Summary-

Sasuke and Itachi, once again, visit the Konoha Mating Center in (Kakashi's) hopes of finding a mate. For the past 2 years (even more for Itachi) neither one found anyone they considered worthy to be their life mate. When they come across two unwilling foxes will their opinion change?

Couplings: Sasunaru, ItaKyuu, etc.

Ages: Sasuke-15 Naruto-14 Itachi- 20 Kyuubi-18 etc.

"Please, you two… I'm begging you guys to find someone screwable!" Kakashi cried, flailing his arms at two certain Uchihas. Itachi and Sasuke to be precise.

Uchiha Itachi, champion of the Senior Class of the Konoha Pet Shows, was leaning against one of the mating centers (modeled like a mini-hotel) tan, flower wallpaper print walls. His deep red eyes showed no interest in the hoard of female animal hybrids walking down the hall, giggling and looking toward his direction. His long dark hair was in a loose ponytail, tied at the base of his neck. His black leopard ears, with red spots, that eerily reminded people of blood splatters, sat on his head, a matching tail swishing lazily behind him. He was dressed in a red dress shirt, all but two middle buttons undone and a black sleeveless, muscle shirt underneath a pair of black cargo pants hung lowly on his hips, causing the ladies to swoon.

Uchiha Sasuke, champion of the Junior Class of Konoha Pets Shows, sat next to his brother on the ground, busying himself with a video game on his Nintendo DS Light. His hair was shorter and in a style that reminded Kakashi of duck's ass. His dark eyes narrowed at a figure on the screen. Black ears, like his brother's, twitching slightly, his tail curling in displeasure as Dingodile managed to hit Crash with a torpedo. "Cheeky little bastard…" he muttered, pushing a series of buttons, his head angling lower. He wasn't as "well dressed" as Itachi, simply in a black dress shirt and off white jeans.

However both of them had one thing they both knew was a distinct possibility; they could've been asexual...

Kakashi sighed "Come on… at least screw someone, your prize money from the Shows isn't enough to keep us going forever… what if you guys lose?" He sweatdropped as Sasuke and Itachi stared at him as if the world supply of salmon had just disappeared-which would have been very scary- or something on that level, maybe a cod roe crisis. "You never know…" he murmured, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"Kakashi!" a excited voice called out. Kakashi turned behind him to see Asuma running towards him.

"Ah, hey, Asuma…" he greeted, turning to face the man.

"Hey! So Sasuke-kun, ready to mate with my Ino?" he chuckled when the younger leopard stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Heh, heh… guess not… still heard these two punks haven't bedded someone, yet." He grinned at Kakashi look of despair. "Anyway, thought I'd tell you… Iruka's back; with Kyuubi and another fox!" he added excitedly.

Kakashi stared at Asuma "I-Iruka?" he stuttered.

Itachi snorted, Sasuke looked up at Itachi "Who's Iruka?"

Itachi chuckled "Kakashi's mate, he went to the States, he left abruptly because, Kakashi had sex with him, only our owner, oh-so-smartly used alcohol to get some." Sasuke snickered.

Kakashi glared "Better than being shot down, like Kyuubi-kun did with you." He returned the dark look Itachi gave him with a smile. "Who knows? Maybe Kyuubi-kun has yet to find a mate! Not to mention this new fox Iruka's brought along for the ride."

"Better hurry…" Asuma warned "When I left, Temari and a few others were already advancing on Iruka, talking about a mating session with his foxes."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed "Not in my life!" 'Which may end the second Iruka sees me…' he added silently to himself, trying to keep from shaking.

Itachi smirked 'A second chance with Kyuubi? Interesting…'

Kyuubi no Kistune hissed at Shuukaku "Fuck off!" he snarled, baring his teeth.

"Oh? Don't mind if I d-SHIT! YOU BITCH!" Kyuubi watched in satisfaction as the raccoon went down, cradling his family jewels.

He sighed, in the seven years he'd been in America his hair had grown down to his mid-back, he would have let the blood-red locks flow loosely, but he knew that would only help any of the horny pets in here by grabbing him by his hair and dragging him onto the nearest flat surface, like the floor, walls, table, etc. So he went with a bun, held up in silver ornate chopsticks with small ruby foxes dangling from the ends of tiny chains.

His red slitted eyes glanced at the crumpled form of his latest attacker, he snorted. 'As if I'd let anyone as weak as him have their way with me…' surprisingly the fox was submissive-Lord knows why- and he refused to let anyone weaker than him touch him, except his loved ones (not that he'd consider Iruka weaker), groomers, vet, and a few others.

His red fox ears sat proudly on his head. He was dressed in a Chinese-style top of black silk and silver lacing, long flowing sleeves covering his slim arms, an oriental fan in his hand. Matching flared pants covered his legs. Nine tails waved absentmindedly as he weaved through the crowd (It took real skill to have that many tails in check in a crowd like that) a few pairs of mated pets smiled at him, he returned the smiles with a few of his own, secretly envious of their abilities to love one another. He was well aware of the other pets staring at him with mixes of envy, awe and lust.

He came up to the table where his little brother sat, clinging to his owner's side.

"Noo..! Iruka! I don't wanna mate with anyone yet!" Naruto cried, in tears. His blonde fluffy ears hung limply as he eyed Gaara, Shuukaku's little brother, warily. His spiky blonde hair had attracted a lot of attention, almost as much as Kyuubi's blazing locks. His blue eyes glittered with unshed tears, three whisker marks cupped his cheeks, adding to the blonde's cuteness, and causing Kyuubi to fight the urge to pinch his cheeks whenever he saw his little brother.(1) Naruto had whined until Iruka had let him wear a sundress of all things to the Mating Party (where pets chatted a bit, hoping to find their life mates.) The white dress had a red ribbon going around Naruto's waist, the fabric hanging loosely down to his knees. The blonde's tails swarmed around him, curling around him slightly.

Kyuubi sighed, settling next to Naruto "No need to cry, Naru-chan." He pinched Naruto's cheek teasingly, before scratching his little brother behind his ears. He turned to Temari; Gaara and Shuukaku's owner "Not only is he weaker than me, he also couldn't wait till we found a room. I have requirements; my mate's got to be a good fuck (though not too rough), hot (looks wise), and quiet." He sipped the glass of water on their table.

"I wonder why you pointedly ignored me the first time we met, Kyuu-chan." Said redhead choked on his drink, almost spilling it. Only one person dared to call him that.

Itachi watched in amusement as Kyuubi looked up at him, eyes glinting dangerously. "Ita-chan"(2) he replied evenly, in the mood for 'Vampire Leopard'(3) Soup.

"Kakashi." Iruka greeted stiffly.

Kakashi chuckled nervously "Who knew someone could put so much, err… emotion in one word?" he sweatdropped as Iruka's glare intensified.

A dangerous silence passed until Sasuke, out of curiosity, turned to Naruto "Why the hell are you wearing a dress?"

Naruto blinked "Eh?"

1) In the actual series Itachi (when he's younger) always pokes Sasuke in the forehead, my friend's like: "Aww… but it'd be better if he pinched his cheek!" Me: "He's a soon-to-be-raving lunatic! He doesn't pinch cheeks!" So yeah, she gets her wish in the form of KyuuNaruness XD

2) Itachi? Ita-chan? Sound similar to anyone?

3)Because of the red spots of Itachi and Sasuke's fur, their breed's nickname is "Vampire Leopard"

May: giggle if I get enough reviews I promise an intense sex scene between Itachi and Kyuubi next chapter! XD

Kk: You should be worrying about your grades in Math and Biology…

May: The hell with school! I'll get back on task after break!