a/n: this is a spinoff of clairebear536's "Me and Mr. Jonas" and may reference to it occasionally. it is not necessarily a prerequisite to this story, but i wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who loves a great nick/miley fic!
X-X-X-X-X ::: Chapter 1: Your Shirt is on My Coffee
The problem with coffee was that it had caffein. The problem with Joe was that he didn't need any more caffein. It was therefore impossible to determine why on earth said Joe was in Starbuck's on one cold morning, getting coffee...iced coffee. It didn't faze him at all when the barista looked at him oddly when he ordered iced caramel macchiato, as she was clearly wondering why anyone would want anything iced when the temperatures had dropped to below 60 in a slightly unusual cold snap.
Joe looked at his watch as the barista took her time icing his coffee. He needed to be home soon, before his mother started wondering or Nick and Kevin stole his PlayStation. He gave a short jig and praised the coffee deity when his drink was finally ready, not even allowing the barista to call his name. Quick check left and right - no one saw it! Or...no one cared. He calmly sprinted over to Sugar Station, grabbing three packets and quickly emptying two into the cup, then half of the third. But what to do with the other half? He surely couldn't waste it! He had a sudden thought - he'd just take it home with him! Surely between four boys, two parents, and Yoko-freaking-Ono...wait, Miley. She was Miley now, not Yoko-freaking-Ono, and not because Joe's plans of how they were the next Beatles had a few holes in it.
He checked his watch again - gah, they were surely on the PlayStation now! He whipped out his phone, texting something along the lines of "There better be an open controller when I get home!", and walking towards the door. He leaned toward his cup, dumbly searching for the straw. But wait! The straw was with the lid! Back at the Sugar Station! BLAST! He did a quick about-face, ready to power walk back to get his lid and straw...
...But was interrupted by running into and spilling all of his coffee onto a (very pretty) blonde girl. They both stood, shocked, in the middle of Starbuck's, as ice and coffee made it's way...well, all over her torso.
"Oh..." she breathed. "That's cold."
Joe snapped back to reality. "OhmygoshohmygoshI'msoincrediblysorryIcanbesuchaklutzsometimeshereletmegrabanapkin-" he reached over, grabbing napkins from the container (and his straw-lid combination, which was right next to the dispenser). He had patted her stomach a couple times before realizing she probably didn't like being patted by strangers (even if her abs were impressivly hard), and handed her the pile of tissue, standing an arms length away. "I am so sorry." he said, still a little shocked and feeling a little nervous. Did her eyes have to be so blue?!
She graciously took the wad, dabbing at her camo shirt that had "SENIOR" blazed across it in bright orange. "Oh, it's alright. No worries." she said, giving a dazzling smile. Then they entered into the one thing Joe hated the most - an awkward silence. Well, she was cleaning her shirt. He was standing there...awkwardly. She glanced towards him a couple more times before he couldn't take it anymore.
"Well...this is awkward." he said. And, to his great relief, she laughed. After a moment, Joe started laughing as well.
"Ah, I'm sorry, awkward situations make me laugh." she said, then extended her hand. "I'm Olivia."
"I'm Joe." Joe responded, clasping her hand.
"By the way, I have to tell you that I'm just glad I'm not the only person who drinks iced drinks in the middle of the cold." Olivia said, holding up an iced drink that was a happy pink color.
"Some fruit juice thing?" Joe asked, looking at the color.
"Passion tea lemonade. Sounds much more impressive." she responded with an emphasizing nod, sending her wispy blonde bangs into her face.
"That seems to be the theme of this place. I mean, why call it coffee when you can call it...I don't know, caramel macchiato?"
"Is that what I now smell like? Caramel macchiato?"
"Well...yes. But it's a good smell, I think." Joe said with a grin. She laughed appreciatively and took a long sip of her drink.
"Ah, well as long as you approve, I suppose I don't mind." she responded, giving a (flirtatious) roll of her (pretty blue) eyes.
"Eh, what can I say?" Joe said with a shrug and a smirk.
"I mean, you haven't said how you're going to make this up to me." she pointed out, taking another long sip. His eyes widened.
"Oh, good point. What can I do to make this up to you?" he said, suddenly a little nervous again. PlayStation had been long forgotten. She laughed again.
"I'm just kidding, no worries. Why don't you just go and get yourself another coffee, and I'll hold that favor to you until a more opportune moment?" Olivia said, now chewing the straw.
"Are you implying that you intend to see me sometime besides now?" Joe responded lightly.
"Perhaps." she said, smiling. "Maybe when I'm not covered in coffee."
"Again, really sorry."
"Ah, me too. I keep rubbing it in - my bad." she said, waving her hand dismissively. "Anyway, I've got to inhale this real quick and get back home, kinda got something I need to get to." she said with an apologetic look.
