A/N :A very HAPPY HALLOWEEN to ALL! I am posting this story a day early because I will be TRICK-OR-TREATING tomorrow! Yes! I still trick-or-treat! I mean, it's FREE CANDY for gosh sake's people! Who wouldn't go? I say you're never too old to go trick-or-treating...as long as you have someone younger to go with! just kidding : ) It's gonna be terror-iffic!

I just wrote a really lame pun! I'm ending each line with a exclamation! mark! I'm running out of ideas for the intro! I might as well start the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any characters from it, nor do I own a quote and idea from "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" and I don't own any of the mentioned candy (But it would be totally awesome if I did...), Simpsons, One Piece, Harry Potter, Wizard of Oz, or anything else I might have made a reference to. And Stick Figures on Crack, a very funny video which the Orochimaru part is based off of.

General Notes:
No anime characters (including animals) were harmed in the making of this story.
I'm calling the Leader guy of the Akatsuki 'Leader' because I don't know his real name and I don't intend on knowing his real name until I read it in the manga or see it in the anime, so NO SPOILERS ON THE COMMENTS! Thank you in advance.
And a warning to all Itachi fans...he is made fun of a lot. So don't hate me for it! ; )

Revised 2 October 2008

An Akatsuki Halloween

It was a dark and spooky night. Fanfiction authors were using generic beginning sentences in their stories, and the Akatsuki were gathering for a very important meeting. The day was October the thirty-first...

"OK, now you all know why you are here today..." said the Leader of the Akatsuki.

"I DON'T," muttered a disgruntled Itachi.

He continued as if he had not heard him "...We are here today because we are all out of candy. So we need to break into some homes and steal some."

"Will there be destruction and deadly Jutsu, un?" asked Deidara.

"Yes."

"Suh-WEET!" replied Deidara.

"I don't LIKE candy" grumbled Zetsu. "Can't I eat someone?"

"NO! This is strictly candy-stealing day. Cannibalism day was last month you idiot. As if anyone else in this group celebrates that anyway..." said Leader, casting a glare around the rest of the members.

"Tobi LOVES candy!" exclaimed a very happy Tobi. "Candy, candy, candy!"

Deidara, VERY easily angered by the swirly-masked ninja, attempted to punch Tobi in the face but was stopped by Kisame, who had just arrived and was holding a bag filled with something.

"Yo, save it for da candy-stealin', " he said.

Deidara cooled down, but immediately noticed something different about Kisame.

"Why are you talking like that, and what the HELL are you wearing, un?!"

"Oh this, yo?" said Kisame. He had on a jersey, a giant Afro wig, and costume jewelry bling around his neck and wrists. "I'm a gangsta. And I'm talkin' gangsta. You got a problem wit dat?" he said, pulling out his sword 'Sharkskin'.

"N-Nope. Nothing at all, un..." replied a frightened Deidara.

"Whatever. I was going to stop talking gangster anyway. I tried to ask for directions to where we were meeting and the old lady I asked just gave me her purse and ran away."

"Ah, Kisame, you have the disguises. Excellent" said Leader, steepling his hands like The Simpsons' Mr. Burns.

"Yep. There's enough for everyone." Kisame pulled out a Spider-man costume, a clown costume, teddy bear costume, and a pirate outfit.

"Ooooooo! Tobi wants to be the clown!" said Tobi. Kisame handed him the costume, which included a red nose, big shoes, one-piece multicolored polka-dot outfit (with pompoms at the ends of the sleeves), a rainbow wig, and face paint. Tobi pulled a hand mirror out of his cloak and began applying face paint onto his mask.

"I'll be whatever that red disguise is," said Leader, pointing to the Spider-man outfit.

Zetsu had made his decision. "I'll be the pi-"

"I'll be the pirate, un," Deidara said quickly, cutting him off.

"NO! I'M GOING TO BE THE PIRATE! THERE IS NO WAYI'M BEING A TEDDY BEAR!" screamed Zetsu.

"Zetsu" said Kisame, "The teddy bear costume, it's in your size, because I figured...what with your big plant-like head and all..."

"Dammit," muttered Zetsu and grudgingly put on the teddy bear disguise.

"Hey, what about me?" demanded Itachi.

"Oh... guess I forgot..." said Kisame.

"I know! You can go as a moron, Itachi." said Zetsu, who had finished putting on his disguise.

The Akatsuki laughed, except Itachi who said "I don't get it," causing Deidara to drop to the ground laughing and crying, and Tobi to wet his pants.

"Seriously! If I go wearing the cloak no one'll recognize me, I don't have to go as a moron or whatever you guys said..."

"Itachi, you do know that if you go wearing that then you won't get any good candy," said Deidara, getting up from the ground and wiping away tears, "You'll scare away any possible people to take candy from. That cloak is ugly, un."

