It's not easy being handcuffed
It had been a couple of days, maybe, since Light had been handcuffed against his will to L, but he still wasn't used to having the same person next to him all day, everyday. It was rather sickening, to say the least. Well, his dad told him that he would eventually get used to it, and that seeing L all day everyday will eventually be as good as seeing the overly distracting logo of the television station while enjoying a rather captivating sitcom. Light wasn't sure of what to make of this odd and rather random simile created by his father. He just said, "Sure, dad, sure," and tried picking the lock of the handcuff with a long index fingernail.
"No use of trying to unlock the handcuff, Light," said L, who was alternating between reviewing a surveillance tape obtained from Yotsuba and eating a rather large number of Oreo cheesecake donuts. "I had Matsuda swallow the key."
He said this with such a flat affect and a serious face that Light and Mr. Yagami stared at him in disbelief.
"I am joking, of course," said L, tone and facial expression not changing. "Matsuda is much too unreliable. He would not succeed at swallowing the key."
"Yes, he would not," said Mr. Yagami. It would probably be necessary to say that Matsuda is within earshot of their conversation. The police officer-in-question gave a rather canine-sounding whimper before meekly going to a coffeepot in the corner, perhaps in atonement for his mistakes.
Light laughed a little. "You guys are much too hard on Matsuda," he said.
"Are we now?" asked L. "Even if we were nice to him, Matsuda would still be unreliable. It is fortunate that Amane, who is in need of a manager, is a crucial element to this investigation. If it weren't for her, I'm afraid that Matsuda would not have much use to us, save coffee making."
Matsuda gave that whine again, but nonetheless he poured a cup of coffee for L. "Please, Ryuzaki! I know I can be a bother sometimes, but I amtrying my best here," he said.
"You forgot my sugar." L took the coffee cup from him and pointed to a little pink jar next to the coffeepot.
Matsuda went, "Oh," ran to get around nine sugar cubes, and gave them to L. L then proceeded to dump each cube one by one in his coffee. Even while white spots of sugar granules dissociated slowly in his coffee, he took a sip. "I know you are trying your best, Matsuda. You are the one who makes the second best coffee here, after all."
"S-second best?"
"To Watari."
"Oh." Matsuda pouted for a while, until he realized L's point. "Oh! Thanks, Ryuzaki! That's a pretty big compliment, coming from you!" Beaming, he ran off again to the coffeepot to pour rations for his other superiors, such as Vice Chief Yagami, Aizawa, and Mogi.
Light stared at this little episode. He turned to L and said, "You're not very nice to people who work their asses off to make things easier for you."
"No. I guess not." L finished his coffee and placed the empty cup next to his keyboard. He continued working.
"What if the time comes that Matsuda will get fed up from these strikes to his self-esteem, and quits before the investigation is over?" It seems that Light was pretty bored at that time and decided to bother L some more with his righteous ramblings about treating one's subordinates more ethically.
"Then, I will get other people to fill in," answered L.
"From where? You know that the other police officers from the NPA are unwilling to take on this case. And it would be rather inconvenient to recruit police officers from other countries, since they have their own investigations independent from this one."
"Yeah…" L, eyes as wide as ever, stared up the ceiling in thought. "You are right, Light." As if wanting to leave it at that, he started rewinding the tape from Yotsuba again.
"…" The younger boy frowned at his response. "That's all you're going to say?" he asked.
"Yes," answered L. He paused, then said, "If it makes you feel better, you reminded me of an alternative plan, a trump card, if you will, that I have yet to use. I have a feeling that I am about to use that trump card, though." He pressed play and grabbed another donut from its box.
"Oh." Light was curious about this trump card of L's, but he knew that asking things like that will get him nowhere, so he took L's lead and watched things unfold.
Unfold, they did. L must have been some sort of psychic, or a really good guesser.
Suddenly, their motley group of investigators found themselves two organisms short: one was the NPA, who was swindled out of helping in the Kira case, and the other one was Aizawa, who quit because he had a family to support, and also because L annoyed the crap out of him.
