all right, i lied. i said there would be an epilogue after this.
there isn't going to be. if there ever is, it'd be in oneshot form.
i basically shoved the epilogue ideas into this extra long chapter.
it's been a great ride and i thank you all for the support and critiques.
i've taken it all to heart and i hope this chapter appeals to you all (i tried my hardest)
so, enjoy, grab some popcorn, and indulge in the update

Heavenly

December 25th

Sora stared idly out the window for a few more hours after his brief conversation with the head honchos above. His gaze dully on the monotonous streetlights outside that were partially covered by the day's before snow. The angel sighed some and lowered his right hand to his left. Shaking digits traced the silver band a few times before his fingers slipped away. An unsettling feeling began to grow in his stomach. Sora looked over his shoulder at the slumbering silveret on his bed. The moon and incandescent light leaked in and illuminated every sinful curve of the other's body. Although they had claimed there was love, although they had whispered sweet nothings during the sex, Sora felt a tinge of guilt and uncertainty. Perhaps it wasn't love but just pent-up lust that was released due to the growing tension? Perhaps 'love' was the only logical way to go about doing any of the things they had both begrudgingly dreamt of for decades.

Sora's eyes fluttered shut and he stood by the window for a bit longer. For some reason, the moon felt good against his naked skin. Being exposed in such a state as this, weak, defeated, and helpless, actually made him feel even deader. Being dead meant that he didn't have to live—that he didn't have to go through the struggles humans usually did. Being dead meant he didn't have to fight heartbreak and starvation. Being dead meant that he could be a free spirit again.

After a few hours, the brunet angel walked silently over to the messy bed. He sat down and smiled sullenly down at Riku. Just as beautiful as always, he was. He sighed some before reaching out to touch the hair he adored so much. "You know," he began in a conquered voice; "if I hadn't told you that I knew you were dead, would you have told me your great plan? Or would have you continued to deceive me?"

There was a constant clash in his heart and mind. He, at first, had truly believed that Riku was sorry and that he cared but now he was having second thoughts. He had been too caught up in the afterglow to properly analyze what Riku had said. Was there any sure way to make certain that the other was sincere? Sora sighed and continued staring at Riku. He felt like throwing up.

He didn't expect a response and was not stunned when he only received silence. The brunet closed his eyes and held back a frustrated noise. "I'm leaving at dusk tomorrow. I'll lie and tell heaven that I love you and that I forgive you." He shifted a bit and lay back down, resting his cheek motionlessly against the pillow. "It won't all be a lie, after all. I'll just elaborate the truth."

But I do love him, you've said so yourself. Stop doubting it… Sora's mind screamed at him. The ruthless war continued in his heart. Thoughts were slain and emotions were chained and then set free again. His rationality and adoration fought for dominance and left him with a throbbing headache. He wanted to believe every word Riku said to him, but he just couldn't. And yet, he had. It made no sense.

Without another word on the matter, Sora shut his eyes and allowed sleep to overcome him, dragging him into the depths of his mind. For now he was safe from the torture. For now he was slumbering beside the one man who controlled his fate.

xxx X xxx

December 26th

"Sleepyhead, wake up."

Sora's eyes slipped open weakly. Riku was resting beside him, happier than ever. The silveret could not deny that he liked it here. For one thing, it was warm, in contrast to his old apartment. For another, being here meant being with Sora and convincing the brunet that he wasn't a truly corrupted and sinister man. Being here was like blending their two heavenly lives together, even if he was only one in the room to view it that way. The brunet surveyed Riku's glimmering eyes for a moment. His lips fell open, as if to speak, but he fell silent and closed his lips promptly.

"Here," Riku said and pulled the covers back over their exposed bodies, "it'll be warmer this way."

Bright spots of color had mounted in Sora's cheeks. Part of his embarrassment, he knew right off the bat, was because he was lying naked beside the man who claimed to love him. "Oh," he mumbled quietly and clutched at the blankets insistently. For some reason, being exposed for any reason other than sex seemed illogical, awkward, and unnecessary.

"Sora, something's wrong," Riku decided—it wasn't a question, it was a statement.

Sora shrugged and nuzzled the side of his face against his pillow. He hadn't gotten that much sleep the night prior and now he was paying for it in spades. The brunet angel laid there inertly for a few moments, allowing the war between his heart and mind to start up again. His fingers remained stiff against the ends of the blankets, refusing to loosen their grips any time soon. "I'm fine, Riku."

"Sora," Riku began stubbornly.

"When I say I'm fine, I'm fine, okay?" He didn't mean to sound so rude and harsh but it just came out that way. Sora sighed and allowed his body to relax back against the sheets. He really wanted to get dressed but at the same time he really wanted to remain covered up.