"And lame," said Leader.

"And you're wearing purple NAILPOLISH," added Zetsu.

There was a short pause.

"Hey...WAIT A SECOND!" cried Itachi, comprehension dawning on his face. "YOU GUYS WEAR THE EXACT SAME THING!"

"Yes, but now you're the only one wearing it. I have always wanted to make fun of the cloak!" smirked Leader.

So, clad in ridiculous but effective disguises (except Itachi) the Akatsuki wandered the nearby neighborhood, searching for someone to steal from.
They went up to the first house and rung the doorbell. A girl with pink hair and dressed as a tree (yes, that's not a typo, a tree) opened the door.

"Give us candy!" demanded Leader.

"OK. What's the magic word?" said the girl.

"Uhhh..." said the Akatsuki stupidly.

"Mangekyo Sharingan?" said Itachi, his eyes going into a super-freaky sharingan state. Deidara accidentally turned his head when Itachi did this, causing the girl to be unharmed but causing Deidara to faint.

"Umm...give us candy or you die?" said Zetsu

"OH! TOBI KNOWS!" cried Tobi, jumping up and down. "PLEASE!"

The girl nodded and put candy in each of their bags.

They ran onto the sidewalk and looked at their candy.

"I got a Kit Kat!" said Zetsu.

"I got Swedish Fish!" said Kisame.

"Tobi got a Tootsie Pop!"

"I got a Starburst!" said Deidara.

"I got Swiss chocolate!" said the Leader.

"I got a rock..." said Itachi dully.

"Well, that house was easy," said Leader. "But don't let your guard down. There could be a dozen Konoha Black Ops platoons in the next house."

So, they went to the next house... and, lo and behold, there was NOT a dozen Black Ops platoons. Instead, Orochimaru, who was dressed up as Lord Voldemort, opened the door. Behind him was Kabuto, who appeared to be dressed as Severus Snape and the Sound Four, dressed in Death Eater costumes.

Orochimaru pulled out a scroll to use a jutsu, but Leader was faster.

"Ok, put the scroll down, you andyour minions," said Leader "...put your hands up in the air, back away...and gimme a pack of Bubblicious."

"And some Skittles" added Tobi.

"Yes, and some Skittles." said Leader.

So Orochimaru grudgingly gave them the candy.

They went up to the third house and banged on the door. A man with spiky white hair who was dressed like the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz opened the door.

"Give us candy or else!" demanded the Leader.

"Sorry, I just ran out of candy," said the man.

The Akatsuki pulled out some shuriken and kunai.

"Er...but that doesn't mean I don't have anything to give you! Um...here! Take these copies of Icha Icha Paradise!" he quickly tossed the books to them. "Please don't hurt me!" he said feebly, then shut the door.

"Damn it. No candy. All he gave us were stupid books." said Leader.

"Yeah...stupid books, un..." said Deidara absentmindedly, reading the book.

As they walked toward the next house, they passed by a boy wearing a straw hat. When he saw Deidara, he walked up to him and said "Hey! You're a pirate aren't you? Wanna join my pirate crew?"

"GET BACK TO YOUR OWN ANIME, un!" yelled Deidara, throwing Luffy all the way back to his own world.

They came to the fourth house and a blond boy dressed in a large, spiral-shaped costume was waiting on the porch. When they got closer, they saw that there were a few chunks missing from it.

"And what the hell are you supposed to be?" asked Itachi snottily.

"I'm a fishcake in Ramen! And there's holes in the costume because I was eating it!"

"So it's a real fishcake?"

"Nope. It's just cardboard, staples and acrylic paint. I got so hungry waiting out here, and I would have eaten the stuff I'm handing out but then people might try to blow up my house if I don't have any..."

The Akatsuki just stared at him. "..."

"So, anyway, here's your treat!" said the Ramen boy. He handed them...bowls of hot Ramen.

"WHAT? NO CANDY?" yelled Itachi. His sudden outburst caused the bowl of Ramen...the bowls of HOT Ramen...to fall onto himself, giving him second-degree burns. Of course, he is a ninja, so he healed rapidly, but the other Akatsuki laughed almost gleefully at his stupidity.

They continued on down the street, stopping at least a dozen other houses which included a black-haired boy wearing a green gymnast's outfit who was handing out sake. He was also drunk. He kept wanting to fight them, which was very annoying, so Itachi just Mangekyo Sharingan-ed him. Then Zetsu's - who only just after drinking the sake found out he had a low tolerance for alcohol, too- Venus Flytrap thing on his head tried to eat Itachi. Other houses they went to included a young-looking blond woman dressed as a slug handing out sugar-free candy; an old white-haired guy dressed as a frog; a girl with long blond hair dressed as a pig; a rather fat boy dressed as a butterfly who was handing out bags of BBQ chips; and a strange-looking boy with maroon/reddish hair, encircled in sand, who attacked them with the sand the second the Akatsuki set foot in the yard. They skipped that house.

