For Roxas
By: Evantis
Rated: T
Summary: Sora can feel Roxas, crying out for Axel. He tries to make one last kiss possible. Akuroku, LeonCloud
For Nut. Title is 'For Roxas', but this fic is for Nut (or lollipop-lalala. I think she's writing an Akuroku fic, too – make sure you all read it). She loves Akuroku, and she's been hounding me about this fic for weeks. It's because of her that this fic exists! She didn't want an AU, so it was kind of difficult (no, scratch that – it was torturous to write this ficlet, so many writer's blocks). Looks like the job is done. I just hope that it's acceptable.
"You want me to get rid of Roxas for you?" Merlin raises an eyebrow.
"Not get rid of," Sora says hurriedly. "I don't really mean it that way. It's just that…well, it's occurred to me somehow. You see…umm, you still remember the rest of Organization XIII, right, Merlin?"
"Of course I do, my boy," the wizard says, sounding just slightly offended.
"Well…it struck me," Sora says, fumbling with the corner of his shirt. "That…you know, Xemnas and Axel…they're all Nobodies. But they were born when someone was turned into a Heartless. Roxas is different from them."
"I don't see why," Merlin frowns.
"The people they were born out of…" Sora shakes his head. "They're all dead. But Roxas…he's in me now, because I'm alive, right?"
Merlin pauses for a moment. It seems as if realization is taking its toll, and the bearded old man pushed his glasses higher up his nose, peering at Sora queerly. "My boy, you're right. It is true…Xemnas was born out of Ansem, who is now dead. Usually, when a person changes into a Heartless, it's difficult to change back. But you…you changed because of Kairi. So naturally, Roxas has to go back to you. He is a part of you. A part of you that needs to be there. But for the rest of them…they're all free."
"This is stupid…" Sora admits, voice shaky. "I mean…Nobodies' souls floating around somewhere? I don't know…but I think Roxas can feel them. They're all free, but he isn't."
The old man grips Sora's shoulders tightly, forcing the brunette to look into his eyes. "Sora, promise you won't do anything to help Roxas. You will not kill yourself for a Nobody, you hear me? No doubt everyone else would agree."
"But…" Sora averts his gaze. "Merlin…you don't know how much it hurts. But it does. It hurts. It hurts to feel Roxas's pain. I can't even sleep sometimes…and on certain nights I can ever hear him screaming. Gaia…I can't take it anymore, Merlin."
"My boy, you just need some sleeping remedies," Merlin says kindly. "Even Aerith can concoct potions like that. In any case, I'll give you something to help you sleep. If Roxas still persists in his nightly outcries, you may come back and we will find another alternative."
Sora just nods. He doesn't want to say it, but he knows Merlin hasn't done much to help.
Cloud pushes himself out of bed, and walks over to the monitor in the corner of the room. He turns back a little, to see the chocolate-haired gunblader, the object of his affection, still fast asleep on the bed, blankets pulled over his head. The blonde cannot resist a small smile, and then he returns his attention to the monitor, alarmed by the small blinking red dot in the corner of the screen.
He knows it's an intruder.
He leans forward slightly, unable to see much of anything except a black-cloaked figure, stumbling carelessly out of the Marketplace. Out of the Marketplace. It had been half a year since the sign had been posted stark and clear in the centre of the Marketplace: No Outsiders In The Borough And Beyond. This is inclusive of the Bailey, even. The Borough is a residential area, and for the safety of the residents, the Radiant Garden Restoration Committee had decided to ban travellers and outsiders to be anywhere but the Marketplace. This is with the exception of family members and friends, but they would have to get a pass from Cid, who guarded this boundary.
Cid…will Cid be all right? This guy looks…different.
Cloud really cannot see much, but a shock of red hair poking out a little from beneath the hood of the cloaked man. More disturbingly still, it is obvious the man is walking purposefully towards the Borough. Cloud can see, from another monitor – Cid sitting in the centre of the staircase leading down to the Borough. It's obvious the mechanic has spotted the visitor as well, for the blonde man's eyes are blue and alert. Cloud reaches to pick up the telecommunications device connected to the computer, and contacts Cid.