"What's with the sudden one-eighty?" Riku questioned. He propped up his body a bit so that he could lie on his side and watch Sora's every single movement, down to the small breaths that escaped the brunet's small lips that he adored and desired more than fathomable.

"What do you mean?" Sora questioned lifelessly.

"Your attitude," Riku answered and pointedly touched Sora's cheek. "You look like you just swallowed something horribly sour. Sora, what's wrong?"

"I told you, I'm fine," Sora reiterated and looked away. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. He wasn't in the mood to argue—he didn't want Riku upset nor did he want the other to cling to him like some sort of lover. They weren't lovers. They weren't friends. They weren't enemies. They weren't anything, really, except angels with no real correlation to one another anymore.

"You confuse me," Riku decided in an annoyed groan. "First you're enamored by me and then I wake up the next morning and you want to rip my eyes out. What gives?"

"I wouldn't rip your eyes out," Sora pointed out dryly, "Listen, I just don't feel well, okay? I'm just thinking about Cloud, and Leon, and Axel and I just really don't feel like talking. I'm sore and miserable."

Riku frowned some. Carefully, the silveret made a move to wrap his arm around the brunet's naked waist. He paused when he felt Sora flinch away from the briefest of touches. He took the hint. "Then take your time," Riku sighed softly and laid back down, his back hitting the bed in a defeated stance.

"Why would you have sex with me?" Sora finally asked.

Riku's attention was recaptured. "Excuse me? Why are you asking that?"

"Because, I want to know why you were so hell-bent on having sex with me last night," the brunet explained curtly, his eyes averted.

"You wanted it just as much as I did!" Riku refuted frustration piquing. "You were begging for it, actually."

Sora huffed a bit. "I was not begging." His heart panged. "Why are you treating me like I was a horny teenage boy?"

Riku blanched some. "Are you serious, Sora? I'm not! You're the one accusing me of this. Sora…" He reached out to touch Sora again but remembered the earlier reaction. He frowned some. "I'm not looking for a fight, okay? Definitely not a fight. I just want to know what's bothering you, okay? There's no malice in that, I assure you."

Sora rolled his eyes, again, acting rashly against his heart's accord. "Really? Then why is it you only care about how I feel after you kill me?"

"Not this again," Riku groaned. "We've gone through this, Sora. I'm not going to keep defending myself. It's over, Sora. I thought we settled it."

"You mean after and before the sex?" Sora wondered lamely. "I don't want to talk about it. Just drop it."

"You brought it up," Riku grumbled and held his forehead with confusion. "Aren't we supposed to be clinging aimlessly to each other and kissing senselessly considering we just had sex for the first time in both our lives?" he wondered aimlessly, looking at the brunet with intense perplexity.

Sora rolled his shoulders into a shrug and leaned his head further back against the cold pillow, his mind throbbing with how harsh he was acting. It wasn't fair. "Sex wasn't as good as I thought it would be."

Riku deadpanned. "…Now you're just being a brat."

"No, I'm acting like an adult and not a hormonal teenager," he murmured and held the blankets tightly. "Just because we had sex doesn't mean anything is solved." He bit his bottom lip, as if fighting with himself to speak the words. It didn't matter, though, Riku didn't notice that small gesture.

"You're pushing me away for no reason," Riku concluded and stared down at Sora. "Why?"

Sora sighed. "I'm…not, okay?"

Now that Riku had something to go on, Sora's little snaps made sense. The silveret sighed and watched Sora for a moment. "Sora, are you afraid of going back to Heaven or something? Are you afraid that we both won't go back?" When Sora didn't answer the silveret hesitantly rested a hand to the brunet's cheek. His touch was soft and shaky.

"Don't want to talk about it," the brunet mumbled as he pulled the blanket over his head for a safe retreat.

Riku's hand remained on Sora's cheek, regardless of the blanket now obstructing his view. "Then I'll wait. We have five days left, Sora. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here to talk to and to yell at when you see fit." His hands slipped away and left Sora's body alone, upon request.

Sora felt his heart silently break. "…But I am…" he whispered to himself, his heart winning the small side battle. Under the blanket, he silently sobbed. No tears fell—he had mastered the art of crying without wet tears over the month.

"Sora?"

Sora fought back an assault of his heart and peeked out from the blankets. "What? I'm resting. I obviously don't want to talk right now. I just said that," he stated emotionlessly. He was being unreasonably stoic but it felt like the only way to accomplish what he wanted to.

Riku sighed. "So, you're basically telling me that last night was just two guys having sex with no strings attached? That everything you said was just because you wanted to have sex?"

Sora fought back the urge to argue otherwise. He wanted everything that happened the night prior, and his heart told him that he spoke the truth—that they both did—but his mind was still skeptical. "That'd be a bit cruel, even for me," the brunet stated after a moment with a weak sigh.

