For NoNoWriter who, at some point back then and at some time I forgot, managed to make me love doujinshi again -- or was one of the people who did so. (So then, the doujinshi I have can be attributed to her.)
Namikaze Minato had, miraculously enough, not died when he had sealed Kyuubi in his son.
Uzumaki Kushina hadn't died of childbirth or went away to seek enlightenment. Seriously, did she seem like the sort of person who'd go around seeking enlightenment?
The two of them had decided to live life in unmarried bliss. They both raised their son, Naruto, into the healthy nineteen-year-old that he was now.
A healthy nineteen-year-old that believed in "equal opportunity", but was currently hooked up on his teammate. His male teammate this time around.
Kushina was a bit disappointed that her son had gone decided to fall for an Uchiha. And everyone knew that, in Kushina's own words, Uchihas were nerds – pretty nerds at that – since they knew so many jutsu and were almost always the ones who got accelerated to a ninja level faster than anyone.
She didn't trust them at all. They all seemed like a bunch of evil, manipulative bastards to her.
The Uchiha clan representative's wife was a perfect example of an evil, manipulative bastard. Or bitch.
The woman seemed far too close to oblivious Minato.
"Look! She even has the same name as that evil woman in Recca! You know, the one who hides in this big-ass doll and tricks everyone and even killed this little boy's father!" Kushina said, hoping that her not-husband would understand her side.
Minato, the pansy that he was, merely chuckled and smiled. Kushina growled. Why was that man so trusting?
-
-
"Good morning, Namikaze-kun. Out grocery-shopping again?" Uchiha Mikoto asked, her melodious (not) voice filtering Kushina's ears.
Minato, despite being the Hokage, was usually the one who did the groceries for his family. Kushina just started tagging along with him when he started buying the wrong kind of ramen and when she found out that Minato and Mikoto bought groceries the very same day.
Kushina really thought that the Uchiha were up to something. Perhaps usurp the current Hokage.
Or maybe Kushina really was in denial about her jealousy.
And maybe it didn't help Naruto that the teammate he fancied was Mikoto's younger son.
Naruto had been depressed for ages.
Ages, in Kushina-talk, would be for a couple of hours since Naruto came home from his recent mission.
Kushina figured that maybe it had something to do with Uchiha.
Naruto usually only had that goofier aura around him whenever something happened with that Uchiha boy, good or bad.
And now, Naruto was at his goofiest yet. His blue eyes – they looked much like the blue eyes that she had not-fell-in-love-with-or-sorta – had considerably dimmed. His shoulders were a bit slumped. His smiles didn't seem as bright as they were before.
Kushina decided to ask Kakashi about it, being the responsible mother that she was. Or tried to be.
"What the hell's wrong with my son?" she asked.
"Sasuke's in the hospital," Kakashi answered just as bluntly as her. "Nearly got killed by Iwa-nin. Mikoto-san's raising hell in Jounin Room. What makes it worse is that she came back from an ANBU mission."
"Oh."
She really didn't have a lot of things to say. Uchiha or not, those people were still in the same village as they were. It was alright if she was concerned about the well-being of this Sasuke.
She went to where Naruto was moping about – it was the garden this time – and slapped the boy on the back. Hard. Naruto's eyes widened. Luckily enough, he was able to catch himself before he fell on the ground. He glared at his mother, his depression forgotten for a while.
"What the hell's wrong now?" he asked.
Rough and gruff, just the way she liked her son.
"Clean yourself up, Naruto," Kushina said, "and let's go and visit my future son-in-law!"
"What?!" Naruto squawked. Then he ferociously blushed. "Sasuke isn't your future son-in-law!"
"Who said I was talking about that Uchiha, boy. I might be talking about that Hyuuga-kid."
Hyuuga Neji had, indeed, just got sent to the hospital. Byakugan overuse, they said. Not to mention those wounds and broken bones, too.
"Neji?!" Naruto exclaimed.
Not that he didn't like Neji or anything. They just didn't... get along all that well. Everyone knew that.
"Just kidding around," Kushina said with a grin.
Naruto's right eyebrow twitched. Kushina's grin grew broad. Oh how she liked fluffing Naruto's feathers. She could never quite do that with Minato, seeing as the guy almost always seemed composed. If anything, it seemed as if he was the one who was pushing her buttons. Oh how she wished for some reciprocating on that matter.
"I don't find it funny," Naruto said with a pout.
Kushina ruffled his hair.
"Don't be like that," she said. "Now get yourself cleaned and we'll go and see your boyfriend."
"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" Naruto exclaimed.
"At least not yet," he said after a while.
