Disclaimer: Not mine
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: KakuHidan
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.
Thanks: To Cristaline-Crimson. No, scratch that. Thank the Force. And the Dire Straits.

LOVE OVER GOLD

Everyone in Akatsuki knew that Friday nights were Uke-reunion nights. Itachi, Deidara and Hidan would hole up in the Iwa nin's room and bitch about everything and nothing. But mostly about their partners. Nothing good ever came out of these meetings but the three would always find themselves together on Fridays.

This Friday it was Hidan's relationship's turn to be dissected and criticized.

"Admit it Hidan, un. Kakuzu has a closer relationship with his savings account than with you, un." said the young bomber

"What the fuck?! You're shitting me, right? You can't fuck a bloody bag of coins!"

"Bad images in my head, unnnn!!!" cried the poor blonde holding his head in his hands

"Well, what does he have to give to you, then? Obviously he already sold his soul to money, his body is just a leftover. I wouldn't deem this a relationship." said coldly Itachi sipping his hot cocoa

"You're more like a handy fuck, un. One that he doesn't have to pay for, un."

Hidan was left speechless. They were wrong. Fucking wrong with capital F! What about all those times that Kakuzu actually rented an hotel room for the to sleep in when it rained? Or when he put up with his sacred rituals and even cleaned up after him? And when he bought Hidan lollipops to cheer him up after a fight? And fuck the soul, the heathen bastard didn't have one to begin with.

Deidara eyed him with a pitying look, but he knew that it was for the best. Hidan couldn't get himself too involved in this one-sided relationship or he would just get hurt in the end. And a hurt Hidan meant seven more weekly rituals and the blonde bomber wasn't sure if he could stand them.

"Come on, Hidan, you have to face reality, un. Kakuzu can't possibly love you more than his precious money, un!" exclaimed the Iwa nin

Hidan had had enough. Fuck those two sissies who considered themselves S-ranked criminals. He would show them that not only Kakuzu was at his beck-and-call but that he would even REFUSE money for the wonderful Jashinist.

He stood.

"Well, fuck you, I'm gonna prove you wrong, you fucking bastards."

And with these words he was out of Deidara's room.

"Denial."

"Un."

Kakuzu had just returned from his solo mission and was eager to get out of his dirty clothes, take a bath and get in bed with his lover, then he remembered. Friday nights were Uke-reunion-nights. Leader and Hana were safe somewhere in another hideout, Kisame and Sasori asked for a mission and were now in Cloud and Zetsu was out training Tobi. Something about the brat not seeing if it was a wild animal or his sensei that bit him.

He sighed, hoping that Hidan would be clement seeing that his partner had just returned from a hard mission.

/I guess not./ thought the man looking at his private funds bag, on Hidan's bed, open

Hidan knew very well that he couldn't touch Kakuzu's money. Kakuzu would grumble and mumble if the silver haired man asked for something but he would give it to him most times. But his money was off limits.

He quickly glanced inside the bag. His money was still there except for a missing wad. Now, not everyone would have noticed but Kakuzu always numbered each wad that he owned and 'K-no. 1' wasn't there anymore.

He heard the bathroom door open and he turned, enraged, to confront his lover.

"What the hell have you done with my money, I told you too many times that… you…"

And then he faltered.

In the doorway stood Hidan.

Completely. And. Absolutely. Naked.

Kakuzu's mask suddenly felt wet. From blood or drool he wasn't sure, maybe both. His partner smiled and passed one hand in his un-gelled hair. The symbol of Jashin hung quietly on his chest, right between his erected nipples.

/No, bad thoughts! Money! I have to find my money!/

"Kakuzu…" breathed the smaller man before waving his hand

Green eyes followed distractedly his movements before noticing something. In Hidan's hand there was the missing wad. He narrowed his eyes. What exactly had his lover being planning? His gaze followed Hidan's hand as he waved the notes under his nose but when he tried to take it, his lover would put them out of his reach.

"What did I say about taking my money?" growled Kakuzu, frustrated with this little game his partner seemed to be enjoying

"I'm not taking it. I will return it to you." smirked the silver haired man

Kakuzu was confused. Where was the sense about taking money and not keeping it?

Hidan's right hand kept waving the wad back and forth, always followed by the older man's gaze, but then his left one started moving too. It went from Hidan's collarbone, to the silver Jashin pendant to one rosy nipple.

Kakuzu's eyes immediately fixated on it and he inhaled sharply. But he had his money to get back! The other hand was always moving in really repetitive moves with his notes in it. He could easily snatch them, put them in the bag and then pay attention to his lover but then the Evil Left Hand went South.

Hidan's index finger reached his bellybutton and started to mimic a sexual intercourse, the digit slowly entering the little hole before coming out. In and out. In and out. And the right hand always waved his wad under his eyes, but now he was hesitant.

Right or Left? His beloved money or that tight ass with his cock firmly inside? His eyes kept shifting between the two hands, faster and faster.

Hidan licked his lips and lightly moaned. And Kakuzu couldn't take it anymore.

With a determined expression and an angry motion he took the wad from Hidan's hand and carelessly threw it behind himself. Then he tore his mask off and proceeded to devour his partner's mouth.

Hidan smirked in the kiss.

/Take this bitches./

A/N: Easy to write, it came to my mind in an instant when Crystaline-Crimson used the Force on me. Lol. And I command you to go listen to Dire Straits!!! (It all started when reading CC's review on Just Because… 'KakuHida! The force COMMANDS you to write KakuHida! -hypnotism watch-'… I died…) I dreamt that Jiraiya died against Pein and that Sasuke gets speared by Tobi/Madara who's using the protections on his arms as an axe-like weapon. ... XD