"Wish we had more helping hands, eh, Ryuzaki?" said Light. He held in his hands a rather thick wad of paper filled with significant details.
Mr. Yagami agreed with his son, mentioning something about how it is not easy finding someone who would quit the police to join them. L also explained the risk of having a spy in their team and spilling details of the investigation to people who should not know them. "… but I really liked Aizawa here," Light heard L mutter, as they read through a rather large pile of papers on Yotsuba, courtesy of Mogi. He rolled his eyes. This was what he was talking about when he mentioned L's habit of mistreating his subordinates.
"Oh well," said L, tapping a special button on his keyboard. "Watari," he called. The old man on the other end graciously answered.
"Can you summon Aiber and Wedy?" asked L.
What strange names,thought Light. Foreigners. I'm betting they're from a big organization abroad, like Interpol. This is probably the trump card that L was talking about.
"I will see if I can contact them," Watari was saying before L disconnected.
It took the foreigners three days to come to their HQ. But when they did, it was quite an entrance.
Light couldn't believe it himself when he saw the two of them sitting so casually on the sofas in their main area, as if they appeared out of nowhere, akin to a Houdini or David Blaine act, but much, much cooler. Or maybe they were special bonus features on the sofa. In any case, he felt rather inferior that they managed to fool him. Wedy, especially, with her big sunglasses, really short skirt and black tights, which emphasized her nice legs. Any guy who would not notice her immediately would most likely be schizoid, or visually impaired.
Contrary to Light's hypothesis earlier, they were not members of Interpol, but rather the opposite: "real, and proper, criminals," L described. He was rather skeptical at first, but he had to admit, they were experts at what they did, they were needed in the investigation, and most of all, L trusted them enough to let them see his face.
So Light did the most logical thing to do, which was to accept them into the group. With open arms and one handcuffed wrist.
Anyway, the next scene that we'll observe from a comfortable seat in Light's head is this: midday, a few days later, still in that same building, with the protagonist lying down with his face on the sofa. Light was rather tired from all the investigating that the team did the previous night and the earlier hours of the day, and he wished nothing more than to fall into a coma. Preferably, one with an adequate amount of time allotted for REM sleep.
However, it seemed that this is not the case for today. The chains of the handcuff on his wrist jingled restlessly.
He grunted and looked up. "What is it, Ryuzaki?" he asked groggily. "I want to sleep."
L was perched on the coffee table in front of him. He was biting his thumb, as usual. "Get up. I'm going to exercise," he said. Judging from his tone, it seems that this was a rather normal thing for him to do.
"… ex-er-cise?" What punishment is this? Is this some odd attempt to make him admit to being the first Kira, again? Light felt weak. In protest, his head fell back on the cushion. "I'm not going anywhere. Just do some push-ups there, if you like."
The handcuff chain jingled again. This time, the noise was rather unbearable for someone with a growing migraine. "I don't do push-ups, Light. Come on. Wedy is training with me. She's waiting," he said.
Light groaned. "No, no, no…" he said repeatedly. L did not cease the jingling of the chain of the handcuff. Suffice to say, the two of them were making a sufficient amount of noise.
And this noise wasn't particularly pleasing to some other people in the room, namely, ex-Vice Chief Yagami. Grumbling, he stood up and yanked the chain between them, until it was taut enough to not make any noise anymore. However, this action swiftly and painfully sent the arms of the two boys upwards. (The effect was felt twofold for the rather exhausted Light on the couch.)
"Owww," they whined in unison.
"Light, stand up. You are a college student, and you are too old for this I don't want to wake up yet routine of yours," said Mr. Yagami in an authoritarian voice.
Light heaved a sigh and sat up.
"Ryuzaki. You are an adult. Please make your requests like an adult," said Mr. Yagami, in the same voice.
L nodded like a little boy being told to behave.
As soon as Light stood up from the sofa, Mr. Yagami took his place and positioned himself in the exact same way that Light did before.
"… your dad is a pretty crafty guy," said L in admiration as he watched the older man ease into deep sleep almost instantly.
