Disclaimers: I don't own Black Cat or any of the characters related to it. And sadly, I don't own the utterly sexy Sven. But if anyone is able to draw some good Sven/Tearju fanart that is kept just short of mature and is related to the story, the best ones will get an opportunity to have yours truly write a short story for them about ANYTHING they want! Examples, you ask? Jenos wakes up with Madame Freesia! Deak needs Annette's help asking Woodney out on a date! Maro and Saya do ballroom dancing! This is how desperate I am to see some Sven/Tearju art!

Undern'Eathes It All: The Morning After

The dawn light woke Sven up the next morning, and he was feeling better than he had in a long time. He tried to keep his eyes shut against the sun, but it slowly brought him back to the real world. Then Sven suddenly became aware of the warm, soft mass nestled against his body like a spoon. A blond woman still slept in his firm embrace, peaceful as an angel, her bare skin touching his.

Sven could not believe what had happened last night. All he remembered was that retarded monkey turning into him, and then Tearju ripping off his clothes (looking beside him, he saw two different types of clothing in a messy pile) and then both of them engaging in some hot, sweaty, unrestrained lovemaking. God, just thinking about it made Sven feel libidinous all over again.

Lifting his head a little, he noticed that amidst the action, a small rug had become cleverly strewn so that it covered both of their nether regions. With a naughty smirk on his face, Sven let one of his hands slide down Tearju's chest and belly while he lightly nibbled her ear. The nanotech doctor groaned and opened her eyes. She turned to face him, her glasses resting crooked on top of her head and her lips parted in a huge smile.

"It's been years since I've felt this elated," she sighed. "Last night was simply phenomenal!"

"Yeah, you were amazing," replied Sven, clasping her by the waist. He gave her a seductive glance. "Are you up for another round before the 'kids' wake up?" Now it was Tearju's turn to give an involuntary nod and shiver with excitement as Sven rolled on top of her and gave her the French kiss from heaven. When they broke for air, she giggled as his tongue glided down her neck, ready to do some very viewer-discretion-is-advised things…

Until Eve came in.

Eve had been so tired from using her nanopower to haul the heavy Train up to his room that she hadn't even taken note of the two lovebirds sprawled out in the middle of the living room when she went into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. But as she headed back upstairs with Tearju's What part of Emc² do you not understand? mug, Eve heard odd noises, and what she saw caused her to drop said mug and stare in shock. She didn't even care that scalding tea lapped at her bare feet. All that her intelligent little mind was able to process at that moment was the sight of her beloved guardian getting ready to do the big nasty (again) with her creator.

The sound of the shattering mug caused Sven to pause mid-lick and meet his young companion's gaze with a surprised expression that made him look like his tongue was stuck to a frozen pole. He even muttered, "Oh thit," without his tongue breaking contact with Tearju's chest. It took him a second to snap out of it, yet he could only manage a feeble, "Oh, Eve…you're up early."

With the images from the previous night replaying in her formerly innocent mind, Eve had the sudden urge to throw up. She ran up the stairs lightning fast and slammed the bathroom door behind her. Amidst the sound of the young girl retching, an awkward silence ensued. There was Sven, straddled atop the world's leading nanotech scientist, suddenly deprived of the horniness that had started this in the first place. With a heavy sigh, Sven got up and hustled up the stairs to check on Eve…

Yet he forgot his clothes, which made the poor girl vomit even more.

Train awoke that morning very perplexed. All he remembered from last night was trying his damnedest to transform back to normal near the lake. Train looked at his body and was thrilled to see everything had returned to their regular proportions. So perhaps he had conked out after spending his energy on that, then was found and carried off by one of the others? That seemed reasonable. But what Train couldn't understand was the weird dream he had while unconscious…in it, he was watching a band of midgets try to take Sven, Eve, and Tearju hostage or something; Echidna was there, too, along with some monkey, and then Sven was suddenly posing in the nude. It probably all had some deep Freudian or Jungian meaning, but having never even heard of Freud nor Jung , Train could only assume that those nanomachines were messing with his brain.

