- Jade's Fomicry Experiment -

Disclaimer: No, I don't own ToA or ToS or anyone IN either game...Though I really, really wish I had a Corrine plushie! Bwahaha! Maybe I'll just make one!(shifty eyes)

AN: Well here it is, the addition to my quirky one-shot, which will now make it a quirky two-shot... Nay? Try to keep an open mind, and enjoy, but mostly, I hope you laugh.:) Warning, there's a lot of Sheelos floating around in here... and other hinted cannon pairs. Not to mention that Zelos is really bad in this... So forewarned as you are, you may proceed...

Summery: For those of you that are only in this for the ToS portion (which may be the case for many of you) and didn't want to bother with the first chapter, here is somewhat of a summery: Well, to put it simply, Jade from ToA has been feeling bored as of late, so what is a bored mage to do? Apparently in my story, he turns everyone into wolves whether they like it or not... To make matters even more entertaining for him, our heroes from Symphonia show up, and are automatically transformed into fluffy, four legged canines as well. When will the madness ever cease?... When Jade has had his fill, that's when.

--

It had started out as a perfectly miserable day. "Jade!" the group of wolves growled in something of an annoyed unity.

And it was going to continue... The misery that is...

"I apologize," he drolled, looking over the group with a dense lack of interest. Inwardly, however, he was laughing and smiled as though it was natural, but it was anything but natural for the Colonel, and so he hid it behind his stony features.

"At least have the decency to warn us beforehand!" Natalia hissed, fidgeting with her loose clothing. She sat, refusing to move until her sour mood was attended to. They had been walking for a few hours now, and ever since they left camp that morning no one had said anything more than a few words each. The morning's scramble after waking up had been most...disturbing. Natalia shook her head with a shudder and fixed a new glare on Jade. "That goes for turning us back as well."

Jade quirked up a funny look. "But that's hardly any fun for me, besides, if I did that... You would all no doubt try and stop me."

"Exactly!" they all shouted, all but Guy of course, since he was already prancing circles around everyone.

"Aw come on guys, let's just make the best of it, I know I am!" said the blond male as he drew beside Natalia excitedly. "You up for another round Natalia?" He grinned. "Bet you can't catch me this time."

Natalia tried to ignore him. "I'm not getting anywhere near you," she stated harshly, a little too harshly she noticed, and frowned when Guy nodded sadly and began moving away. "I-I mean, after what happened this morning-" Natalia was abruptly cut off as the youngest of their group hopped up onto a nearby boulder, her black-gray ears forward and her muzzle smirking with sly enjoyment.

"Forget about what happened this morning, besides, it was the funniest thing ever! I only wish I hadn't slept through half of it," Anise said, frowning now. "Honestly Colonel, you wreck all my fun." She sent said colonel a pouting lip face, which was either promptly ignored or unnoticed entirely. "Making Tear cast nightmare on me until everyone was dressed," she grumbled. "Despicable."

"Come now Anise, you're far to young to be watching R rated scenes like that," Jade replied, hiding a smirk under his placid mask as the other four present could do little more than blush, avoiding eye contact with anyone. "What would your parents do to me if I allowed such a thing to transpire?"

"But I see other R rated scenes!" Anise argued. "Or does blood, violence, and killing not qualify?" She tapped a claw on the rock impatiently.

Jade raised his paws in his usual: "I don't know what to do with this child" fashion and sighed his exhaustion outwardly. "I'll be over on that hill resting, I'll need more energy before I cast the counter-Arte... again." He turned to leave but made sure to shoot over his shoulder, "oh and please, do try and get along."

The other five wolves looked around to each other, puzzled. Why would they do otherwise? Everyone except Tear shrugged the thought off.

That Jade was a strange one.

"Unless he expects us to encounter someone else," Tear had thought just before a massive beam of light exploded from the sky and ended with a quake when meshing with the ground.

That's when the true meaning of chaos ensued.

- Sometime in the near future -

Our heroes were suddenly joined by another pack, even more curious than themselves and they outnumbered them six to nine. Luke watched in a daze as the new pack scattered after much shouting and exclaiming curses from the newcomers when they realized their predicament.

