Chapter Eighteen

Decisions

The Next Morning

The elevator door opens to the eleventh floor, Alex muddles through the squad, anxious for her coffee. She stops and has a quick exchange with Nola. Too much of her surprise her partner is not at his desk, quickly scanning through the room she frowns, he left early last night and this morning he's late? Well for him anyway. Greeting a few fellow detectives as she walks toward her desk, things were going well and now he's acting…. "Morning," he says as he walks past her.

"Ah….yeah good morning," she says as she follows him, crossing her arms she stands next to him as he sits. "Are you alright?"

He looks up as he hands her a cup of coffee, "Yes, why do you keep asking me that?"

She takes the cup, "Thanks, ah no reason." Weird, face it Alex, the guy can be very weird. She smiles, everyone is entitled to a little weirdness occasionally. He notices her staring. But he is also very sweet and he looks very nice in that suit, she shakes her head, Gees Alex get a grip. This time he asks, "Are you alright?"

She pats his shoulder, "Yes, I'm alright," taking a long deserved sip of coffee.

Once again, they start the day sorting through notes and deciding their plan of action. After an afternoon of interviews, they return to the squad and take over one of the side offices. Alex begins to sort through some papers as the door to the office opens. Ross stands in the doorway for a moment before entering. The frown on his face causes Alex to twitch, "Something wrong Captain?" She asks keeping her head down.

He closes the door softly then pulls out a chair and sits between them, clasping his hands, staring straight ahead, "Am I mistaken but didn't the two of you say yesterday that Christine Walker was slowly becoming your number one suspect in murder of her husband."

Alex can feel his stare she nods, "Yes," she looks up as she answers, setting down a folder, "That's an odd question Captain, has something happened?"

"So you haven't changed your mind?"

"No Captain, I haven't."

He turns his gaze from Alex to Bobby. "What about you Detective?"

"Maybe," Bobby says refusing to make eye contact with Ross.

"What?" Alex exclaims.

"Well that may answer my question Goren," he glances at Alex. "I could ask your partner to leave but I think she should hear this." He pauses. "Last night at Hennessey's you were seen in the company of Christine Walker or should I say the merry widow."

"Are you spying on me?" Bobby asks staring straight ahead.

"I didn't say it was me. Someone told me this morning. They said and I quote that the two of you were very friendly and that you left the bar together."

Alex glances at her partner; he has a blank stare on his face. Not moving her eyes she asks, "Captain, are you joking? Bobby?" She asks with a quizzical tone.

Ross tries desperately to maintain eye contact with him, "No. It's not a joke, is it?" Bobby fidgets slightly in the chair, "Did you sleep with her?" Ross asks.

Bobby tosses the slip of paper he has in his hand and it floats down to the middle of the table, "That's none of your damn business." Bobby answers abruptly.

"That is where you are wrong Detective." Ross leans forward, "It is my business. A suspect in a murder case and the detective investigating that murder, oh it's my business all right. Do I have to ask you again?"

He sits back in the chair, "No I didn't sleep with her," he says sardonically.

"Oh so now we're going to play word games?"

Alex squirms in her chair holding her hand to her mouth; her mind is racing with scenarios of why and how? Ross says, "Eames if you want to leave, go on."

"No," she answers sharply.

"Did you have sex with her?" An eerie silence overtakes the room, "Detective…."

He raises his head and a smirk crosses his face.

"You think this is funny?"

"I should probably say no, but…………"

"Three days I don't want to see you around here for three days." Ross stands, "And in that time your partner will have the task of filling in two new detectives on this case, omitting every piece of evidence you uncovered regarding Christine Walker." He turns and grabs for the doorknob.

Bobby raises his voice. "It's not exactly the crime of the century; come to think of it I don't think it is a crime."

Ross turns abruptly with a scowl on his face, "Four days make it four days."

Bobby puts his hands behind his head, laughing, "That's ridiculous and so are you."

"Five days do you want five days?"

"What am I in high school?"

Ross leaves the room without responding. Bobby takes quick glances at Alex whose stare is intense, clearing her throat she speaks. "Were you drunk? Because if you were," she pauses. "Maybe then I could understand."

He bows his head down shaking it slightly.

"My God how? Why? I….I never thought….How could you do something so irresponsible. I'm ashamed of you."

"Am I supposed to say something?"

"An explanation would be nice the attitude I can do without."

"I'm sorry if what I did affected you I didn't mean for it too."

