Four Times Matt Said I Love You and One Time He Didn't

I.

It was the girl down the hall from him. He absolutely loved her. She was perfect. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and boobs that were bigger than his head. Everything that a red-blooded American man wanted. And he absolutely knew he couldn't. She had a boyfriend, some jock that was played on their school's football team.

So one day he saw her walking in the snow on campus. She was probably on her way to class. Her head was bent against the snow and her hair flew out from underneath her hat in the wind. He raced to catch up to her before she could get to the door. He got there first and opened it for her.

She looked up at him with bright, blue eyes. And she smiled, a brilliant heart-stopping smile that made his insides liquefy.

"Thanks," she said, walking into the building. He opened and closed his mouth, debating whether he should say something.

"Iloveyou," he mumbled. He was sure it had gotten carried out with the wind, but she turned around.

"What was that?" she asked, looking at him like she knew exactly what he had said.

"Nothing," he said. He always was a chicken.

II.

Janice was the prettiest girl in his mandatory Chemistry class. And she didn't even look that upset when their teacher picked him for her lab partner. She looked him in the eye and shook his hand.

"Hi, I'm Janice," she said. She smiled like she wanted to make the sun look dim in comparison. And at that moment he knew how absolutely and totally screwed he was.

They dated for two months before he'd told her. He was scared that she didn't feel the same way, that no one ever would. He took her to a bridge that overlooked a waterfall. He couldn't decide if it was sappy or romantic. Truth be told, he didn't know the difference between the two.

"Janice?"

"Yes, Matt?" she asked. He held her small hands in his. She looked into his eyes, just like she always did.

"I love you," he tried to keep the shaking out of his voice. For a moment she just stood and he thought she might slap him. Instead, she jumped forward, throwing her arms around his neck and smiling.

III.

Everyone had told him that a parent loves their child even before they're born. He didn't think anything like that was possible. Not until he'd found out that Janice was pregnant. And he loved his baby the minute he heard the words leave her head.

She was asleep on the bed. It was late and he knew he'd be leaving soon, maybe never coming back. He leaned over her and pressed his ear to her belly. He could hear her heartbeat through her skin and a low rumble every time she drew a breath. He kissed her just below the belly button.

"Daddy loves you," he whispered to the place he had left the kiss.

IV.

Molly was so small and scared, curled up in the corner, hiding from the man with a gun. He'd come here to kill her. He didn't know he had, but that was their purpose. He had a throb in his neck where the Indian guy had hit him with the fire extinguisher.

"Officer Parkman?" she asked in disbelief. He looked up.

"Molly?" He imagined they had similar looks on their faces.

He would do anything to protect her. He figured that's why he was laying in a hospital bed with four holes in his chest. She sat next to his bed everyday. The Indian guy, Suresh, would pace back and forth behind her, biting the skin at the tip of his thumb.

The first time he woke up Suresh was asleep in an uncomfortable looking chair near the door. Molly was beside him, holding his hand, her face lit up when she saw his eyes open.

"I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to get hurt. You're my hero. I'm so sorry," she was on the verge of tears. He squeezed her hand in an attempt to comfort. She stopped her babbling, but the tears still threatened to fall.

"I love you, Officer Parkman," she said, crawling onto the bed beside him. She curled up next to him, careful of all the tubes that he was hooked up to.

"I love you, too, Molly."

V.

It was just the two of them in the apartment. Molly was spending the night at a neighbor girl's place. They sat on the couch together, the television on in the background, neither of them really paying attention to it.

Every once in a while Mohinder would see him look over. Mohinder would just cock an eyebrow and take another sip of tea. There was something bothering him, that much was obvious. They had been living together for over four months now.

"Mohinder," he said. Mohinder turned, meeting his gaze. Red covered his cheeks and that made the geneticist smile. He had never seen him blush before. "I have to tell you something."

There was a long pause while Mohinder waited for him to continue. There was hesitation. So far, baring his soul to another person had not ended well. But he had to tell Mohinder, had to say before it ate away at him. He looked down at his hands twisting of their own accord in his lap.

"Yes?" Mohinder said after the silence became too much. He looked back up, stared right into those dark eyes. It was like looking into infinity, no beginning and no end. There was nothing discerning pupil from iris. He couldn't say it. So, he thought it.

I love you.

"I know, Matt" Mohinder replied. Matt looked at him in surprise, Mohinder just staring right back. Maybe he was rubbing off on him after all.