He went back inside their house to get prepared. Kushina smiled at his back fondly. Now that was her Naruto.
When Naruto emerged from their house, Kushina resisted the urge to smack her forehead with her hand. Yes, that was definitely her Naruto. Kid didn't even know how to clean himself enough to make that boy that he liked be impressed. With her experience with Uchihas, Kushina had the idea that they liked prim and proper people. Or at least people who were smart and not in the street-wise way.
Kushina knew that her son was neither of those, so she thought that perhaps he would dress like one.
Unfortunately, Naruto was not as suave as Minato. He was, regrettably so, more blunt. Like Kushina. And that would not work with Uchihas.
"You haven't changed," Kushina said in a flat tone.
"What?" Naruto asked. "Was I supposed to grow a head?"
"No, you're supposed to impress this Uchiha-brat. You're not doing a great job right now."
"Sasuke'll like me all the same!"
"Uchiha folk are pretty choosy with physical appearances."
"Sasuke's not like them."
Kushina hit the roof of her mouth with her tongue.
"That's what they all say," she said. "It's hard when you're infatuated with an Uchiha. You become blind to everything."
"From experience?" Naruto asked.
It would seem rather funny if his mother had fallen in love with an Uchiha, too.
"From watching my teammates act even more like idiots in front of your Uchiha's mother," Kushina said.
Naruto could sense a hint of hatred in her voice. Perhaps she was jealous of Mikoto-san? That would be understandable. Sasuke's mother was unbelievably pretty. It wasn't as if Kushina herself wasn't pretty. But there was just something in Mikoto that made her seem more love-interest-worthy than Kushina. Kushina was, well, not at all that feminine; not the type of person that the men in Konoha would want. Mikoto, on the other hand, was probably everything that they could ever hope as she was strong, caring, gentle, and, yeah, very pretty.
Just like Sasuke himself. But like hell Naruto would tell Sasuke that he was pretty.
Sasuke didn't like being called pretty. Very much so.
"And I'm not jealous of that Mikoto," Kushina added after a while of silence.
"Sure," Naruto said. "Whatever. I didn't even say anything like that."
"Everyone else says so. And that better not be sarcasm, Naruto."
They began walking to where the hospital. While they were doing so, they talked about a lot of things. Or argued. It wasn't uncommon to see such a scene in the streets of Konoha.
"Why did you fall in love with him of all people?" Kushina asked. "Why not just stick to that Sakura-chan? She's pretty cute. Not to mention she's under Tsunade-sama."
She and Naruto were on a temporary ceasefire. They'd most likely continue when they got back home, under Minato's supervision.
"Sakura-chan already likes someone else – you know, Rock Lee, the guy who just got promoted to jounin a couple of days ago," Naruto said. "I'm already pretty lucky that she's moved from liking the teme. Besides, she doesn't go for people like me."
"Like that Rock Lee kid isn't like you," Kushina said with a snort.
"HEY! We're very different. He's energetic and polite. Sakura-chan says that I'm energetic and... not polite." Naruto was flailing around, as if his wild gesticulations would serve to prove his point.
"Yeah, yeah."
"You're supposed to believe me!"
"Oh, I believe you. Really, I do."
"Pops is so much better at this parent thing than you."
"Be thankful that you've got a kick-ass parent like me."
Kushina punched the air in front of her energetically. There was no doubt that Naruto was her son. Totally.
She would've remained being all cheerful if she hadn't felt anything when she punched the air.
"Uzumaki-san, I would advise you not to punch things at random," someone said.
It was Mikoto – what luck, Kushina thought – and she was holding Kushina's fist. She was wearing her jounin outfit. And she looked rather scary. Kushina thought that she must've just been back from the Jounin Room where Kakashi had said that she'd raised hell.
"Hello, Mikoto-san!" Naruto cheerfully greeted.
"Hell, Naruto-kun," Mikoto said. "Off to visit Sasuke?"
"Yes! Is he doing better now?"
"I think so. I'm sure that he'll be happy to see you."
Naruto grinned and blushed.
"I must be off now," Mikoto said. "A lot of housework and all."
She bowed at them before she started to briskly walk away. Kushina scowled. Uchiha Mikoto.
Naruto laughed.
"Don't be like that, mom!" he said.
"Don't be like what?" Kushina asked.
She very much seemed like the devil incarnate at that moment. Naruto nervously chuckled. He began walking. She followed suit.
"So, yeah, you were asking about Sasuke," Naruto said, trying to lighten the mood.
Naruto was horrible with changing the topic. Luckily, Kushina was, too.
"I'll stay right out here," Kushina said, "so that you can get some private time and all."
