AN- I wrote this thing like a jillion years ago and decided to post it up. Completely AU, btw.
Chapter 1- Lois's point of view
Early morning thoughts.
' This room is too bright. Jesus! It feels like a train has just hit me! When was the last time I woke up with this kind of headache? Well, I was pretty hung over the other day, but that doesn't count. Damn it! I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning! I shouldn't be sending clothes to that slob anyway. If he spills spaghetti sauce all over my new suit again, I swear!
…3, 2, 1…..
Who the hell said that works anyway! That also reminds me I got to return that library book. Isn't that thing like, four weeks over due? What was that book even about? Lets see, I read the inside cover then fell asleep. Reading is not my thing anyway. Maybe that's why I can't spell. Maybe I shouldn't dwell on that.
Maybe I should wake up and face the new day!
Quit kidding yourself Lane. I need coffee. Yeah. That's it, a nice strong cup of coffee. And Chinese food. Got to have my kung-pow chicken. Well, if you get your coffee-addicted ass out of bed maybe I can have some. Sounds like a plan Lane. Alright, time for the old morning routine.'
SSSSSTTTTTTRRRRRRREEEEEEEETTTTTCCCCHHHHHH. Yawn sleepily. Blow hair off face. Rub eyes. Sit up, and BANG!
"OW! WHAT THE HELL!" I screamed that my morning routine had been brutally interrupted. Not to mention the bump on my head was going to definitely add on to my headache. I looked up to see, the ceiling? WTF?
Deep breaths, there's got to be some weird explanation to this. I slowly turn my head so I can get a glimpse behind me, or under me I suppose, to only discover my bed several feet behind me… Or under me…below me...
What the hell is going on!? Well, this seems like a good circumstance to panic, doesn't it?
I effectively fulfill my role as damsel in distress by screaming, falling onto the bed, bouncing and doing a not very graceful belly flop on the hard, cold floor.
OUCH.
And just as I was thinking at how that was a pleasant way to wake up, I witness a flash of red and blue charging through my door splintering it into a million pieces with a deafening crash sound.
And there stood farm boy in all his red and blue glory looking at me worriedly with his gorgeous eyes.
I can only imagine what I look like right now. Sprawled out on the floor, hair sticking up in all directions, wearing my Bugs Bunny pajamas, mouth hanging open and eyes wide and staring at him.
He suddenly looked shy and awkward.
"Um, I, uh, I heard you scream." He said not looking at me.
I finally stood up and looked at him, then at the pile of wood that was now scattered all over the apartment floor.
"You know you just mercilessly killed my door, right?"
He looked at the doorway, finally noticing that the door looked like it had been trampled to the ground. He looked shocked. And cute.
He began stuttering again. "Oh! I'm sorry, I, uh, thought you were, you know. In trouble. Because, well, you screamed. So, I thought, I'll come and, you know, check up on you…" When he finished his ramble he finally looked at me apologetically.
I smirked. This was just too cute. I'll bust his chops about this later.
"You know Smallville, you could've just knocked. And its not like that door has a lock. So next time, can you refrain from scratching that hero itch of yours and going all locomotive on my front door? Besides, you still owe me money to repair the bathroom wall!" I crossed my arms in emphasis that he needed to stop destroying my apartment.
He immediately responded with his famous narrowing of his eyes, cocking of his head to the side and smirking. Yeah, that was his annoyed look that he usually wore around me. My own smirk grew wider. This was always fun.
"Well, sorry for looking out for you and trying to be your friend! And I've told you that I'll personally fix the wall-"
"And door." I added.
"- and door, when I got the time."
"Whatever, Smallville. All I know is that I can't live without a door for that long, so you better 'find time' around now and this afternoon."
He really looked annoyed now.
I suddenly feel my head screaming for attention as I remember my blistering headache. I clutch my head and start walking towards the kitchen mumbling something about coffee and freaking farm boys.
"Why did you scream anyway?" he asked as I began pouring myself a cup of coffee. I sipped greedily at the stuff as I contemplated what just happened a few minutes ago. I guess the technical term would be, floating?
NAH.
Whatever happened, it wasn't natural.
"I wasn't screaming Smallville." I muttered awkwardly.
He raised his eyebrows.
"I was just, exercising my lungs." I almost smacked my forehead at how pathetic that sounded.
"What?" Clark asked confused. I had no choice but to go along with my own pathetic-ness.
"You know, exercising my lungs. You never heard of that?" I asked looking at him as if he sprouted a second head.
He opened his mouth to answer but I interrupted him.
"Of course you haven't farm boy. Look." I walked to the other side of the counter to where Clark was standing.
"All you have to do is breath in deeply, then you let out, not a scream, but a, um, loud sound. Come on, try it!" I encouraged. My eye almost twitched at the words coming out of my mouth.
"You know Lois, I think I'm going to take off. I'll come by later to fix your door." He said before walking off hurriedly in the direction of the nearest broken down exit.
"Yeah, well, you're missing out on one hell of a lung exercise!" I yelled after him.
'Oh shut-up Lane! You just scared him off! He probably thinks you're crazy!' I thought as I furiously stirred in a ton of sugar into my coffee.
'Maybe I am crazy.' I looked in the direction of my bed and wondered what just happened.
As Chloe would say: "Just an average day in sunny Smallville, Kansas!"
I shook my head and drained the rest of my coffee.
"I have got to move."
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