Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters and I don't wish to make a profit from this story.

Author's Note: This was written for the 31 Days Challenge on Livejournal. Also, I'm dedicating this fic to my boyfriend, Gullwhacker, since he's the one that got me into this series.

"Magic Touch"

"Mikuru, shut up and get into the box!"

"But...but it's dark in there!"

I couldn't help but sigh as I reached club room. A normal person would no doubt be concern or, more likely, disturb by the shouts of what sounded like a poor attempt at a kidnaping. Since I'm no longer alarmed by this, it's safe to say my life is no longer normal. A part of me wonders if I should be worried my this?

I opened the door and step in prepared for anything Haruhi was going to be throwing my way today. For those interested, today's menu of insanity consisted of Haruhi wearing a long black cape and top hat and holding a... wait was that a saw? Haruhi was currently forcing a quivering Asahina-san into an oversized cardboard box that was flipped onto it's side on the floor. Asahina-san squirmed and looked ready to burst into tears as Haruhi kept shoving.

It was then that Haruhi finally acknowledged my presence. "Kyon, help my get Mikuru into the box."

I glanced to the other two members with a slim hope for a rational explanation. Nagato was sitting in her usual corner, except she seemed to be engaged with a deck of playing cards. Koizumi was sitting at the table with his usual annoying grin and playing with a couple of silver rings that were linked to each other, with a pile of colourful scarves on the table. Upon glancing at him, Koizumi simply said "It appears that Suzumiya-san saw a magic show last night with her family."

It took exactly about five seconds to fully understand what was going though that scary little mind of hers. Watching the show, Haruhi must have been in awe of the magic tricks done and thus concluded that she should attempt to try them herself. I can easily imagine Haruhi giving Nagato-san the deck of cards to perform card tricks and Koizumi the rings to figure out how to unlock them.

However, it only took me half of a second to realize what Haruhi was aspiring to accomplish with Mikuru, the box, and the saw. Quickly, I raced over and grabbed Haruhi's wrist just as she had gotten Asahina-san to step her right foot into the box of death.

"You're not going to saw Asahina-san in half," I declared.

Haruhi snatched her wrist back. "What's wrong with you? Mikuru's my lovely assistant. If I can't practice on her, who can I practice on?"

"You're not practicing on her," I repeated with a growl. While I don't believe Haruhi would try to hurt Asahina-san on purpose, I refused to take any chances.

Haruhi's lips were set in a firm line, but I continue my glare, then she let go of Asahina-san. "Fine I'll give up this trick, but I'm still using her for practice."

That was fine with me, just as line as any future tricks didn't involve painfully sharp objects. I offered my hand to help Asahina-san get out of the box, while Haruhi took off her top hat and placed it on the counter.

"So, you're on a magic kick now are you?" I asked, although it was really pointless since I already knew her answer.

"What's wrong with that? Being a magician is awesome." She sat down at the table and began tying the ends of scarves together. "A magician can make a person disappear and reappear out of nowhere, make them float in midair, pull rabbits out of hats." Haruhi grinned at me with her eyes sparkling dangerous energetic glint of hers. "Magic is just as exciting as finding espers, time travelers or aliens. The world would be much more interesting if magic existed."

As she said those words, I caught a quick movement out of the corner of my eye. The hat that Haruhi placed on the counter had taken a sudden hop. For a split second as it jumped, I was certain I saw four white paws. I felt a knot grow in the pit of my stomach, because I was positive that the hat was empty before. Haruhi was not the type of person to put an actual live animal in her hat and then wear it. Even she has her limits...most of the time. The hat halted in it's movement. I felt the knot grow twice in size as I saw two long white ears stick out from beneath the brim.

Thankfully, Haruhi had her back to it and was too focus on tying a purple and green scarf together to take notice. I exchanged a discreet glance to the others. Nagato stared at the hat silently. Asahina-san nearly dropped the tea kettle as she was biting her lower lip nervously. Koizumi kept his grin, but his fingers were drumming the table.

I looked back to Haruhi who still didn't notice the hoping hat behind her. Immediately, I stuffed my hands into my pockets and said "Haruhi you do realize that those tricks aren't magic. It's just smoke and mirrors, meaning they're not real."

Haruhi's eyes narrowed. "Of course I do, what kind of an idiot do you think I am?"

The hoping hat stopped and the two white ears slipped back out of sight. To be safe, I quietly went to the counter and peeked under the hat. To the world's relief, it was empty. I silently gave a sigh of relief at our narrow escape.

"Kyon, quit playing with the hat and help me tie these scarves!"

I obeyed her highness' command and took a seat. Well, the world is safe for the afternoon. Can I have my tea now, please?