Riku, even though confused beyond recognition, felt a bit relieved. His aquamarine hues caught sight of the ring upon Sora's hand. At least it was still there. "Sora," he began, reaching out to cup Sora's face. When the brunet didn't pull away, he took it as a sign that Sora was finally coming off his angry venting.

"Hm?" He pretended to be apathetic.

"If you're worrying about getting into Heaven or not, don't. You're a beautiful person, inside and out. What you've done has been for the best and you're just so genuine. Sora, I doubt that anyone could ever possibly refuse you. You're the definition of an angel. They'd be crazy to reject you after all the crap you've put up with through your life," the silveret stated in a whisper, his gaze locking with Sora's.

The words drilled home. "And what about yourself?"

Riku averted his gaze for a moment. "What about me?"

"Yeah. You afraid of not getting into Heaven?"

"I have no idea anymore," Riku murmured and kept Sora's face in his hands. "Nothing makes sense and I'm just going to enjoy these last few days with you. I'm sorry that I lied to you and I'm sorry that I couldn't make this month better, but Sora, listen, I truly do mean it when I say that I love you."

Sora's heart panged yet again. His gaze searched Riku's for any sign of betrayal—he found none. "You only told me about your deception when I called you out for being dead," he pointed out with an exhale.

"I know…" Riku trailed off some. "I figured that if you didn't know that I was dead you'd be happier. You wouldn't have to deal with the grief and all that shit of having someone close to you die. Then again, that was a bit stupid of me to think. I don't know, Sora. I was afraid to tell you."

"I doubt that you were afraid," the brunet stated quietly, his face growing warm in Riku's hands.

"All right, I was a coward who just wanted both of us to go to Heaven. I was going to explain everything to you there," the silveret assured with a weak smile. "And you probably think I'm pulling that lie out of my ass, huh?" Nod. "I know, it sounds really deceptive and blameworthy."

Sora closed his eyes. "I probably look like a bipolar brat in your eyes, huh?"

"Fickle, maybe, but definitely not a brat," Riku stated and then winced some. "Okay, so I called you a brat a few minutes ago because I was upset that you just randomly started yelling at me. I didn't mean it."

Sora leaned his head back some. "You don't mean a lot of things you say, huh?" It was meant to be rhetorical.

Riku chose not to answer this. The angel reached down and took Sora's hand again. His fingers traced the small ring and relished in the way it fit Sora's finger so perfectly. A perfect match—Sora had always loved silver. "It looks good on you, you know. I just wish it could have meant more."

Sora cracked open a wary eye. "Huh?"

"No, not like that," the silveret assured, "I meant that I wish I could have gotten it for you and had you accept it all dramatically. Like…I don't know. It's hard to explain, Sora. I wanted us to be best friends again. Before I went on my ego trip and ended us up here. I wanted you to smile when you saw me and blush at every little thing I did. Sora, I wanted the old times back and when I gave you that, I was hoping that we could revert. I was wrong. I was being idealistic, again."

"I'd say that that's your tragic flaw," Sora mumbled and closed his eyes again. His hand tingled in Riku's hold—his heart was winning the war again. "You care too much."

"So what? I'm a tragic hero now?" Riku questioned as he interlaced their fingers cautiously. When Sora did not pull his hand away, he took this as a sign to keep their digits tightly locked.

"Or you're just a villain," Sora hummed drowsily and rolled on his side to get more comfortable. "Haven't decided yet."

"A villain? Sora, that's kind of harsh," Riku said and squeezed the brunet's hand. It felt so right, so perfect. He wanted perfection—he wanted Sora to truly forgive him. "Does that mean you're the hero in this epic tale?"

Sora opened his eyes and watched Riku's soft expression. "I don't know."

Riku smirked. "Oh well." He paused and watched Sora for a long moment. "Would you object to me kissing you? I know it's kind of odd that I have to ask to kiss you after we've kissed a million times and had sex, but you're really odd lately with your constant mood swings so I felt that perhaps it would be best if I just asked." Long-winded rant.

"You're so odd," Sora murmured and shook his head. "Just kiss me. It won't hurt anything."

Ouch. "I don't want to kiss you if you don't want to," Riku retorted with a rare scrunched nose—he appeared rather appalled. "Geez, did sex make you that squeamish of me?"

Sora laughed quietly under his breath. No, what I'm going to do tonight has made this way. If I wasn't leaving, I probably would, regretfully, be all over you right now. But I can't. I can't let my heart run wild. If I show you that I love you, that I really do love you, it'll only hurt us in the end. So if I just lie to both of us and keep us on an uneasy level, then things will be better. I hope. Oh Riku, please don't look at me like that. You wouldn't understand how taxing this is on me.

