I do not own the L Word or any of the characters: This story is based on some of Shane's revelations through the series but the rest is entirely fictitious

. Contains some spoilers from series 1-4. Please read and review if you like or hate it. Comments help me improve :D

Jenny looked deep into Shane's eyes; there was a new found seriousness about her expression.

"Do you remember what happened to you as a child that makes you not wanna …"

"No, no, whoa."

But Jenny interrupted, "no, no seriously hear me out. Do you remember the shit that happened to you as a child that makes you not want to trust people as an adult?"

Shane paused for a moment. "Yeah I probably do."

Jenny looked hard back at her. "Well then you're fucking lucky."

End Flashback –

As Shane drove back in the late night traffic her mind was elsewhere. It had been a provocative question Jenny had asked her and Shane felt uncomfortable. Her mind flashed back to the past. As her hands went on autopilot steering the Toyota truck to the only place she had ever called home, her mind went back to a dingy kitchen and the smell of dogs which hung in the air.

"Shane! Shane!" The harsh voice screamed through the kitchen.

The ragged and dark haired teenager looked down at her feet in disgust.What now she thought as she turned to face her foster mother standing in the doorway looking furious. Her squat frame filling the doorway, rolls of fat escaping from her dirty dress as she wiped her hands through her short gray hair.

"What the hell do you think your playing at you little bastard," she spat out.

Shane looked up at the woman in disgust

"I don't know what you mean," she replied mildly her face held in its usual expressionless gaze.

"What do I mean!" Sharon roared "I was at the store when I hear stories of the little brat I have taken into my home involved in grievous sin…with other girls!"

Shane continued to say nothing. This was apparently too much for her foster mother. She strode into the room and slapped Shane hard across the face. Shane although not unaccustomed to being hit was still surprised by the force of the blow. She collapsed backwards, sprawling across the grubby floor. In the backyard the dog began to howl as pain exploded across her cheek. She said nothing however, she had shed too many tears in this house already. Sharon lent over her, her face practically against her own. She could see the stained yellow teeth and felt the rancid breath over her.

"You dare to take your disgusting habits out into my neighbourhood. This is a house of God!" She pointed up at the simple wooden crucifix mounted on the wall. "Your mother abandoned you because you weren't good enough, like a bitch who knows there is a runt in the litter. Now get out of my sight you revolting dyke!"

Sharon began to raise her hand but Shane didn't need telling twice, she ran upstairs to her bedroom and slammed the door behind her locking and bolting it tight. It was only after completing this act that she allowed herself to lean against the doorframe and catch her breath. Slowly she slid to the floor, slipping down like butter. Even now she could feel her face swelling up and the prickle of tears in the corner of her eyes. Summoning all her strength she pulled herself up and to her feet, making her way slowly over to the cracked bedroom mirror. A dark haired surly teenager stared back at her. The cold blue eyes were expressionless, watching the sallow pale skin already puff and bruised.

This had to be it, she decided. Making her way over to the bed she bent down and pulled a battered rucksack from beneath it. It smelt pretty bad but Shane didn't care, this was the last time she was going to cower before anyone. Pulling out the bedside cabinet she stuffed her few worldly possessions into the bag. At the bottom of the draw was a tattered photo. The smiling woman in the picture stared back with the two dark haired children clasped under each arm. A small spaniel lay at the girl's feet, head cocked to one side. Shane stared down at the strangers looking back at her, their cheery smiles painted on blank faces. In the end she carefully folded the photo and placed at the bottom of the backpack. Just as she was taking one last glance around the room she heard the familiar sound of her step father's truck. Shit she thought, looking out the window she saw him roll in the front door stumbling as he did. She could hear voices below, raised and then the thump of her foster-father's heavy footfall on the stairs. The ground was a long way down but it was a risk she was prepared to take. As she wrenched the window open she could taste the cold wind that forced its way into the room. Here goes nothing she thought and with that Shane closed her eyes and jumped.