in, cause I've read it, and each time I do, it just seems like something is missing, and each time I add somthing in there, it makes a lot more scence. Oh yeah, and yes there will be another chapter, I am not working on it. Thank you for those of you that reviewed. I am now trying harder to make this story more interesting and meaningful. If you have any advice to give me, e-mail me at in(underscore)love14389 at yahoo . com . Thank you. Sorry it won't let me put the underscore in there without deleting it.
-Suki
New update. 10/10/07
Okay I know this is kind of soon, but within the next 5 or 6 days, Number TWO chapter will be up. So keep checking in from time to time. You will never know when there is somthing new. Thank you for preveiwing.
-Suki