"Kid? Is that ya?""Cloud here," he replies. "We have a visitor."
"Yeah, I see 'im. Been watchin' 'im since he came. Suspicious fella, ain't he? But he ain't doin' nothin' yet, so we can't really get 'im. He's headin' here, though. Whaddya want me to do? Where's Leon?"
"He's exhausted," Cloud answers. "He was on patrol the whole morning because Yuffie fell sick. Let him rest. I'll take care of this. Cid, just tell him the rules. If he doesn't listen, get out of the way. This guy is dangerous. I'll deal with him, then."
Axel walks aimlessly.
He doesn't know where he is. This town is lively, busy and loud. The sky above is such a pure shade of blue, the ground below him filled with warmth. Women and children shop happily, and gruff men sit in tight rings, drinking coffee and eating breakfast. Stalls are open, and flooded with people. Axel doesn't even know why he's here.
The only thing that he is thinking of is a pair of blue eyes that belong to a boy he doesn't remember.
Sora lies on his bed as twilight starts to set in.
He hates twilights. Ever since the death of Xemnas, twilights have become a painful thing for him. Sora supposes it's because Roxas came from Twilight Town, and the sight of a orangey-red sky, with hues of a yellow and gold setting sun brought back happy – and painful – memories for Roxas. So much emotions roiling in the Nobody, that Sora is affected.
Sora doesn't really mind Roxas. He has never really met the other, but he knows Roxas is a good person. He knows, and believes, from the bottom of his heart, that the Nobody doesn't intend to hurt anyone. And he knows, despite what everyone says – Nobodies have feelings. Roxas's sorrow and unending longing for Axel is proof enough for that.
"…xel."
A fist flies up to grip his chest, and his shoulders heave in pain. Sora's breath quickens, as the splitting agony cuts through his body, radiating from his heart. It hurts. Oh, fucking Gaia – it hurts.
"…xel…come…ack…Axel…"
Sora closes his eyes and bites his bottom lip, a futile attempt to numb the pain. He buries his face in his pillow, as cold sweat rolls down the sides of his face, the liquid sticking his brown hair against his neck.
"Axel, come back!"
The scream is so real, so despairing that Sora realizes it is not only Roxas's heart calling out, but his own as well.
Axel stops in front of an old man who stands adamantly in front of him. He is dressed ruggedly, in a white shirt and muggy trousers, along with something that was probably a belly warmer. A cigarette is stuck out of his mouth, and his blue eyes suspiciously follows Axel's every movement.
"Sorry, pal – but ya ain't allowed past 'ere, 'less ya got a family or friends livin' in there, but ya gotta have someone pick ya up," the man says gruffly.
Bright blue eyes.
Brilliant.
Bright.
Lively.
Smiling.
Crying.
"Axel, come back!"
He doesn't know what he's doing. Are his hands moving on their own? He brings them up, and sending he feels cold metal pressed against his palm. Fire erupts around his hands, but it doesn't hurt him. He doesn't understand this, but he knows. He knows.
Blue eyes.
He needs to find them.
He throws his engulfed spinning discs at the old man.
"Where's Cloud?" Leon asks Aerith irritably. "He disappeared."
"He left the house a while ago," Aerith replies, concocting a mixture to treat Yuffie's fever. "Didn't he tell you?"
"I was asleep," the brunette says evenly.
"Ah, you know how he is – he probably didn't want to disturb you," the flower girl suggests.
"Did he say where he was going?"
"Something about the Marketplace?" Aerith shrugs. "I think Cid's facing some trouble. Didn't you see the computer in your room? A stranger's trying to get into the Borough."
Leon cannot think of anything but how crazy the blonde is.
There is a loud clang from the meeting of metal. Axel looks up, half-expecting to see the old man dead on the ground.
Unfortunately, the old man is nowhere to be seen. In his place stands a lithe, spiky-haired young man. The man's eyes at the colour of the deep-sea blue, nothing like the blue in Axel's mind. The man wields a sword that probably weighs twice of him, and Axel cannot help but feel shock that the other can pick the sword up so easily, and yet single-handedly.