"Sora? You look really…sad," Riku whispered after a long moment.

"I…do?" the brunet asked with slight surprise.

"Yeah. You look like you're about to cry," he noted.

Sora hadn't noticed the small tear that leaked down his face. "Had something in my eye," he mumbled and lifted his free hand to rub at his eyes. He sighed dejectedly under his breath. Stupid emotions.

"Right…" Riku didn't press the matter—he had already messed up far too much this morning. Sora was becoming more distant and he couldn't help but blame himself. After all, why else would Sora suddenly despise him this much?

Perhaps sex wasn't the answer after all.

xxx X xxx

Sora didn't have the heart to go and visit Leon and Axel before he left Earth once and for all. Instead, the brunet slipped away midday while Riku was asleep in his bed—apparently he was still worn out from the night before, go figure. Regardless, Sora ended up wandering down to Starbucks for the last time with his notebook and pen in hand. He was going to write a letter to both his brother and Axel, slip them under their doors, and then depart. True, it wasn't the kindest and most respectful way to leave, but he couldn't bear to see their expressions when they knew that this was the last time they'd see Sora. In fact, it'd be like watching the ones you love witness your death. It was disturbing.

Sora ordered a drink and took a seat at the table. The smell of coffee filled his senses and he committed everything about the rich scent to memory. He had to remember this as well as everything else on earth. The brunet proceeded to uncap his pen and begin to write.

Leon,

There's so much I want to tell you, and so little time to collect my thoughts. I know that this letter is going to come out incoherent and repetitive, but I just feel that I have to get my thoughts out before I leave. I'm heading back to Heaven, tonight, and I'm not coming back. I've finally realized that the only way to keep myself from getting hurt is just to leave. I don't want Riku to fall in love with me more than he already has. I have to push him away from me. I care about him too much, despite all that he has done.

If you're wondering, things between us hasn't been a fairytale. Yeah, Riku killed me…yeah Riku is an angel…yeah Riku lied to me, and yeah, Riku did pretty unspeakable things. But Riku's Riku. I know you never liked him as a child, but you must have found something good in him to date him. He saved you, Leon. He was your guardian angel. He must not be all bad, right?

Leon, please don't be angry at Riku. I haven't completely forgiven him for lying to me constantly, but I'm starting to. I haven't forgiven him for killing me, either, but I'm getting over it. It feels so weird, though, to be writing about your own death and then to kiss your killer. I feel like a messed up zombie with no sense of morality. It hurts to me to say this but, perhaps, I'm just a lovesick boy that can't get over Riku. Yeah, that's probably it.

Leon, when I go back to Heaven, I'll find Mom and Dad. I'll tell them that you're doing all right and that you love them. I'm sure they're doing okay, and I'm sure they're in Heaven. They were truly wonderful people. And Cloud. I'll relay your message to him.

You know, he always used to talk about you. He refused to get into detail when I asked about when he was alive, but he just said that you mattered a lot to him. Then again, aren't cousins supposed to, regardless of the fact that they're not blood-related? I don't know. I could only assume. I love Cloud like a cousin, too. He's been so good to me in Heaven, you have no idea. I was so scared.

Anyway, I don't want this to be too long…Leon, I hope I haven't disappointed you. I would have done this in person but I don't want you to see me cry. I don't want you to have to see me metaphorically die. I love you so much and you're the best brother. Ever.

And please, don't tell Riku what I've done—I'm going to Heaven to assure his place there. Why? I don't really know…all I know is that I just want to go back. All I know is that I can't be around Riku any longer. Oh…and please don't be upset with him for the things we did, either. I'd…go into detail but I doubt you want to hear that.

Anyway, to make a long story short…I love you Leon and I hope to see you sometime soon. Not too soon, though, because I want you to live your life fully. I'm going to miss you so much and I'm glad that this time I was able to give a proper goodbye. So, I'll see you around sometime, Leon. I love you.

Love always,

Sora.

Sora fought back a few tears as he finished the letter and closed his eyes. His heart ached and he held his breath for a few moments to regulate his breathing. It was so hard to write these things. He didn't want to leave, but yet at the same time he knew he had to. The brunet shifted uneasily in his seat and flipped the page.

"Axel's is going to be worse," he murmured as his pen tapped idly against the paper. He had so much to say to the redhead, and yet, he didn't know what to say. It took him a long moment of staring off into space before an introduction struck him. With a deep breath, he began writing.

Axel,

Now I know what you're thinking, this is Sora's handwriting. Well, yeah, it is. And I know that you hate letters, but please, pay heed to this one.

