From This Moment On

by Lorelai Grint

Disclaimer: Ten chapters on and I own nothing. Except for the twists and turns set upon Jo's darling characters.

Chapter 10: Unspoken Words

Ron and Hermione spent the rest of the afternoon that day with Teddy. It went rather smoothly apart from the diaper change which gave both Ron and Hermione some trouble: neither had ever taken care of a baby for so long that those skills had been required. Eventually they got around to it, amidst a talcum powder fight, a diaper vs. human duel and some very expressively disgusted shouts by both Ron and Hermione.

Around 7 o'clock, Harry showed up at Professor McGonagall's office, who he had met after he'd left Andromeda resting peacefully in one of the rearranged classrooms, for the hospital wing was filled up. He told Ron and Hermione how all the classrooms that had been left up right had been transformed into dormitories, either for those who needed medical assistance (and therefore occupying the classrooms closer to the hospital wing) or simply a place to spend the night. Harry reported the arrival of half a dozen more Healers to help out Madam Pomfrey, who had suddenly been swamped with so many injured people. Apparently St. Mungo's had also admitted a lot of patients over the last twenty-four hours: not only had other people been fighting all over London the previous night, a lot of them had also been attacked throughout the morning by Death Eaters at large.

'I thought everything had been going on in here', Ron mumbled, his face petrified. 'In Hogwarts. I mean… he was here, not out'.

'But his opponents were everywhere', Harry said wearily. 'And so were his supporters… Seems like London in particular is a mess. The Ministry's destroyed, the most people that are capable of are working memory charms right and left on the Muggles. They've seen far too much'.

Ron glanced worriedly at Hermione.

'Did you hear anything about my parents, by any chance?', she asked, already knowing the answer.

'No… not even about Wendell and Monica Wilkins', Harry responded. 'But I mean, they're supposed to be in Australia, ain't it? So no need to worry', Harry attempted a smile.

Ron laid a comforting arm on Hermione's shoulders, bringing her closer to him. 'Harry's right, I'm sure they're fine. They moved to Australia, we checked it ourselves before leaving with Harry, remember? We'll go for them as soon as this clears up, I promise', he concluded with a kiss on the top of her head.

'What if –', Hermione sobbed.

'We'll bring them back', Ron reassured her before she could speak. She knew what her fear was. 'We'll bring the Grangers back, not the Wilkins. I know you'll be able to remove the spell', he looked her deep in her eyes, now placing his hands on each of her shoulders. 'It's still to come the day you won't be able to do something, Hermione. Except winning me at chess; that you'll never do. Or beat me at Quidditch. Or ride a broom properly'.

Hermione raised both eyebrows at him.

'That's supposed to make me feel better?', she asked sternly.

'It's a joke, 'Mione', Ron ran his fingers through her hair. 'You can do anything. I think you could even win the World Quidditch Cup single-handedly if you really put your mind into it'.

She let out a feeble smile, giving into his embrace. She buried her face on his chest, allowing his smell to fill her nostrils, his warmth to comfort her strained body, his touch to ease her anxious heart. She felt his chin rest on the top of her head.

Harry felt weird at the sight of his two best friends so closely entwined but at the same time he felt deeply thankful and genuinely glad that they had finally got it together. Then again, perhaps that weird feeling that was filling him up was not so much at the sight of them together but more likely at the fact that he could feel almost palpably their ache.

'Listen', Harry said quietly, feeling as though he was intruding on so much more. 'You've stayed with Teddy long enough, really. I was even thinking about taking him to see Andromeda in a while. Why don't the two of you go get some fresh air?'

'It's OK, Harry, we can stay and help', Hermione sniffed before releasing herself from Ron's embrace, her back still turned on Harry, who even so did not miss Ron's fingers running through her cheeks, undoubtedly whipping off tears.

'No, you two go', Harry told them stubbornly. 'He's been asleep most of the time, right?'

'Yeah, he's been really quiet', Ron mumbled. 'He's not such a workload, he's a calm baby'.

'See? So I'll be fine –'

'He'll want to eat soon, Harry', Hermione warned him. 'We fed him at about 4 or something, so he'll sure wake up soon enough wanting his bottle'.

'And I'll manage that too, I'm sure. I want to take him to see Ginny as well, so maybe I'll do that first and feed him before I take him to Andromeda'.

'So do you want us to help you to the Common Room?', Ron asked, his arm around Hermione's waist. 'Seriously, mate, don't turn this one offer down, you'll need help, trust me; that baby has more stuff attached to him than the three of us through the entire past year'.