Luke and Tear remained where they were as the brown and blond hued pair came towards them, while the red-ish and black one approached Guy and Natalia, the small white and pink pups to Anise, leaving the larger white wolf and the blue one to speak with Jade on the hill. The mahogany male sat where he was, seemingly refusing to move.

"Hey there, 'name's Lloyd. And you should know, I don't normally give my name that freely, but I get the feeling I can trust you people," the brown one greeted with a confident nod and a stupid grin.

The blond one beside him nodded ardently. "It's true! Lloyd never volunteers his name...Oh!.." she paused abruptly, as though she had forgotten something important. "And I'm Collete!"

Luke tipped his head dubiously at the pair among his glance to Tear before replying. "I'm Luke... this is Tear."

Lloyd gave another toothy grin as he lightly chucked Collete's chin. "You dope, it's not that big a deal."

"Gee, that looks familiar somehow..." Luke opened his mouth and turned to Tear but she already had a stubborn look on her face and a paw raised to silence him.

"Don't you say a word," the copper wolf advised, causing Luke to glare at her through a smirk.

"She does the same thing to me and she knows it... Only, she calls me an idiot..."

While Lloyd and Collete continued joking and laughing, the other two contemplated an argument.

Guy and Natalia on the other hand, were having a time of it...

"I'm telling you, even in this body I'm a sexy beast!" the reddish wolf proclaimed, striking a pose. "It just goes to show, true beauty transcends through time, space, and even freaky magic!"

"And I'm telling you, it's called Fomicry!" Guy growled, still seething about an earlier, degrading comment towards Natalia.

Stepping into a curious dance and a smug expression, Zelos grinned mischievously. "You're all just jealous, admit it."

Guy snarled, he had taken just about enough from this jerk. "I'll show you jealous!" Teeth bared and hackle up, the blond one leaped at the red one.

At first, Zelos yelped, not expecting such a hair-triggered reaction. But regaining his confidence in an instant, he gave his new body a run for its money and took off in an explosion of snow as Guy surged through, seeing only his prey and a new anger that drove him.

Natalia and the coal black wolf set themselves to watch the display as Zelos ran in a seemingly relaxed gallop, back and forth from left to right, spouting petty insults to his pursuer that succeeded in their intent. In reply, among his enraged hunt, Guy barked back with fruitless threats that would most likely be attempted, but never executed.

"Oi, Sheena!" Zelos called to the black one. "Let's run away together. With these bodies we'd be halfway across the continent by nightfall!"

An eye twitch automatically played over Sheena's features. "Honestly, Zelos would you just sit still and shut up for a minute?" she barked with a bit of a snarl that she hadn't intended on. Little did she know the effect her words would have on the situation.

"What the-? Oof!" In a puff of snow, something slammed Zelos to the ground, forcing Guy to stumble before leaping over the red roadblock.

Near Anise's spot on her boulder, the white pup could be heard laughing at the Chosen's sudden stop while the pink one beside him smiled with a word of agreement. Anise just snickered through a sly smirk. Things were going to get interesting...

"Hah! The big idiot, he deserved that, and I don't even need to know what he said," the white one remarked, snickering still.

"Yes Genis, the odds of him saying something offensive is a 99.9 percentage rate," the pink one replied. "It's the punishment that puzzles me. Sheena's current speed does not match up to an attack that was not seen, which concludes that she did not deal the blow herself..."

Genis blinked in an odd stupor and then gave a smirk with a cant of his head. "You know Presea, sometimes I wonder who the real genius is around here..."

"You guys are an odd group," Anise said, standing up atop her boulder and stretching. "You're almost as weird as us."

"Oi! Twerp, when I get a'hold of you!-" Zelos was marching over to the youngest members of the group, a scowl on his face as it usually was when the party played a trick on him. "I thought I said no more kendama practice on my head!"

Genis stood up defensively and gestured with his paw. "Do I look like I can use a kendama?"

Zelos eyed him skeptically, then sat down in contemplation. "Well if it wasn't you, then who hit me?"

Brooding over in his spot some meters away and unmoving, Kratos sat, sulking in contempt of his new body. "This is ridiculous."

--

"-and so your transports should be arriving sometime after-" Jade was explaining, interrupted only when another flash of light erupted in the sky, followed by the four Rheairds as they crashed nearby, all the while Jade watched in a faded interest before finishing, "sometime after you."