Axel, I don't know how to begin this. I don't want to say goodbye but I have to. I don't know what to tell you. I guess I should just start with what happened over this month, I suppose. It's not fair to leave you confused. So I'm going to bite back my pride and explain everything, no matter how much it hurts.

When we kissed the first time, I was scared. It was my first kiss. I was mad and upset, deep down. I had always dreamt that my first kiss would be with Riku, you know? And I just was upset that you stole that from him and I. I'm sorry for that, Axel. I was selfish. The second time we kissed, well…I thought I felt something. It felt so good. I don't know how to explain it. It felt like someone cared. Perhaps that's what I liked about it—the passion. Riku's kisses before that were platonic…it wasn't until Riku kissed me after our second random kissing adventure that I realized what I felt with you couldn't compare to him. I know that sounds mean but…it's true.

You were my best friend, really, growing up. I can't explain to you how grateful I am to have had you. You were the only person that cared, other than Leon and my parents. Riku was a jerk to me for so long and you kept me holding my head up high. Thank you.

Seeing you for one last time this month has been amazing. We've been able to sort out our feelings and say goodbye for real. Axel…I hope you find someone that's perfect with you. You're an amazing guy—just not the guy for me. I hope you find someone that makes you so, so, so happy. And when you get old and get gray hairs and die, I want you to tell me every single detail when you come to Heaven. Don't worry, you'll come here. You're too amazing not to.

So I suppose this is our final goodbye. Axel, I'm so sorry I couldn't say this to your face. I'm sorry that I'm leaving so soon but I have to. It's just something I have to do. Please respect that. I'll never forget you. You've done so much and I just…can't let that go. I hope you have a great life and I'll see you sometime in the future.

Your best friend,
Sora.

When Sora reached the end of his letter, he felt himself choke back a sob. Why did this feel like he was never going to see them again? Technically, that was the case. And technically he was really writing a suicide note, but it felt so wrong and right that it scared him. The brunet angel closed his eyes and allowed his body to tremble on its own accord. He'd have to deliver the letters before dusk.

He got up and looked at the Starbucks one last time. This was where he and Riku had flirted, had smiled, had fought, and had fun. He inhaled the scent one last time before leaving through the double-doors, promising himself that he would never forget that Starbucks.

xxx X xxx

"I never got to kiss him goodbye…"

Sora's heart dropped and he stood in the empty hall of Heaven. Dusk had come far too early and he had returned to Heaven. No one had spoken to him since he arrived and he wasn't in the mood to complain. The brunet remained by the window to the outside world, staring down at his home with a frown and a few tears. It was then when he realized that he hadn't told Riku goodbye. He hadn't written Riku a letter or kissed him goodbye or done anything. Riku knew nothing. Riku would be the last one to know that he would be gone forever. His heart clenched and he instantly regretted having tried to push Riku away. His mind began laughing at his heart and it bled profusely in response.

"Sora, we'll see you now."

A small, stoic, female angel ushered Sora down the hall and into the familiar office he had been in one month ago. The brunet entered quickly and shut the door behind him. He met the gaze of the angel who had sent him on this death mission. He didn't know what to say. Disappointment remained dark in the angel's eyes as he surveyed Sora.

"You gave up?" the black-haired angel asked and pointed at the chair.

Sora sat obediently. "There was no point. He was dead. He didn't need saving."

"And what gave you that preposterous idea?" the angel demanded with a groan. He leaned back in his seat and propped up his feet on the desk. He took in a deep, deep breath, before tossing Sora the file about Riku.

"If you had read that, kid, you would have seen, right at the bottom, that Riku Karada was listed as dead."

Sora's heart dropped. "It was…it was here all along?"

"Yup," the angel answered and eyed Sora curiously. "In fact, everything you needed to know was on that little folder from the start. I don't know why you didn't read it over thoroughly. Oh well, it's over now." He snatched it back and placed it on the spot on the desk before him. "Now, about saving Riku…just because he was dead doesn't mean you couldn't save him."

"Save him from what?" Sora stated, confusion filling in his mind.

"From going to the incinerator," the angel explained simply. "You see, we didn't know where to place Riku. He had traits of both an angel and a devil. We put him to the test and made him save your brother. He passed with flying colors, but we needed to make certain he was worthy. So we assigned him the task of you."

"Of manipulating me?" Sora demanded, his heart breaking. He had gotten this all wrong, hadn't he?

"That's what we told him," the angel nodded and frowned at Sora. "But I'm surprised neither of you caught on. Trickery is more so something the incinerator conveys, not Heaven." He tapped the folder some.

"Wait…"

The glasses-wearing man watched Sora. "Yes?"

"…I was supposed to show him that you were testing his morals and how good a person was…and the only way for him to pass was to realize that it was a trick and that he could never manipulate me. I had to convince him that the only way to save himself was to tell you guys he couldn't do it?"

