Chapter Ten

Ralph and Yakko crept along atop the castle's outer wall, staying low enough to avoid detection as they awkwardly carried Buster with most of his weight being supported by Yakko's back. They came to a stop and Yakko shifted to his side, easing Buster off his back while Ralph peaked over the side of the wall.

"Anything?" Yakko asked.

"Yakko, there's more than thirty." Ralph said, referring to the sixty men guarding the gate.

"What's the difference?" Yakko asked. "We've got him." He said, holding up Buster's head, then letting it slump limply back to the side the moment he let go.

"Help me here. We'll have to force feed him." Yakko said as they propped Buster up against the wall.

"Has it been fifteen minutes?" Ralph asked.

"We can't wait." Yakko said. "The wedding is in half an hour. We must strike in the hustle and bustle beforehand." He said as he retrieved the miracle pill from its pouch. "Open his mouth." He instructed. Ralph did as he was asked and held Buster's mouth open. Yakko inserted the pill.

"Uh, how long do we have to wait, before if we know the miracle works?" Ralph asked.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Yakko replied. It was then that Buster's eyes slowly started to open.

"Yakko?" Buster asked weakly, relieved to see a friendly face.

"Hey." Yakko greeted with a slight wave. He then proceeded to draw back his fist, sending it crashing into Buster's face.

"What the heck was that for?" Buster asked.

"You've been making out with my little sister, blue ears. It's my job as older brother to hurt you." Yakko stated bluntly.

"Didn't I suffer enough back in the pit of despair?" Buster asked.

"You mean they actually tortured you just to film a scene?" Yakko asked a bit skeptically.

"No. But right after we shot the scene, Babs showed up to have a little 'talk' about all the 'acting' I've been doing with Dot. Needless to say, she beat the crap outta me. And we're officially broken up at this point." Buster explained.

"Really..." Yakko said. "So she's available then." He mused distractedly, a hand to his chin.

"Wait... You just hit me when I'm already injured, now you're gonna ask out my Ex? That's gotta be against some kinda unwritten guy code!" Buster exclaimed.

"The guy code also says I have to keep hitting you till my sister comes and pulls me off while proclaiming that she loves you. And right about now, that could take at least a few hours. Care to forgo that bit of triviality?" Yakko asked while gripping Buster's collar, his fist at the ready. The rabbit nodded apprehensively.

"Great!" Yakko said cheerily, releasing Buster. He turned to the camera. "Take two!" He called out.

"Yakko?" Buster said weakly, relieved to see a friendly face.

"Hey." Yakko greeted with a slight wave.

"Why won't my arms move?" Buster asked.

"You've been mostly dead all day." Ralph explained.

"We had Wonderful Walter make a pill to bring you back." Yakko said.

"Why am I on this wall?" Buster asked. "Where's Dot?" He asked more urgently.

"Let me explain." Yakko started. "No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Dot is marrying Max in less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, and make our escape. After I kill Count Salazar."

"That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying." Buster mused as he absently drummed his thumb against his chest.

"Hey! you just wiggled your finger! That's wonderful!" Ralph exclaimed.

"I've always been a quick healer." Buster said in reply. "What are our liabilities?" He asked, quickly shifting gears.

"There is but one working castle gate." Yakko started. "Come on." He said, lifting Buster a bit with Ralph's assistance so the rabbit could see over the wall. "And it's guarded by sixty men." He finished.

"And our assets?" Buster asked as they returned to a crouched position.

"Your brains, Ralph's strength, my steel, and dashing good looks." Yakko said.

"That's it?" Buster asked. "Impossible. If I had a month to plan, maybe I could come up with something, but this..." He shook his head.

"You just shook your head! That doesn't make you happy?" Ralph asked.

"My brains, his steel, and your strength, against sixty men... and a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy?" Buster asked irritably. Ralph's positive mood refused to change. Buster turned his head away with a disgruntled sigh. "If we only had a sewing kit, that would be something." He said. A box containing needles, thread, and other sewing essentials suddenly fell from the sky, landing in Buster's lap. He quirked an eyebrow, staring quizzically at the box. He looked back and forth between Ralph and Yakko as if to verify that they were indeed seeing the same thing, then shifted his gaze skyward as best he could in his present condition. Ralph and Yakko followed suit.

"Uh... we could also use a large sheet of spotted orange fabric." Buster said experimentally. The trio atop the castle wall suddenly found themselves engulfed in a sheet of spotted orange material from the sky. They quickly removed it from over their heads and set it aside. Buster cleared his throat and continued.

"Ok, we'll also be needing some foam stuffing, a zipper, and whatever else it might take to make this thing." Buster said as each item fell from the sky and into the hands of Ralph and Yakko.

