A/N:
Okay. I'm not all too pleased with this chapter. It was rather hard to write it for some reason. It's not that it's bad, but I could do better. Well, enjoy.
A Ninja's Tale: Chapter Three
The Good News, The Bad News, and The Chit-Chat
Good news. I kicked those Deepground Soldiers asses. But that was to be expected! After all, I am Yuffie Kisaragi, Materia Hunter and Super Secret Spy, who happens to be ubberly sexy. It was easy as pie, not that I'd do pie. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Awesome pun, Yuffie-chan, awesome pun. Anyways, I totally flamed them with my Enemy Skill materia. Nineteen wondrous skills to chose from. I use Ice Breath a lot. Flamethrower, too! Freshly roasted DGS, anyone? Ku, ku, ku!
Bad news. I still haven't found Bitch-Slapped Chick's documents. That sucks a freaking duck, ya know? But, when I do find them, I can fax'em to Reeve. YAY, FAX MACHINE! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Now, if I could only find those damn documents.
Good news and Bad news. I found one of those spinning chairs in Scarlet's office! GAWD. I love spinning around in these things! Everything goes around, and around, and around! So much fun! But then the world spins around in crazy circle and I get motion sickness from spinning. Blah. I think I'm gonna barf…
Good news. WRO peoples are here! I'm not alone! They brought another trunk, too! After I find those damn documents, more Go Go Chocobo's for me! Whootness, baby! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. The guy that just came in has an All Materia. Those go for a pretty gil. Ku, ku, ku.
More Good News. Operation Steal-All-Materia-From-Useless-Grunt, or S.A.M.F.U.G. (pronounced: Sam-Fug), was a complete success! I amaze me sometimes! He still has even realized it's gone! HA!
"Hey, you…"
I smile sweetly at the useless grunt that just walked into the room. He looks at me, dumbfounded.
"Could you be a total sweetheart and do something for me? Pretty please?"
I pawed at the with my foot, glancing from the floor to said useless grunt.
"O-Of course, Miss Kisaragi! What do you need?"
I lift my hand and point at some files on a high shelf. I already looked through them once, but HE didn't know that.
"Could you get those files for me? They're so high up and I'm rather short and dainty…"
"Yes! Right away!"
He runs to the shelf and focuses on reaching the documents. I slip behind him and put my ninja-rific skillz to work. I reach for the materia equipped to his gun and started nudging it, gently, but rapidly. The dolt is rambling on about how he'll get those documents down in a jiffy. I hear a ever so soft click and catch the All materia as it began it's fall toward the ground. I stealthily move back to my previous position and act like I was waiting there the whole time. Ha. That was to easy. I almost feel guilty this time, too. ALMOST.
My sweet, precious All materia. You're safe from that scary useless grunt now. Anyway. That was fun! After this, I'm so hitting the materia shop. Isn't like anyone is there…Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Bad News. Documents still M.I.A. (Missing-In-Action)! Nooooooooo! I've been searching all night! Woe is me! Why won't you magically appear, documents? Waaaaaaah! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why could Cait Sith come! At least he's more fun than these stupid WRO grunts! Hey, hey, hold it! I just had an idea…
Good news and Greater News. Documents located. Where? On a computer!! My genius even amazes me, sometimes. Haha! I faxed'em to Reeve a couple hours ago. He nearly peed his pants! He didn't expect me to find them so soon! Well, that's what happens when Yuffie Kisaragi is on the case. Even greater…Click! YES!! I'M IN! Materia, here I come, baby! Mama's comin' to save ya! YUFFIE TO THE RESCUE!!!
"Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. So much materia, so little time. Let me see. Two Ice materia, one Fire, three All, five Restore, one Poison, one Enemy Skill, and finally two Long Range. I'm definitely selling the Long Range materia seeing as I use long range weapons. Um…Sell one Ice, one All, sell the Enemy Skill, I already have that, and keep the rest. I get the feeling that--"
A computer screen flips on and Reeve's face appears.
"Hello, Yuffie!"
He raises an eyebrow.
"And where did you get that materia, now?"
"Um, found it."
"Really, now?"
"Yup, on my way to Junon!"
"I see…And not from the materia shop?"
"Nope. By the way, where are you?"
"I a WRO trunk on our way to Edge. "
"Oh. Wait, our? Who's with ya, Reevie-kins?"
"Vincent."
"Vinnie's there? OOOOOOOOO! Let me say hi to Sir Broods A Lot!"
"Yuffie…"
"Hey! Don't give me that Call-Me-That-Again-And-I'll-Shoot-You-With-Cerberus look!"
"You can't even see me, Yuffie."
"I AM the Great Ninja Yuffie, Vince. I've heard that voice go with that look so many times, it's permanently engraved into my brain. Reeve, didn't he give me that look!"
"Well, Vincent, you did. No need to deny it."
"…"
I laugh.
"HA! Well, anyhow, what's up, Reeve?"
"Did you see that broadcast from Deepground just now?"
"Ummmm…Nope. What was it about, Ree-Ree?"
"Well, a man named Weiss, the leader of Deepground, plans on killing the 'impure', as he called him. His description was rather…"
"Unpleasant."
I could barely see Vincent in the background, arms crossed and eyes closed.
Reeve sighs.
"That's one word for it, Vincent."
"Is it…Really that bad?"
"Worse."
"Eek. That's not good at all, Reeve. I rather enjoy living."
"I think most people do, Yuffie."
Reeve couldn't help but chuckle a little at Vincent's statement.
"Oh, shut it, Vince. Reeve, what do you want me to do?"
"Just head back to HQ, Yuffie. There's reports of DG in Edge, that's why were there going now."
"Rightie-o…Hey, Vinnie?"
"…"
"Could I have your cell phone number?"
"Good-bye, Yuffie."
Vincent looks at me, shaking his head a little.
"We'll see you in a little while, Yuffie."
Reeve smiles.
"Tuesti out."
The screen flashes and turns off. I sigh a little.
"Damn. Stupid Vince. Won't even give me his cell number! It isn't like I'd call him constantly!…That might be a lie, but still! I bet Tifa even has his cell number!…Gawd, I bet Tifa has his cell number!!!! SCORE! Yuffie, you so ROCK."