Harry nodded, agreeing with a half-smile; after seeing Ron in such a better mood after spending some time with Teddy he was hoping the baby would lift Ginny's spirits as well. They packed every baby thing that had been spread around Professor McGonagall's office in the high of the diaper change and then Harry picked up Teddy after Hermione reluctantly allowed him to do so. They made their way to the Common Room mainly in silence, for silence reigned over the castle; Ron took Hermione's fingers in his, holding them tightly, as Harry tried his best to focus on Teddy as though to keep his mind off the concern about Ginny that was building up inside of him. Once they reached the Common Room, the three of them were surprised to see it was empty.

'They probably went to eat something', Harry said in a reassuring voice at the sight of Ron's apprehensive face. 'Just drop everything off by the sofa and go'.

'We could help, Harry, I mean –', Hermione tried once again.

'Drop it, Hermione. I'm fine', Harry repeated. 'And you two look like you could take a break. Besides, I'm sure Ginny and the others will be back any second'.

'If there's something wrong, call me, mate, all right?', Ron asked Harry worriedly.

'Don't worry. But there'll be nothing wrong', Harry reassured him in the same comforting tone, although Harry himself felt slightly concerned.

Ron nodded, although not at all convinced; he felt an urge to go look for his family through the entire castle, but at the same time he could not deny that spend a few moments more alone with Hermione outside was everything he needed at the time.

'Shall we go?', Hermione's voice was soft and low. Ron nodded again, making his way to the Fat Lady portrait. He looked back at Harry with Teddy, waved awkwardly and went through the hole. Hermione shivered at this new posture of Ron; the lightness was gone.

'Hermione –'

'I'm fine', she cut Harry at once. She knew by his tone he too had noticed the change in Ron's face; however, she did not want to discuss it any longer.

'If you need to talk –'

'Thanks, Harry', she gave him a feeble smile. 'I know. See you later, yeah?'.

Harry nodded disconsolately at Hermione before she too left the Common Room. He felt powerless and he suddenly found himself wishing he had magical powers to turn everything that was wrong around.

'And isn't that kind of ironic?', Harry asked Teddy, who was now wide-eyed and staring straight at Harry. 'Time for your bottle, I suppose', Harry smiled at him, stroking his soft baby hair. That baby surely had strong enough powers to make everything right.

*

The air had become fresher outside, even though there was still that summer warmth to it. A cool breeze welcomed Ron and Hermione to the grounds of Hogwarts, somehow dragging them back to reality. Hermione noticed that Ron's expression had hardened again and sure enough the sight of the tent wasn't doing anything to soften it. She opted to stay silent, merely tightening her grip on his hand.

They walked past the white tent until they reached the tree they had been sitting by that same morning. Funnily enough, it felt to both of them as though a century had passed since that moment. Looking around, Hermione understood from there they could see the castle, the lake further away and the tent. She sat down, wishing Ron would do so in a way his eyes would be kept away from it. Much to her relief he did so, lying down on the grass with only the grounds in his sight. She allowed herself a moment to be mesmerized at the perfect picture that was his ginger hair touched by the warm colours of sunset against the green grass.

Closing his eyes, Ron took a deep breath, taking in the smell of the grass, of the hot weather, of summer as he remembered it as a child. Suddenly, he felt old. Sure, he was only seventeen; however, it seemed like a lifetime had gone by since the last time he could remember being carefree. Last summer had barely allowed him to enjoy himself, with all the preparation and anticipation of the Horcrux hunt – and the rest of the year had not got any better. In fact, Ron felt like he would have to go back two years to point out the last summer that he had truthfully enjoyed himself, just playing Quidditch in the backyard with the others. And then he remembered Fred.

'What is it?', Hermione asked in an anxious voice as Ron gulped with his eyes closed. He took his hand to his face, straining his eyelids. 'Ron?', Hermione called carefully, uncertain of his reaction. She took it as a positive sign he didn't snap and so she ran her hand through his hair.

'I – hum', Ron cleared his throat after a while, his eyes still stubbornly closed with his fingers pressing them fiercely. 'I just – I feel so numb'.

Hermione's heart sank. It wasn't actually news, she was fully aware of how much Ron was aching; nevertheless, hearing him putting it into words like that made her despair the whole more real. She wanted to tell him how worried she was, how much she was fearing for his well-being, but she simply couldn't muster the words to do it.

'Ron, I'm actually kind of –', she began, but she got cut by someone calling out for them.