The angel nodded.

Sora's heart dropped and he felt sick.

I just completely fucked up this entire thing…

xxx X xxx

Riku had been sleeping one moment, and the next he was laying on some uncomfortable marble floor. The silveret twitched awake and snapped up. Hard floor? Sora didn't have hard floor in his apartment. The angel sat up and opened his eyes. He paled tremendously when his gaze met another. It's that damn angel again. Wait… Riku spun his head around a few times. He was back in Heaven? What? Had he failed? Riku's heart broke and he scrambled to his feet. A laugh was heard and that was when Riku realized he had only a loosely fitting sheet on around his waist.

He gulped and pulled it tight around his body. "Why am I here?" he demanded harshly. "Where's Sora? What did you do to him?" he demanded of the familiar angel.

The red-haired man laughed some. "Oh Riku, you jump to conclusions so quickly. We didn't do anything. Oh the contrary. Sora resigned," the redhead explained with a nonchalantly look. He pointed at a chair and gestured relentlessly for Riku to sit. He finally got the idea.

"Where's Sora?" Riku repeated, not really caring. "God damnit, where is he?!"

"Calm your horses," the angel urged and surveyed the silveret for a moment. "Judging by the marks on your neck and shoulders I can only assume you and Sora hit it off pretty well, hm?"

Riku glared. "What Sora and I did doesn't pertain to this conversation."

"I think it does. I mean, he's the reason you're going to the incinerator, after all," the redhead cooed and laced his hands under his chin. "He gave up and now you're going to suffer because you couldn't trick him into loving you. That's a bit disheartening for such a strong person as yourself."

"I didn't want to hurt him," Riku stated defensively. "At the beginning…maybe. But Sora, I just got reunited with him and I couldn't keep from going against what I was supposed to be doing. I'm sorry that I fell in love with him. It was inevitable. He hates me now, I'm certain of that, and now I'm going to the incinerator. I will go, gladly, if you promise me that Sora stays here. Please, let Sora stay here. I never meant to hurt him…"

The angel eyed Riku. "You really are verbose. This is your last chance. Admit that you manipulated him and you'll be saved."

"Is that all you have to say?!" Riku spat and felt his anger boiling. "Whatever, fuck this. You can keep your damn job. I'm not going to trick Sora anymore. I love him and I don't care what punishment I get. If manipulating Sora is what your job calls for, then maybe I don't want to be in Heaven after all."

"You killed him," the male pointed out, giving a gentle strumming of his fingers against the desk.

"I know," Riku stated sternly, eying the other man. "I know that and I take full reasonability now. I'm not going to deny that I was the one who took a part in Sora's death—who caused it."

"And you do know that you selfishly committed suicide because you were too weak to cope with everything," the angel continued with a nonchalantly expression. "You did many horrible things, Riku."

"I'm fully aware of that. I was a horrible person. I've learned my lesson, thanks to Sora," the silveret breathed. "I've hurt him and I'm willing to embrace Hell if it means gaining Sora's forgiveness, his sincere forgiveness, once and for all."

The angel paused and then smiled. "Very good."

"Huh?" Riku's fists clenched by his sides. "Stop patronizing me!"

"I'm not," the angel assured and shook his head. "I was saying very good because you proved yourself true."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Riku was at his breaking point. He had lost Sora and now he was going to go to Hell. How could he be happy about this? Oh, and he was partly naked, too. That was always a bad thing.

"Don't question things," the angel pressed and began sorting things together on his desk. "I've evaluated all the things that you've done and came to a decision. Simple as that. And my decision was good. I don't feel like elaborating."

"Then tell me this," Riku gritted out, leaning expectantly. "Will Sora be safe? Will Sora have to suffer?"

The redhead, Reno, arched a brow. "You really that concerned about the boy that you would give up Heaven for him?"

"Yes," Riku breathed almost desperately. "I've give up anything, damnit."

Reno smirked some and closed all the open files on his desk. "Good job."

"Not this again," Riku groaned at the vague statement.

"You've succeeded, in other words. Good job," the redhead stated and got to his feet. "Go down four levels and take the 4A hallway. Continue down that way until you get to a door. It's 33AB."

"Why? Is that the entrance to hell?..."

"Just go there," the male scoffed and collected his things.

"Do you promise that Sora will be safe?" Riku stated as he looked harshly at Reno. His eyes shimmered as he tried to figure out just what he had succeeded in. Perhaps they were going to go easy on him in Hell because he admitted and embraced his sins. Maybe he wouldn't get the full hellfire that way. That was always a nice gesture.