"You know, this has been really easy, the whole candy-stealing thing," said Leader. "It's as if this is the day that people just give out candy for free..."

They all looked at each other, then said "Nah!" and "Yeah, that's ridiculous!"

They went up to the last house on the street, and the person outside, a teenage boy with brown hair up in a spiky ponytail, was asleep. Next to him was a HUGE bowl of candy. (Bigger than Itachi's ego.)

"Haha. This is it- the big payday! It'll be as easy as taking candy from a sleeping teenage boy with brown hair tied up in a ponytail." said Leader.

"But boss, that's what we're do-"

"Of course, it doesn't mean we can't have a little mayhem. Itachi, are the scrolls ready?"

"I guess so," Itachi mumbled, taking some scrolls out of his cloak.

"Good. Initiate Prank Attack!"

"The art of Shaving Cream Graffitti!" yelled Kisame, taking out two cans of Shaving cream and then, in an instant, the front of the house had the Kanji for "Akatsuki" on it.

"Now! Zetsu!" called Leader.

"Toilet Paper Hell!" said Zetsu, and half a dozen rolls of toilet paper appeared out of nowhere then wrapped themselves on the trees and bushes in the yard.

Lastly, Deidara."Egg Bomb no Jutsu, un!" he yelled and the eggs in the egg carton he was holding began to smoke. He chucked one, two, three...twelve eggs in total that exploded on impact on the house and on the boy, leaving a egg yolks splattered everywhere.

"Now go Itachi! Get that candy!" yelled Leader. Itachi ran up to the house and grabbed the huge jar of candy- he almost couldn't pick it up, that's how heavy it was.

As he leaped off the steps, the boy finally woke up. He looked around at the mess and at the disguise-less candy thief, then said "How troublesome" and fell back to sleep.

The Akatsuki were huddled under a street lamp, looking at their booty.

"Rouge-nin, I think we hit the mother load." said Leader.

They each took out something from the bowl.

"I got the world's biggest jawbreaker!" said Zetsu.

"I got a 50-pound bar of chocolate!" said Kisame.

"I got a peppermint patty the size of a table!" said Deidara.

"I got a human-sized lollipop!" said Tobi, smiling.

"I got a German Sports Car!" said the Leader, revving the engine and speeding away, crying "So long, suckers!", leaving a cloud of dust and exhaust in his wake.

As Itachi reached into the bowl to get the last item, there was an exploding sound and a lot of smoke. The rest of the Akatsuki (minus the leader) heard some punching sounds and hurried footsteps. As the smoke cleared, they saw Itachi, who was lying on the ground.

"Looks like Itachi found the anti-stealing trap..." whispered Deidara to Tobi.

"I got tarred, feathered, and beat up..." said Itachi, who was covered in white chicken feathers with several goose-egg lumps on his head.

"We found the meaning of Halloween!" said Tobi randomly.

"What the Freak?! What meaning? All we did was go around threatening people for candy and insulting Itachi. There was no meaning!" cried Deidara.

"You're right," sighed Tobi. "I guess I've just been watching too many Charlie Brown Holiday Specials."

"Hey, where'sssss the Leader?" said the drunk Zetsu in a slurred voice. "He'sssss sssssssupposssed to be my dessssssignated driver."

"Hey, guys," said the Leader, walking up to them.

"Dude, what happened to your car?" asked Kisame.

"First, never call me dude. Second, never drive when you're hyped up on Halloween candy. Too much sugar."

"At least you're alright," said Kisame.

"Welllll..." Leader said hesitantly, "I think I hit a dog."

Meanwhile, down the street...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! AKAMARUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!" cried a boy dressed as a dalmation.

Back with the Akatsuki...

"But it's still a good thing we got a lot of candy," said Leader.

"So that's the meaning of Halloween, then?" said Itachi, still on the ground. "getting candy?"

"Pretty muchhh" said the still-drunk Zetsu.

"Remember, always go candy snatching- Tobi means trick-or-treating - with a friend"

"And wear reflective tape so you don't get hit by cars!" said Leader.

Back down the street...

"WHAT THE CRAP? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT MOM!" yelled the dalmation boy.

Akatsuki again...

"And don't forget the most important rule of all," said Kisame.

"It'ssss..." said Zetsu

"Have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN everyone!" yelled the Akatsuki cheerfully.

"I don't see what's so freakin' happy about it!" said a still chicken-feathered Itachi.

THE END!!