Hazzard's Pulling Charm

Hello there,

So this is the first instalment in what I hope to be many popular chapters. Also this is my first published fan fiction story, so this is a very exiting experience for me!

Though Dukes of Hazzard is in fact a TV show from the 70's and 80's, I haven't seen much of the series, so I decided to base my story on the new Dukes of Hazzard. I say this because I'm basing my Bo on the Sean William Scott hotness rather than the earlier years of John Schneider hotness.

Also my character being Australian is no coincidence, since I'm writing from Down Under. I have an obsession with all my stories, my character have to be related to me or people who know me somehow. Like they say, write what you know.

So that's all from me, not that you read all of it anyway, but I hope you enjoy the story…

Disclaimer: Shizzali does not own any of the storylines, names or events depicted in this fictional story. Courtesy of CBS and Village Roadshow Pictures

~You're Stuck Here Now~

It had been a long time since Jackie had been in the small, quaint town of Hazzard, Georgia, though it hadn't changed much. Everything was exactly as she remembered; it was as if time had simply stopped. The trees didn't seem to grow, the grass didn't seem to move. It was true, after all, that things moved just a little bit slower in Hazzard. Jackie scanned the landscape and breathed in, taking in the smell of cow dung, mingled with spring flowers. She screwed up her nose, an interesting concoction. Jackie turned around and contemplated the house there. It was white, with blue shutters (though most of the paint was peeling) and a large blue door. A porch surrounded the perimeter of the house, a hammock and love seat by the front.

The trip was not voluntary. Jackie had been quite happy in her town house in Melbourne, Australia, but now she had been dragged back to the Peach State involuntarily. Though she would have been happy to have been hauled to Atlanta, at least there was movement there, but no, Fate was no friend of Jackie's.

The reason for this sudden change in Jackie's life was for the fact that her grandfather had passed away only two weeks ago. To be honest, Jackie had not been close with Old Harold, but his farm of Hazzard had been passed down generations to her. Funny how life plays games on one like that, isn't it? Jackie definitely thought so, for she had laughed out loud herself when she got the letter from one Pauline Oglethorpe, stating that her grandfather had died, and that Jackie was now responsible for the Montgomery Farm. Later the legal papers arrived and she knew that this was not all a sick joke, but totally legitimate. Harold had been her mother's father, but her parents had divorced when Jackie's mother was ten, so from then on Diane lived with her mother, Charlene, in Australia. Jackie was the only child of Diane, so the lineage ended at her.

As she had cruised through the town earlier, it seemed very lazy and inanimate. Jackie couldn't understand the smiles of the people she peered at through her driver's side window, how could they be happy here? A town where the only entertainment was shooting cans and spitting tobacco. Here people seemed to have no comprehension of the outside world so very different from their own. Jackie was surprised at the will of people to stay, though she guessed the minuscule population was due to the people with half a mind to leave Hicksville.

So here she was, all disgruntled 5'6 of her, at the "beautiful" land of Hazzard County. Jackie approached the rickety house with apprehension. Not only was she reluctant to finally embrace this new reality, but she was 99% sure that the house would crumple to the ground as soon as she took one step on the porch. Placing one foot on the first step did not help, since it gave a discouraging groan. The next step did the same. Jackie sighed, she had a lot of work to do. Upon entering the house a wave of memories and emotions swept over her like a summer breeze. Flickers of scenes played out in front of her, like a static television show. Somehow she imagined her mother as a young child, growing up on the land. Jackie held back tears, her mother was not a memory that she wanted to ponder on.

Jackie hauled her suitcases out of the cab she had gotten from Atlanta and pulled them through the wide doorway. A quick tour of the bottom storey of the house revealed that her grandfather had ceased care for the house in his later years. A make-shift bed had been made in what used to be the study. Surrounding most of the four small walls were pictures of an old orange charger. Many articles accompanying these entitled "The General wins another one" and "Drive for Five" also decked the walls. Jackie frowned, there was a whole second story for a bedroom. One thing was apparent though, the house definitely needed a woman's touch. An icy wind came through the window in the staircase. Jackie shivered, but proceeded up the stairs to the second story as gasped.

The entire second story was covered in thick layers of dust and wispy spider webs. Peering into each room carefully, Jackie noticed the décor was much the same. Cracked yellow tiles framed the bathroom walls, many of them smashed in pieces on the tiled floor. Further down the hall she noticed a bedroom. It was quite large, but musty, with close air and little light. A metal framed bed held nothing but a thin mattress, clearly at the end of its life, the stuffing and springs jutting out in different places. A dark polished wardrobe stood looming there, reminding her of a large and old tree. Jackie shivered again and made her way to the end of the hall, which revealed a drawing room and another bedroom. Pushing the door ajar with a creak, she stood back and surveyed the second room at a distance. From what she gathered, it had been a child's, with peeling pink pinstriped wallpaper and a small single bed with a canopy, like a princess's out of a fairy tale.

This must have been Diane's room.

Jackie was quickly pulled from her nostalgia by a large spider hanging from the door frame. Jackie yelled in disgust and fright as it scuttled away. Shuddering, Jackie turned out of the grimy bedroom and bounded down the stairs to a spider free zone.

"Hello? Is everythin' alright?" A female voice sounded from the front door. Jackie turned to the front door.

In the door frame stood a tall, well rounded woman holding a picnic basket. She looked much older than Jackie, maybe in her fifties, but her eyes had a look of much younger an age. She wore the usual "middle-of-nowhere" attire, chequered flanny, Levis jeans and cowboy boots.