"Oh, and I'll be needing a sword eventually." Buster added as a second thought. Yakko skillfully intercepted the incoming sword by it's handle, turning to Buster.

"What exactly do you need with a sword?" Yakko asked. "You can't even lift one."

"True, but that's hardly common knowledge." Buster replied. "Now come on, we need this thing done before the next scene starts."

Night fell, the ragtag trio returned to the castle, ready to execute Buster's plan. They threw their hands together in resolution.

Meanwhile, inside the castle, the wedding ceremony was already well underway.

"Mawwiage..." The clergy began. "Mawwiage is what bwings us to togevuh today... Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam." He said. Faintly, in the background, a voice could be heard from outside the castle.

"Stand yer' ground men! Stand yer' ground!" Sam ordered as his men instinctively backed away from the imposing figure that stood before them.

"Hi! I'm Baloney! Let's be friends and have fun imagining things!" The orange dinosaur exclaimed in a sickeningly jovial tone. The men shrieked in fear and began fleeing for their lives. Back inside the castle, Max signaled Count Salazar to go investigate as the clergy continued to drone. In turn, Salazar signaled a small procession of guards to follow him as he made his exit. Outside, Sam continued futilely attempting to prevent his men from abandoning their posts.

"Ya lily livered cowards, get back here!" Sam protested, even as the last man fled in terror. Suddenly finding himself alone, he felt the urge to flee as well, but stood his ground despite it. Thinking quickly, he grabbed up a fallen torch, setting the advancing beast ablaze.

Back in the castle, the clergy continued his exhaustive speech, wearing at Max's last nerve.

"So tweasure your wov..."

"Just skip to the end already!" Max grumbled.

"Have you the wing?" The clergy asked. Max hurriedly placed the ring on Dot's finger.

"My Buster is near." Dot said. "Nothing can stop him from saving me now."

"Your Buster is dead." Max countered. "I killed him myself." He boasted.

"Then why is there fear in your eyes?" Dot asked, boldly staring him down. He rubbed his eyes, attempting to remove the literal word fear that had somehow appeared in them.

Outside, Ralph and Yakko emerged from the burning costume, tossing it aside as Sam withdrew to the gate, attempting to close the grating in front of it.

"Ralph, the portcullis!" Buster called out as the grating dropped. Reacting quickly, Ralph grabbed hold of the portcullis before they closed, raising them back up with a grunt of effort. Sam stared dumbly like a dear in headlights. Meanwhile, Yakko busied himself toting Buster to the gate, coming to a stop alongside Sam and further surrounding him.

"Give us the gate key." Buster ordered.

"I ain't gots no gate key." Sam fibbed stubbornly, despite being in fear for his life.

"Ralph, sit on him." Yakko instructed.

"Oh, ya mean this key right here!" Sam quickly interjected, producing the key. Ralph promptly snatched it from his hand. Back inside the castle, the agonizing ceremony continued.

"And do you, Pwincess Dwhot..."

"Man and wife! Say man and wife!" Max exclaimed in frustration.

"Man and wife." The clergy said without complaint. At the sound of those three words, Dot stood gaping in wide-eyed disbelief.

"Escort the bride to the honeymoon suite. I'll be there shortly." Max instructed gruffly as he handed her off to Runt.

"He didn't come..." Dot said distantly as Rita and Runt began guiding her out of the wedding hall. She then paused for a moment, taking an entirely different expression.

"#&#&#!" She exclaimed.

Elsewhere in the castle, Salazar and his small troop of guards rushed to investigate the sounds heard at the gate.

A few halls down, Ralph and Yakko crept along silently while dragging Buster along. Yakko cautiously checked the next hall over for any sign of guards, finding nothing but an empty hallway. The trio proceeded, only to come face to face with Salazar as he and his men entered the hall a moment later. Yakko stood at the ready, not so much as flinching. Salazar regarded him with a curious eye.

"Kill the rabbit and the large man, but leave the third for questioning." Salazar instructed.

His men charged, attempting to carry out their order. Yakko nimbly dispatched each of them in a symphony of deadly jabs and slashes, lasting no more than three seconds. His task completed, he stood to his full hight and spoke.

"Hello..." He began. "My name is Yakko Montoya... You killed my father... Prepare to die." He said, moving into a fencing stance at the end of his speech. Salazar stood as if preparing to duel as well. Then abruptly turned tail and ran. Recovering from his initial shock, Yakko promptly gave chase.

With his lead, Salazar managed to slip out through a door halfway down the next hall, quickly locking it behind himself before Yakko could reach it. The avenging warner slammed his side into the door futilely; once... twice... He then tried the handle, also to no avail.

