(AN: This stems from another crackfic challenge, though this time the topic is Phoenix Wright. Note that this was written at about four in the morning so bear with my randomness.

Phoenix Wright and all related characters belong to Nintendo/Capcom.

Gumshoe+ Edgeworth. There's a running joke that Edgeworth will eventually dock Gumshoe's pay so far down that the poor detective will have to pay to work.)

Miles Edgeworth was not a very difficult man to please when it came to investigations. He simply wanted cold hard facts, and having obtained these, could argue his way into a guilty verdict more often than not. Cold facts were what had won him his fearsome reputation in court and made him one of the most sought after prosecutors in Japan. Therefore it was hardly surprising that the bane of his life was one Detective Dick Gumshoe.

It wasn't that the man was COMPLETELY incompetent, just that he had forgetful tendencies. He was also prone to jumping to conclusions. His assumption that the Fey girl had murdered her sister had lead to the first of many inglorious defeats that now littered Edgeworth's until then spotless record. While Gumshoe meant well, his actions always seemed to have the opposite affect of his intent. Edgeworth's only recourse was, of course to dock his pay, but even that didn't seem to be enough to change the bumbling detective's ways.

So it was that a rather bright and cheery Saturday found Edgeworth in a rather dark office poring over the latest batch of case files, thankful that all the botched cases the good detective had been involved with hadn't deterred people from requesting his services. Unlike the office of Fey and Co., Edgeworth often found himself flooded with requests even as he lost yet another case to Wright. There were perks to notoriety, Edgeworth noted rather smugly as he closed his current case file. Yes, things were looking better than last week, with that drive by shooting case that Gumshoe had given him a faulty ballistics report for, once again allowing Wright to pull yet another victory out of his hands. Ah, but it did no good to dwell on those thoughts, and turning his mind to the current case, Edgeworth found his smug, relatively sunny disposition returning.

Naturally, it was at that moment that Detective Gumshoe decided to come plowing through the door and into his office. Edgeworth found his grin quickly dropping down into a frown of displeasure, and his tone was laced with sarcasm as he said, "Ah, Detective, nice of you to drop by."

Dick, with all the perceptiveness of oatmeal, responded with a face cracking grin and, "Hey, pal, you'll never believe what I turned up on the Grayson-Anders homicide!'

Edgeworth could just FEEL the headache forming behind his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose, he looked up, "Oh, and what would that be?"

Gumshoe just stood there looking like the proverbial cat that swallowed the canary and Edgeworth found his patience disappearing with the passing seconds, "Well? OUT WITH IT, MAN!"

Gumshoe jumped a bit at the tone, but quickly recovered, "The victim, Grayson, had a lighter in his pocket!"

That was it; Edgeworth stood, and glared at Gumshoe, who finally picked up on his boss's irritation and had the good sense to quail, "How is that piece of INANE information of any use to me?! Don't even try to answer that, as I'm sure you have no clue. How did you ever become a detective? You're so dense it's amazing you've ever been able to figure out where this office is, let alone any crime scene! All of the cases you've worked on have been a complete and utter mess and have made me the laughing stock of the law community for months!!! I'm docking your pay so low; you'll have to pay to work for ME! Now get out of this office!" Gumshoe sat there, mouth agape, until Edgeworth barked out, "NOW, DETECTIVE!!!!!!"

Outside the receptionist, looked at the shell-shocked Gumshoe and said, "what was that about? I've never Heard Mr. Edgeworth yell like that."

Gumshoe looked over, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy, "I don't know…He didn't even give me time to tell him that the victim didn't smoke!"

(Don't get me wrong I love Gumshoe, he's probably one of the funniest characters in these games. It's just I have a feeling he'd irritate Edgeworth to the point where he'd give poor oblivious Gumshoe nine shades of holy Hell. And brownie points for anyone who can catch the DC comics reference in here. Please read and review!)