'Ron! Hermione, there you are!', Charlie called while walking up to them. Hermione felt Ron breathing heavily before raising himself up and turning around to face his brother. Hermione got up as well, feeling slightly anxious not only because she hadn't been able to say what she wanted to Ron but mainly because Charlie seemed rather distraught.

'I'm sorry, but we need you, Ron', Charlie explained in a hollow voice. 'Mum and George decided to go back to the tent, I honestly don't know why, and they're just – well, I don't know but something else happened. They're doing worse than in the morning. And Mum really cracked, mate, and Ginny… and Angelina's snapped too. We need you there, Ron, Bill and I can't manage –'

'It's fine', Ron mumbled. And with that he started making his way to the tent. Hermione hesitated to follow suit and before she knew it he was alone way ahead of her. Charlie understood her hesitation.

'He's been acting all messed up too, hasn't he?', he asked with a sad smile. Hermione nodded, her eyes watering. 'Look, Hermione, I wouldn't have bugged him if we didn't really need –'

'Charlie, please… I get it', Hermione whispered. 'I just – honestly, I wish I could undo it. I wish I could bring – you know, bring him back'.

'Say his name, Hermione', Charlie told her softly. 'Don't be like that, not saying his name –'

'Ron asked me not to', Hermione blushed, feeling like as though she was betraying Ron's trust by telling that to Charlie.

'I'd figured it'd be something like that; it's still silly'.

'It hurts him!', Hermione let out in protectively.

'Do you think it doesn't hurt me too? And everyone else? It's a constant reminder of Fred and that he's gone!', Charlie said heatedly. 'But that's how it's supposed to be. I don't want to forget about my brother –'

'That's not what Ron's doing!', Hermione retorted defensively.

'I know it isn't; but in the end it'll have the same result –'

'No, it won't', Hermione murmured.

'Maybe not as you see it', Charlie replied wisely and more calmly. 'By not saying his name, by trying to escape the pain through that path – the one of pretending or hiding in the back of his head what has happened – Ron will only be feeding his pain. He's not dealing with it –'

'I know', Hermione interrupted, half-surprised. Charlie was saying the exact words that had been troubling her all day long.

'So there, Hermione', Charlie shrugged. 'Don't tag along on that. I know it may feel like you're doing the exact opposite, but by confronting him you'll actually be helping him more than by playing the pretend and hide game with him'.

Hermione looked away, feeling lost, tired and cold despite the warm temperature. Charlie laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

'I might have been away for really long but I still know my brothers like the palm of my hand, trust me. They're almost as transparent as dragons are to me. Call it an instinct, if you must; but I know what I'm saying. And I also know that Ron cares, Hermione, even when he acts like a git; and he's strong. So don't worry – we'll make it through'.

Hermione nodded again, this time quite more firmly, even pulling a half-smile; Charlie patted her a tad too roughly on the back, which Hermione instantly connected to his display of affection to dragons. As they left the sunset clueless of any changes behind them and headed for the tent, Hermione saw that now at dusk it had a sort of an enchanted glow to it, as though reminding everyone – even at night – of the lives lost in the battle. And after her conversation with Bill, Hermione actually felt glad that it was so.

*

Once Hermione arrived at the Great Hall, she knew instantly that something more was terribly wrong with the Weasleys – she simply couldn't make out what. Charlie had asked her to fetch Harry in the hope that his presence would help calming Ginny down. Teddy had just finished eating and Harry was preparing to take him to see Ginny when Hermione arrived and explained to Harry what Charlie had told her. They only took the time to go find Andromeda and make sure she was feeling better to look after Teddy herself for a while. Andromeda was visibly calmer and lightened up at the sight of her grandson, practically obliging them to leave the baby with her.

Harry and Hermione had made it from the hospital wing to the Entrance Hall running, bumping into a deflated Lee at the end of the stairs. After he told them he was going for them to warn them that the Weasleys were now down in the kitchens for dinner, the apprehensive trio made their way to join them. The sight of the Weasleys was heartbreaking: those of them who were not still sobbing or with bloodshot eyes simply looked bewildered and lost. Clearly those did not know exactly what had been going on inside that tent.

Reaching Ron, Hermione instantly knew that his glum mood was back for good. He barely made eye contact with her when she softly called out for him, but it was long enough for Hermione to see that his eyes did not look like he had been crying for long - what Hermione was unsure was to whether that was a good or a bad thing. When was he going to let it out for real?

