Author's Gutter: I made this for Dual's Zemyx Sex Tour Challenge on Livejournal and decided to post it over here too. George of the Jungle. I freaking LOVE that movie. And this was a lot of fun.

Warnings: Language, sexual references/scenes and crack.

It had begun with the simplest of tasks really.

Xemnas had wheeled in a white board at noon as an introduction to the task that he would send The Cloaked Schemer and The Melodious Nocturne to investigate. Zexion hadn't expected it to go quite like this.

"Well now, we call this the act of mating…"

Zexion made a noticeable twitch with his visible eye at the diagram that Xemnas drew with a green Expo marker. Demyx leaned over his desk with child-like curiosity, his aquamarine eyes wide and his mouth agape.

Xemnas took a blue marker and proceeded to draw something akin to a pair of walnuts and a hot dog. Zexion sank lower in his seat. Demyx blinked and tilted his head. The Superior then took a pink marker and crafted an oval shaped crevice, much like the Sarlack from that Star Wars world. Zexion vaguely remembered fishing a stoned Xigbar out of that a few months ago.

Being a pale, peaky boy, the blush that was gracing Zexion's face was rather noticeable. "For the love of Kingdom Hearts, Number VI, show some decorum," Xemnas jeered pointing the pink marker at him before returning to his masterpiece. However, when Xemnas began to label certain parts of the drawings, Zexion found himself pulling his hood over his head in desperation.

While Xemnas continued scrawling away, Demyx looked over at Zexion and poked his shoulder. "Zexion?" He whispered. "What is it, Number IX?" the elder male hissed through the darkness of his hood.

"What's a vagina?"

Zexion couldn't hide the capsizing chair under a hood. The sudden crash sent a jolt through the superior as he whipped around, dropping his marker in the process. "Number VI, unless you'd like to accompany Number XIII and Number VIII to the Moulin Rouge, I suggest you pay attention to these diagrams and restrain yourself from destroying any more furniture."

With a murmur of apology, the indigo haired youth righted his chair and attempted to banish the image of Axel and Roxas doing dirty things at a brothel. Jabbing at the board with one of his light sabers, Xemnas said, "This, Number IX, is a vagina."

Demyx reacted with awe.

"This is where children with hearts come from. After a nine month interval, in which they grow from within the uterus of a woman, they burst through the placenta and are birthed with a cornucopia of blood." With each explanation, Xemnas indicated a new diagram, and with each explanation, Zexion felt his stomach heave.

"Superior, what's that?"

"That is a penis, Number IX."

"Ohh."

"You, Number VI, and I have one." Xemnas cast the grinning Demyx a long look before adding, "At least I hope so…"

It took the better half of an hour to explain the dirty details to the pair, but it certainly left Demyx with infinite questions and Zexion with an upset stomach.

"But there are several other very important differences between human beings and animals that you should know about."

"Yes sir." They replied in unison.

"That is why you and some of your fellow members will be taking a trip to-,"

"The Pride Lands," Demyx exclaimed with unadulterated excitement.

"No, Number IX, I have not forgotten your last mishap that occurred there. You will be visiting a place no man has ever entered, a place belonging to the elephant, the lion and the ape. A place known as the Bukuvu."

With that, Xemnas opened up a writhing amethyst corridor that beckoned at the two Nobodies with an almost seductive quality. "Do not fail me," He advised, taking the white board and wheeling it out of the room. "Shall we?" Demyx chimed, motioning to the portal with such enthusiasm that you almost wanted to take a grapefruit and shove it in his face. Hard.

"Let's get this over with," Zexion sighed, throwing his hood back and taking the five steps into the portal with Demyx in stride.

The first thing that Zexion noticed about this place was its smell.

It was a pungent earthy smell intermingled with various breeds of flora and topped off with an intense substantial helping of humidity. When the stark contrast of veiled sunlight began to adjust to the darkness that Zexion's eyes had became accustomed to, the Cloaked Schemer found himself standing in a damp clearing, alone.

"Demyx," He called, turning around so he could survey his surroundings. All he heard was the crisp replies of the thousands of insects that undoubtedly covered the jungle floor. Overheard, birds chorused and monkies chattered, but Zexion found no sounds that were remotely human. His brows knitted together, cursing that young fool for leaving him behind in the middle of the Bukuvu.

He didn't expect someone to answer him.

Taking a sidestep, Zexion's ears perked for the slight growl he heard from the edge of the clearing. "Demyx?" He called again, his acute nose picking up something that certainly did not smell like his partner's seaweed scent. When Zexion unleashed a soft sneeze, he knew exactly what his stalker was.

A roar sent him staggering backwards as a large feline leapt into the clearing, its muscles taut with suppressed tension. Zexion considered running, but mentally slapped himself for actually considering that he could outrun a LION. The beast bared its intimidating canines at him, its phosphorus yellow eyes following his tentative movements. It almost reminded him of…

"Saix?"