"Promise," Reno stated and then leaned his hands down onto his desk. "Now just go to the damn room already, kid. You're giving me a migraine," the angel stated and nudged his head towards the door.

Riku sighed miserably and got to his feet. He had failed. He had fucking failed. Yet why were they saying that he succeeded? This made no sense. He was so damn confused. All he wanted was Sora, Sora, but at least he guaranteed Sora's safety. At least, at last, he had finally made a good choice. He had saved Sora from Hell.

xxx X xxx

Sora felt his heart stop when he was reunited with Cloud. The brunet charged towards his cousin and greedily wrapped his arms around the blond. He openly cried and whispered everything that had happened. All the heartache, all the confusion, and all the drama. He left nothing out. Not one thing. He didn't stop talking for nearly an hour, it felt, and he couldn't keep his mind from spinning. He was back in Heaven with Cloud and he oddly felt safe again. New York City was an unforgiving city, after all. Yes, he felt safe now, but he felt empty. He had left part of his heart in the city. And as he stood there, pouring his heart out to Cloud, he realized in that brief moment, the winner of the battle. His mind was a traitor.

He loved Riku.

Cloud attempted to console him but it was working to no avail. Sora just sat there, flipping through old photographs of their earlier lives—back on Earth. The brunet sighed some and leaned his chin into his hands. "All these pictures somehow remind me of Riku."

"It's because you love him," Cloud explained, looking to the younger. "When you love someone, you see them everywhere—in the stars, the moon, the sea, and the faces of the ones around you. You see them in everyday life and in forgotten memories. That's love, Sora."

Sora sighed some. "He's going to Hell, though. There's no point in loving a damned soul…"

"Don't say that," Cloud murmured and walked over, clasping his hand onto Sora's shoulder. "Just because he's going to Hell doesn't mean you have to lose him less. He's still the teen you fell in love with, correct?" Nod. "See?"

"But it's…just so messed up…"

Cloud murmured something to himself before stating, "And you don't think I had a messed up love?"

"I failed to save the one I loved. I died. I'm in Heaven and he's in Hell. Cloud, how more messed up can you get?" Sora felt guilty and broken down and just ironically betrayed. He sighed some before looking back down at the photos.

"Leon," he stated simply, looking to his cousin.

"Leon?"

"Yeah," Cloud answered and resumed walking around the apartment building in Heaven, as if he had something to attend to. Sora watched his cousin walk away and sat there in confusion. Leon? What did that have to do with his tragic love with Riku? What was Cloud getting it?

xxx X xxx

Riku, despite how much he wanted to bash the walls of Heaven in, followed the redhead's instructions and quietly traversed the halls of Heaven. It felt so odd to be back here after so long. His stomach rumbled and he walked down the designated hallway. He was going to end up alone for eternity because of a few bad choices. The silveret's stomach twisted and knotted and he wasn't sure anymore what to believe. Heaven had given him a second chance and he blew it entirely. How more pathetic could he be?

With a sigh, Riku got to the room he had been told about. Figuring that he should just be polite, that may he'd get a few brownie points, he knocked.

xxx X xxx

"I'll be right back," Cloud told Sora and left the room.

Sora nodded and sat down at the small table in their even smaller kitchen. The brunet closed his eyes and tried to imagine the smell of Starbucks again. Or the smell of alcohol on his first night back. Or the way Riku held him. Or the way Axel had stared at him so intently. Or how amazing it felt to be with Leon again. Or perhaps, just the city itself. But no matter how hard he tried to manifest these things, it didn't work. He was back in Heaven and he had to accept that.

But at least he wasn't the only one without their love here. Although Sora just…didn't understand the relationship Cloud had told him about involving he and Leon, he just knew that there was a great loss. Was Cloud's death the reason why Leon had changed so drastically? Sora didn't question Cloud too much on it. Their feelings for one another, no matter how forbidden, must have been true. Probably just as strong as he felt about Riku.

Sora groaned and closed his eyes. He missed Riku, a lot. He had pushed the other away so much that he was left with nothing now. His stomach sank and he just sat there, brimful of depression.

xxx X xxx

Riku didn't want to see what was behind the door. It was his death, his last stage of death, and he just knew it. He had lost this game and succeeded in becoming a member of Hell. And now he regretted even taking on the job. Anything would have been better than hurting Sora. Even the fiery flames of hell…

"I love you, Sora…I'm such a fucking idiot," he breathed, biting back tears.

xxx X xxx

Sora remained at the table for a long moment. All the days that had gone by kept replaying in his head over and over. He had failed in saving Riku. He should have realized what he had to do. And he should have read that folder over better than he did. And he should have kissed Riku goodbye and gods, he was filled with regrets. He messed up one of the best things in his life.