"Yeah, yeah," grunted Light as he stretched his arms out in a sleep-deprived manner. "What's with you today, Ryuzaki? You don't normally exercise."
"Sure I do. You should have guessed since you experienced it from me. Capoeira, that is," he answered as he hopped off from the coffee table. "To maintain that level of skill and power, I have to train regularly."
"Ah. How come I've never seen you train before?"
L shrugged. "I suppose you never noticed. You can be self-centred sometimes, Light."
Light frowned at this remark.
L led them to a room somewhere upstairs. This room looked like a dojo, and judging by the way the mats are a bit damaged, it must be regularly used. There were two bare walls, a big window on one side, and a wall made of mirrors. From there, Light saw that Wedy was doing stretching exercises in some hidden corner of the room.
"Wow," said Light. To be more precise, he saw Wedy do these exercises in a rather shiny red cat-suit, minus the killer boots. Even in this activity, she wore her oversized sunglasses. Needless to say, the scene contributed to his return to wakefulness.
When she heard them walk nearer, Wedy turned around and gave a rather charming smile. "L!" she called out and waved.
"Hello, Wedy. Thank you for agreeing to train with us," said L in English. Light noticed that he had an English accent.
"It's always a pleasure to help out," she said. Her English was most definitely American, laced with a prominent Southern accent. "I hope you can pardon my attire today. It seems that I may not have time to change after this, as Watari already gave me a job to do at Yotsuba an hour from now."
"It's fine," said L. "Well, let's spar, then."
It was quite a sight to watch them train. As expected of a burglar, Wedy was quite flexible and rather good at dodging attacks. L, on the other hand, was unexpectedly aggressive during this match. One moment, he was kicking, and then, he was upside down, and then, he was flying. It was a rather confusing dance, but again it was quite a sight to see.
Too bad Light was not capable of passively watching it from the side. Thanks to the handcuffs, each dramatic movement that L makes sent waves to the chains, which in turn made Light get dragged around rather awkwardly. He had to resist getting in between them more than once.
"Ryuzaki, take it easy, you might hit me instead of Wedy!" he cried. In fairness, he was fully awake now. Exhausted and afraid, but fully awake.
"Then fight back," said L rather passively as he ducked from Wedy's foot.
"But I've never tried Capoeira before!"
"Any martial art you know will suit us fine," answered L. "Anyway, please move it. You're quite heavy, and you're restricting my movements significantly."
"Dammit!" Light dodged, and just very nearly avoided L's foot.
At that moment, L decided to do some gymnastics. Using no more than a few fingers to spring himself to the ground, he flipped towards Wedy not once, twice, but around five times. Quite impressive, to say the least.
Of course, this was not good for Light, who was not exempt from the laws of motion. (e.g., "Objects in motion stay in motion," and "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.") He was haplessly thrown towards a rather hazardous direction: the big windows on one side of the room.
Try as he might, he was accelerating constantly towards the windows, and his efforts at braking were not enough. He was pretty sure that he would hit the glass, break the windows, and fall down a number of stories before hitting the ground in an unappealing mass…
Well, at least Ryuzaki dies with me! That bastard… he thought as he closed in eyes, in preparation of the impact.
"Whoa! Easy there." Suddenly, a flash of red invaded his vision. He felt someone grab his shoulders, in an attempt to steady him.
Light gasped the next moment. It took him a while before he came back to his senses. He looked in front of him and saw a blonde head instead of the scenery outside. It would seem that Wedy blocked his path and caught him just before he was an inch away from the windows.
"You all right? That must have been a big scare for you. You turned pretty pale," said Wedy, still not letting go of Light's shoulders, as if she were afraid that he would collapse the next moment.
He nodded and muttered a 'Thank You' in English.
L walked towards them and stared at Light's face. "Yes. You still look quite anemic, Light," he said.
Turning to him, Light growled, again in English. "Of course I'll look 'quite anemic'! You almost killed me!" For added effect, he repeated 'you almost killed me!' in a rather rude Japanese sentence.