"Ralph! I need you!" Yakko shouted, even as he frantically attempted to break down the door himself.

"I can't leave him alone." Ralph replied, pointing to Buster.

"He's getting away from me Ralph! Please!" Yakko pleaded frantically, repeatedly slamming himself against the door.

"I'll be right back." Ralph said, temporarily placing Buster against a nearby suit of armor. He then made his way to the next hall over and easily toppled the door for Yakko.

"Thanks." Yakko said, quickly resuming his pursuit of Salazar. With that done, Ralph returned to the spot he had left Buster, only to find him gone. He scratched his head in bewilderment.

Meanwhile, in one of the castle's many other halls, Dot was being led along by Rita and Runt as they briefly reflected on the spectacle they had just witnessed.

"That sure was a strange wedding Rita." Runt commented.

"Very strange." Rita added passively. Dot paid little attention to their exchange and simply paused to put her arms around Runt in a gentle embrace.

"What was that for?" Runt asked once she had pulled away.

"Because you've always been so kind to me. And I won't be seeing you again. Since I'm climbing out the window and booking it like Brad Pit being chased by a herd of stampeding french emu once we reach the honey moon suite." Dot said.

"Boy, won't that be nice?" Runt said. "Hey Rita, can we come?" He asked.

"No." Rita replied flatly.

Back with Yakko, the hunt for Salazar continued.

Hall after hall, room after room, door after door, he chased relentlessly.

Finally, Salazar paused halfway down a set of spiraling stone steps to draw a small dagger from a sheath concealed within his boot. He then continued down the steps into the vacant dining hall, lying in wait to ambush his pursuer. The dagger was hurled the moment Yakko came within range, embedding itself in his gut with sudden and abrupt force. He stumbled back against the wall by the steps, barely able to stand.

"Sorry father..." He said. "I tried... I tried..." He repeated.

"You must be that little warner brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago." Salazar mused as he calmly approached with a smug stride to his step. "Simply incredible." He said. "Have you been chasing me your whole life, only to fail now?" He asked rhetorically. "I think that's the worst thing I've ever heard." He commented. "How marvelous." He added with a sickening grin of delight, looking on gleefully as Yakko sank to the floor in terrible pain.

His smug expression and perverse delight in the suffering of another seemed to light a fire within the fallen warner. With a shuddering gasp, Yakko tugged the blade from his gut, placing a hand over his injury to stop the bleeding.

Slowly, he pulled himself back to his feet, using his sword like a cane for extra leverage and steadying himself against the wall for balance.

"Good heavens, are you still trying to win?" Salazar asked as Yakko attempted a step forward, only to stagger back into the wall, quaking in pain at the very effort.

"You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble someday." Salazar said, drawing his sword, then thrusting it towards Yakko's chest.

Despite his weakened state, Yakko was able to partially deflect the blade with his own sword, causing it to enter his left shoulder instead of puncturing his heart or lungs. Salazar tried again, only to have his thrust redirected to Yakko's right arm in the same manner.

Growing throughly vexed, he attempted to strike with a swift vertical slash instead of a jab. Yakko defended once again, this time more vigorously, blocking Salazar's attack completely.

"Hello..." Yakko said, straightening himself and slowly stepping away from the wall as Salazar backed away. "My name is Yakko Montoya... You killed my father... Prepare to die..." He finished, suddenly losing strength from blood loss and catching himself against one of the dining hall tables. Seeing this as an opportunity, Salazar once again thrust his sword towards Yakko's heart, only to have it swatted aside. Yakko straightened himself with renewed balance as several more attacks came, his sword arm moving as if of its own accord to block each strike.

"Hello..." Yakko said with an almost eerie calm as Salazar once again began backing away. "My name is Yakko Montoya... You killed my father... Prepare to die..." He said with an unnerving certainty. Salazar lashed out with his blade yet again. Yakko easily countered his increasingly clumsy strikes, driving him back into one of the tables and causing him to knock over one of the many candle holders.

"Hello!" Yakko exclaimed as Salazar quickly righted himself. "My name is Yakko Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." He said as Salazar backed away.

"Stop saying that!" Salazar snapped, taking an un-calculated swing at Yakko. He quickly found himself rewarded with a painful jab to his left shoulder. His eyes bugged out in shock at the sudden jolt of pain. His pain quickly turned to anger as he took another swing at Yakko. Yakko ducked and swiftly jabbed him in the right arm as well.

"Hello!" Yakko said as the clashing of swords continued. "My name is Yakko Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!" He exclaimed, driving Salazar towards the table against the wall.