The lion growled low in its throat, the twin scars becoming more apparent as it stepped into a patch of sunlight. "Fuck. He had to be in Berserker mode." Zexion stepped backwards until his back connected with a conveniently placed rock wall. Saix advanced on him, and Zexion was running out of time to consider a plan.

"Ahhhhhh-aw-aw-aw-ahhh!"

It was then that Zexion took the time to ignore his peril and say, "What the hell?"

From the canopy, came a figure clutching onto a vine, and from what Zexion could see with his one eye, a…loincloth. Said figure promptly swooped down at our stupefied young Nobody and grabbed him around his waist before flying back into the branches with a victory screech.

Now, contrary to popular belief, being snagged around the waist by someone ROCKETING from a substantial height isn't all fun and games. It fucking hurts! It's like whiplash of the waist, and when you aren't prepared for it-well, Zexion sure wasn't.

"What the hell is your problem?" Zexion hissed at his savior, ready to grab the nearest poisonous serpent and wrap it around the nutter's face. "That was a close one!" Zexion was a fairly intelligent fellow and he recognizes a voice when he hears it, but accepting that the person who saved him from Saix's wrath was Demyx, was something that he had tremendous difficulty with.

Nevertheless, our wayward hero was preoccupied with trying not to fall to his death, and was thus grabbing hold of whatever he could get his hands on. What he had left to grab onto just happened to be Demyx's bare skin. The Nocturne grinned down at him, clearly proud of himself for his dramatic rescue. Too preoccupied to notice the tree they were heading for.

"Demyx-WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!"

Too late.

Using Zexion as a buffer to deter the impact may have not been the best idea. Demyx held the Schemer's suddenly limp body over his arm and peered down at his partner with horror. "Oops…"

Zexion dreamed a dream he most certainly did not want to dream. That's right, I said it.

"Would you like to come to the VIP room, Axel?"

"Oh, I'm not sure, Roxanne…What does VIP stand for?"

"How about Very Interesting Positions?"

"That sounds orgasmic…"

"Oh, it will."

As Axel dropped his pants, Zexion jolted awake.

"You're finally awake, I see."

Zexion turned in the bed and found himself staring face to face with a silver gorilla in an apron, carrying a plate of fruit and eggs. Needless to say, Zexion freaked. His reaction involved an array of shouts, a brandishing of his weapon and a moment in which he came awfully close to wetting his pants.

"Zex, you're awake!"

Expecting to see a hippo sitting across from him, he promptly flung a page of his book at the speaker, only to realize that it was Demyx. "Watch where you're throwing those things," He complained, giving his very befuddled comrade a pout. Zexion interchanged between casting looks at the ape in glasses and Demyx who had become a partial nudist.

"Would you mind explain what the hell is going on and why this beast is talking to me?"

"Zexion!" Demyx gasped, a hand coming to cover his mouth as he threw a petrified glance at the ape in question. "You shouldn't call the Superior a beast!" The young man slowly registered this, closely examining the gorilla who was wearing a monocle.

"Quite right, Number IX."

"My apologies, Superior, I did not recognize you!"

"It is understandable. I did not expect to be reduced to such a…provincial form." Xemnas gave himself a look over, shaking his hairy head and placing the tray down on the bed. "You may want to have Vexen take a look at that head of yours, Number XI." With that, he bent forward on his knuckled and left the two to their business.

"Are you feeling better, Zex?" The brunette asked, dropping a bushel of bananas near the door of what Zexion assumed to be a tree house. "Why are you dressed like that?" He inquired, looking Demyx up and down. He wasn't exactly pleased with the sensations the younger Nobody's exposed flesh was evoking in his lower body.

"I dunno. I was wearing it when we got here. I'm calling it a buttflap."

"I believe the proper term is loincloth."

"Loincloth shmoincloth!"

Zexion sighed, clutching his forehead and desperately wishing that the Aspirin Fairy would pay him a visit. "Demyx, are we permitted to head back to the castle now that the Superior is here." Once he was done fidgeting with his buttflap, Demyx shook his head. "No, I don't think so."

Zexion was none too thrilled about that. "But-here, come outside!" Without waiting for an answer, Zexion was dragged from the bed and brought into the open air. Below, about twelve feet below, was the jungle floor, where he noticed Xaldin and Xigbar polishing a pair of rather intimidating guns. Nearby, Xemnas was painting a portrait, and out of the corner of his eye, he noticed an elephant that vaguely resembled Lexeaus.

"Isn't this tree house cool?" Demyx asked him, motioning to the framework with a sweep of his arm. Unsure of what to say, Zexion replied, "Yes, it's rather impressive." After descending the stairs he approached Xemnas, in hopes that this mission may be alleviated. "Superior, what exactly are we trying to discover here?"

