"Argh! That woman! There are some days I wish we never met!" he yelled to no one in particular. Sam, in the kitchen attempting to find something to drink other than energon, peeked his head around the corner what was commonly dubbed the living room.
"Lennox?" he questioned in disbelief, "I thought you were in Miami with Sarah and Annabelle!" The captain looked over at Sam and snorted.
"The blasted woman left without me! I had left her a voicemail saying 'Hide and I were looking into the possible landing sites of a few more Autobots and that I'd be home as soon as I could. Instead of a least calling me to bitch me out, she leaves me a note! A fucking note, Sam, that said, 'Sorry you're too busy with your Loverbot to take a bloody vacation with your real family. We'll see in you in a month...at the earliest.' There wasn't even a phone number or address of where she's staying! My daughter is on the other side of the damn country and I can't get a hold of her mother!" Sam cringed as Lennox dropped heavily into a nearby human sized Lazy Boy.
"Maybe your wife thinks that your having an affair with someone or something," Sam suggested, trying to understand why Sarah would get so worked up over Will checking up on Autobot business with Ironhide. Lennox grumbled something under his breath. Sam frowned.
"What was that?" he asked. Will glared up at him.
"She does," he hissed. Sam's eyes grew so wide that, if he wasn't so pissed at the moment, Lennox would've laughed.
"Who does she think you're cheating with?!" the teenager demanded. Again, Lennox mumbled something under his breath.
"I can't understand you when you mumble," Sam sighed, having a weird sense of parenthood at the statement. Man, did his parents have to go through this with him? Lennox gave a sigh of his own.
"Sarah thinks that I have a...thing for Ironhide," he repeated.
"What?!" Sam's screech was deafening. Will's glare hardened.
"Yea," he said acidly, "my wife thinks that I have an intimate relationship with my GMC pickup that just so happens to turn into a giant, weapons specialist robot." Sam shook his head.
"She's crazy," he murmured. Suddenly, remembering what Lennox had said the note read, Sam's eyes widened even more.
"How did Ironhide take being called a Loverbot?" he asked the slumped form of Will. The captain seemed to slump even more.
"He doesn't know," he muttered miserably, "and I'm not exactly in a rush to tell him." Sam gazed at Will in sympathy.
"You should tell him, Will. He has a right to know." Lennox laughed dryly.
"How do you propose I tell him, hmm? Just walk up to him and say, 'Oh, by the way, my wife thinks that you and I are lovers and are having an intimate relationship'. Yeah, that'd go over real well. I'd be a puddle of bodily liquids before I could blink." The military man heaved another great sigh and stood.
"I'd better get going. Don't want Ironhide to catch up with me. I tried to ditch him in a taxi a while back. He already suspects something is the matter. I was completely silent with him; up until the time I ditched." Sam grinned.
"You? Silent? For more than ten minutes? No wonder he thinks something is up," he joked. Will smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes.
"Thanks, Sam. I appreciate you listening to me." Sam's smile faded and he nodded his head.
"Anytime, bro." His face suddenly brightened.
"Hey, why don't you stay here?" he suggested. At the captain's raised eyebrow, Sam hurriedly explained, "If you stay here, you won't have to go home to an empty house and I'll be around to listen to you whenever. I stay here most of the time anyway; Optimus thinks it's safer than my house." Will shook his head.
"I'm trying to avoid Ironhide, not trap myself in a base with him." The brown haired teen grinned.
"He could trap you anywhere, Will," he pointed out. "At least here you have backup." Will smirked,
"True. But 'Hide would also have backup. That's all I need; three more robotic beings trying to get me to talk about something I don't want to talk about. Good plan, Sam," he said sarcastically.
Sam shurgged off the sarcastic comment and instead inquired, "Will you stay?" Lennox opened his mouth to reply when a black GMC truck roared through the bot sized door of the base. Involuntarily, Will flinched. Damn. Transforming before he even made it to a complete stop, Ironhide leaned down to be on a more equal level with the captain.
"Why the hell did you run away, Captain Lennox?" the Autobot demanded. Will thought for a moment. Could Autobots tell when you're lying? He certainly hoped not, otherwise he'd be screwed.
"I was trying out a new military strategy. Dodging and evading," he finally answered. Ironhide's optics narrowed to slits. Will was lying. His heart rate had sped up considerably and he looked entirely too uncomfortable with the situation. Opening his mouth to respond, Ironhide was suddenly cut off.
"Hey, Ironhide," Sam spoke up, "did you know that Will here decided to stay here at the base for awhile? He thought that since Sarah and Annabelle were out of town, he'd hang out here with us." Looking over at Will, Sam almost paled. The glare the captain was sending his way could've made hell freeze over. Ironhide watched the exchange between the humans as he straightened up. If Lennox was going to be staying at the base, the Bot would have plenty of time to drill him on his apparent anger earlier that day. Deciding that finding Will later, perhaps when his guard was down, would prove more successful, Ironhide grunted.
"Well, since the captain here will be staying with us for a while, I'll leave you two to let him get settled in." With that said, the black weapons specialist turned and walked down the hall towards the med bay to have Ratchet check up on his cannons. Letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, Sam turned to Will. Will's glare grew frostier, if that were possible.
"Some backup you turned out to be," the captain growled. Sam backed up a step.
"Hey! I got him off your case, didn't I?" he asked indignantly. The captain crossed his arms.
"He'll be back and thanks to you, I am scheduled to stay here for a month!" Sam followed the captain's example and crossed his own arms.
"I helped you out back there, man! If I hadn't said something, Ironhide would still be here questioning you on your "military strategy". I saved your life!" he argued. Lennox shook his head fiercely.
"No! All you did was prolong my misery!" he seethed. Sam let out a defeated sigh and uncrossed his arms. This conversation would get them nowhere. Except maybe two examining tables in Ratchet's med bay...
"Let's just drop it, okay? You're stuck here for a month, so you might as well get settled in. I'll help you find a human sized room close to mine," Sam said with authority, beginning to walk down another hall. Will followed Sam's form with his eyes before slumping slightly.
"I hate you," he mumbled.