Author's Note: This one kinda came out of nowhere. I was just sitting around, reading some manga chapters, when I got to the part in Chapter 63 where Mustang is talking with Grumman about recent events. I was remembering the chapter where Mustang speaks of losing his subordinates. I really wanted to find out how Mustang was coping, but the last couple of chapters had been focusing more on Ed and Al in Briggs. So then I imagined Mustang writing letters to Hawkeye that she would never read, because sending them to her would put her in greater danger. This isn't quite that, but that's where the idea of the letters came from.
I might as well warn those who don't already know that I've changed the spelling of Hawkeye's name from Riza to Liza. The main reason for this is that I think it looks and sounds better. It's my own personal preference, and I think we're all entitled to creative license, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't go on and on about how much you hate that spelling. Thank you.
Lietuenant Hawkeye:
Requesting your presence in my office immediately. I am full aware you have taken the week off work, but consider this an emergency. No exceptions.
Signed,
Colonel Roy Mustang
Liza Hawkeye slowly straightened up from where she had been crouching over the pile of mail under the letterbox in her front door. She had opened the official-looking letter immediately; it exuded an air of importance and urgency. Liza frowned at the typed message, wondering what could possibly be so demanding that the Colonel would ask her to come to work on her vacation. He, of all people, should have known she had precious few of those. She was dedicated, she worked hard, so why did he have to ask her to come when the workday hadn't even begun yet?
She glanced over at the clock on the wall, and saw that it was only four o'clock in the morning. Black Hayate had woken her up to be let outside, and she had decided to read her mail before snuggling back up in bed. Liza glared at the note as if it was the Colonel himself. This 'emergency' had better not be paperwork, or his latest girlfriend ditching him, she thought savagely. Then again, what if it was a real emergency, something to do with the Homunculi? Undecided, Liza flipped through the rest of her mail. There was a bill, an advertisement slip for the cafeteria down the street, and two personal letters addressed to her. Glancing at the return addresses, Liza could see they were both from the Colonel. What is he on about? she wondered with a sigh. Throwing the letters down onto her kitchen table, Liza went to fetch her bathrobe and slippers.
A few minutes later, Liza sat down at her kitchen table with a cup of hot tea and reached for the first of the Colonel's letters, addressed on the outside to Ms. Hawkeye. Liza slit the envelope open and pulled out a piece of the stationery the Colonel kept on his desk. She recognized it from the simple blue line running around the edge. Dear Hawkeye, she read as she took a sip of piping-hot tea.
Dear Hawkeye,
I know this is going to seem strange to you, and you'll probably be angry with me for asking, but: Could you take today to come to the office? You know this is Farman's day off, and Fury called me yesterday evening to tell me he seems to have caught the flu - it's been circulating around the dorm for a while, as I understand. And today's a Wednesday! You know what that means - paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork. I can't see why they have to choose Wednesday to dump the biggest load of paperwork on us, but what can we do? I'll have to make sure to change it to Thursday when I become Fuhrer.
That was a joke, by the way. You never do laugh at any of my jokes, so I won't insist on it this time either.
Anyway, I simply don't think I can manage this Wednesday without you, Farman, and Fury. You know - better than I do, probably - that you three are the only ones who get much of anything done. I'm sorry to do this to you; I know you don't get enough vacation as it is, but I hope you'll have pity on me and come. You can take Monday off next week to make up for it.
Sincerely,
Roy Mustang
Liza let out an irritated huff as she looked at the Colonel's curlicued signature. She would come. Oh, of course she would come. He hadn't really given her an option - ordering her as a superior officer, and appealing to her emotions to top it off. Really, the nerve! Liza filled her mouth with tea and let it sit there, the bittersweet liquid stinging her tongue, and wondered what would happen if she simply refused to come. It would serve him right, she thought. Maybe teach him how to work efficiently for a change. If he worked harder, I could take the regular amount of vacation instead of having to babysit him all the time.