"Alright I can accept that," she leans forward. "But why?"

"It happened. I did something impulsive. I did what I wanted without analyzing it to death."

"You can do better than that Bobby."

He rubs his face, "She….she is very attractive and I was feeling really shitty and she made the first move and I didn't turn her away."

"You never thought that she was just playing you?"

"Why? Because someone that beautiful could never be interested in someone like me."

"I didn't say that," she pauses. She stands and rests her hands on the table as she bends down. "Oh you are good."

He looks up at her and smiles, "Nothing, I have nothing. It just happened, can't something just happen? I didn't plan it….I'm sorry I suppose I thought no one would ever find out. But of course, such is my life." He sits back in the chair, staring at the ceiling. "I remember something she said to me last night; I thought you and your partner believed I killed my husband."

"Did you tell her that we did?"

Nodding his head, "Yes I did. Then she asked me, what if I did?"

"What did you say?"

"I said. I don't care."

"What? What are you saying?"

"I don't care, Alex." He sits up, "I really don't care. I can't do this anymore. I'm just so tired of it. I feel like a hamster in one of those wheels, you keep going around and around."

"What about justice."

"Justice?" he scoffs. "Nicole Wallace is free, they had to release Jonathan and look what…The names change and the faces change but it's the same thing and no matter how hard we work or how many hours we put in they just keep hurting each other. Do you think we'll ever get a day off?"

"I don't think so."

"Lester Walker, what were the words that everyone used to describe him, son of a bitch."

"It is true that most of the people we talked to seemed to be happy the guy was dead."

He slaps the table with his hand, "Exactly, so why in the hell should I work day and night trying to find his killer," he pauses, "I don't care," he says sternly.

"You really mean that, don't you?"

He looks away and nods his head, "Yes I do."

She sits down next to him, "Come on." She taps his arm, "My treat, let's go for a drink. "We need to talk and," she looks around the room. "I don't want to talk here."

"You'll have to drive, my car is in the shop," he opens the door for her. "I took a cab this morning, damn those fares are high."

"Where should we go," she asks as he pushes the button on the elevator.

"Finnegan's is fine, I know that's where you want to go, park at your place, we can walk there and that way we can have a few."

Finnegan's

The waitress sets down their drinks and they thank her, they lift their glasses, "Oh that tastes good" Alex says. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing in particular, just the past fifteen years of my life."

She chuckles, "That's nothing in particular? What about them?"

"Exactly, what about them," he says sadly. "Just a big waste, I'm no different then I was fifteen years ago. Nothing, I have nothing, no wife no kids." He exhales loudly.

"What do you want to do disappear somewhere and never come back? I'd miss you; your Mom would miss you." The smile she flashes turns into a frown when she sees a tear in his eye. He notices her stare and turns his head away. "Bobby," Alex says softly as she touches his hand. "What is it?"

"She's dying," he says with his head down. "She has cancer and she's dying." Alex squeezes his hand. "Oh my God Bobby I'm so sorry, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

He just shrugs his shoulder. "She couldn't just fall asleep one night and not wake up; she has to go through this." He places his hand on his chest, "I have to go through this. I don't know if I can. I'm not sure I have the energy."

"Does she know?"

"Yeah, there is a smidgen of hope but at her age…."

"You're going to abandon her now?"

"I...I don't...You know what I've been thinking about the past few days, I know I'll be there for her, where was she that day when I needed her? The day I needed my parents, where were they, self absorbed with their own crap." He picks up a napkin and wipes his eyes; Alex links her arm in his.

"If the day was different would you have told them what happened?"

"I shouldn't have had to….they were my parents," he pounds the table with his fist. "I was their son they should have know something was wrong." He wipes his eyes again, "Shit I sound like a little kid."

"No you don't," she squeezes him gently. "A little boy stood in the doorway of his kitchen and he was very scared and the two people in the world who should have stopped heaven and earth to help him and to comfort him continued their stupid, idiotic argument. You have every right to feel the way you do." He lifts his head slowly, brushes his finger across her cheek. "Thank you," she says unexpectedly.

"What?"

"For sharing that with me, not going off somewhere and leave me to wonder why."

Picking up his glass he takes a long sip, "When I was in the hospital this nurse, you know the one with the needles." Alex nods her head and smiles, remembering. "I woke up to her singing this song that my Mom would sing to me when I was about 5 or 6 years old." He gets very quiet.

Alex nudges him, "What was the song about?"