"You're not allowed past here," the blonde man says. His voice is quiet and soft, soothing.
Axel spins his discs in his hands. "Get out of my way," he grits out. He doesn't want to hurt this gentle-looking person. He sincerely doesn't.
"Don't cause trouble for us," the man says, his voice becoming slightly pleading. "We don't want to hurt you. Stay in the Marketplace, and don't do anything out of the ordinary. You're not allowed in residential areas."
Blue eyes.
"See you, Axel."
Axel throws the fiery weapons at the blonde man with all his might.
I'll find you.
Leon runs up the stairs that lead down to the Borough. He doesn't believe what he sees.
Cloud lies on his side on the ground, curled into a shaking ball. He is bleeding, and Leon can feel the adrenaline increasing in speed through his veins. He rushes to the blonde's side, and kneels down next to Cloud, carefully cradling the smaller one to his chest. Blood stains his hands, his clothes and Leon is unaware of the gaping wound in Cloud's side.
"Hyne, what happened?" Leon questions the unconscious man.
A grunt. Leon turns around, and he sees Cid – back against the wall, head bowed. Blood flows from a head wound, but he's obviously not in any life-threatening danger.
"Cid? Cid, you hear me?" the gunblader shouts, unwilling to move, to leave Cloud. He tightens his grip on the lithe body.
"Fuckin' Gaia…" the mechanic curses, his head rolling as the cloud lifts from his mind. "Leon…is that ya?"
"Yeah, it's me…look, Cid – what happened?" the gunblader demands. He gently rests Cloud's head against his shoulder, slips his arms gently below the crook of his knees and around his shoulders, and lifts the thin man off the ground. He walks towards the mechanic.
"Some guy…weird…stranger…never seen 'im around 'fore…" Cid mutters, almost incoherently. But Leon has been around long enough to understand the man, through his fits, through his hangovers, and this is nothing difficult. "Red hair…spiky…greenish eyes…throwin' fire 'round…I saw 'im…stopped 'im…attacked me…kid came…fought 'im…got hurt…stupid kid…bein' too soft, as usual…man left…Borough…gotta stop 'im…gotta…" And the mechanic promptly passed out.
Leon curses under his breath. He gently sets Cloud down on the ground, wincing at the sight of the crimson liquid pooling beneath them. He haphazardly takes Cid, and throws the old man over his shoulder. He gathers the blonde tenderly in his arms again, and runs for Aerith's house.
"Well, hey there, little guy. The name's Axel. Got it memorized?"
"I'm Roxas."
"Welcome to Organization XIII. Xemnas's a bloody slave-driver, and Vexen is one sick fuck, but I hope you'll enjoy your time with us."
Sora lies on his bed, and he hardly notices it when his bedroom door is slammed open, and a stranger stands in the doorway. A man Sora has never met before, but a man he has constantly seen in Roxas's memories.
Unruly, spiky red hair and a pair of emerald green eyes. Smoking metal discs hang limply from his hands, and he staggers into the bedroom. The black coat he is wearing is shredded at the shoulder. Did he get into a fight? Sora has no time to ponder. His body feels like lead, and his limbs cannot move.
And Roxas has gotten stronger.
"Axel! Axel!"
Sora's breath is laboured. His mind screams at him in impatience, telling him to run. The red-haired stranger nears his bed, and simply throws himself over Sora, straddling the smaller boy, his green eyes misty.
"…Ro…xas…" he murmurs.
Sora shakes his head, a valiant attempt to contradict the man.
"…Ro…xas…I'm…h…ere…"
Roxas is crying. Sora can feel it. The tears are pouring down his own cheeks, cold against his slightly tanned skin. Roxas's tears are his own.
The man leans down, his lips brushing against Sora's.
Reality wakes Sora. He is just in time to jerk his head to one side, avoiding the kiss. Green eyes look hurt, Roxas screams, but Sora resists. No, he cannot do such a thing. He's not Roxas. He cannot be the Nobody's replacement for this man, no matter what his intentions are. No matter how strong their relationship is.
