Gone

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"What the FUCK do you mean 'I'm gonna go'? You planning a fucking vacation from me? From us? What the hell, Fang?!" I was so angry I could barely see through my eyes; the whole room was blurry.

"Max, Angel and Nudge will he-"

"I don't give a fuck about them right now! What's wrong with you?!" I picked up the alarm clock on the bedside table and threw it at him, hard. He dodged. "What- you think 'cause we're not fucking you can just walk away?!"

Okay, back up. I know for a fact I had never been this angry before, so there may be some well-formed confusion on the matter. There's a good explanation for all of this, believe me. Or, as good as there ever is in Max World.

All right, starting from the beginning, sort of, back when we had just finished saving the world and stuff. Ah, simpler times. We all decided it was high time to find our place in the world, ie, a home where we wouldn't be pegged as 'circus freaks' or 'super heroes'. Flattering as it was, it just wasn't us. So we settled for LA, temporarily, at least. What can I say? It was the sunshine that drew us. That, and the flock really loved the idea of meeting movie stars.

We ended up renting a low-budget apartment with help on the lease from anonymous yet good-willed e-mailing benefactors. I got a job at a rock-climbing place and Fang in a surf shop. Angel and Gazzy had been having fun running around at Billy's Water World. Without man-wolves, I figured that the kids could take on anything since wolly-mammoths hit the dust. Or ice, as it were.

Nudge found her calling working at a local ice-cream shop and finally getting flirty with the local beach bums. This annoyed me enough, Fang some, and, oddly, Iggy a great deal more than I would have suspected. Iggy, who had taken rather quickly to skateboarding, was the first blind contender set to skate in some stupidly-named contest at the end of August, after which we were all set to enter school again, much the flock's dismay.

After the kiss in the cave, Fang and I were just friends. Again. Anyway, few weeks back, he came up to me. "What's the deal? I mean, with us?"

I walked out on him. Guess I shouldn't have done that. Since then, it had been strained between us. After that little incident, he had taken to be seen on various beaches with various blonde-haired, brown-eyed tramps. Though I suppose they might have objected to being called such. They were typical surfer-babes, never actually having set foot on a board, but having slept with enough surfers to claim secondhand surfing as a steady hobby. Since then, for some odd reason, I had been in a foul mood. Maybe it was PMS. Maybe it was the constantly warm weather. Maybe it was the Hellmouth trying to tell me I was the new slayer. Whatever it was, I was damn irritable.

But, in any case, the happiness of the flock had finally been established; the elder among us had found working, paying jobs, and all the shit of the past seemed finally to have passed us over. Life was good. By comparison, anyway.

But no. No, life could not have been that easy. Now it hit me, sorry, it hit us like a fucking tidal wave.

"What the FUCK do you mean 'I'm gonna go'?"

Oh, sorry, already been through the part. Here we go. "'cause we're not fucking you can just walk away?!"

"No, Max, calm down..." he began towards me, hands up defensively.

"Fuck you, asshole!" I stormed towards him; he was blocking the door. He knew this. He grabbed my arms to keep me back. No way, José, I was helluvalot stronger than he was. I shoved hard against his hands as he held my forearms tight in his grasp. "Let go of me! If you wanna walk out on us, do it! Leave me the fuck outta it!" I shrieked, by now mildly hoping that Angel and Nudge were not, in fact, in the apartment. I didn't think they were.

"Max, I just can't do this anymore!" He yelled back at me, his face contoured with fury, his eyes and brow pressing through clear hurt. "I can't fucking live like this!"

"Like what?" I had stopped struggling some. He threw me backwards.

"Finally! She listens to me!" He gave a half-laugh, mocking like I had never seen him. He crossed the room so I had to turn to face him as he paced, head down, running his hands through his dark hair. His face jerked up, eyes piercing mine. "Max, you don't listen to me. You don't pay attention when I need it. You have no ability to understand what I'm going through. Sure," he gestured, "you know Angel, and Nudge, and Gazzy and Iggy-" he made a violent hand motion, now yelling, "but when it comes to me, your self-proclaimed, 'best friend'," his voice dropped back down to a whisper as his eyes bore into mine once again, "you just don't care."

I was in shock. And that was not easy for me- the last time I was in shock was when I discovered my mortal enemy was actually my brother. It's pretty hard to top that. But, not caring? Not listening? I always listened, to everyone! It was me that didn't get enough me-time.

"Fang, if anyone doesn't get enough people to listen to them, it's me." I had moved a few feet from the door, still standing across the room from him.

"No, Max, I listen to you. Whenever you want, I'm there." He shook his head, demeaningly. I didn't much like it.

I cut him off from his train-of-thought. "Well, I've never not listened to you- you just don't talk." I dismissed his anger.

"Max- you don't ask." His face had actually broken out into a terrible, pitying smile, like a last, despondent attempt at something. At me, maybe. "To keep a relationship- a friendship alive, you need to care, or at least act like you do. You've forgotten that, I think. And that's barely the half of it..." he mumbled, pushing up to me to get out the door.

"Wait a minute." I pressed hard against his chest, not allowing him to leave just yet. "What do you mean, 'barely the half of it'?" My face showed obvious confusion, I knew, but he just laughed at me. "What?"I shot back.

"Max, you really are completely clueless, aren't you?"

I just stared at him, my hands still pressed up against his chest. He dipped down to my face and kissed me. Long, and desperate, feeling like everything in the world was about to fail, and this was all we had, all and forever, and I was okay with that. Then, he pushed passed me and left. "Goodbye, Max." I heard him murmur on his way out. I didn't know what to say. I know I should have said something. But I didn't.

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