L blinked at him. While he had a blank expression on his face, it seemed that he was surprised at Light's reaction. His face remained expressionless when he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you lose your balance like that. I guess I overestimated your skills."
"My skills?" Light cried in exasperation. "What skills?! I told you that I've never done Capoeira before! Besides, the only other martial arts I know are Judo and Kendo, and I'm not exactly a black belt or anything! They're pretty useless in your fight!"
"Well, you punched me before. I figured that you probably knew Tae Kwon Do, or a similar martial art." L put a finger to his lower lip thoughtfully. "I guess Light learned it from streetfighting, or high school brawls."
The younger boy, needless to say, was rather annoyed at this point. It wasn't much that L undermined his fighting skills, but rather his flat-line way of saying those things irked him like no other. Just as the blood rushing to his head made enough noise, "Take it easy, partner," he heard Wedy say. She stepped in between him and L. He didn't notice that his hands were compressed into fists of rage, and that they were already raised threateningly.
"You don't want to hurt anyone with that," she added sternly, pointing at his fist.
Light closed his eyes in an attempt to cool off. Breathe in, breathe out. He did not know how susceptible he was to rage, but at that moment he felt that he was on the edge of thrashing around. "You're right, Wedy," he said after a few moments of relaxation exercise. "I'm sorry for losing my cool like that."
She smiled up at him. "Wow, that was pretty quick! You're quite the sportsman, Mr. Yagami," she said.
"Please call me Light. Mr. Yagami sounds too much like my dad," he said.
"Hm. You're right." Wedy gave a small laugh. "Well then, Light. For someone who doesn't know much about martial arts, you move quite gracefully. While being handcuffed to L, even. I'm quite impressed!"
Light shrugged rather bashfully. "I suppose the handcuffs forced me to move around like that," he explained. "I don't know if I can hold out any longer, though. I didn't get to warm up, and my arm feels like rubber now, since it was pulled in all directions during the fight."
All the while, L was shifting his gaze from speaker to speaker. He had a finger in his mouth the whole time.
"All that arm needs is a massage," said Wedy, "and maybe a painkiller, if you're really sensitive. I can give you both during our break in this session."
Light nodded, albeit rather uneasily. He was trying hard not to blush. "Ah, well. Thank you very much, Wedy. But—"
"His girlfriend can give them to him later, once she gets home," interrupted L.
Wedy gave L a mischievous smile and put her hands on her hips. "Hmm? Light here has a girlfriend already?" she asked playfully, looking at the boy in question. "Well, I'm not surprised. At that age, one gets to be quite restless and anxious for love."
"Hmph," said Light, crossing his arms, caressing his sore arm as he did so. He also blushed slightly at Wedy's statements. "So she and everyone else keep telling me. I don't remember asking her out on a date before, though. So I can't really say whether she's my girlfriend or not. It's complicated."
"Yes, Wedy, he has a girlfriend. Remember that Amane girl? They were both Kira before, too," said L. He was smiling rather maliciously at this point.
"Really? Oh my," said Wedy. "Two fighters of justice, killing righteously, in the name of love. It sounds cheesy, but romantic, nonetheless!"
Light grit his teeth. What the hell was L trying to pull this time? "No, Wedy, please don't listen to him. I'm not Kira, and Misa is not Kira, either. It was already disproven. He's just afraid of admitting to his mistakes, that's all." He said all of this in annoyance.
"Hmm." Wedy took off her sunglasses and started biting one end. Light saw that her eyes were a shocking electric blue. "No offense, Light, but when it comes to choosing between a thesis and an antithesis, I think I'll stick to whatever L will choose," she said cunningly. She looped her arm around L's arm. Light saw that L's eyes widened rather significantly.
Curious. He sighed. "So… you think I'm Kira? Is that it?" He felt very, very bad at that moment. Why won't these people just believe what he's saying? Why would he be Kira, without knowing that he's Kira? It was rather stupid, really! Maybe they just wanted to bully him. His sister did say once that he was 'bully-able,' since he was the Mr. Perfect type.