Raine's ears went back in a dubious expression. "That's a little too convenient."

Regal nodded, eyes closed. "Indeed."

--

At this point, Zelos had wandered over towards the darker, more fiery colored wolf... and the female that accompanied him. What followed was nothing short of his usual provoking effect on people.

"Hey, will somebody put a leash on this guy? I have the sudden urge to put him down," Luke growled, lifting himself to all fours threateningly.

"Woah, woah," Zelos rattled off and held his paws up defensively, backing away with the intent of keeping things friendly... unlike earlier. "I didn't realize she was off limits, sorry bud."

Luke kept his steady glare, refusing to soften it until Tear nudged him. "Luke, take it easy, we don't need a fight to break out because of something stupid," she told him, her tone lined with disfavor, yet she remained right next to him, which told Luke she was grateful for his interjection.

Zelos frowned, seeing their sour temperaments he realized he had forgotten his own introduction! "Oh, my bad, I'm sure you're wondering who I am," he said, striking another pose. "I am the great Ze-"

"Zelos!" Sheena shouted. She had been delayed when Raine and Regal intercepted her and held a small conference about how she would be in charge of "keeping the peace" while they conversed more with Jade in order to understand how they got here. Sheena agreed, reluctantly no doubt, and proceeded with her pursuit of keeping track of that idiot Chosen.

She grinned when she seen him cringe from behind. "Sit!" and Zelos immediately collapsed to the ground with a small quake.

"What the hell?" he moaned, slowly picking himself out of his mold in the soil. He sat up, looking around in the sky suspiciously, as if looking for his opponent. "Something landed on me! I know it did! Am I losing my mind?"

As Zelos continued to look around frantically, as though he would be attacked any second, Sheena smiled warmly at Luke and Tear. "Sorry about him, anyway, I'm Sheena, the idiot here is Zelos," Sheena said, her tone grumbling when reaching his name.

Tear nodded soberly. "Tear," she said, and nudged Luke, since he had started moping.

"Luke," he grumbled, barely glancing at the two newcomers; he liked Lloyd and Collete more already.

"Oi, Sheena, why you gotta hit me for?" Zelos whined as he drew beside her.

Sheena rolled her eyes and regarded him with annoyance. "I didn't hit you Zelos."

"But it had to be you!" he shot back, desperate to find the answer to his mysterious attacker. "It wasn't the twerp. Besides, you're the ninja, that means you're the only one that could pull something as freaky as that off!"

"I'm fast, but I'm not that fast," she admitted honestly, her new smile indicating her amusement on the matter. "Maybe if you behave, it won't happen anymore."

"But it's no fun, behaving and all," Zelos whined, his head low in a pout.

"Sit!"

"Ow!"

Sheena nodded approvingly. "I admit, this works much better than smacking you."

"It hurts a lot more too!" Zelos grumbled as he rubbed his sore head.

Luke and Tear shared an odd glance. "Are you two-?"

"Lovers?" Zelos supplied without heed to the consequences. "Yep!-"

"Sit!" Sheena growled furiously. "Don't mind him, he says that to everyone." She smiled at them nervously. "So, you have any idea why we're wolves?"

Zelos moaned, he was already laying down! "Sheeenaaa, I think you broke something that time!" he howled pathetically, hoping to win some sympathy.

"Ignore him please," Sheena muttered through clenched teeth.

Luke motioned over to the conference of Jade, Raine, and Regal. "His fault. We're just the victims."

Moments later a silence descended and Zelos had entertained himself by rolling on his back from side to side in the snow. Why this amused him remained to be seen... Since a wolf angel was hardly plausible...

Sheena's ears were pulled back in an obvious irritation to this, but technically he wasn't doing anything wrong so-

"Say, Sheena," Zelos said with a bit of sly edge, even going so far as to nudge her for her attention.

Ah, his mouth, Sheena smiled malevolently; it never failed in giving her an excuse to scold him. If only she knew what he was about ask in advance, then she would have knocked him out cold before he even had a chance to think of it, let alone speak it.

"I'm just curious, what would happen if we did it now? Would you have a baby, or a puppy?"