"I already informed you, did I not, Number VI?"

"Yes, but I am not fully sure of what you want us to do."

"Why don't you scout some more of the jungle and see if you can figure that out for yourself."

Gilded, Zexion moved back to confront Demyx, who was currently patting the Lexephant. "Who's a good boy, that's right, Lexeaus is." Seeing those two behaving in such a sickeningly sweet manner, well, it made Zexion want to bludgeon himself with his own book.

"We should scout the jungle, Demyx."

"Okay." Leaping over Lexeaus's back, he grinned down at Zexion who stood oblivious. "Well, why don't we ride?" Once again, the Schemer was jerked into a compromising position and was thrown into the jungle.

"So, Vexen, you do not have any understanding of what it is the Superior wants us to do?"

There was the snap of a beak.

Zexion still had some difficulty accepting that he was conversing with a freaking toucan. They had ridden Lexeaus across the span of the jungle and back, spotting the Keyblade Master once or twice as a small black and white monkey. It had been an experience they wouldn't soon forget, that was for sure.

"Zexion?"

"Yes, Demyx?"

"I was thinking…"

"Yes?"

"Well, remember what happened in Neverland?"

"How could I forget?" Zexion replied, a slight smirk creeping over his face at the thought of that fateful night. He let his eyes roam over Demyx's body for a moment, relishing the thoughts that it brought back.

"Are we ever going to do that again?"

This was where things got complicated.

"I don't think so, Demyx." The youth sighed, averting his gaze from the Nocturne and focused on the motion of Lexeaus's footsteps. It wasn't that he regretted what they had done together, but he, being a sensible man, did fully know what it meant to him. He enjoyed it, yes, but the confusion for someone of his stature, for someone who needed to be in control, it was not something he wanted to experience again.

The loss of control and the wavering sensations he felt during those hours only perplexed him and left him wondering what they had done.

"Oh…"

He sensed the disappointment in his comrade's tone, but his first and primary concern had always been himself. He was the only one that he could trust. Putting that thought in the back of his mind, he decided to focus on what exactly his mission entailed.

--

"Axel?"

From the fireside, a pair of verdigris eyes focused on the younger Nobody's face. "What's up, Demyx?" He hoped that he didn't look at nervous as he felt, but it had Demyx twenty minutes to decide to ask Axel this question.

"I'm confused."

"Well, pull up a termite mound."

They sat in silence for a minute or so. Demyx was not sure how to initiate the conversation, really. "Look, Dem, if you aren't going to say anythi-"

"Axel, tell me how to make Zexion my mate."

Those words took a moment to sink in, but when they did, the redhead burst into a fit of laughter. "Your WHAT?" He choked out in between gasps. "My mate," Demyx frowned. "The Superior was telling us about animals and mating. And how they find a mate and they…" Demyx trailed off, a slight blush blossoming over his face.

"Fuck?"

Demyx nodded.

"So, you want ol' stick up his ass to be your…mate?"

"Isn't that what you and Roxas are?"

Axel pondered this, casting the stars above a pensive look. "I suppose you could say that." This prospect excited Demyx. "Yeah, I want Zexion and me to be like you and Roxas! How did you make Roxas your mate?"

Axel smirked, thinking back. "Oh, it was on the clocktower…"

"What did you do?"

"I just…," Axel made hand gestures, his brows knotting together as he tried to find a way to explain the art of mating. "I just, you know, made him want it!" Poor little Demyx was awfully confused.

"How'd you do that?"

Axel turned towards Demyx, watching the firelight catch his cheeks and considered his options. "It's not something you can explain. Here, let me just show you." Demyx watched the redhead move closer to him, until their noses were almost touching. "What am I supposed to be learning, Axel?"

"Shh…"

The blonde sitarist bit his lip when he felt the elder Nobody's hands begin to move over his susceptible body. It was not often that he had the chance to shed the black robes, and he had to admit, that the feel of skin made him react in bizarre ways. "That's right," Axel breathed, letting his fingertips roam over the wavering male's body. "Axel," Demyx began, but was silenced when the roaming fingers dropped to the flimsy fabric of the loincloth.

He inhaled sharply.

"You see. You need to make him want it. Tease him," Axel advised, continuing to fondle the slowly forming bulge beneath the animal skin. "H-how?" Axel chuckled, "Just like this, idiot. You've got a body, don't you? Flaunt it." It was when Demyx came dangerously close to his friend's lips did he notice someone standing on the other side of the fire.

"What the fuck!?"

The two sprang apart as Roxas shrieked, throwing them accusing glares before stomping in the direction of the jungle. "Shit," Axel cursed, jumping to his feet to follow the young blonde. "Baby, wait, it wasn't like-Roxas, put down the snake!"