Before Train was able to flop back down on the pillow to sleep some more, he heard a rattling from the stairs near his room. The Black Cat casually swung his feet onto the floor, stretched, and walked to his door to see what the commotion was about. As soon as he opened it, he barely caught sight of Eve slamming the bathroom door. By the sound of her barfing, Train initially assumed that she had eaten one of Tearju's "omlettes" by force. Not even a minute later, though, a blur of a Sven rushed up the stairs and past Train, nearly colliding into…

Wait a minute…was Sven naked? Train poked his head out to make sure he wasn't seeing things, only to get knocked down to the floor by Tearju dressed in nothing but a rug.

Train had the feeling this wasn't a side effect.

Echidna had slept wonderfully last night. She experienced such an incredible fantasy about that handsome, green-haired Sweeper who was almost killed by Creed. The Gate Taoist practically radiated with joy as she stretched and recalled the most wild, steamy moments. Her porcelain arm lightly nudged something next to her, and it felt a lot like…

Fur? Maybe it wasn't a dream and that Sven guy was in her bed, (and a lot more hairy than she thought). Unlikely, but hey, she'd woken up next to some extravagant figures during her acting career, (who could forget her one night stand with Robert Downey Jr.?) Comforted by this thought, Echidna slowly turned her head to gaze lovingly at…

"EATHES?!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs. Echidna recoiled and gathered the sheets around her bare body at the sight of Eathes sprawled out fitfully on the bed, smoking one of her cigarettes. He didn't have his toga or hat, and with a shudder, Echidna remembered that she had ruined his clothes at the doctor's house. Ugh, she felt so dirty and defiled now! And just when she thought things couldn't get any creepier, the Tao monkey shot a seductive simian look at her and…winked!

The sound of shattering glass was heard. Shiki, who was outside tending to the hideout's garden with his bugs, whipped his head around just in time to see Eathes sailing out of Echidna's window. Our favorite bundle of cloth scampered out of the line of projection and watched in horror as the flying monkey slammed into a bed of pansies. And he had just given them their weekly soil nutrients! Caring not about any animal protection laws, Shiki conjured up his biggest bugs and proceeded to beat the crap out of Eathes.

Back in Echidna's room, Creed had poked his head in to check what was the matter. Upon seeing a nearly-naked Echidna cheer Shiki on through the broken window, he immediately turned around and tried to forget that he saw anything.

Everything had finally calmed down at the Lunatique house. Tearju had taken it upon herself to tell Eve about the birds and the bees while she sewed the buttons back on Sven's shirt. She was surprised to learn how much her little clone already knew about sex, and she even became a tad disturbed when the young girl would finish her sentences. Their conversation went something like this…

"When a man is very attracted to a woman, he–"
"Has an erection, I know."
Silence.
"…I meant to say 'becomes very excited'."

The two then joined Train for a delicious breakfast made by a fully dressed Sven, complete with bacon, eggs, potatoes, toast, and fresh fruit (Sven nearly passed out when Tearju started eating a banana). When it was finally time to go, Train and Eve thanked the doctor for her hospitality and waited outside for Sven to come along. He stood with Tearju in the doorway, and looking cautiously at Eve, he simply shook hands and said goodbye. But right as Sven turned around, Tearju goosed him. The sweeper turned around and saw her giggling quietly.

"I'm appalled, Dr. Tearju!" declared Sven in a very stern tone. "That wasn't very respectful, and as adults, we should be better role models." Eve beamed with satisfaction and seated herself under a tree, facing the other way, to continue reading. Sven had tried to keep his voice as serious as he could, but there was an evident spark of mischief in his eye. "Besides," he continued, stepping into the doorway and whispering in Tearju's ear, "we don't need anyone seeing how Svenny baby deals with naughty girls." Sven quickly backed Tearju up against the wall in the front corridor and commenced an all-out necking session. Train decided to do a very noble thing and shut the door just as the two were engaging in things that would make this an M-rated fanfic.

Eve looked up from her book and turned around to look at Train

"Wait. Where'd Sven go?"

"Um…He left his hat inside," the Black Cat hesitated, pulling at his bell collar like Rodney Dangerfield.

"But he was just wearing-"

"Let's wait in the car, princess," urged Train, glancing back at the closed front door. "This might take a while…"