so people, this is me... kinda...I'm leechlovers friend and I hacked into her account (which was about me, who apparently sux...) So, I'm out to get her. Meaning that my story gets more hits and reviews than hers...HELP ME PLEASE!

You all know I don't own Twilight...If I did, Edward and I would be in the meadow right now...instead, I'm typing random things...What has the world come to?

Monsterous Mondays

Jasper Point Of View

No. No no no no no no NO! Not another boring and hideous Monday!

Sighing as I glanced around the room warily, I struggled to keep my emotions in check. Waves of annoyance, from the teacher who was annoyed at the students from falling asleep, lust, from the out of control hormonal teens, and The Emotion hit me like a brick wall.

The Emotion had troubled me for years. For as long as I could remember, actually. Even as a human I could sense it around me, terrorizing me with every single breath. A plague, The Emotion still haunted me, no matter if I was enjoying Alice's company, hunting, tackling my pig-headed brothers, or messing with random peoples emotions.

Ahh. The feeling intensified as yet another girl walked into the room, sassily shoving her tardy slip in the face of the teacher.

Groaning so low that only Alice could hear, I dramatically pounded my head against my desk silently. Glaring at the clock, I saw that there were still thirty minutes left for this class period.

Apparently Alice knew something of the torture I was undergoing, because she giggled. I growled at her seriously, not willing to take the matter lightly. This only caused her to laugh even harder and louder, even though the idiotic humans in this room still wouldn't be able to hear.

I tried counting the tiles on the ceiling.

The tiles on the floor.

The cracks in the wall.

The dents in the chalkboard.

The pieces of gum on the bottom of my desk.

The number of people who had serious BO in the room.

Wishing again I could sleep, I almost went insane as the teacher droned on about those darned Yankees. Almost. Well, more insane than I had already gone.

Yankees. I wish I could spit at their miserable faces. We Confederates should have won that war. Them darn Yankees!

Suddenly I found something in my pocket. Momentarily distracted from my long line of profanities by the piece of paper, I read it cautiously.

Dear Jazzy Pooh Hale,

Don't do it. I'm warning you. If you do, extreme measures will be taken. I mean it.

Your loving and devoted wife,

Alice

Do what? My train of thought crashed into a tree and de-railed.

What on Earth could cause Alice to be mad at me?

Aha! My train of thought, having righted itself, sped down the tracks eagerly. Looking up at Alice with pleading in my eyes, I silently begged her to consider my side.

Dear Alice Pooh Cullen/Hale,

Please? Pretty please? If not, then meet me in the men's room, the one on the north side of the building. I'll be waiting.

Please, please, please!

Mr. Too Cool (NOT JAZZY!),

Jasper

Having successfully placed the note in Alice's waiting hand, I raised my own.

"Mr. Doof—I mean Donyer, may I please be excused to go to the restroom?"

"Fine, but be quick. You need to know these things, they're important you know!"

Yeah, doof—tard (sorry, bff joke) I only lived it!

Impatiently tapping my foot on the floor, I waited for my pixie to arrive.

"Alice!" When I moved to kiss her, she abruptly side stepped me.

"Don't play nice with me, Mr., I know what you want!"

Knowing that the only thing I could do to make her cave was to cheat; I sent waves of love towards her.

"Alice, please?!" She swayed on her feet; obviously affected by the emotions I sent barreling towards her.

"Fine!" Was all she whispered before she kissed me deeply. But I pulled away soon, knowing I would need her sane to participate in my evil plan…

She laughed afterwards when her eyes glazed over momentarily. Asumming it to be related to my awesome evil plan, I brushed it aside. Now to get down to buisness...

I'MRANDOMI'MRANDOMI'MANDOMI'MRANDOMI'MRANDOMI'MRANDOMI'MRANDOMI'MRANDOMI'MRANDOMI'MRANDOMI'MRANDOMI'MRANDOM

As I walked back into the classroom, The Emotion washed over me. Drowned me. Killed me...Once again that is.

Suddenly all I wanted to do was run out of that room, back into Alice's comforting arms. Anywhere but here...

Despair, my own for once, filled me as the teacher, apparently having heard my entrance, impatiently insisted that I return to my seat.

I slowly crept back to my chair of doom, the one thing that confined me for only...after looking at the clock...YESS! Only twenty more minutes to go.

I grinned evilly as I thought about what would happen next Monday, The Monday that would put a stop to The Emotion!! Estatic, I jumped up and down slightly in my seat, faintly resembling Alice when she ate some of that stupid human junk food with that sugar in it.

Ha! I thought maniacilly, you female fools! You will regret the day you didn't take your medicine forever!

...to be continued

STOP! REVIEW NOWWWWWWWWWW! I'M BEGGING YOU!

Now I know how it feels to be an author and always want to keep writing, but things get in the way! Please don't virtually shoot, slap, or kill me! I PROMISE to update as soon as I can.

If you want me too, that is... : (...Sob sobsobsobsobsobsobsobsobsob!

If you do, review and tell me!