Out of the Ashes, Helga will rebuild her world and fight the feelings of temptation she thought she buried years ago.

I am a scrap of paper, blowing in the wind/ I am a the one in the back ground/ And I hold all the love that is forever under my skin- Helga G. Pataki

I let him go. I honestly let Arnold go and I decided that I would be his friend instead. I had kissed him on the rooftop and then pretended that it was all because of the heat of the moment. Somehow, we both had known better. Our entire short lives had been building to the moment, I knew it and he knew it. I was destined for that one kiss. That one life changing kiss and destiny hadn't denied me.

But it was the wrong time, and the right place.

I never quite forgotten the moment our lips came into contact and the way he'd reacted. How could I forget the way he'd starred at me shocked? The way his eyes had pleaded for an explanation but I hadn't actually had one and then Gerald's tall haired ass had be-bopped into the picture and the moment became a shadow of itself.

I tell myself that I've moved on. I tell myself that Arnold is just my friend. I'm no longer the bitch I use to be. I allow myself to never feel those feelings for him again.

I'll always remember every moment that I've ever spent with him, even if he didn't know it. But I'll never allow myself to slip into that place again, the place where I was totally and completely in love with Arnold.

Even though I kept telling myself that fate was keeping us apart, I figured there was a reason for this. I figured that I wasn't the one for him and vice versa. My fears were confirmed in eighth grade when Arnold began to date Lila and slowly I slipped into a new world. It was the world of ballet, and dance and movement.

I don't even know how it happened. I was never into dance to begin with but once I found out that Arnold was dating her, I had started to walk and I didn't stop until I came upon Madam Madeline's School of Dance and that's where I found a lot of girls from P.S. 118 danced. Rhonda, Nadine and even Phoebe were inside and already ages ahead of me until I really gave my heart and began to develop the untapped skill that I soon discovered that I had.

"Helga," Madam Madeline's French accent wafted over me months after I had joined. "You are a natural. This is a gift only few are blessed with."

I had smiled and continued and after wards me and the other girls had started to discuss things and that was when I finally began to feel included in things. That is when I found myself and it was through dance and not so much poetry that I discovered that I could push Arnold and my feelings for him aside.

All was well in my world until the day my family was in a car accident.

It was one of those rare, rare days that Big Bob decided he wanted to acknowledge his family. He'd gotten me and mom and we'd gotten in the car to go for a Sunday drive. I was in the back seat pouting, hating him for forcing this on me at that moment. And suddenly a storm came out of nowhere but we continued to drive and in the front seat Bob and Miriam wore holding hands. They laughed at some stupid joke and both turned their gaze onto me but me I was starring ahead at the lights shining directly in front of us and that's when we crashed.

Both of my parents died and it was my fault. If I had just thrown a fit that day we would have stayed in and they'd still be alive. I wouldn't be living with Olga who was forced to give up her dreams of teaching the Inuit children in the Arctic regions of the world. But she did give up her dream all so she could raise me.

After the funeral, we had to sell the house but Olga decided that she was going to take over Big Bob's Beeper Emporium. She decided that she would take the business and shape it into one that dad would have been proud of. Want to take a guess where I sometimes work after school?

However, once we sold the house we had to take up residence somewhere and that somewhere had been Arnold's boarding house. I had always managed to avoid being to close but how would I avoid it now? How would I manage to keep all my feelings from overpowering me especially when they were feelings that are no longer suppose to exist?

Author's Note: I wanted to give it a shot and really take the time to sit down and write a story about two of my favorite characters. Sigh. I wish Hey Arnold would return but you never know what can happen when you wish!