Felicity-

I told myself I'd never be helpless again. I told myself I would always be in control, always be strong, always be the one in charge. I always told myself that I would be the last one standing.
What a lie.

I should hate her. I have every single reason in the world to hate her. But I can't. I love her too much, and beyond that, I need her too much. In fact, I don't think it is friendship, or love, that keeps me near Gemma Doyle. She has what I need, what I should have, what I have every right to have! But I don't.
Because the wonderful Gemma Doyle, Gemma who isn't as smart as Ann, who isn't as charming as me, who isn't as beautiful as Pip, is the special one.
She has nothing that I don't have. I have everything.
Everything.
I had everything.

She's killing us all inside, without even knowing it.
Gemma is killing me, with her power, with the strength she doesn't think she has. She is so lucky, so lucky and she doesn't realize it. I would give up everything for the power she has. I have already tried, and still she is the special one.
She is killing Ann, because she likes to think she can help. And Ann knows that one day we will leave her and stop calling. And she is dying from the inside.
She's killed Pippa. My beautiful Pippa. A shining source of beauty, until she was tainted with Gemma's magic, with berries as red as her lips. I loved Pippa, like I will never, ever love anyone else.
Then enter Gemma Doyle, who showed us the meaning of beauty, beyond corsets and lace, and made us hope for more.
I was once addicted to Pippa, in an offhand sort of way. Now I am addicted to the realms, to the power.
Take a moment and hand me the absinthe. The laudanum.
It can't compare. Not to the beauty, not to the hope.

How ironic. It all comes back to her, doesn't it?

A/N: Hey. This is my first fanfic, based on an idea I had last night. It isn't too good, so I'll probably come back and edit it later, if I get any hits or constructive criticism. Which is GREATLY appreciated, by the way. And if you decide to flame, go ahead. It's annoying, but don't expect a response.

Thankayou!

Much Love,
Scales