"No!" Salazar exclaimed as Yakko bypassed his defenses, slashing his left cheek with the tip of his sword, just as Salazar had done to him all those years ago.

"Offer me money." Yakko ordered, his blade dancing dangerously close to Salazar's face.

"Yes, yes, of course!" Salazar agreed fearfuly.

"Power too, promise me that." Yakko said, slashing his other cheek.

"All that I have and more. Please." Salazar pleaded.

"Offer me everything I ask for." Yakko said with a flourish, taking his hand away from his injury and moving into a fencing stance.

"Anything you want." Salazar stated darkly, anger rising in his tone. At that, he batted Yakko's sword aside to prevent him from using it to defend, then quickly went for the kill, only to have his sword arm stopped cold by Yakko's free hand as the warner's blade entered his body.

"I want my father back, you son of a #&#&." Yakko said, driving the sword in even further. He then took his foot and unceremoniously kicked Salazar off the end of his blade and into the table, letting him slump limply to the floor in a lifeless heap. An empty silence followed as he simply stood there, once again clutching his injury.

"Wow, that really wasn't like me at all." Yakko mused, regarding the lifeless body at his feat. Unsure of whet else to do, he shrugged and made his exit.

Meanwhile, in the honeymoon suite, Dot entered with a clear plan of action in her mind. She purposefully approached the window, paying little or no heed to anything else.

"Careful out there..." A familiar voice began. "Pirates in the area. And I'm told that they're more than just a bit clever."

"Buster!" Dot cried, rushing to the rabbit and throwing herself over him in a tight embrace, his barely contained yelp and pained expression going completely unnoticed. "You finally came for me!" She exclaimed. "(A little late...)" She muttered, pulling back from the hug a bit. "But you came!" She continued, quickly renewing the embrace.

"I was late?" Buster asked, sounding a bit strained and still wincing from the pressure being applied to his battered form.

"Well I did get married just before you got here." Dot explained dryly.

"Did you say I do?" Buster asked.

"Well, no. We sort of skipped that part." Dot replied.

"Then it never happened." Buster said. "If you didn't say it, you didn't do it." He explained. "Isn't that right, your highness?" He asked, speaking to Max who stood at the doorway.

"A technicality that will shortly be remedied." Max replied. "But first things first." He said, drawing his sword and throwing down its sheath. "To the death!" He challenged.

"No!" Buster countered. "To the crane!" He exclaimed.

"To the what?" Max asked, pausing in confusion. A giant crane machine claw suddenly dropped from above, snatching him up before he knew what hit him.

"What the... what is this... how did you...!" Max stammered in disbelief.

"Beats me. That was there when I got here." Buster said with a shrug. A secret panel in the wall suddenly opened to reveal a familiar looking girl at the controls of the crane.

"I got you now Monty head!" Elmyra exclaimed. "Now I can hug you, and squeeze you, and kiss you, and love you forever and ever!" She said as she used the crane to bring Max closer and closer.

"I'll get you for this rabbit!" Max screamed as he struggled to escape. "If it's the last thing I do, you'll..."

Before Max could complete his sentence, he found his air supply being cut off by Elmyra's crushing embrace. Ignoring them both, Dot and Buster turned their attention back to each other.

"So..." Buster began. "You never did answer my question."

"Was it in the script?" Dot said, repeating Buster's question. He nodded.

"It was..." Dot said, looking off to the side a bit. "But... I really do like you." She said, her focus returning to Buster. "Even if you are a trifling playboy." She added with a smirk. "Of course, I still can't officially date you, so long as you're a trifling playboy with a girlfriend."

"Correction; a trifling playboy who currently finds himself unattached! (And has the bruises to prove it.)" Buster said, muttering the last part to himself for the most part. "And might I add that this "trifling playboy" didn't exactly "trifle" on his own." He added pointedly, growing a bit tired of what was quickly becoming a new nickname for himself.

"True, we're both guilty." Dot admitted. "But..." She began mischievously. "now that you two are officially broken up, there's really nothing stopping me from doing this without a script to back it up." She said, drawing closer and gently placing a kiss on Buster's forehead, the tip of his nose, and lastly...

"Cripes you two, don't let me see it!" Yakko exclaimed upon entering the room, his arm up as if shielding his eyes from the sun. The pair quickly changed positions. "Where's Ralph?" He asked, still a bit distressed.

"Yakko! Yakko, where are you?" Ralph called from outside the castle. The trio inside quickly made their way to the window.

"Oh, there you are." Ralph said upon spotting them.