She swallowed her mouthful of tea and ran her tongue around the inside of her mouth, feeling the unpleasant residue on her teeth. She let out another sigh and cupped her cold fingers around the mug. The Colonel knew her too well. He had written just the right words to make her feel sorry for him, sitting in the office acting like an immature preteen, complaining about the workload and staring out the window. If she didn't go into work this morning, he would be in complete misery for the rest of the week, trying to get the paperwork in on time. Naturally, she thought sourly. He can't do a thing without me.
Liza was about to rise from her chair and begin preparing herself, when she looked down at the pile of mail and noticed the third letter the Colonel had sent her. She picked it up, wondering how else he hoped to persuade her. Was he going to make up some tale about the Homunculi threatening his life and him being useless without his bodyguard? That would be a new one, she admitted to herself. She looked at the envelope - slightly lavender in color, and addressed this time to Liza Hawkeye. Liza shrugged, took another gulp of tea and slit open this envelope as well.
The paper this time was ordinary notebook paper, the unevenly-torn edge saying it had been pulled out in haste. The letter was written in pencil, a little smudged but still perfectly legible.
My Dearest Liza,
When I reflect on how it's only been three days since I've seen you, I'm sure I must be going mad. Every hour out of your presence is an eternity of agony, till it's a wonder I can even sit upright anymore. Your face is in my thoughts with every waking moment; every time I look up I expect to meet your eyes. When the men address me, I catch myself wishing you would instead, just so I could hear your voice. It's foolish, I know. Just a few days ago you were here, and in a few days more you will be here again. I should be patient and wait, but I CAN'T, LIZA!!
I want you, Liza, I want you more with every moment, and only you will satisfy. Only you can fill this hole in my heart, only you can breathe life into my limbs. If I had to give up everything else to have you, know that I would. In an instant, in a heartbeat!
Why do you have to stay so confoundedly distant, Liza? Why do you remain so calm and rational? What are you made of, that you're so different from every other woman I've met? Why can't you be more like them? No, if you were like them, if you were not cold, calculated, and distant, you wouldn't be Liza Hawkeye anymore. You wouldn't be my Lieutenant, my life, my very soul.
There are times I want to hate you, Liza. Maybe then my mind would be clear. Maybe then I wouldn't be filled with confusion and frustration. But whenever I try to hate you, I find that I can't. How could I find it in my heart to hate the one who has stood by me from the very beginning, and never wavered? How could I detest the one woman who has not tried to win me over in any way, but all the same has the complete possession of my heart? So you see, Liza, I can't hate you if I try, but adoring you requires no effort.
I need you here with me, Liza, and unless my heart is ripped right out of my chest, I will always need you here. I know I'm terrible for asking you to come to me on a day you were supposed to be relaxing, enjoying yourself for once, but...what can I do? I'm lost here, Liza. Please come find me.
Yours Forever,
Roy
Liza found herself smiling softly at the letter. "You poor, hopeless man," she murmured to the pointy scrawl of the Colonel's name. With that, she got up, put her teacup in the sink, and bustled around getting ready for her shower. She laid out a fresh uniform, silently relieved she had thought to iron it yesterday.
"Oh, Lieutenant Hawkeye! I thought you were on vacation!"
"Yes, but I thought maybe I could drop by for a few hours and help out. I know how busy Wednesdays are."
Roy Mustang forced himself not to swivel around in his chair to watch this little scene. He continued to look out the window, at the glass coated with last night's raindrops that twinkled in the sunlight. But as he heard Havoc and Breda's enthusiastic greetings, he couldn't help smiling a little to himself. Presently he felt a soft pressure on his shoulder, and a familiar voice say gently, "Perhaps we should get started, sir."
"I thought you wouldn't want to come," Roy said in what was nearly a whisper.
"Why not?"
"This is supposed to be your vacation..."
"Well...it was an emergency."
Roy reached up with his hand and grasped hers that still rested on his shoulder. "Yes. I suppose it was."