They were standing in front of room 201. The room where Uchiha Sasuke was confined in.
Naruto grinned at her.
Sometimes, Kushina could also be good at "the parent thing".
"Thanks... mom," he said.
"Sure thing, brat," Kushina said.
"You sound like Tsunade-baba."
Kushina's hands twitched. They itched for her kunai.
"Get inside there before I maul you," she said.
Naruto laughed. He opened the door, went inside the room, and then closed the door right behind him.
Kushina sighed and sat on one of the chairs outside the room. Her little boy was growing up even more. She blinked. And then slapped herself. Being reminiscent was a no-no. It was something only done by old people and she was no old geezer.
"Sasuke," Naruto whispered.
He went to Sasuke closer and knelt in front of the hospital bed. He clutched Sasuke's hand.
"I'm sorry," he said. "It's all my fault. I should've really kept my guard up like Sakura-chan said."
He was near tears by then.
He looked at Sasuke and examined that exquisite face. He sniffed. Then came the waterworks.
"I shouldn't have underestimated the enemy!" Naruto said. "Why do you always end up saving me? Why can't I save you? Why am I such an idiot?"
"Fuck you, Naruto," Sasuke said with a groan. "You're too noisy."
He opened his eyes and did his best to glare at his teammate.
"If you get snot on me, I'll never forgive you," he said.
"Sasuke, you idiot!" Naruto wailed.
"This is all your fault."
"Why did you save me if you'd end up blaming me in the end, huh?!"
"Because you're such an idiot you can't even save yourself. You said it yourself, too. And that's exactly why I don't let you save me, too. I can't trust my life to you if you can't even save your own."
"I thought you were dying!" Naruto was obviously trying to deviate the conversation from that topic as it would most likely prove that he wasn't as fulled with win and awesome as he had initially thought.
"You're too noisy. Shut up." Sasuke obviously knew what Naruto was trying to do and, wisely enough, had decided to just end the conversation. Dealing with a Naruto with a big head was a very taxing task. He wasn't sure if his pain-relieving pills would allow him such a luxury.
"You can't make me!"
Sasuke tuned him out.
"Don't ignore me!" Naruto exclaimed. "You're such an ass!"
Sasuke was now perfectly fine with giving Naruto the cold shoulder.
Kushina found their squabble really cute. If that was how they argued when they weren't still together, how about if they had gotten together? She then punched herself after thinking that. Minato's sappiness was pouring into her. Not good. At all. She would have to talk to him about that. Why couldn't he have just been a pervert like his teacher and that Kakashi – 'course, Kakashi becoming a perv had been a real surprise since the kid was uptight and all – brat that he'd taught once-upon-a-time? At least then, she'd be able to really relate to him.
"I'm really glad that you're alright," Naruto said out of nowhere.
Their argument would be resolved for now.
"Thanks for saving me," Naruto said, his voice sounding a bit hushed.
"It wasn't as if I could just let you get killed," Sasuke said, "because you're my friend."
"Only that?" Naruto asked in a light, joking tone.
Kushina knew that her son was very serious.
"We'll see," Sasuke said.
If there was one thing Kushina was sure of, it was that Uchiha sure knew how to tease.
OMAKE :
"A threesome!" Naruto exclaimed. "That's the last thing I'll ever want! I swear."
Sasuke snorted. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked away from Naruto.
"Please!" Naruto begged.
The frown on Sasuke's face deepened.
"Come on. It'll be fun, too," Naruto said. "I just know that you'll like it!"
Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed.
"... I could use a bunshin!" Naruto said after a few minutes of silence.
Sasuke looked at him, an eyebrow raised.
Naruto thought that perhaps Sasuke was a bit too much attached to his eyebrows. Then again, any sane person would want eyebrows like Sasuke. They were just perfect. Just like every other physical feature of the guy was.
"You don't know how lonely it is at the top!" Naruto whined.
He produced a bunshin who nodded as soon as it appeared.
Sasuke snorted. "If you want to take it up the ass that badly, we could just change places."
"NO!" Naruto and his bunshin shouted.
Sasuke had a thing for power and being in control. If he had those in their relationship, Naruto wasn't sure if he'd ever top again.
"Shut up, Naruto!" Kushina shouted from the living room. "I'm trying to beat your father at shougi!"
"Kids these days are really energetic, aren't they?" Minato asked with a smile.
"Oi! Wait! Don't put that there! MINATO!"
"Oh, I hadn't noticed. I'd already won."
"ONE MORE TIME!"
My first time making an omake! I hope that it was likable. Mmhm.
Happy Holidays to all, by the way!