"Uh, Yes. Sorry. I don't think I know you, I'm…" Jackie made her way to the door.

"Jackie, Yes of course. I'm Pauline, you got a letter from me?" The older woman smiled, Jackie instantly warming to her.

"Oh, that was you? Pleased to meet you then!" Jackie extended her hand out to the kind soul on the porch. Pauline took it and shook violently.

I'll have to get used to that.

"Well now, it sure does need some work, "she said peering passed Jackie into the cloudy innards of the house. Pauline paused, "You mind if I come in, I brought some housewarming presents,"

"Sure, anyone bearing gifts is welcome anytime," Jackie smiled and shifted so Pauline could enter. The woman made her way into the kitchen, obviously a friend of Harold's.

"Oh my lord, would get a whiff of that! You know if you ever need any help with this place, I mean anything, feel free to holler, I got nothing better to do," Jackie found Pauline in the kitchen unpacking a picnic basket.

"I suppose you found the secret of the second floor, Harold was fragile, but sharper than a cat on cocaine," Jackie snorted, she was never going to get used to the crazy southern similes,

"His Arthritis was too much as he got older, I have no idea how he got the farm going so long, he did have farm hands mind," Pauline chatted merrily, making easy conversation. But Jackie wasn't really listening. Her mouth watered as a roasted chicken, two apple pies and a pasta salad were laid out on the kitchen bench in front of Pauline. Jackie picked them up and made towards the fridge.

"Oh I wouldn't do that if I were you," Pauline called over her shoulder, but it was too late, Jackie had already opened the fridge door. Inside were many items unrecognisable to the naked eye. Cans of beer and milk bottles, resembling ones made in the seventies, lined the shelves. A few mouldy pieces of fruit were stashed in the bottom draw and some holey cheese (though Jackie didn't know whether it was holey to start with) lay on a plate covered in plastic. Jackie was sure many new bacteria could be discovered over the ancient baked beans and decomposing vegetables. She quickly shut the door turning to Pauline, looking slightly bewildered. Pauline chuckled.

"Harold never cooked for himself; I brought him all his dinners. You'll have to store these in the freeze box out back until we clean that darned fester stash. I'll heat up the chicken for you." Pauline didn't ask, but quickly started up the oven and prepared Jackie's dinner. She had feeling she was going to like this woman.

"Thank you, I'll have to go shopping tomorrow," Jackie said, feeling inadequate.

"Nuh uh, tomorrows Sunday, none of the shops are open then, except the Boar's Nest."

What kind of town is this? Jackie thought, frowning slightly, no shops open Sundays?

"Everyone at church eh?" Jackie asked with caution.

"Oh hell nar, no one can be bothered to work 7 days a week." Pauline chuckled. I should've guessed.

"Oh, right. What's the Boar's Nest?"

"The local truckstop." Pauline pulled out a plate and cutlery, "hey, you know what? If you're looking for a way to get some extra cash, I think they're hiring."

Jackie nodded, she wasn't sure how long she would be in Hazzard County, but maybe a bit of extra cash would be handy.

Pauline looked as though she was thinking very hardly about something for a moment. "I can put in a good word in for you if you want," She now looked at Jackie.

"Um… I'll see. I just want to get settled, if that's ok?" Jackie said shyly. Pauline chuckled

"Of course darrlin', you just get real comfy," She said reassuringly. Pauline looked at the old grandfather clock on the opposite wall, "Well I best be going, got a couple of rounds to do, but I'll drop by tomorrow and I can take you for a tour if you want?" Jackie groaned internally. She couldn't think of anything worse, but she had to live in this town, so a tour would probably be best.

"Yeah thanks, that'd be great," Jackie tried to sound excited, though she didn't know whether she pulled it off or not. Pauline hugged Jackie, which put her off a little, but the older woman was out the door before it got weird. Jackie followed her out and waved her out in her vintage blue mustang.

Jackie sighed, again, re-entering the house. It was getting dark, so she had the chicken Pauline had brought and made a bed on the couch. Having a very uneventful day, she was surprised how tired she was, though that could be due to jet lag. Her head fell on the pillow and she fell asleep immediately.

Jackie dreamt of home, of the hustle and bustle of Melbourne life. She was smiling and laughing, loving the familiarity of it all. All around her friends laughed and joked along with her at the traditional Sunday barbeque, but suddenly a huge, ravenous, hairy spider snatched her out of that picture. She was carried over mountains and seas, trying to free herself from the grip of this huge monster.

But she could not get free, she could not escape.

Finally she was dropped miles and miles through the air where she landed in an oversized cowpat. The Spider looked down at her, laughing. "You're stuck here now," he sneered in a husky voice, to which he turned and bounded of out of sight.

..oo00oo..

Jackie awoke suddenly by a loud rumbling noise. Jackie groaned, cursing who ever or whatever was making that wretched noise. Crawling to the window, she spied a cloud of dust approached the house through the tree lined road that ringed the property. From around the bend a huge roar sounded and within a split second an orange charger hugged the turn, blowing dust everywhere. Its tyres screeched as they worked to handle the rocky terrain. Jackie immediately recognised the vehicle as the one from the photos in her grandfather's study. Two young men sat in the front, whooping and hooning, the driver a sandy blonde and shotgun a rather attractive brunette. They had the token hillbilly look, scruffy facial hair and 70's rock t-shirts. She scowled as the car disappeared around another turn, leaving more dust and dirt behind in a cloud.

She would have to learn the name of the blonde, because he was dead meat.

So that's the first chapter done! hope you liked it enough to keep reading.

~ Shizzali