The fact that he spurred such disarray between Axel and Roxas bothered Demyx of course, but he was too concerned about his new mission. Grinning, he headed towards the tree house where he knew Zexion was very much alone.

--

The Cloaked Schemer had been browsing the limited library the tree house had to offer, when he noticed the figure in the doorway. "Demyx?" He inquired. Shadowed by the overhanging branches, Zexion watched with curiosity as Demyx moved closer, sashaying his hips from left to right.

"What do you think you-,"

"Shh.." He placed a finger over his partner's lips, letting the whisper fill the remaining gap between their bodies. Zexion hesitated from backing up when he felt Demyx's suddenly bold hand trace a path over the front of his jeans. "Demyx-," He cut himself off once the younger body had pressed against him, moving in slow gyrating motions.

"Don't you want me?"

Zexion frowned when Demyx tried to fight back against his protesting hands. He did not like this at all. "Demyx, stop it!" He snapped, pushing the blonde away. He certainly was not prepared for the shock and dare he say, hurt on the younger's face.

"Demyx, what is-,"

When the Nobody bolted, Zexion found himself following.

"Demyx, I said, wait!"

They had been running through the jungle for five minutes. Demyx's profession of running away from things had sure come in handy, but he also very submissive, something that eventually took a toll on his escape.

"What are you doing?" His ice blue eyes flashed through the darkness, searching for the face that was being hidden. "Running, what does it look like?" Zexion glared. He did not like this Demyx, not at all.

"I noticed that. I'm talking about that spectacle back at the tree house."

"…Nothing."

"Demyx, you are insulting my intelligence if you are going to tell me that charade was nothing."

"I said it was nothing!" Demyx snapped, whirling around to stare down his desired, wishing he had never thought of this crazy scheme. Seeing the ferocity in those aqua eyes sent a familiar tremor down Zexion's spine and before he knew it, he was upon the younger Nobody, their lips locked.

The Cloaked Schemer tugged at the blonde's poor excuse for undergarments excruciatingly slowly, whispering against faintly trembling lips, "I think you should let me relieve you of that tackly loincloth..." A smirk touched the Schemer's devilish features as Demyx grumbled softly and swatted at Zexion's tantalizing fingers.

"No..." The blonde protested quietly, averting anxious azure eyes, that tingling feeling beginning to pool at the base of his stomach. Zexion tugged off his own shirt and proceeded to back his counterpart up against a tree.

Indigo hair so seductively draped over the elder's eyes sent Demyx into a fit of desire; he wanted to run his fingers through that hair again. Zexion's eyes were at half mast, lidded with lust, the, dare he say, emotion he had been craving for. Zexion moved fluidly, trailing fiery kisses along Demyx's shoulder blade, pausing to suck and nip at his exposed throat. He found his hands trembling upon his partner's shoulders, emitting a gasp when Zexion trailed his tongue along the length of his throat. Demyx grunted at the flicker of memory that he was supposed to be the one teasing Zexion.

At this point, it didn't matter. He wanted more of that delicious ecstasy, and he threw back his head to allow Zexion greater access. When Zexion bit softly on the trembling boy's Adam's Apple, Demyx liberated the first groan that had been building inside him for so long. They kissed again, tongues trailing over each other, battling for dominance. Demyx's hips bucked against the contact. He wanted more. The Nocturne panted slightly as his friend found one of his sensitive nubs with an impish hand.

Smirking devilishly, Zexion ran a nail over the quickly hardening nipple before catching it between his thumb and index finger. Demyx was fighting to cage the groan that was building within him. The devious Schemer grinned, inclining over the quavering body until his mouth closed over the neglected rosy nub, continuing to fondle it's partner with his fingers. Demyx stiffened, a whimper falling from his lips as Zexion teased and bit down on the responsive receptor.

"Zexion," He murmured, fidgeting when the Nobody dropped his hand to slip beneath the fabric of the loincloth. A two syllable moan that increased in pitch sprang from Demyx's throat as a cool hand closed around his pulsating erection.

"Well done, Number VI, Number IX."

The two shouted, jerking apart, frantically covering their exposed bodies.

"You've completed your mission," Xemnas said from above, his nose was dripping profuse amounts of blood, they noticed before he hightailed it out of there. Demyx and Zexion exchanged looks once The Superior was gone.

"I say we continue," Demyx grinned.

Zexion moved forward, seizing the blonde by the hip and muttering, "I appreciate your input."

"No, I'll leave that up to you."

Author's Gutter: Yeah, I decided to cut out the smut, it would ruin the flow of the story, I think. But if enough people request it, then I'll post it up here so you can all bask in it's naughtiness. I hope you enjoyed this!

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