Tears leaked from Sora's eyes as his body convulsed. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he choked on his tears and sat there, feeling weak and defeated. "I'm so sorry…" he kept repeating as he hugged his arms tightly to his chest. "Riku, I love you," he whimpered and held his stomach. Why had been so stubborn and refused to accept that everything was true? Riku had given up a chance to be in heaven, in the end…

"Don't cry, Sora..."

Sora continued sobbing, ignoring the voice.

"Sora, please don't. It'll be okay, I promise you. Sora…"

Sora leaned back against the other and continued crying his eyes out. Now he didn't feel weak for crying—he felt worthless. He had caused so many people so much pain. He was never going to see Riku again and that was that. The brunet looked wearily up at Cloud through cloudy blue eyes. "How can you say that, Cloud? How can you promise me it'll be okay when…when the person I love is sentenced to eternal damnation?"

Cloud smiled sadly and didn't say anything for a moment. He let go of Sora.

"No I'm not."

Sora jolted off the chair and fell on the floor from the unexpected statement. The trembling angel shot up onto his knees and looked around the room in confusion. His gaze settled upon his smirking cousin and then finally a blanket-wearing Riku. His breath hitched and he just sat there, dumbfounded for a long moment.

"Now don't cry, it makes me feel bad when you do that," Riku stated and walked silently over to Sora. The silveret crouched down and then slid onto his knees as well. He pulled Sora close with one arm, supporting the towel with his other. It smelt like Earth. It smelt like all the smells Sora had attempted to recover when coming here.

"R-riku," Sora choked on his words and buried his face against the other's chest. His arms, for the first time, openly clung to the other. He cried and sobbed and hiccupped without end and kept close, refusing to break away.

"Ssh, I'm not going anywhere, I promise," Riku stated a bit weakly. His hand gave a soft stroke to Sora's back as he rested his chin to the top of Sora's head. He inhaled the familiar scent of the spikes.

"I thought you…you…"

"I told them I couldn't hurt you, Sora," Riku murmured quietly. "And I told them that nothing was worth seeing you hurt." He buried his face into Sora's hair, as if not believing it himself. "So I suppose…somehow, I'm here and you're here and no one has said anything about the incinerator and I think that maybe we both saved our asses?"

Sora smiled weakly at that statement and lifted his head some. He noticed a few tears streaming from Riku's eyes. "I forgive you," he decided at last. "You…you knew that and…and…" Sora couldn't speak anymore and instead clung.

"Shush, you're acting like a hormonal teenager," Riku joked, purposely using those words. He kissed Sora's forehead and smiled against the skin. "Sora, I love you, I really do. Do you believe me now?"

Sora nodded limply and stared up at Riku. "I'm sorry for having left without saying anything I just—"

"You don't have to explain. I understand now." He nodded some and sighed. "I know I screwed up a lot in my life, but of all the things I did wrong, you were my only right. In a vat full of wrong decisions, you were my only right," he whispered protectively. "And I'd give up anything just to see you smile. I missed that the most."

"Riku," Sora whispered simply and closed his eyes.

"Yeah?"

"We're here, in heaven, together," he stated and felt vertigo come on. "And it just doesn't seem possible and just…" Sora was about to continue but then felt a bit worse and before he could say anymore fell into a small sleep. He lay unconscious in Riku's arms, breathing simply.

"That happens sometimes when you make the jump from Earth to Heaven," Cloud noted quietly from across the room. "Take him to the bedroom and watch over him. I'm sure he'll wake up soon and want to be with you."

Riku nodded and then looked at Cloud for a long moment. "You were him, weren't you?"

"Him?" Cloud hummed, arching a brow.

"Leon's…The person Leon never got over," Riku stated carefully, his gaze meeting the blond's.

Cloud smiled a bit at that. "Really?..."

"He still loves you," Riku said quietly as he collected Sora in his arms, balancing his sheet all the while. He then began leading Sora down into the bedroom, careful not to drop the brunet or ram his own body into something along the way. The walk was short and Riku was more than thankful.

When they arrived, Riku carefully set Sora down onto the bed and lay down beside him. His fingers drifted adoringly into Sora's hair and the smile refused to lift. At last he had his best friend with him, and they were both forgiven, sincerely. Everything felt right. They were back in Heaven and had finally paid for their sins. Finally.

"We did it, kid," he stated and leaned down to lay soft kisses along Sora's face. "We somehow did it." His hand reached down and took Sora's left, interlacing their fingers. "I love you so much and I'm truly sorry for everything I did. I'll never leave you again. I'll never hurt you again. …Sleep well, my angel."

He leaned back and stared up at the ceiling. A larger smile appeared on his lips. All was right. "For when you awake, the beginning of the rest of our afterlives will begin…together."

...the end...

(:

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