"Yakko, I saw the prince's stables, and there they were, four white horses! And I thought, there are four of us... if we ever find the lady." Ralph said. He then noticed Dot at the window as well. "Hello lady!" He greeted with a wave. Dot smiled and waved back.

"So I took them with me, in case we ever bumped into each other." Ralph continued. "I guess we just did." He said, grinning broadly.

"Ralph... you did something right." Yakko commended.

"Don't worry. I won't let it go to my head." Ralph said. Everyone was smiling by then. Dot and Buster turned to each other, linking their arms together in a gentle embrace.

"This is it Dot, one more step to freedom." Buster said.

"Three more steps to happily ever after." Dot replied. They held each other's gaze for a long moment.

Yakko was just about ready to gag. His first reflex would've been to break it up. But... she did look happy. Still... he didn't exactly trust this blue eared casanova she had chosen.

"Uh, at the risk of sounding overly protective... are you sure about this guy Dot?" Yakko asked. "I mean, not exactly getting any glowing reviews from his last girlfriend here." He pointed out.

"Don't worry Yakko. Buster knows better than to cheat on me." Dot said in a placating tone. "And if he doesn't, my big brother will kill him. I'll kill him. My other big brother will kill him. And then, my pet will devour his entrails!" She added sweetly, taking a small box from her pocket and momentarily unleashing a beast frightening enough to scare Christopher Walken and quickly putting it away.

"Well, so long as I'm the brother who gets to kill him first." Yakko said in reply.

"And you can kill him as many times as you want." Dot added in a cutesy voice, as if talking about letting him have extra cookies.

"How comforting." Buster quipped dryly, looking into the camera. He then cleared his throat, drawing Dot's attention back to him.

"So, you ready to go?" He asked, doing his best to pretend nothing had just happened.

"Ready, willing, and able." Dot replied.

With that, the warner and the rabbit stood aside as Dot stepped into the window frame, making her leap. She glided gracefully through the air, landing safely in the arms of Ralph.

"Nice catch." Dot said. "Is that a new deodorant you're wearing?" She asked conversationally. Meanwhile, Buster and Yakko continued to linger. Buster gestured for Yakko to go first. Yakko wordlessly declined, instead choosing to take a moment to reflect.

"Y'know, it's very strange." Yakko began. "I've been in the revenge business for so long... now that it's over... I don't know what to do with the rest of my life." He said.

"Have you ever considered piracy?" Buster asked. "You'd make a great Red Pirate Rogers." He added before climbing out the window. Yakko briefly paused to consider, then made his way out the window as well. Safely on the ground, they all mounted their horses, riding off to freedom.

As dawn arose, Dot and Buster knew they were safe. A wave of love swept over them. They reached for each other, embracing as they kissed.

Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one was just plain nasty. It was like watching two leaches attempting to swallow each other whole. This was P.D.A so extreme it should've been censored! And they just kept on going, and going, and going, and...

"And I think we'll be stopping right there." Scratchansniff said, closing the book. He hadn't read the last paragraph aloud, and certainly wasn't planing to. "Perhaps I stop by with a different book tomorrow, ja?" He added, preparing to leave the room.

"But we never finished this one." Wakko complained.

"Yes Wakko, I know." Scratchansniff began apologetically. "Perhaps we can do this if I find a copy that is not quite so... odd." He said. Wakko sighed.

"Ok..." Wakko resigned disappointedly.

"That's a good boy Wakko." Scratchansniff commended. "Now, go to sleep. And I come check on you later." He instructed. Wakko settled back under the covers as told. Scratchansniff checked to make sure he wasn't leaving anything, then turned and made his way towards the door. But before he could take his leave...

"Dr. Scratchansniff?" Wakko began. The good doctor turned to listen. "Can we name a character after me in the next story we read?" He asked. Scratchansniff smiled.

"As you wish." He replied. At that, he turned and made his exit, shutting off the light before closing the door.

The End

(A.N) As promised, the final chapter of the Warner Bride has been completed! And finally, I feel like a writer again! I guess you could I say I sort of lost my spark for a while there. My humblest apologies to those who had to wait around till I found it again. Hopefully the end result is to your liking.

My thanks to YakkingYakko, acosta perez jose ramiro, dth1971, TheBlueHeart2772, loonytooncrazy, Dagre, Zabbie Q, loonyluvergurl, Stephen DOG Milne, and nikki-kun05. Those who reviewed or listed this story in their favorites. Additional thanks to Zabbie Q for the idea to use Elmyra in the story, and acosta perez jose ramiro, who has reviewed every single chapter so far.

Lastly, it is my sincerest hope that this story, as well my other story, (Call Me Dottie And You Die) will in some way help to inspire future Dot and Buster stories.