Disclaimer: Don't I wish I owned all that hot shinobi ass.

It was a bright and beautiful Monday afternoon; the birds were singing, the sun was shining, and inside the missions room, Umino Iruka was absolutely furious.

"I swear, Genma, you Jounin have no respect whatsoever for protocol!" The scarred chuunin fumed, banging his 'approved' stamp down onto the very late mission report he had just received from Anko.

"I'm just so sick and tired of this! The attitude that just because you are the oh-so-high-and-mighty jounin that it's therefore okay to be complete and total slackers!"

Genma's senbon began to flick back and forth guiltily as he lounged against the wall next to where Raidou sat putting the last finishing touches on his not-late mission report. Asuma, who had been leaning against the wall waiting for Kurenai to show up, frowned at this, his fingers twitched, so he lit up a cigarette.

"So, what do you intend to do about it?" Raidou asked, glancing up from his writing.

Iruka was in such a huff he blurted out the first thing that came to mind when he thought about punishments:

"The next Jounin who comes in here with a late report….I'm going to spank them."

Asuma choked on his inhale, Raidou looked horrified, Genma nearly dropped his senbon, Iruka blushed, and Hatake Kakashi strolled into the missions room.

"Yo!" he greeted as he slouched up to where Iruka sat behind the table.

"Sorry it's late, you see there was this…" He trailed off as he watched the faint blush on Iruka's face go brick red, reaching all the way to his ears.

"Maa, you feeling alright Iruka-sensei?" He asked, moving around the desk to press the backs of his fingers against Iruka's forehead, as if checking for fever.

Iruka took a very deep breath, swallowed hard, and then carefully stood up directly into Kakashi's personal space.

"I'm just peachy, Kakashi-kun." He purred. Yes, purred, as he wrapped a tanned hand around one of Kakashi's wrists.

If Kakashi, having just awoken and stumbled out of bed in time to turn his late report in to the sexy sensei he knew manned the missions desk at this particular hour, cocked his head to the side in confusion. 'Am I dreaming?' he thought, staring down at where Iruka's fingers were clasped loosely around his bony wrist. 'Did he say 'peachy'?'

"However, you, Kakashi-kun, you have been very, very…naughty." Iruka continued in the sexed-up version of his 'teacher voice'.

Kakashi just stood there, now beginning to panic as he assured himself that no, he wasn't dreaming, and yes, Iruka had indeed said 'peachy'. 'Oh man,' he thought, 'Iruka has finally lost it! Teaching all those little hell-spawn got to him after all these years and he's flown the coop!'

"Your report, I'm afraid, is late again, so that means I'm going to have to…punish you." The way Iruka said 'punish' made it sound like a sinful dessert or maybe a sex position.

'Punish me, sensei, oh puh-leeeeeeze puuuuuuuuniiiiiiish meeeeeee!' Inner-Kakashi squealed like the perverted fan-boy he was, and before Kakashi could snap himself back to reality to deal with the potentially nutty professor, he found himself pulled down over Iruka's lap, a sharp 'slap' applied to his butt.

Asuma dropped his cig, Raidou dropped his pen, Genma dropped his senbon, Iruka spanked Kakashi and Kakashi, well, Kakashi got spanked. Hard.

"If I ever (smack) catch you (smack) turning in a late report (smack) again (slap) I'm going to make sure (smack) that you won't (smack) be able to walk straight (smack) let alone go out (spank) and even do a mission (smack)! Have (smack) I (smack) made (smack) myself (spank) clear (spank)!" Iruka's tirade came to an end.

Kakashi's protests went something like this:

"Hey! (smack) What are you! (smack) Did you just! (smack) Ouch! (slap) Come on now! (smack) Stop it! (smack) OW! (smack) Hey now! (spank) Cut that out! (smack) OW! (smack) Anything but that! (smack) Quit it! (smack) Ouchie! (spank) Iruka! (spank)"

When he was finished, Iruka let go of the back of Kakashi's vest, the Jounin immediately rolled off his lap, under the desk and leapt to his feet, an affronted look on his, well, eye, and both hands over his butt.

"Thank you for your hard work, shinobi-san," Iruka said smoothly, pulling his chair back up to the desk and stamping his seal of approval onto Kakashi's late report. There was a moment of absolute silence before all of the Jounin suddenly made a break for it. Asuma fled through the door, Raidou and Genma took the window and Kakashi bampf-ed the hell away from there.

And unfortunately for Iruka, when he did his next shift in the missions room, every single one of the reports turned in was late.