"Here, I'll walk you to your car." Joe said, gesturing towards the door. Her look got even more apologetic.
"I kind of...ran here." she said. Joe slouched, realizing he probably should have noticed this. She was in a t-shirt and shorts, with underarmour and leggins underneath for the cold. Her only other accessory was the iPod on her upper arm.
"Ooh...rejected." he muttered. She put her hand on his wrist.
"Look, my thing ends at about four...would you want to hang out after that? Give or take an hour and a half so I can get cleaned up?" she asked. Joe's face lit up again.
"Sure! You wanna just come chill at mine, watch a movie or something? You can maybe meet my brothers, Nick and Kevin." he said. A twinkle in her eye suddenly told him that she SO knew who he was now. Joe kind of cringed away, waiting for the screaming and cursing the fact that there seemed to be a filter missing between his brain and his mouth. But she bit her lip and held herself to just bouncing on her toes a bit.
"I promise I won't freak out until I'm back home by myself. And that'll be the only time, kay?" she said, stopping the bouncing and adopting a look on her face that made her seem as if she was reassuring a small child.
"Wh-what makes you think I think you're about to freak out?" he stuttered.
"The fact that you're looking at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train." she replied shortly. Joe looked either way again before relaxing. "There, that's better."
"A bit." he said, nodding.
"Ok, I'm sorry, but I really got to jet. It was great meeting you, Joe!" she said, pulling out her iPod earphones.
"Wait! What's your number?" he asked as she was halfway out the door. She gave him another brilliant smile before rattling it off and taking off down the street. Joe remained in a daze for a moment before snapping to and entering the number into his phone so that he wouldn't forget it.
"Oh, it has been a GOOD day!" he said, spinning on the spot and punching the air in excitement. He then proceeded to order another coffee, actually send the text he was meaning to, and began fabricating a bit smoother story of what he was going to tell his brothers. It took all it had in him not to run the two blocks to his house, and even that wasn't enough to stop him from sprinting the last few steps to where Nick and Kevin were playing PlayStation (ha! he knew it!)
"Oh. My. God." he interrupted, but Nick and Kevin weren't paying attention. They were arguing about Kevin killing Nick or something, as if it mattered! "Excuse me, I believe I said OH MY GOD!"
"What?!" Kevin finally said, pausing the game and looking to his younger brother. Joe quickly relayed the story of the coffee shop encounter to them, but they didn't seem impressed. Did they not see how perfect this was?!
"So we finally get to see Joe in Action, eh?" Nick said. "I think even Miley will be over here to see this."
"It's gonna be intense, little bro." Kevin said, throwing an arm around his brother and looking off into the distance.
"You all suck and I hate you both!" Joe said.
"No you don't." Kevin said, getting up and walking to the kitchen.
"No, no I don't..." Joe mumbled before running off to his room.
...later that evening...
For all the time Joe had to get ready before Olivia came, he still wasn't ready by the time she arrived. In fact, Kevin was still fixing Joe's hair when Nick let her in, and they were both sitting there...awkwardly. Awkwardness seemed to follow the poor girl.
"Hey Olivia," Joe said, whipping out his alter-ego, Rico Suave. "I see you've met Nick and Miley." Olivia smiled in response.
"Yea," Nick said, grateful for the conversation. "Turns out that Olivia is Miley's new neighbor across the street, the one she flipped out on?"
"And again you bring that up..." Miley said, rolling her eyes.
"We usually pretend we don't know them." Joe whispered to Olivia, who laughed softly. "Oh yea, this is Kevin." he added, flicking a hand in his older brother's direction.
"Hey Kevin, I'm Olivia." she said, holding her hand out and shaking Kevin's, who smiled.
"Hopefully you didn't meet somewhere else, like prison or over spilled coffee or something." Joe said, saying the first thing that came to his mind in order to delay the inevitable awkward silence.
"Prison?" Miley asked, perking an eyebrow. Joe waved her off.
"No," Olivia laughed. "the detention facility I was in wasn't around here."
Joe turned and stared at her, shocked. As did the rest of the room.
Olivia looked around nervously. "That was supposed to be funny. You know, like a joke?"
"OH." Joe said, visibly relieved. "You see, those are sparce around here."
Kevin, Miley, and Nick all looked at each other, trying not to laugh at how hard Joe was trying. Olivia, however, seemed to appreciate his humor, as she was genuinely laughing with him.
"So, uh, do you guys want do something? We were planning to just chill and watch a movie or what ever." Nick said, trying to help his poor brother out.
"You cool with that?" Joe asked Olivia.
"Yea, I'm fine with anything." she said, shrugging and smiling.
"She's fine with anything." Joe repeated to the others. Kevin rolled his eyes.
"Yea, I heard. Just pick a movie, we'll all go get snacks." he said, walking (again) towards the kitchen, Nick and Miley following.