"I'm not saying that it's certain, Light. Just that it's highly possible." Wedy winked at him. "Don't worry. If L's deductions are correct, you are as good as innocent for the moment. You have nothing to worry about."
The accused uncrossed his arms. "Well… if you say so," he said quietly.
L watched this interaction again closely, taking mental notes of each character's movements. The touch of the arm, the size of the smiles, the suppressed blushing. A rather curious social study this was turning out to be.
Later, the boys cleaned themselves up, changed into fresh clothes, and went back to work. Well, at least L went back to work. Light was so exhausted from sleep deprivation and the exercise that, after a few failed attempts at reading files on Yotsuba, he fell asleep on the office chair.
He woke up to a high-pitched girl's voice chanting his name. "Light, Light, Light! Wake up, wake up!" He felt weight on his lap, and a pair of arms wrapping around his neck. "Your girlfriend is home!"
Neck strain. Arm pain. Leg pain. He did not need that voice. What he needed was a massage and a painkiller. He opened his eyes and looked at the person sitting on his lap. "Hello, Misa," he said. It was a groggy, albeit respectful, hello. He rubbed his eyes in an attempt to wake up.
"Oh, so that's her, Light? She's cute, but I didn't figure her as your type."
Light looked up the screen and saw an Old English letter 'w' against a white background. "Oh. It's Wedy," he said in English. He realized that L, who was a few feet beside him, was speaking to her face-to-face through his own monitor. He saw the image of a svelte woman in a red cat suit, perched on the roof of a skyscraper. She was probably communicating to L through 3G.
"Wedy? Oh, so that's the name of Emma Peel!" said Misa, hopping off Light's lap. "Hi! Misa-Misa is glad to meet you!" she said cheerfully, in Japanese.
"Hello there, dear. Nice to meet you. I'm sorry, but I can't chat as much as I'd like to," Wedy replied in Japanese.
"It's okay! Ryuzaki, pay attention to her now! Don't let her get caught!" Misa said. She turned to Light, kissed her fingers, and planted them on his cheek. "Light, I'll just dress down! I'll be right back!" With that, she trotted off upstairs to her room. The growing suspense of their investigation on Yotsuba didn't seem to hamper her hyper ways.
"Right. Then, Wedy, please do your best in infiltrating each of their individual offices," said L.
"You got it, darling," said Wedy. Right there, the connection was cut.
Light watched as a single white line replaced the image on the screen, and then turn completely black. It was then replaced by a computer screen. "Oh. Was that Yotsuba? Has she been there for long?" he asked.
"Yes. She's been there for a couple of hours now. She's waiting for Aiber, who is speaking to each person in the group, to give the go signal," explained L. He pressed a few buttons on his computer. It seemed that he was setting up for the incoming video feed.
"How'd she do it, making it to the top of the building like that without being seen? She's a pretty amazing lady," said Light.
L didn't answer, but instead attacked a strawberry parfait sitting innocently by his keyboard.
Here we find a moment of silence. Awkward? Maybe for the observers, but Light didn't seem to mind this. He only wished to go back to sleep, but it was quite embarrassing to be found dozing off by people who were out in the field, working. So he moved the mouse of his own computer and started isolating relevant bits of data from Yotsuba's sales charts.
It was a pretty boring job, but they had to prove the hypothesis that each non-crime-related death done by Kira was profitable to the company. All Light had to do was to shut down some complaining parts of his brain, and to proceed doing the work robotically.
He was 'in the zone,' so to speak, for a good amount of time before he snapped out of it, thanks to L who suddenly spoke. "Light. I hope you do not take this in offense, but I have a question not related to the case. I am just curious."
"Yeah, Ryuzaki? Fire away," said Light. He had a feeling that he will take it into offense, but it had been common for him to take L's comments and opinions about him in offense, so he just prepared himself with extra patience.
"Okay." L fingered some chocolate syrup from his parfait and put it in his mouth. "Do you have a crush on Wedy?" he asked.
Light paused. If he were in an anime, an animated vein already popped on his forehead. Remember, Light, patience, patience! He closed his eyes and answered, "Well, yeah. I guess so. Like I said before, I think she's an amazing woman."