He is not Roxas.
"What's…wrong, Ro…xas?" the man whispers, his breath making Sora's skin tingle.
"
"He's fine for the moment," Aerith assures. "You might want to go in and comfort him. Just be there when he wakes."
Leon nods. "I'll be there."
"He tried hard for you," Aerith says softly. "Don't blame him. You know how he is. He's too soft."
The gunblader turns away. "I wish he'd have more sense."
"He would never intentionally hurt another person," Aerith whispers. Then, as if to lighten the mood, she adds, "Except maybe Sephiroth."
"I'll be in his room, then."
Roxas overpowers Sora.
Sora feels himself fade away. He loses his control of his body, he feels himself pushed back into the deepest recesses of his mind. He feels someone run past, take control.
Roxas.
The Keyblade Master watches from the sidelines. He wants to regain control, but he doesn't want to spoil this. He doesn't want to spoil what little scraps of a reunion, of a very last meeting the two Nobodies have.
Roxas is still crying. His blue eyes pour out tears of hurt, joy and relief. His pale hands grasp at Axel's hair, soft beneath his light fingers. Axel's lips are pressed against his, one gentle kiss. Axel's hands gently pull Roxas's away from his hair, and he entwines their fingers together. He presses Roxas down harder on the bed, taking charge. His fingers grasp at the buttons of Roxas's shirt (well, Sora's), carefully undoing them.
The smaller boy whimpers and looks straight into Axel's eyes. "This is…the last time…isn't it?"
The other Nobody continues on undoing Roxas's shirt, unfazed. "Perhaps. But we'll meet again."
"You…p-promise?" Roxas gasps, as Axel bites lightly on his neck.
"I promise," Axel says, fierce determination in his eyes. His touch is fleeting across the pale expanse of Roxas's skin. "Remember," he says, kissing Roxas deeply again. He pulls away just very slightly, "to thank Sora."
Unable to do anything.
Helpless.
Is this what Roxas feels all the time?
This never-ending loneliness, this desolation, the complete desertion. The complete absence of another living being. The lack of warmth and companionship.
Sora knows now.
Helpless, behind an invisible wall, he watches Axel kiss Roxas. So devotedly, so gently, yet still instilled with passion and desire, heated by the flames of lust and tender love.
Axel holds Roxas, chin resting on a head of messy blonde spikes. He holds the smaller boy tightly against his body, one of his hands clenched on Roxas's shoulder, the other holding tightly the blonde's hand.
Tears have dried on the smaller boy's cheeks. He looks up at Axel, eyes sorrowful.
"When do you have to go?" he asks.
"Soon," Axel's expression is soft. "Next time, you'll be coming for me. Right?"
"It's still a long way more," Roxas admits.
"I'll wait," Axel says, green eyes boring into Roxas's crystal blue ones. "I'll wait forever, if I have to." He toys with a lock of Roxas's hair. "But you're lucky, Roxas. You get to experience life longer than any of us. Because Sora lives."
Roxas doesn't say anything. He contemplates if Sora's life is a good thing. Everything would be finished if Sora was dead. He would be with Axel if Sora was dead.
"Enjoy it while you can," Axel whispers. "See everything. And when you come home…tell me everything. And after that…it'll be just you and me."
Roxas swallows thickly. The tears fall down his cold cheeks in thin rivulets. "I'll miss you."
Axel's touch becomes faint. He hates this. He doesn't want to leave Roxas in this world all by himself. "I'll miss you, too, Roxas. And…I love you."
"Me too," Roxas whispers.
The red-haired Nobody feels his body evaporating back into that empty dimension of vacuum and space. He feels his body leaving reality, he can hardly feel Roxas's heat beneath him.
"Come home soon."
When Sora regains control of his body, the first thing he sees is Axel's face.
"Take care of him."
Sora can only dumbly nod. Then he sees Roxas, trudging back to his usual place in Sora's mind. His blue eyes are still leaking with salty tears, but a light burns brightly in them.
"Thank you, Sora."