"Is this just painfully awkward?" Joe said, turning toward her as soon as they were out of the room. He had a somewhat pained look on his face. Olivia laughed again.
"No, not at all! Your family's fun! So just relax." she said, shaking his shoulder a bit.
"Alright. OH! You wanna see something intense?" he asked, suddenly excited.
"Of course!" she replied, and Joe whipped out his hand, where a short, thin cut was across his palm.
"Yesterday, I was having a really extreme paper wad fight with Nick, and one just went FLYING towards our little brother, Frankie - he's at a friend's house tonight - and I quickly just swept it away, and Frankie was alright, but I got this cut!" he said, thrusting his hand towards her with great enthusiasm.
"Oh, pobre cito." she said, laughing. "You're such a strong soul."
"Yea, it was bleeding for a really long time, but then my mom put a band-aid on it - a Ninja Turtle band-aid, actually." he said, seemingly proud of it.
"Ah, Ninja Turtles are cool, but I'm a CareBear girl myself." Olivia said, going along with it with a smile on her face.
"You would be..." Joe said, rolling his eyes with a huge smile.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she responded in mock indignation, pushing his shoulder again. He held up his hands defensively.
"Nothing, just that you could have been Funshine in another life or something." he said, laughing.
"Well I can't help it if I'm just so cute with a bubbly personality." she said, giving him another nudge on the arm.
"Psh whatever."
"And no, you're not checking my stomach for a smiling sun mark." she said. Joe's face fell.
"Oh, come on. It's not like I didn't spill coffee on it this morning or anything." he said.
"Yea, I only allowed you to touch my abs in the first place because I've been working out hard core lately and they're really impressive."
"Psh, whatever. My abs are probably waaaaaay more impressive." Joe said, waving his hand. He left out the fact that he hadn't done a sit up in...forever.
"Oh, you silly little pickle." she said in an odd French accent.
"'Silly little pickle'?" he asked. She sighed.
"Clearly you've never seen Veggie Tales." she said.
"They have shows with vegetables?"
"Yea!" she said animatedly. "Bob the Tomato? Larry the Cucumber? Ever heard of them?"
"No. So where did the pickle come from?"
"Oh, well, it's reenacting Joshua and Jericho, but the people of Jericho are really these villainous French grapes and...I'm going to stop embarrassing myself now." she said, suddenly looking shy.
"But I still don't get the pickle." Joe said.
"Oh. The grapes called the cucumber a 'silly little pickle'. The end." she said.
"Pickles are yummy." Joe threw out. The randomness was intensified.
"That's true." Olivia said with a definite air.
"But I only like the whole ones, not the spears." he continued. She slapped him across the shoulder.
"No way! Me too! And not the huge ones you get at ball parks, those are sick nasty." she said.
"Um, sorry to interrupt the pickle-talk..." Kevin came in. "But did you two pick a movie?"
"Sorry, we kinda got a little distracted." Joe said, giving a half smile at his brother and Olivia, who smiled back. Nick looked like he was about to say something (embarrassing, by the evil look on his face), but Miley quickly elbowed him in the ribs. "What'd you do to tick off the wife?" Joe said, looking towards Nick and throwing his arm on the couch behind Olivia (not technically around her, cause that would probably be a little awkward).
"Shut up or I'll come over there and give you another paper cut." he said threateningly. Joe shrugged and turned back to Kevin, who had finally come to a decision on the movie. It went through without a hitch (except when Nick and Miley went into the kitchen to "pick out a soda" - yea right, the Jonas' must have had millions of sodas for the amount of time they were in there). It was only after the movie that things got...well, awkward. Again!
"Joe, I think I better get going." Olivia said.
"Yea?" he asked, his face falling just barely.
"Yea." she said softly, giving a half smile. They got up and walked to the door.
"I promise, things aren't normally this random and awkward." he said hurredly. She laughed again.
"No worries, I had fun."
"So I'll see you around?" he asked hopefully.
"For sure." she responded as he opened the door for her.
"Ok, bye Olivia." he said as she walked down the driveway. She turned, her skirt twirling with the sudden movement. Joe had to admit that she looked very nice when not in running garb.
"For the love, Joe, just call me Liv. All my friends do." she said, giving a bright smile. He smiled back.
"I'll see you around, Liv." he said.
"You've got my number. Use it." she said, giving him a wink and walking over to her car. Joe closed the door and gave probably one of the most enthusiastic victory dances he had ever done in his entire life.
And now, all he had to do was endure the wrath of his brothers, plus the wife.
X-X-X-X-X
alright, so basically almost all of the date scene at the house can be attributed to clairebear536. i only took poetic license on a couple of lines, but considering this is a spinoff, it's only reasonable that it uses their beginning in the intro!
and i do strongly encourage you go read "me and mr. jonas" considering it is basically the bomb dot com. peace out!