Three simultaneous slams followed. "Sit! Sit! SIT!" Sheena roared at him furiously, and she would have blushed scarlet but thank goodness wolves had not that capability. "You pervert! That was a disgusting question!"

Zelos moaned terribly from his hole in the ground. "But Sheena, aren't you curious at all?"

"No!"

"But-"

"Sit!"

The two kept at it, Zelos couldn't seem to get the hint that he was only digging himself into a deeper hole, literally.

Luke and Tear both watched in a bit of bewildered awe. Tear, for her part, was rather embarrassed, similar to Sheena's reaction, and Luke... well, he wondered if this entire experience was turning out to be a longterm bad influence on him, for he started wondering on the same thing.

With his curiosity getting the better of him, Luke looked around frantically, trying to find something to distract himself with. "No, no, bad Luke, think happy thoughts, like Mieu, urgh! Mieu annoys me, think of something else, like... like food!" He turned to Tear in his frenzy. "Tear, I'm hungry, are you hungry? Let's eat!"

Meanwhile Tear had found amusement in watching the other pair argue, because by now Zelos was trying in vain to run away amongst his constant pummeling. Upon hearing her name, Tear regarded Luke calmly, and after seeing his panicked state, she tilted her head in question. "Luke, what's the matter?"

"You mean besides hunger?" Now he looked even more frantic; Tear had a way of seeing straight through his lies. "W-well, I-I, er- Never mind that, let's just eat already!" And with that, Luke took off, hoping to leave the whole ordeal behind him, with Tear trailing after him quizzically.

Thus leaving Sheena and Zelos to their bickering.

The three blonds plus brunette had found a common interest in another romp in the snow, once again instigated by Guy, with Genis, Presea, and Anise(not without grumbling first) joining in soon after.

The three on the hill continued their discussion.

Kratos continued to sulk in his spot, now laying on the ground he opened one eye to behold the utter folly his companions partook in, and promptly closed it again with a scoff. "Unbelievable."

--

Dusk had fallen and everyone had gathered around expectantly. They were beginning to wonder if they'd ever be turned back to normal. That or if they just couldn't seem to wake up from the weirdest dream they'd ever had.

"I understand now," Jade said after long moments of silence and contemplation. "This arte works on you all because it is in constant use in the form of an FOF, and whenever someone enters the field's range they are automatically transformed as well."

"Oh, so you mean when I go out of range I'll change back?" Luke asked the question in more of a statement form as he was already running headlong to the field's boundary...

"Luke no-!" Jade and Tear both started, but found it futile.

Jade turned to Tear and Guy. "Tear, nightmare Anise please. Guy, go take him his clothes, and everyone else," he turned to them. "Please turn away, trust me, you won't want to see this."

Fin

--

- Blooper Time! -

AN: Here's a blooper scene that I wrote, but couldn't seem to find a good spot to add in the story. I thought it was just too funny not to post, ya know?

"Honestly Zelos, can't you get your mind out of the gutter for five minutes?" Sheena hissed. "Five Minutes?!"

"B-But Sheena! I like the gutter," Zelos mumbled with a pout. "Besides, I'd like to think of it as more of a natural curiosity."

"Natural- There's nothing natural about it!" she seethed. "Wait... does this have anything to do with the shower incident? Because if it does-"

"Of course not!" Zelos assured her. "That was a "natural curiosity towards the unknown". This is sort of like an experiment..."

"Experiment?!" Sheena hissed, indignant now.

"Exactly," he nodded, advancing on her to a dangerous proximity. "So with that said, how about right now?"

"Zelos!"

"What?" he asked blankly. "Why wait till dark? In the daylight you can see what you're doing a lot better and-"

"Just shut up already!... Better yet, Sit!"

"Not the face!" he yelped, and shortly thereafter, he was down.

Walking away, Sheena kept muttering on about his stupidity. "I never really cared for experiments."

--

AN: Feh, not my best piece, but it was fun, and yeah, I'm sure most of you noticed that Inuyasha reference, well, that was actually just Sheena summoning Corrine, but since she's summoning him on Abyss soil, Corrine arrives invisibly and coincidentally...on top of Zelos' head. XD How I come up with this stuff is beyond me... Anywho, hope you enjoyed, please review and tell me you laughed at least once.