"I see…" L's eyes were wide. They looked like two plates with pearl sago in the middle of each. "Even if you already have a girlfriend?"
"Yes," said Light.
"Don't you feel ashamed of yourself? Given your principles towards treating women's feelings?" asked L. "Isn't it against the rules of dating?"
What an annoying guy, Light thought. "It's just a crush. It's like having nice feelings towards an upperclassman, or even two upperclassmen. It is not likely that I'll act on it or anything."
L blinked. "Oh," was all he said in reply. With that, he twirled his office chair and went back to typing some codes in his computer.
Light raised a nicely-shaped eyebrow, as he studied L's behaviour. What's he up to? He thought to himself. "Why did you ask that, Ryuzaki?"
The detective didn't stop typing codes. "Curiosity."
"Please elaborate."
"You displayed rather out-of-the-ordinary behaviour a while ago, Light. I wished to find an explanation," he said.
Great. Now I can't go back to work, grumbled Light in his head as he found himself staring blankly at the papers. What is this? Is he trying to prove me Kira again? What does he have to gain from asking me that question? To quell his burning feelings, Light asked him that question. "What do you have to gain from asking me that question?"
"Nothing," said L.
"Nothing." Light repeated. "Are you sure? You rarely ask anything, if nothing would come out of it."
L fell silent. He looked up at the ceiling in thought, one index finger to his mouth. Light watched him think. For a while, it felt like he was staring at a still shot. After a few minutes of this, he answered: "If you must know, Light, I'm rather jealous."
Light frowned at him. "Jealous?" Curious. "Of what?"
L went back to typing his work. "Wedy never offered to give me a massage before. Or painkillers."
Oh.Light realized what L meant. He shook his head in disbelief.Wait. Come again?! "Ryuzaki," he called.
"Yes?"
"Are you… and Wedy…" he began.
L looked at him and tilted his head. "Yes?" he asked again.
"Well. I mean… did I get in the way of anything?"
L blinked. "Yes. Remember, I had a hard time training earlier because you were handcuffed to me," he answered plainly.
"No! Not that!" Light put his fingers to his temple. I forgot, this guy is socially inept. Maybe he doesn't know what I'm talking about here. "Oh… never mind," he said.
Back to work. The tapping of the keys resounded in the room again.
"I wonder what happened to Misa," L asked after a few moments. "She never came back."
"You're right," said Light. He reached out for a button, and in an instant they were shown Misa's room through the monitor. It seemed that the girl was so exhausted from today's shooting that she fell asleep while pulling off her long socks on the couch.
They stared at this odd, albeit peaceful image of the model / actress. "Wow," said Light.
L turned to him. "Do you remember now why and how you became her boyfriend?" he asked.
"… I really don't," said Light. There was a bit of resignation in his voice. "But what choice do I have? I'll stick with her as long as she wishes."
Silence.
"It's not easy being handcuffed," concluded L.
Light shook his head. "It took you long enough to reach to that conclusion," he said.
"Yes." L pressed a few buttons on his laptop. Wedy had installed the bugs successfully in Reiji Namikawa's office, and the detective prepared himself to observe. Light, wanting a break from isolating data, rolled his office chair nearer to L's.
They sat there like two best friends watching a DVD movie.
- end -
Author's note: Here I am again, explaining my actions. This was a rather random writing exercise for me. I wished to provide a different dimension to the characters in Death Note, and while this narration does not really have its own story, I think I did pretty well in portraying some characters. For instance, I especially enjoyed writing out The Chief's character.
For you fans of Light and L slash there, (and I know that there's quite a number of you out there), I am sorry, but I politely disagree from your preferences:D I think the closest that Light was to L was as a friend (to be more precise, a kumpare, in my local language. Haha.) I think Wedy is a pretty interesting character too, so I made her play a big part here.
I'm a bit tired from writing such a long one-shot, but I hoped you enjoyed it. Again, all comments—harsh, trivial, or otherwise—are always welcome:)