"It's just a silly little song about God taking you by the hand and showing you the world and when you're little your imagination goes wild." He says excitedly. "I loved that song." He looks away from her. "That was it."

"What do you mean?"

"That was it, nothing special, ever again." He says solemnly. "Are you hungry?" The sudden subject change startles her, "I'm getting hungry."

Alex grabs a napkin from the table and dabs her eye, "Now that you mention it I could eat."

"I'll order some munchies, is that alright?"

"Yeah that sounds good."

A comfortable silence takes over as they eat, they order one more drink. Placing his chin on his hand he looks into her eyes. "You're very cute."

She looks up and smiles, "So are you."

He laughs, "Yeah in this light right? Have a few more drinks."

She laughs as she lightly slaps his arm. "Well was it worth it?" He lets out a small chuckle. Alex leans forward as a silly smirk crosses his face. "Wait a minute, that face, you're not ashamed or...you and her," this time she hits his arm. "You didn't do anything."

Nodding his head in agreement, "I was helping her to the car. She had a bit too much to drink and before I left to go home she asked me to sit in the car for a minute. She apologized and thanked me for the conversation."

"But why? Why let Ross think that….

"Alex I never admitted that I did anything," he wags his finger at her. "You two assumed that I did. Besides did he ask me, what we talked about? No. Did he ask me what she had to say? No, he accused me; he already had his mind made up about what he thought happened, so let him think it."

Shaking her head, "One of these days Bobby, one of these days I will understand that mind of yours." She bows her head, "I did the same thing, I'm sorry."

"It's alright, I should have told you sooner." He suddenly starts to laugh heartily, "Did you see that vein in his temple, man I thought it was going to burst."

Nodding her head, "Yes I saw it, it caught my eye." She begins to laugh, "So I suppose you're feeling better?"

"A little," he takes a hold of her hand, pulling her foreword kissing her cheek. She looks into his eyes and smiles. He leans in and kisses her neck. Without turning away, she says, "We better not."

He shrugs his shoulders as he stands, holding out his hand. "Come on," she takes his hand. "Let's get out of here."

They start their walk back to Alex's, her cell phone rings, "Eames," nodding her head as she listens to the caller. "Yes Sir I was going to do that in the morning."

Bobby raises his eyebrows, "Hang up on him."

Alex covers the phone, "Shhh," she holds her finger to her lips. "Yes Sir, I'm here." She suddenly stops, "You're kidding, yes, yes of course I'll see you in the morning." She closes up the phone.

"What did he want?"

"Remember George Williams?"

"Yeah, sure he was one of Lester's many, many former partners."

"Well his lawyer called Ross and tomorrow morning he and his lawyer have something to tell the world."

"He wants to confess?" he says surprisingly.

Nodding her head, "Yes he does."

"Damn."

They realize they have arrived in front of Alex's apartment. She invites him in. "Want another drink?"

"No I've had enough." She turns around quickly and he is standing in front of her. He holds her face in his hands and kisses her deep. He breaks the kiss and she puts her arms around his neck. "We'll hate each other in the morning, won't we?"

"Hate may be a little strong but we won't be able to look at each other the same way again."

He smiles then lightly kisses her lips. "You want to know something."

"What?"

"I love you."

She caresses his cheek. "I love you too."

"When Ross confronted me, I….you were….I was hoping you'd tell me to go to hell or that I was a pig or something then it would have been easy for me to leave but you didn't. I was feeling a little sorry for myself, but there is something that I was very, very wrong about."

She takes a hold of his hand leading him further into the room, "Oh and what is that?"

"The last fifteen years have not been a waste since I've had you in them," after a quick hug, he wishes her goodnight. Leans down and kisses her cheek, "I'll see you next week."

"You're coming back then."

"If only for the fact that you're my partner, yeah I'll be back."

"Behave yourself for the next three, no four days."

"When he said five did he mean five?" He scratches the back of his head, "I'd better call and find out."

"You better call and apologize." She says as she follows him to the door.

"Hmm, yeah that too," he laughs.

"Goodnight Bobby."

"Goodnight Alex," he turns to face her resting his hand on the doorknob. "Thanks." He opens the door then suddenly stops. "Can I get a cab in this neighborhood?"

"No, I'll call for one." She walks across the room into the kitchen. Shaking her head and smiling as she picks up her phone. I have to say one thing about you Bobby Goren you're never boring. I couldn't even imagine my life without you in it. And damn what a kiss.

THE END