When you think about it, facing your fears makes you hesitant.

Knowing you may not be alive tomorrow can make your heart beat.

Admitting that your pride may be in danger fills your soul in dread.

Mankind shelters itself from such things; it's almost as if it never existed. But it's there and it's alive. This feeling most dare not talk about eats us around the edges our entire lives until there is nothing left to shield ourselves from it.

Something I'd rather not talk about, or even feel and I curse myself for ever feeling something like this. I can just simply ignore its existence, that way I won't get hurt. I'd rather not feel anything than drown in self-pity every night.

That's why… that's why I sheltered myself from this feeling for so long. Even now I still refuse to know it exists. It's something I can't escape, I keep running but when my walls come down… it'll catch me.