Nigma and the kid

By Trick Steven

Edward Nigma, also infamously known as The Riddler, had just been released from Arkham Asylum on account of good-behavior. It helped that he was also declared "mentally sound" by Arkham's doctors, although Edward had to admit that it was hard at first to convince them otherwise. Of course Edward hadn't gone straight from his old life of crime and soon he had already hired some henchmen and found a suitable place at an abandon toy factory to be his hideout. He was however, still figuring out his master plan on how to defeat Batman once and for all (and how to get large quantities of cash.) The plan for today had to wait because it was 7:00 and that was the time that Edward got up, got dressed, and did his daily routine of solving crossword puzzles.

Edward woke up before the buzzer rung on his digital alarm clock. He got up, stretched out his arms, and yawned before he went to go take a shower. After his shower and with a towel wrapped around his waist, he went to his closet to choose his outfit for the day. His eyes imminently wondered to his green jacket that he wore when he was in his Riddler persona but he knew that it was too flashy for where he was going today and would only attract unwanted attention. Instead, he chose his kaki-colored slacks, a plain white T-shirt, and his familiar red suspenders. He got dressed and grabbed his puzzle book that had about 1000 different crossword puzzles in it. Edward thought that the crossword puzzles in the Gotham Times were too easy. He browsed in a local bookstore and found much to his delight a crossword puzzle book that was challenging enough for him to spend some time on. With his crossword puzzle book in one hand, Edward stepped outside of his apartment door and locked it behind him. He then walked on Gotham's busy sidewalks to a café named "Tybalt's". Edward liked the café because it was one of the few cafés that weren't overshadowed by Gotham's tall skyscrapers. Its roof was made of glass and Edward could see a blue sky with a few white puffy clouds floating above, a rare sight in the mostly smog ridden city. Edward stood in line, which didn't last very long and ordered his coffee. After a few short minutes he picked up his coffee and sat down at a table. He was surprised that not a single person recognized him in the crowded cafe. After all, mug shots of his face appeared every time he escaped Arkham. He shrugged and thought the reason might be because he wasn't in costume. He took a sip of his coffee and opened his puzzle book to a bookmarked page. He grabbed his No.2 pencil from his pocket and began to read the first question. Before he could read the entire question however, he saw some movement in the corner of his eye. He turned around to face whatever was distracting him from his puzzle. The cause of the distraction was a little boy, no more then four. He was fidgeting in his seat, next to his father who was talking quite loudly into his cell-phone. The little boy was staring at Edward intently with his big round brown eyes and Edward let out a sigh of annoyance. He never liked small children. They were loud, obnoxious, disease-ridden, and usually had a trail of snot running down from their noses. They also couldn't understand the complexity and the sheer joy of solving a puzzle, possibly because their pea-sized brains couldn't solve a puzzle in the first place. Edward muttered something about how he wasn't that stupid when he was a kid under his breath and looked back down at his crossword puzzle. He finished reading the sentence and was on the verge of solving it, when he felt a tap on his back. He quickly turned around to face the little boy.

The little boy stared at him and uttered a single word, "Ba?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Edward, although he doubted that he would get an intelligent answer.

The child just smiled a smile that was missing a few teeth. He then giggled and ran off. Edward just shook his head in dismay. This is exactly what he meant. Little children made no sense. He glanced to where the kid was at. The kid had picked a spoon and was now whacking his father's head with it.

"Ba! Ba! Bam!" shouted the child, all the while smiling.

His father frowned and hung up his cell-phone. He was about to pick up his son up, but the boy was too nimble and quickly ran away from his grasp. Edward couldn't help but smile at the boy's antics. The boy was now doing a victory dance, stomping his feet and waving his arms demonstrating the fine motor skills of a toddler. Edward, despite his prejudices against small children, laughed. The boy looked up when he heard Edward's laugh and gave out a squeal of joy. He came over to Edward's table and picked up a pen from the floor. He climbed up on a chair next to him and began to draw on the table.

'He's quite a little criminal isn't he?' Thought Edward and he inwardly smiled.

The picture was now beginning to take shape.

To Edward, it looked like a cat with a watermelon for a head, but the boy pointed to it and said, "Doggart! My Doggy-dog."

Edward didn't know how to respond to that statement so he said, "Um that's a nice dog."

The kid smiled, jumped down from his chair and then unexpectedly hugged Edward's legs. Edward had no idea how to get the kid off of him so he poked the kid on the shoulder. That only made the kid hug tighter. Luckily, the boy's father was there to persuade his son to stop hugging him.

"Lucas, stop hugging the man now." said the boy's father sternly.

Lucas stopped hugging Edward and looked oddly enough, not disappointed but cheerful.

"I'm terribly sorry." apologized the father. "He has a habit of doing that."

"Its alright." said Edward awkwardly.

"Say, do I know you from some where?" asked the man, squinting his eyes so he could see Edward better.

"I don't think you do." replied Edward.

The man leaned forward to peer into Edward's face and then his eyes went wide with fright.

"You're the Riddler aren't you?" stated the man.

"The one and only." answered Edward, grinning.

The man said nothing in reply, although he looked at Edward like he was going to pull out a gun at any moment.

'Does it look like I'm going to pull a gun out of my pants and kill you?' thought Edward sarcastically.

"Come on Lucas, let's go." whispered the man to his son.

His son looked saddened to leave his new friend so soon but he held his father's hand and they quickly walked away. The boy waved bye to Edward and Edward waved back.

'Kids could possibly be the biggest enigma of all.' Edward thought deeply.

He then looked down at his unfinished crossword puzzle and frowned.

'Or they could possibly be the most distracting and infuriating creatures on the face of the earth.'


Author's Notes: This story was in fact, based on a true event that happened to me. I thought on how Eddy would react to a kid disturbing his down time and thus, this story was born.