Looking sideways, Hermione saw Ginny hugging Harry and sobbing into his shoulder. Perhaps she would explain what all of that was about to Harry and therefore Hermione would be able to understand, for Ron's answer to her was simply 'I don't want to talk about it, Hermione'. She knew it would be best not to push it anymore so she left it at that. They all ate in silence, with the occasional sniff echoing through the silence every now and then. Even the house-elves were extremely silent and crestfallen.

At the end of the meal, Professor McGonagall asked for the attention of everybody in the kitchens, her voice in her normal tone for silence would drive it crystal clear to everyone.

'As some of you might know, tomorrow Hogwarts will be holding a memorial to celebrate the lives of those lost in battle. Everyone is welcome to participate, whether your families have been directly affected or not. This concerns all of us, all witches and wizards, all humans, in fact. Muggle lives have been lost as well and that shall not be forgotten. However, this memorial is not to be mistaken with the funerals, which we give the families complete power of choice to whether they would like to hold it here or elsewhere. For those who desire to do so, I can now inform you that a funeral will be held here in Hogwarts next Saturday, meaning it will take place a week after the battle. A graveyard will be set up by Hogwarts grounds, so those who lost their lives here can rest peacefully through eternity, if that is their families' wish. I can only hope that these simple ceremonies will somehow mend slightly the pain we are all feeling. If there is something anyone needs, you may find me in my office. Thank you for your attention and have a good night sleep; I will see you tomorrow'.

Ron looked away from the table from the first time since Hermione had arrived, to find George; he wanted to know what his brother thought of McGonagall's announcement. George was livid, staring blankly at his parents; he hadn't thought about any of that, about what he had considered technicalities, but which importance he was fully understanding now. Mr and Mrs Weasley exchanged stern looks.

'I – I –', Mrs Weasley mumbled.

'It's OK, Molly, dear', Mr Weasley whispered, stroking her hair soothingly. 'We have time to think about it and decide on it, together. Is that OK, George?'

George nodded in agreement, not uttering a word. Ron shivered; it was almost as he felt cold, even though the kitchens had an agreeable temperature. He did not want to think about those things, he did not want to participate in that kind of decisions – how was he supposed to know what to do?

Harry caught Hermione's eye, who had been glancing at Ron frantically. Harry tried to reassure her somehow; he could not afford Hermione loosing it as well, he needed Hermione to stand strong or else he knew Ron would instantly flip. Once everybody got up to go to bed, Ron practically ran to the doors, which allowed Harry to catch Hermione while Ginny was talking to George in an apologetic voice.

'Hermione, what happened –', Harry started.

'Do you know what went on in the tent?', Hermione asked him at once.

'No, that's what I wanted you to tell me, I thought Ron had –'

'Didn't Ginny tell you?', Hermione insisted.

'No, she said she didn't want to talk about it now'.

'Same as Ron, then', Hermione told him. 'Whatever it was, it can't be good'.

'What could have happened, Hermione? I don't think it was so much something that actually happened now, I think it has to be something else'.

'But what?'

'I have no idea', Harry shrugged. 'But they'll come around and tell us, Hermione. Don't worry'.

'Harry, Ron is not going to say anything unless I try to take it out of him by strength –'

'He will, Hermione, when he feels ready –'

'He's not talking about it, Harry!', Harry ushed her for people in the hallway had looked at them. She continued in a lower voice. 'It can't be good for him, can it?'

'No, but you pushing it will only push him away, you know how he is. Let him be, at least for now. Seriously, Hermione, give him some time. Don't forget we'll be getting back to the Burrow as well –'

'When?', Hermione asked slightly alarmed.

'After tomorrow, I think', Harry told her. 'At least that's what Mr Weasley was saying…We'll be staying for the memorial, then security measures will be checked and that's it, we're off Hogwarts until the weekend'.

'Why are we going back before –'

'Do you think postponing the return to the Burrow will make it any easier? It'd be all worse if you asked me'.

'You're probably right, yes', Hermione mumbled.

'Look, Hermione… This isn't easy, I know, but it'll get better', Harry stopped her once they reached the Fat Lady portrait. 'It has to get better; we've gone through everything for some reason'.

Hermione hugged him tightly and they both got into the Common Room silently. All that Hermione wanted at that point was to find Ron, kiss him goodnight and go to sleep: it had been a too long of a day.

Author's Note: I am so sorry I could not update last week; I did try as hard as I could to do so or at least to update during the week, but it was absolutely impossible. I will be setting up a special post on my Burrow/blog to explain it better, so please check my profile if you're interested in knowing more. Besides that, I just hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter - which is more of a "bridge" chapter, so things will really pick up from now on. Thanks for reading and reviewing and I'll see you next week - and that really is a promise!